They work. They do. It's disgusting.Dragline wrote:Did I ever tell you about my Barry White impersonations . . .
What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Right, but if you don't learn to tolerate some of this sort of behavior, you are more likely to end up with a partner who is not an otherwise careful shopper.There are at least 4 reasons why you might choose to be cautious about involving yourself with a female who does not interrogate. She might be (1)naive to the point of idiocy, (2)just looking for fun, (3)extremely risk-tolerant, or a (4)total shark engaged in some sort of deep and devious play. Currently, both (2) and (3) are true about me, but if/when I am seriously looking for serious, some questions I have asked have been:brute can attest to this. to brute, excessive interrogation feels like she's just going through a checklist, shopping for a new hair dryer. brute does not enjoy feeling like a hair dryer.
1) What would you do if we were camping and a raccoon was eating the food in our cooler?
2) What would you do if a bat flew into a room where we were sleeping together?
3) How often do you generally initiate sex if you are in a long-term monogamous relationship past the phase of limerence?
4) What is your MBTI profile type?
5) Are you generally willing to try new foods?
6) Why would I choose to follow you into a dark alley?
Of course, better filtering practice, based on long tested convention, would be to simply relax, observe behavior and make note of how a man spends his money, holds his liquor, loses his temper, and handles his horses
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
or no partner. which solves many problems.7Wannabe5 wrote:Right, but if you don't learn to tolerate some of this sort of behavior, you are more likely to end up with a partner who is not an otherwise careful shopper.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Yes, that is how I would define it.chenda wrote:So it could be defined simply as a mutual attraction, usually a mutual sexual attraction ?
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
iDave is with Brute on this one. Extremely annoying and an almost instant deal breaker. I guess there's a reason some of us wind up the way we do.BRUTE wrote:brute can attest to this. to brute, excessive interrogation feels like she's just going through a checklist, shopping for a new hair dryer. brute does not enjoy feeling like a hair dryer.7Wannabe5 wrote:My survey of middle-aged men has also informed me that the number one most likely to turn-off behavior exhibited by otherwise attractive females is interrogation.
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
@BRUTE and IlliniDave:
I can practically see the two of you smoking cigars in your leather chairs in some Victorian Club for Gentlemen But, I think there is still hope for a couple of hopelessly romantic old-soul determined bachelors like you. You just haven't let one like this sneak in under your defenses yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5fW7sERw7I
Remember, don't be too very skint with the coal and chocolate That's fair price paid for avoiding interrogation towards egalitarian contract formation.
I can practically see the two of you smoking cigars in your leather chairs in some Victorian Club for Gentlemen But, I think there is still hope for a couple of hopelessly romantic old-soul determined bachelors like you. You just haven't let one like this sneak in under your defenses yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5fW7sERw7I
Remember, don't be too very skint with the coal and chocolate That's fair price paid for avoiding interrogation towards egalitarian contract formation.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
In addition to sexual chemistry, there are other types of chemistry that may be important to you. For example...
Intellectual chemistry: Challenging each other (ideally respectfully, of course) with different viewpoints, perspectives, and ideas
"Leisure time" chemistry: Having complementary interests/hobbies and/or being willing to accommodate each other's
Temperament chemistry: Having compatible modes of handling conflict and stress, seeking downtime, etc. and/or being willing to accommodate each other's
Values chemistry: Having compatible worldviews on moral/ethical issues, money, politics, meaning of life, etc. and/or being willing to accommodate each other's
Intellectual chemistry: Challenging each other (ideally respectfully, of course) with different viewpoints, perspectives, and ideas
"Leisure time" chemistry: Having complementary interests/hobbies and/or being willing to accommodate each other's
Temperament chemistry: Having compatible modes of handling conflict and stress, seeking downtime, etc. and/or being willing to accommodate each other's
Values chemistry: Having compatible worldviews on moral/ethical issues, money, politics, meaning of life, etc. and/or being willing to accommodate each other's
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
...but if there isn't sexual chemistry, you're friends. I don't say "just" because I don't want to diminish that relationship. But it's not a couple relationship.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
I think many of us have some differences in our visual ideal of attractiveness and what we find sexy in real life. I definitely notice tall, dark and handsome but in real life someone closer to my own height is better. It seems less awkward and parts line up better.
I find it astonishing how many fortysomething straight people (my peer group) are in long term relationships with people they do not like to have sex with.
I find it astonishing how many fortysomething straight people (my peer group) are in long term relationships with people they do not like to have sex with.
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Is there a strong correlation between people who no longer like to have sex with each other and the amount of crocs worn and/or size of beer bellies?Laura Ingalls wrote:...
I find it astonishing how many fortysomething straight people (my peer group) are in long term relationships with people they do not like to have sex with.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Not really. One couple I would rate pretty high on the attractiveness scale. Another both yo-yo and are currently very close to historical medians. The third serious substance abuse is the main problem and the sex thing is just part of the mix. The non user looks tired and stressed but fit. The user is malnourished and not even hygenic at this point .FBeyer wrote:Is there a strong correlation between people who no longer like to have sex with each other and the amount of crocs worn and/or size of beer bellies?Laura Ingalls wrote:...
I find it astonishing how many fortysomething straight people (my peer group) are in long term relationships with people they do not like to have sex with.
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
very good insight. brute has this "problem": the set of humans brute can get off on and the set of humans brute finds "beautiful" (=presentable) have almost no overlap at all. it's probably this more than brute's Victorian Gentlemanliness that has made him an eternal bachelor (board certification pending).Laura Ingalls wrote:I think many of us have some differences in our visual ideal of attractiveness and what we find sexy in real life. I definitely notice tall, dark and handsome but in real life someone closer to my own height is better. It seems less awkward and parts line up better.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
I knew she was mistaken about the Victorian Gentlemen part.
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
I didn't say what sort of Victorian Gentleman. Obviously, BRUTE is the flavor of Corinthian likely to hitch dog's rig to a three-penny-upright.
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
While this is true (in so far as this is the first thing I assume if someone mentions "chemistry" in a relationship context).. there may be more to it.GandK wrote:'Chemistry' is a more socially acceptable way of saying 'sexual attraction.'
Or maybe I'm fooling myself and attributing to "chemistry" what some other words describe. The chemistry I've experienced has been a sort of X-factor thing that I've never really put into words or separated effect/cause/correlations from each other. Sometimes this type of chemistry can be present when you first meet someone but goes away once you get to know them (like having a crush?).
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Chemistry is not sexual attraction. I've been extremely attracted to women who I couldn't stand to listen to. I've also felt tremendous rapport leading to actual interest for women that I initially wasn't attracted to.
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Well I'm really confused now...
Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
Chemistry is just a qualitative measure of how easily 2 people get along.
In the short term, when someone says you have no 'chemistry' it just means they arent turned on by you.
In the short term, when someone says you have no 'chemistry' it just means they arent turned on by you.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
I still think it's sex appeal. I've been attracted to women who didn't fit what I thought were my standards of beauty and fitness, but it was still sex appeal. I don't know what they had. I suspect it had to do with my believing they had a sense of abandon, of boldness, I bet direct gazes were involved.
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Re: What is relationship 'chemistry' ??
It has to be mutual; one-sided attraction is not chemistry. Otherwise, everything that enigmaT120 said.