Loutfard's journal

[7Wannabe5]

I wouldn't be surprised if she'd start to apply similar positive patterns in other, unrelated areas!

Yes, functional relationships tend towards maintaining equilibrium in a manner that isn't just tit-for-tat. An interesting study I once read indicated that on average relationships can only withstand around three months of extreme disequilibrium before starting to come apart. The odd thing is that it is frequently the lower functioning partner who ends the relationship due to the stress of disequilibrium.

Your comment caused me to consider whether somebody might be motivated towards becoming more frugal if/when their more frugal partner became more fit. That's a tough one to calculate/empath. In the benighted innocence of my youth, I believed that "being frugal" was one of the hallmarks of "being a good wife" and couldn't understand why I didn't get more appreciation for my efforts. Pretty much akin to the not-so-positive feedback you received for losing weight, but widely swinging with the extent to which one's partner positively or negatively identifies as an Earner/Provider. It finally clicked with me when I was describing the relationship between my spendthrift mother and frugal father to a BF, and he laughed and said "She just wanted the kind of man who would say, 'It's Friday night, baby. Put that new red dress on, we're going to town.'"

[zbigi]

Speaking of burpees, is anyone doing them while living in an apartment? Any particular tips on how to not annoy the neighbors?

[loutfard]

Your comment caused me to consider whether somebody might be motivated towards becoming more frugal if/when their more frugal partner became more fit. That's a tough one to calculate/empath. In the benighted innocence of my youth, I believed that "being frugal" was one of the hallmarks of "being a good wife" and couldn't understand why I didn't get more appreciation for my efforts. Pretty much akin to the not-so-positive feedback you received for losing weight, but widely swinging with the extent to which one's partner positively or negatively identifies as an Earner/Provider.

I don't see a direct link from my increased fitness experiment to my wife's frugality. I do see it increasing serendipity towards frugality.

I slowly, but constantly improve my reading my partner. It's the positive low slope improvement of someone who suspects traces of high functioning autism spectrum in his brain. I see options to implement more of her desires in line with my ERE goals and spring into action. She recognises and appreciates this. Her trust in me increases. That just happened an hour ago with me telling me about my first burpees experiment.

It finally clicked with me when I was describing the relationship between my spendthrift mother and frugal father to a BF, and he laughed and said "She just wanted the kind of man who would say, 'It's Friday night, baby. Put that new red dress on, we're going to town.'"

You made me chuckle. Younger me would not have understood this. Current me bought my wife a horribly expensive box of chocolates on her birthday.

My wife might not be frugal compared to me, but she is compared to many. She enjoys the eternal surprise of what we'll find in our food waste app surprise bag, or shopping for second hand clothes. We've used a car twice in the last seven months. Etcetera.

She's also assimilating FIRE and ERE concepts not so slowly. Less than ten years ago, her situation did not allow her to think much beyond the current day. Now we are looking at five to ten years in the future. A shared plan is hatching. It looks like we're inching towards living at our summer house for the warmer half of the year and somewhere warmer for the cold half of the year.

[jacob]

Speaking of burpees, is anyone doing them while living in an apartment? Any particular tips on how to not annoy the neighbors?

Huh? Be more cat-like, less elephant-like. Land softly. At most you'll annoy [your neighbors] for a couple of minutes. It's not like you're doing step aerobics for an hour.

[loutfard]

Speaking of burpees, is anyone doing them while living in an apartment? Any particular tips on how to not annoy the neighbors?

What Jacob said, plus maybe discussing this with the downstairs neighbours could help, or practicing in the basement, or a garage, or somewhere outside the apartment bulding?

[mathiverse]

Speaking of burpees, is anyone doing them while living in an apartment? Any particular tips on how to not annoy the neighbors?

Another alternative to jumping burpees is to take a weight from the floor to overhead rather than doing the push up and jumping. Here is a video of one way to do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHIOqfp8O5E. I like to squat as far down as possible at the bottom rather than the half squat in the video, but you can do what you prefer. If you don't already have weights of some kind or have a way to get some for cheap/free, then just fill containers you can hold in your hands with sand, dirt, or water to the appropriate weight. You only progress the weight every few months in this exercise, so you don't have to recreate and weigh them very frequently.

[jacob]

What Jacob said, plus maybe discussing this with the downstairs neighbours could help, or practicing in the basement, or a garage, or somewhere outside the apartment bulding?

Or just considering the hour of the day. Back when we lived at the [vintage=squeaky floorboard] apartment we had an upstage neighbor... a 100 pound elephant walking around in heels figuring that marching and stomping in place while brushing her teeth at 600am in the morning was good exercise. ARGH!!

Proper and consistent timing makes a big difference. If noise making is predicable, considerate, and short-lived, neighbors will be much more tolerant. I was doing woodworking in our apartment, but I always made a point of not hammering away after 8pm sharp. Never had any complaints. In contrast, some neighbors thought at midnight was an okay time to start banging on the walls to put up pictures.

[zbigi]

Thanks for suggestions.

It's not that easy to be cat-like while weighting 95 kg (I guess tigers are gracious even at 300 kg, but humans aren't tigers .

I think my downstairs neighbor is working 7-to-3 during the week, I can fit the excercise then.

I have a lingering, chronic shoulder and Achilles tendon injuries, will give burpees a shot on Monday and see if they flare up.

[guitarplayer]

Or go outside if there’s a suitable place. I’ve been doing burpees in most unusual of places and people never mind, I get some cheers and a homeless person once tried to hug me (half managed, I tried to be polite, but it was in covid times so yes some additional risk might be involved).

Otherwise, in apartment blocks in Poland usually there are basements?

[jacob]

Also, if unable to go outside, see @mathiverse's clean&press for another full body solution. There are many versions including using bands. You can even do the burpee with dumbells for extra oomph. It might not even be louder presuming you don't crash the weights.

[sodatrain]

Just read your journal... following along! Shaking my head a little as I'm contemplating the burpee plan.... I'm too fat. And I like IF. Just need to do it more. When I was at EREFest 23, it was really interesting to see everyone be fit and or lean, and be the sole fat guy.

[loutfard]

I might just have scored us a very convenient recurring free vegetarian lunch and/or dinner.

I bumped into the lady managing student lunches at the school round the corner. I've volunteered there for years. She likes me. The subject turns to the school lunches.
- "So much food going to waste, especially the vegetarian meals."
- "Oh, how come?"
- "City subsidies gone wrong. We've tried to fix it, but it doesn't seem to register. We could feed twenty people with the leftovers, every single school day!"
- "What happens with the food?"
- "It goes into the bin. Perfectly good food. A crying shame. I tried to offer it to the school staff, but with only so many vegetarians... My heart aches when I have to throw out all this good food."
- "My wife and I are vegetarians. And we hate to see food go to waste as much as you do."
- "Drop off empty boxes at the lunch room in the morning. Bring as many as you want. They''ll be full and in this fridge in the evening."

[ertyu]

Nice. Good work putting social capital to use!

[sodatrain]

Wow, that's fantastic! Congratulations.

[loutfard]

Just got a phone call regarding my first job application in many many years. My writing skills are still sharp enough to at least beat the first HR sieve it seems. If the HR responsible is to believed, eight candidates including me made it through the first screening. By default, I'd call bullshit on anything HR says. Only this company is full of down-to-earth honest low bullshit people. Even their HR responsible very much sounds like he's speaking out of a different orifice than the usual HR person.

A virtual interview on Friday will sieve out three candidates for a physical interview. I'm not the best at talking myself past HR gatekeepers, but not the worst either. We'll see how that goes.

[guitarplayer]

Fingers crossed, no worries if it falls through.

[loutfard]

Certainly not the worst interview experience. I wouldn't be surprised if I got to the next round. It's up to them now...

[delay]

Best wishes for a positive outcome!

[candide]

Good luck loutfard.

[loutfard]

They picked a different candidate. I got surprisingly candid feedback:
- "You seemed nervous during the interview."
- "You had difficulties answering our questions in a straightforward way."
- "We really appreciated your broad technical basis."
- "We were impressed with your technical skills."
- "We think you are looking in the right area and have the right ambition."
- "We were incredibly impressed with your cultural fit with the company."

I can't imagine any rational reason for them to try and word this as positively as they did.

Looking back, this has been good for building experience interviewing.