DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

@sshawn, yeah this work pace is killing me. And unfortunately I am stress eating. Hopefully when this move is complete, I can calm down and go back to a more sane diet and exercise pattern.

@Dragline, thanks man! I've found that the only way to keep myself sane sometimes is to hold on to that thin sliver of positivity :D

@WorkingWageWealth, I am saving heaps of money on taxes. I'll be paying around $1500 in property taxes every year for this house in PA that we're moving to. And it looks like I will no longer have to pay NYC muni taxes!!!!! Woot!!!! :D

@RealPerson, I've suggested counseling to her so many times already. She just doesn't want to do it, yet my wife can't control herself at all when there is money to e spent. When I first met her, we were both in the same financial boat, but over the years, I've fell out of love with consumerism whereas she has not. So when I cap her spending, I feel bad because I can see that DW feels like she's missing out on life. The money in an envelope system is the only solution that actually works for us. And yes, it really gets annoying for me because it is very much like a parent-child relationship. Her mother is exactly the same, she spends every dime that she has on useless status symbols. I think MIL does this because she never went to college and perhaps always felt inferior to her peers because of it.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

And the numbers are in for October:

Income:
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Expenses:
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Monthly Savings Rate: 27.3%

YTD Savings Rate: 51.8%

Months Living Expenses: 44 months


The move has finally happened! We are now chillaxing in our new/old house in PA. This has been a crazy time for the family. The house repairs have been enormously costly, and October only shows a small portion of the total costs. In addition to housing repairs, all major appliances in the house had to be replaced. The tenant trashed everything, the refrigerator, washer, dryer, and range are all busted and had to be replaced. When everything is said and done, I will have spent over 26K dollars to fix this place up, but the deed is done :D

Now that we have moved in, we have to spend several more thousands of dollars to get furniture since our living space has effectively doubled. I am trying my best to get stuff at consignment shops in order to save money. I now have my very own man-cave/workshop while DW has her own art studio!!!! The day job is holding steady, it sux (_|_) but I'm marching onwards. My software side-business earnings are tanking due to neglect, I need to get back onto that bull just as soon as things are settled on the housing front.

In the near term, my numbers are taking a huge hit because of all the housing repairs. Within 6 months, I believe that our family's total monthly spending will drop to around $2,500 per month. This is due to the following major reasons:

1. We no longer have to pay rent or a mortgage. Taxes/insurance on the house is approximately $280/month
2. Childcare costs have now dropped to $500 dollars per month because day care is so much cheaper in PA
3. Auto costs will fall by 50% to $200 a month because insurance/repairs/gas is that much cheaper in PA

As such, I'm anticipating that a minimum state of FI at 4% withdraw rate for my household can be reached by the middle of 2015 if all goes according to plans.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

Here are the numbers for November

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Monthly Savings Rate: -40.8%

YTD Savings Rate: 43.4%

Months Living Expenses: 21 months


And for December:

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Monthly Savings Rate: 62.3%

YTD Savings Rate: 45%

Months Living Expenses: 98 months

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

2013 Retrospective

So 2013 has been a very difficult and rewarding year. We have managed to save 45% of our income and closed out the year with 98 months worth of living expenses. Furthermore, we have managed to relocate the family out of NYC and into a significantly lower cost state.

Challenges along the way

During this year, the single biggest drain on resources was the move out of NYC. It has so far set me back by 26K dollars and I will still need to pay more before I'm entirely done with it. This was a painful move, filled with headaches, heartaches, and backaches.... X(. With that said, I don't think I have it in me to move again for at least another 4-5 years. Uprooting has proved to be THAT difficult. :cry:

There has been quite a few skirmishes this year with my dear wife over her money management issues. At this point in time, I think we've settled back into the cash in an envelope system. All other options that gave her more control over her own money has been very unsatisfactory, with the last attempt this past summer resulting in a negative balance in her checking account and a massive pile of useless consumer goods. That was a huge setback, with many thousands of dollars was squandered in this effort. So now, we are back to square one, and the cash system is the only method that seems to work. :evil:

Dear wife's parents are entering increasingly dire financial straights. As such, we have had to bail them out for the last several months now. I see this becoming a long term trend since they have nothing set aside for their retirement except for the house that my FIL inherited from his parents. This is going to get painful in 2014, I just know it... :|

Strategic Opportunities for 2014

Ideally, if our household budget could be further optimized to take advantage of the lower cost of living at our new locale, then the time to Financial independence will be halved. The thing that I need to do is revisit the budget and cut every shred of excess out of it. One complication here is that DW and I are trying to have another child, this will increase cost, but it's worth it! :D

My day job is increasingly evolving into a Executive role. Now I'm directing many separate development teams and flying out to see client executives on a semi-regular basis. I have a secretary and meals at work are increasingly being catered. It is a possibility that I might get promoted into a Executive level position at some point in 2014. I'll have to wait and see. If that becomes a reality, I think I will use this as a spring board to jump to a CTO level position at some point in the near future.

The core money-makers for my side business (smartphone apps and niche sites) are clearly on the decline. Revenue has been falling for the last 6 months. The good news here is that I'm in the process of re-deploying my efforts towards newer technologies such as Wearable apps and Crypto-currencies. These 2 areas have the potential of massive profits and I'm getting into both in a serious way in 2014.

Finally, I sense a major correction in the market coming soon. I don't have enough facts to back it up, but it's just a very strong feeling. Thus, I've begun to scale back on my financial investments and to hoard cash. If the market tanks in 2014, I will be in a good position to pick out valuable ETFs/REITs/MFs at a bargain.

Nomini
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2013 10:45 am
Location: South UK/abroad

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by Nomini »

Very interesting journal. Impressive turnaround in finances, and a successful year. Congratulations!

I feel for you with the financial issues around your wife and her family. I apologise if I'm speaking out of turn, but it does sound like your wife is being somewhat selfish and you're the only one willing to compromise significantly to make the marriage work. I know it's not really my place to comment, all the more because I have zero experience of marriage, but I do know a lot of marriages break down over money, and it's something I think you need to hammer out whether she likes it or not. You have such strong earning ability that you can still drag the whole family into FI pretty quickly, but it's a matter of principle and the issue will just fester if left unresolved.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

@Nomini, marriage takes a great deal of work and compromise. So it is true that ER is much harder to achieve if you are married and your spouse does not share your goal. But I would trade ER in a heart beat for my family. :)

I find that over time, I'm slowly convincing her of the wisdom of frugality. DW has agreed to move to a much lower cost of living state in exchange for more free time. Moreover, she's agreed to go along with a cash in the envelope budget that restrains her spending to reasonable levels.

Just these 2 changes will go a long way towards getting us to FI very soon. The greater risk at this point is the horrendous financial state of her extended family. It's gotten so bad that I've had to bail out multiple people throughout the past year:

1. My in-laws have no savings and are living mostly on fixed income. My MIL is 72 and still works due to not having a nest egg of any kind. I don't think she will ever retire. I've bailed them out 3 times this year.

2. My MIL's sister, her husband had passed away 10 years ago and 2 of her 3 children either can't or won't work. I've bailed her out once.

3. My MIL's cousin is in the same state as her sister, except she has a grand daughter who can't get full time work. I've bailed her out once.

4. My sister-in-law convinced her husband to get into this scheme building and selling houses. Now they are 1.5 million dollars in debt and the 2 houses they built are not selling at all, and all of their monthly income is going towards servicing their debt. I did not have to bail them out last year, not sure about this year though. :(

jacob
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Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by jacob »

Hmmm it sounds that you're turning from a debt slave into a slave of your extended family; that you could be working for many more years in order to support a group of 7 or 8 relatives who can't or won't take responsibility for their finances. Of course that depends on whether you're fine with that; like how much of a value it is to be responsible for one's family. I know that East and West differ significantly in that regard.

I've bailed family out a couple of times but it was always as a loan (specially I write one large check and then they write 12 or 24 postdated smaller checks which I always cash on a monthly basis) and with the implied understanding that if it wasn't paid back or bounced... well, let's just say I would hold a grudge for a long time and it would never happen again.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

January of 2014 has come and gone. Here are the numbers:


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Monthly Savings Rate: 27.5%

YTD Savings Rate: 27.5%

Months Living Expenses: 54 months


January was a tough month. My software side business income has hit a new low. Also there were various house repair costs for our home. The water heater was damaged by the prior tenant and had to be replaced. there were also some electrical problems that required fixing. Furthermore, this was another month of family bailouts. :evil:

But things aren't all doom and gloom. The day job is going very well indeed, I appear to be getting some more executive perks like a limo service card. I believe the chance for getting promoted this year is very high. Also, my DW spent January looking for a new job near our new Home.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

Here are the numbers for Feb 2014:

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Monthly Savings Rate: 28.5%

YTD Savings Rate: 27.9%

Months Living Expenses: 58 months



The Good:
The 2nd month of year coincided with the launch of a new mobile app for my software side business. Revenue from that income stream is now beginning to come back up. I still need to do some more work on my niche web sites, but it looks like adsense earnings are also on the rise. It looks like house maintenance costs are finally going down now. All the major repairs are behind us at this point, and our home has become a pretty decent place to live in. Also, since this brutal winter is finally ending, I'm getting ready for Gardening season, I will have 400 square feet of land to cultivate this year, which is double what I had in New York.

My DW has landed a part time gig giving therapy to children with special needs. It's a 10 minute drive from our house, so we should begin to see some income from that in March.

The Bad:
DW's family needed a massive bailout AGAIN in February, both MIL and SIL needed money for different reasons. MIL because she's broke, SIL needed it because she threw a massive baby shower and her husband doesn't have the money to cover it all. I am getting really frustrated with forking over such large amounts of cash every month. :(

The Ugly:
The evil automobile has reared it's head again. This time with the radiator and the brakes. So I had to spend more than $1000 to repair that. Then I had to pay another $400 for auto insurance for 6 months...arrrrgh X(

Ricky
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:17 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by Ricky »

Man! You really should keep your income a secret from your in-laws - else they will likely always expect help. Doesn't MIL draw SSI? Or FIL for that matter?

I'm surprised you retain your motivation given how much of your money goes towards things that don't directly benefit you. That would eat me alive!

Barlotti
Posts: 172
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 7:58 am

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by Barlotti »

How did your in laws handle their financial problems before you came on the scene?

I wish your in laws would give you and your wife more space. Does it occur to them that their financial neediness might be creating stress in your family?

llorona
Posts: 444
Joined: Sun Sep 23, 2012 11:44 pm
Location: SF Bay Area

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by llorona »

Obviously it's your call as to what determines the need for a bailout. But a baby shower? Really?

tommytebco
Posts: 257
Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2012 4:48 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by tommytebco »

When we have saved a "pile" it is natural to brag a bit. Natural, but not wise.

It might be better to continue to live frugal and talk about that, only vaguely referring to "investments" which are for retirement.

A large segment of "us" feels the rich should share. This thinking gets perverted into situations like yours.

Chad
Posts: 3844
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:10 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by Chad »

I'm finally catching up with your journal. Very impressive. I feel like I have been slacking comparatively. Good luck with the extended family. I'm not sure I could be as generous as you.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

@Ricky, they both do, however they have no savings to speak off. So every time they overspend, it either goes on the credit card or somehow it falls on my shoulders.

@Barlotti, my in-laws basically got a house free of charge and a large inheritance when my wife's grandfather passed away. So (much like my dw and myself 5 years ago) I don't think they have ever had to develop strong money management skills. The problem now however is that they are old, the inheritance has been frittered away and they still need money. What is happening now is that myself and my dw's sister's husband have been paying for the extras :(

@llorona, yeah I was pretty pissed off about that. But I'm currently developing some countering strategies that will be executed in the coming months. The trick is to stop/reduce the bailouts without visibly offending anyone.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

@tommytebco, I never talk about it. I think DW has been bragging to her family about our situation. The bail outs are annoying but it keeps the peace in the household.

@Chad, thanks for checking in. The extended family situation is very annoying but ultimately I think it can be efficiently contained. The key, imho, is patience.

WorkingWageWealth
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:47 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by WorkingWageWealth »

I continued to be inspired.

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

Here are the numbers for March:

Income:
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Expenses:
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Monthly Savings Rate: 32.5%

YTD Savings Rate: 29.4%

Months Living Expenses: 60 months

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

Here are the numbers for April:

Income:
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Expenses:
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Monthly Savings Rate: 36.8%

YTD Savings Rate: 31.25%

Months Living Expenses: 82.5 months

DebtSlaveNoMore
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:27 pm

Re: DebtSlaveNoMore's Journal

Post by DebtSlaveNoMore »

@cimorene12, this really is a tricky situation. I have for the time being found a very effective strategy at keeping these bail outs under control. I just publicly talk about how glad I am to help out my relatives in from of them and other relatives. This has worked out really well, because:

a. Nobody can say anything bad about me, since I AM helping out multiple people monetarily.
b. My wife looks good in the eyes of her family.
c. My in-laws and other relatives are feeling embarrassed so their demands for money gets toned down quite a bit.

I'm not sure how long this tactic will last, but so far so good.

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