Are you actually slow traveling @WRC? Do you and DW have moments of boredom? This would be a good indicator that you are traveling slow enough.
Slow travel is probably a bit relative, but I think we are probably going slower than 95% of the people we meet. This is particularly true in Vietnam as we've opted to spend a full 12 weeks here. We shared a table at a busy cafe with a French woman today, and she specifically remarked on how slow we are going when I mentioned our itinerary thus far. We've heard similar comments from others. We've only stayed less than a week in two cities thus far (Hue and Quy Nhon), and the latter was to break up a long train ride. Travel speed and duration is often dictated by visas, so it is much easier to move slowly in countries and regions with three month visas, versus 30 day visas.
I'm actually surprised that I haven't gotten bored yet. I think this is a good thing. I thought I would have ample time to catch up on old shows I wanted to watch, among other hobbies and activities. There always seems like there is plenty to do between reading, journaling, travel logistics, exercise, flaneuring, swimming, picnics, photography, and just staring at the horizon. I'm happy to report that I've started taking naps again for the first time in years
Your comment did get me thinking about my itinerary a little more though.
I have tried to explain the difference between being on vacation versus being nomadic and I often feel like I am not explaining it very well. It is not like being on vacation you still have to do everyday stuff. The everyday stuff will be more complicated.
This is such a great point and worth highlighting. In my experience, it is even more challenging in that there are often amazing things to experience or areas to explore. I often feel obligated to experience some of this, considering I may not ever return to a particular location. The past week DW and I have been in a much more touristic mode, partially because of the available options - alpine coaster through a pine forest to a series of massive waterfalls and some light hiking, cable cars to a stunning Buddhist monastery, and explorations through some mind-blowing architectural marvels that feel like a blend of the imagination of Miyazaki and Roald Dahl. I love photography and have captured some stunning photos over the last week by getting out and actively exploring. I've also experimented more with filming, which is one of my long-term goals.
However, some of the challenges I'm dealing with above are likely the result of trying to balance "vacation mode" with a more sustainable, slow-travel lifestyle. It was something I was aware of before I left, but it is particularly challenging in that most of our best memories result from getting out and doing the touristy stuff.
Much of it comes down to building a new system, and that takes time.
In order to relax from being the logistician, you need to first learn how to express your preferences/feelings. Rule of thumb is that it is easier to experience pleasure if you are not the logistician/decision-maker in the moment. That's why decision-makers have a higher pay grade.
DW and I have been together for 18 years and married for ten. We've probably eased into certain roles in the relationship, but some of that simply reflects our respective strengths. I'm literally "the planner/architect" in the Myers Briggs framework, so I've naturally gravitated to that role.
Fortunately, as a result of that time together, I know her preferences well and can design a trip that fits her preferences but also fits within the budget and meets my needs (hence the Vietnamese coast over the Italian coast or Greek islands). I figured out early in our relationship, after taking her on a somewhat arduous, high elevation backpacking trip in the North Cascades that I needed to consider her comfort level and ability before embarking on joint adventures. Even if she says she is good with something, it might not be true. After that trip, we continued backpacking but I stuck to shorter hikes along river valleys and to backcountry lakes without massive elevation change. She enjoys those more than car camping.
If I was completely expressing my own preferences, I'd probably be embarking on the PCT, or planning a trek in the Himalayas, or perhaps the Camino de Santiago.
Ultimately, at this point in our relationship it is about compromise, respecting our individual preferences, and leaning into our strengths.
because my assumption would be that your wife is "prettier" than you, and the pain/costs of decision-making is part of the price you are paying for the "pretty" towards current equilibrium in your relationship.
You are definitely right on this front. DW is much prettier than me
Slow travel is also a choice. I get the impression you guys relocate by one plane-distance at a time. Instead consider a bike or a bus-distance. If the new place doesn't work, you simply move back to where you came from. Meandering around the world. Basically emulating a bike trip around the world. I'm pretty sure touring bikers only plan 1 day at a time.
In the past we've generally embraced this approach. I'll select a region that has decent public transit available and try to travel like a local - via train, bus, or ferry. This is part of the reason Vietnam represented the second stop on our trip - they have an excellent, affordable train system along the coast for thousands of miles. Over the last 10+ weeks we've only used trains and busses to travel across the country. With that said, we don't have the same fortitude for 8-16 hour bus rides anymore. We've compromised a bit on our ideals and are flying (or planning to), more than we ever did before. If I was traveling solo, I'd probably be more willing to do the 16 hour overnight bus ride, but DW isn't really into it and it doesn't actually save that much money.
A lot of our itinerary is dictated by visas and weather. When considering those factors (at least in this particular region), it limits the options significantly. In our case, we could potentially take a long bus into rural Laos or Cambodia, but the temperatures are often above 100 degrees and the roads are unpredictable with monsoons.
The touring analogy is probably apt for our general approach. While they may only plan a day at a time, they also need a longer-term plan and itinerary as certain areas are extremely challenging to ride through in particular seasons. Those touring in SE Asia also have to consider visas, resupply points, access to potable water, and weather conditions. While it may look like they are only planning one day at a time, they likely have a much more detailed plan if they plan on covering a significant distance. Touring in Europe or "credit card" touring is likely a completely different game than self supported touring through multiple countries.
You know, I never understood travel people, but I think I know why. The difference is whether every stunning sight is a new unique experience, or whether "seeing stunning sights" is just one experience that one then repeats, eventually not getting all that much out of it. This comes down to which level of abstraction one exists at. For example, is every bite of the apple different or are all bites from the apple the same. For that matter, are apples sufficiently similar that we can talk about the concept of an apple.
I've read your observations on travel closely over the years, and I suspect you've been exposed primarily to people who approach travel as consumption, rather than an exercise in curiosity. Many people are simply approaching it as a consumptive activity, rather than one of personal growth, connection, and exploration. You've mentioned elsewhere that living for a year or more in another country is more enriching than simply traveling there or approaching it as a tourist. As someone who has done that, I wholeheartedly agree. But...life is short and there are only so many places one can choose to live.
Travel represents an opportunity to reset in a different environment, to experience parts of the world more richly than I could through a book or video. There are intangibles that I pick up on the road that I could never grok through reading about a place. Some things can't be experienced second-hand. It makes me more humble, curious, and excited about the world. It challenges my inner hobbit that wants to settle down with a second breakfast and a good book or film in his comfortable apartment.
When was the last time you went to a different city or country for at least a week solely with the intent to expose yourself to new ideas and ways of life? Not for work, or a wedding, or something practical.
Wherever you go, there you are. If you approach everything with a job-like efficiency, you will likely do the same with travel turning it into logistics-management. This is why I think the inner journey is important....IOW, what if you're not really happy being a logistics manager despite being good at it. Then the key would not be to find something else, like travel, to apply logistics skill too, but to look for another approach to the world.
This is a particularly helpful insight and something I need to reflect on. I hadn't really considered that I'm simply leaning into a skillset that I'm good at, even though it might not be the best approach. As I mentioned to @7w5, some of this is simply balancing my own preferences with those of DW. The vision of long-term travel helped her get on board with the notion of financial independence many years ago.
NW took a hit last month. Down almost 22k. It was the first month we didn't have any income coming in from our old jobs, so a minor mental shift there. Nonetheless, we are doing well and things are going better than I would have hoped for financially 4-6 months ago. Work continues to remain optional. It is great having access to all of our accounts again, and I noticed that I now have seven years of pretty solid data on NW changes.
DW and I have settled into a lifestyle we call "budget luxury" while on the road, and continue to spend $1k or less per person per month. Budget luxury was kind of how we rolled back home as well.
Professional:
I'm still not missing work at all. I keep an eye from afar on some of the developments and projects with my former employer. I'll need to make some decisions about renewing a professional certification and continuing education credits in the next six months. DW still plans to go back to work when we settle down again. I'll wait and see what's available and how I feel in 6-9 months.
Report from the Shire:
I haven't been there in six months, but I still talk to my folks a few times a week. They have been quite busy with their property and helping out my sister's family. They found someone who was willing to haul away a lot of junk vehicles left on my sister's new property. I think they got 8-9 in total over the course of a few days. Sounded like a lot of upfront work because some of the cars were on blocks, or didn't have steering wheels, or had a host of other problems. Nonetheless, they successfully removed a lot of the eyesores, but still have quite a bit of junk removal remaining. Things are coming along though. I think my BIL has put in a sweat lodge. (The creek offers a natural cold plunge, but I don't think my family has hopped on that bandwagon yet.)
My dad said he had a huge Morel haul this week, and is drying racks of them. Pretty much all in the old orchard.
There have also been multiple cougar sitings in the last six months. One of them close to the cabin a few weeks ago. My BIL was snowshoeing with his dog last November and stumbled across a trapper in the upper mountains. They were each thoroughly surprised due to the remote location and time of year. He has stayed in contact and it sounds like there are three cubs somewhere up in the mountains. My dad decided to pick up a few game cameras and my BIL is helping set them up. I think they are still working out issues around placement and how to best capture animals, rather than wind and falling branches. They've also seen more exciting bird activity. They found a turkey nest last week with 7 eggs. A Great Horned Owl has been visiting the top of the property, and is likely responsible for taking out the gophers who've been a nuisance for years. There has been a lot of logging around the property over the last five years. A combination of harvests on federal, state, commercial, and small holdings. I suspect some of the apex predators are migrating towards my family's property, with mature trees and a healthy ecosystem.
Life on the Road:
DW and I spent eight days in Dalat, and have been in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) for the last few days. We loved Dalat even though it rained almost every day. We spent time hiking through Pine forests, visited a beautiful Buddhist monastery via a multi-mile cable-car ride, visited a lot of unique cafes, saw lots of local art, and enjoyed the bounty of the local agriculture. I played a lot of guitar in different cafes, and have started to come out of my shell a bit when playing in front of other people. I met a local musician who plays professionally, who was hanging out at his friend's restaurant. We went back and forth for an hour or more, going song for song. People over here really love my folksy/hillbilly/country style and song choice.
Saigon has been incredibly hot, but we've managed to get out later in the evening and find some activities with AC during the day. Our first full day in Saigon was on April 30th - Reunification Day. The next day was May 1st - worldwide labor day. Reunification Day commemorates the day in which the North Vietnamese Army captured the presidential palace in Saigon in 1975, and formally ended the war. A personal highlight of that day included a visit through a maze of alleys to a local coffee shop and bakery. It was basically a woman's living room, well decorated with interesting antiques and trinkets. We ordered coffee, tea, and Japanese-style soufflé pancakes. We ended up hanging out for more than an hour, accompanied by her dog and cat. She shared massive avocados from her family's farm in Dalat, and recommended eating them with sugar - which was a first for me. I told her about my preferred style of hot sauce and salt, which blew her mind. We talked about the holiday, the industrial food system elsewhere in the world, our experiences on our family property, Vietnamese coffee, carrying on family traditions, changing weather patterns, the impact of tourism for locals, and the increase of development in Vietnam. It felt like a long, leisurely morning with a friend or relative and is typical of the experience and kindness we've experienced in Vietnam and Thailand. Later that evening we went to a Michelin recommended vegetarian cafe for dinner. The food was delicious, and afterwards we were able to walk by the Presidential Palace, Notre Dame, through a few different parks, and we even popped into a few thrift stores on the way home. I picked up a new pair of Nike running shoes at the massive, Ben Than market as I've almost worn through the soles of my barefoot Merrills. His initial price was $120 and I ended up paying $32. I'm curious how I'll respond to a non-barefoot shoe, but the first couple of days have felt great (under 10k steps though).
In Dalat, I had similar, great conversations with the woman running our homestay. Her English was excellent and she had lived in the Middle East previously. Her family rescued abandoned animals, so we had a motley crew of cats, dogs and birds hanging out. We talked a lot about how much Dalat has changed over the last ten years, and how development and traffic is affecting the local community. I told her I heard similar stories in Hoi An. Tourism is a significant variable, but is is also the growing pains of communities and a country industrializing.
We only have a couple days left, but have loved our time here. During lunch today, we were talking about how fortunate we are to be taking this trip now, rather than in our 60's. We are seeing the country at a unique point in time, and are healthy and active enough to thoroughly enjoy the experience.
During lunch today, we were talking about how fortunate we are to be taking this trip now, rather than in our 60's. We are seeing the country at a unique point in time, and are healthy and active enough to thoroughly enjoy the experience.
Touchstone moments like this one are the foundation of a good relationship. In regular life, day-to-day, couples typically have very different experiences. When they try to discuss them later, it is hard to explain the little things - the complete context - that went into a moment.
Experiencing things together and then rehashing them over lunch. allows you to get right to the point when it is fresh. You get a window into you partner and a mirror reflecting back at yourself that is far clearer than anything to be had by simple explanation alone. Having unusual experiences together, then comparing and contrasting perspectives, is the thing that builds two into one.
You set the scene and showed that beautifully. Well done.
Thanks @ego! We certainly spend a lot of time together, and it is easy to take that for granted at times. One of our common practices at meals is to verbalize gratitude. It keeps the conversation moving in a positive manner. Getting regular, daily exposure to how millions of people in developing countries live makes it quite apparent how fortunate we are.
