Lemur Journal!

[Lemur]

I was improving until I wasn't. Flared up again around March 5 ish...real bad. To point of once again having a straight week or so of only getting 2-3 hours of sleep, being a zombie, can't stand up straight with large bump on my lumbar spine, begging for mercy as I'm in fetal position with sciatica. Fortunately this time around, I'm recovering much quicker from this flare-up.

Indeed, and fascinated by some strange enlightenment , I came to recognize this flare up as a blessing in disguise because by luck this lead me to deep dive my issue a bit more and I ended up discovering something called the biopsychosocial model of pain management. "The biopsychosocial approach describes pain and disability as a multidimensional, dynamic integration among physiological, psychological, and social factors that reciprocally influence one another."

Mostly I've been reading a lot of articles and watching videos and podcast interviews with Greg Lehman and Peter O'Sullivan. This is a pamphlet from Greg titled "Recovery Strategies - Pain Guidebook" https://static1.squarespace.com/static/ ... 202017.pdf . Peter has a podcast and Greg has a really nice set of YouTube videos that dispel all sorts of myths regarding spinal pain and recovering from those injuries. (example: https://youtu.be/tolxdFQ35j8?si=GfvKvFXZ5Gvk2a3e). Also started physical therapy finally - which helps.

Big concepts I've learned regarding herniated discs and recovery strategies in general ...

• Spinal discs do adapt and respond from loads and movement. They're not fragile. Flexion, Extension, and sideways bending should not be avoided.
• Unless you've a spinal tumor or a fracture - back pain is rarely serious even if it feels like it is. In fact, all else being equal, more pain does not necessarily mean more biological tissue damage. Pain is very subjective.
• Indeed many people can have herniated discs and bulging discs show up on an MRI and experience no pain symptoms whatsoever.
• People with back pain do not suffer from spinal instability. In fact, and contrary to popular opinion, people with chronic back pain actually have overactive responsiveness to their injuries and are actually overly stiff and stable and need to loosen up through movement.
• It is okay to experience pain during recovery. In fact, pain is almost necessary for gauging response. "Working into pain" can help desensitize nerves. Some level of pain acceptance goes a long way towards recovery.
• Poking the bear means to slowly adapt to uncomfortable positions and movements through graded exposure (aka progressive overload in the weightlifting world). For example, suppose squatting hurts your right knee. How to recover? Drop the weight and do bodyweight squats. No Pain? Add 5 pounds. Continue on and use pain as a gauge. A little bit of pain is okay. The body responds to stress and loads!
• Flareups are actually normal and part of the recovery process. They happen when you "poke the bear" and accidently get mauled. Practice helps you find the right balance. The worst thing you can do is adopt fear/pain avoidance behaviors and do nothing*.
• Doing Nothing* is only required in very acute stages of an injury. Afterwards, its almost always better to get more active and return to your life's activities - yes even if they hurt a little.
• When dealing with chronic pain, ask yourself what other factors might be at play then just the injury. Are you getting enough sleep? What life stressors are you dealing with? Are you avoiding activities due to fear of pain? Are there different ways you can frame your injury?
• Sleep is underrated and necessary for recovery from a biological and psychological perspective... Drop caffeine sources before noon and get on a stable sleep schedule. Nothing wrong with taking pills if you've absolutely must in the interim (I started taking Unisom and its a godsend). Akin to getting back on track from jetlag.

This is a quote I came across from Nassim Taleb (famous for his love of deadlifting)

“I once procrastinated and kept delaying a spinal cord operation as a response to a back injury—and was completely cured of the back problem after a hiking vacation in the Alps, followed by weight-lifting sessions. These psychologists and economists want me to kill my naturalistic instinct (the inner b****t detector) that allowed me to delay the elective operation and minimize the risks—an insult to the antifragility of our bodies.” ― Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder

Months ago I would've said this was ignorant but I'm finding a lot of wisdom from Taleb's approach to dealing with pain. I've spent many years avoiding sitting too much and avoiding flexion/bending my spine and I've been overly cautious with my back all this time - all sorts of psychological responses that stem from my initial injury in 2011 (that I regrettably had surgery on). Spent years exercising and keeping active but also avoided "aggravaing my back." This added up. Fortunately - I am 100% positive this can be reversed and I can adapt. My body is not fragile.

Pragmatically all this to say fu*k my back problems. A few days ago I started daily cardio sessions on an elliptical and mixed it up with sprints on the machine. I went for a jog yesterday too. It hurt a bit and I hobbled and I had to mix it up with walking. I have not gone for a run in months (since November I believe before my back gave out). Slept like a baby though last night and woke up this morning feeling better and more determined then ever. Will go swimming this weekend. The sciatic pain in my right leg has died down immensely and this flareup is basically almost over in about 10 days where the previous flareup took just over 2 months.

As always a disclaimer that I am not a medical professional. Neither is Taleb.

[delay]

Thanks for your journal update. That matches well with my experience. I've come to think of pain as my body talking to me. It can tell me where my limits are, that a bodypart is being changed or repaired, the maximum amount of alcohol has been reached, and so on.

Congratulations on your jog and best of luck with your health!

[ertyu]

Recently I too have had occasion to be grateful for the wealth of resources on youtube. It takes some finding - most content producers are either chiro influencers or gym bros branching out in search of topics for the content mill, and there's a lot of crap content out there. But there are also actual qualified physical therapists and sports medicine profs sharing truly great content, e.g. the guy responsible for the PT of the belgian olympic team has an excellent channel. I also recommend boomertube: Bob and Brad's content is quaint but solid. Greg Lehman sounds interesting, I'll be checking him out. Thanks

[Lemur]

First time reading of this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocebo

A nocebo effect is said to occur when negative expectations of the patient regarding a treatment cause the treatment to have a more negative effect than it otherwise would have.

Basically its the opposite of a placebo effect. So if one has the attitude that physical therapy, exercise, and movement is just going to exacerbate their pain rather then help aid in the healing process, then well...they will reap that thought.

The deep dive on the biopsychosocial model of pain management continues. Happy to say I'm 99% pain free and sleeping good . Everyday is an increase in flexibility, mobility, and strength. Also dropped some bodyfat and weighed under 180lbs again at 179lbs so even starting to lean up.

Spouse and I also planned our 10 year anniversary to spend a week in Puerto Rico this summer. We wanted to create a novel and memorable experience. I wouldn't be where I am today without her. My spouse is truly my second half.

[AxelHeyst]

Super glad to hear the pain management is going well! I wonder if you've read the book "You Are the Placebo" by Dispenza, and what your opinion is if so.
Enjoy Puerto Rico!

[Lemur]

Hey Axel - I haven't read anything about Joe Dispenza but he seems like an interesting character from a quick Google search. I gotta say I was a bit skeptical when I came across this quip:

Dr. Joe Dispenza believes that many of us are living in a state of constant anxiety. The fight-or-flight responses that evolution has hard-wired into our brains cause us to be constantly on alert — and that negative mode of thinking triggers genes that can cause all kinds of problems from panic attacks to cancer. But if we learn how to change our thoughts, the mind can heal the body. It happens all the time — it’s called “spontaneous remission,” and even people with stage 4 cancer can be totally cured.

Immediate thought - meh. But then a quick Google search on that: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8271173/ . I also came across an idea that stress itself might even be associated with autoimmune diseases and rheumatoid arthritis. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/aut ... 8071114230

We learn something everyday don't we? I had zero idea that spontaneous recovery of stage 4 cancer was a documented phenomenon lol. That is awesome! I think it goes to show I still very much live in a materialist/rationalist mind though. I'm always a bit skeptical when it comes to the spiritual/meditation stuff though (that is the sense I get from Dispenza but I'd actually have to read one of his books to get a better idea of what he is really preaching) but I do believe in a two-way street that the mind influences the body and the body influences the mind. Some see these as separate but I think they're very much connected.

I can relate to these ideas though. On my walk today I was thinking about what analogy I could use to describe chronic pain. Especially the kind I've dealt with. I liken it to a check engine light on a car. Despite its annoyance, that check engine light serves a very important purpose. To alert us that something needs fixing. Many people would respond accurately: "Okay well, just need to change the oil or get a code scan" and move on with there lives. Some might even ignore and just wait for the light to go out. Others will run into a problem - despite various treatments the light stays on. Anxiety builds...something is wrong. Anxiety about anxiety is even a thing for some people. Kind of like when you can't fall asleep and you start to get more anxious because you know your losing sleeping before that damn alarm clock.

The patient spends months, perhaps even many years, not being able to shut off the check engine light. They convince themselves they're forever broken. More drastic measures are taken to resolve the issue - guess we need to replace the entire part or even the whole engine. What was completely missed this entire time was not realizing its possible that nothing is really wrong at all.

It was just the sensor this whole time that needs fixing. Our brains are the same way when it comes to chronic pain. Structures and nerves can sometimes become oversensitive after the acute phase of an injury has long past and small movements and exercise trigger an overactive response. The patient comes to believe that this pain is always a bad thing and forgets that this pain actually serves a useful purpose.

Our minds are certainly powerful constructs. I think if I wasn't open to the idea that psychology plays a large role in pain management, I would still be in a bad state right now. I reframed the way I think about pain and not that long ago I came up with this idea that tons of cardio through walking, elliptical, and stationary bike can desensitize the nerves. I wanted to send my brain data that it is okay to move - nothing is wrong and the these structures and nerves will respond to graded stress and load. The cure was to fix the sensor. Today I have no pain whatsoever.

[Lemur]

New Concept I learned recently:
Wittgenstein’s Ruler: https://coffeeandjunk.com/wittgensteins-ruler/

Also a neat proverb I came across in Spiral Dynamics book:

No more prizes for forecasting rain; only prizes for building an ark.

Lastly, speaking of SD, if you want to watch a really awesome Red/purple show then check out Shogun (2024). Haven't read the novel. I had an anime nerd run back in 2011-2012 so Japan related things will catch my ears occasionally lol (I still check in on Berserk). But that show is great all-around...the English protagonist is more Blue/red so he quite often finds himself shocked by the rituals & customs of the Japanese Lords and their subjects.

Lastly, despite the excitement in the market, I've managed to stay out of the FOMO. No touching of stocks / options for I think over a month now. Maybe longer. It has been nice to sit back and see all the dividends come in from just dividend etfs, value etfs, treasuries, etc. from the various accounts. Its not as exciting, but it feels much more robust then leveraging and has allowed me to to think and do other things then check the market constantly.

[Lemur]

March 31 ,2024

Net-worth:
$873k (Up $43k)

Finances: Insanity to see our portfolio making these month to month increases. Seems unsustainable lol.

Spending/SWR: Another spendy month $3,483.77 due to our planned trip this summer for plane tickets, Air BnB, and rented car. Annualized and divided by current net-worth gives a SWR is 4.79%. Not bad at all considering. The hard part is done. No more grind...finally living a little bit on the fruits of our labor & savings.

Health: It is like getting out of debt and then actually building wealth. I'm finally completely out of back and leg pain and I'm fully back to building up my strength & cardio. Still doing PT. Neurology appointment canceled. I also dropped a significant amount of body fat from 185lbs to 176lbs as of this morning. . Extra motivated for the upcoming vacation so Spouse and I are both leaning up. My preferred method is simple: Track Calories < 2000 daily, tons of walking (10K+ steps daily), strength train 3x a week, and get at least 100 grams of protein. That is it. Consistency and good sleep is key. Going to bed a little hungry is a good sign that everything is working just as intended.

Learning / Reading: Still reading through Spiral Dynamics but haven't done much in this department outside of that. My focus has been getting my health back on track.

Job: Now off probation and I'm a full-time permanent Gov't employee. Just makes it more difficult to fire me now. Original plan was 5 years to hit pension. Have 3 years to go. Not sure if I can make it the full 5 years tbh. 33 year old Lemur is ready to retire to pursue dreams of living in foreign country, seeing other foreign countries, and having all the time in the world to do whatever with no more alarm clocks. Ironically, don't even need to hit those years. I worked out some math where if I pull out the retirement contributions to the pension plan, rollover to an IRA, and then expect 7% growth until 62; I actually have a good shot of coming out ahead (4% rule on that ending balance > pension plan payments).

Will get Spouse on board one of these days but again my job is easy and is a money faucet and her business is thriving. Mrs.Lemur says lets get to 1.35m first. My Spouse likes the idea that $4,000 a month can cover living expenses and $150k can cover the future home. They're well rounded numbers though...a bit arbitrary I think but Mr. Lemur thinks goal posts just gonna keep moving. Definitely not worth a serious argument anyways (I have always considered this a true first world problem) but I'm hoping I can start getting some better traction in the early retirement discussions. There is also the matter of considering what is best for our 8 year old. Its a complex topic actually and I think its easy to fall back on just keep doing what we're doing because nothing is broken. With the way our net-worth keeps growing like a weed, it might not even be a problem at all.

I've considered the word "retired" is a scary word for my Spouse. I may consider reframing to something else. I'm also open to the idea of building some sort of side income stream to alleviate some of the scariness. Maybe a YouTube channel dedicated to teaching a programming language? Idk. I never have the energy for that sort of thing. Part laziness, part why bother. Tbh, I am not 100% sure if I am ready either.

[Lemur]

May 1, 2024

Net-worth:
$857k (Down $16k)

Finances: I cannot remember the last month where our net-worth did not see an increase. Weirdly, it felt somewhat relieving to see a bit of a break. Maybe some consolidation and slowdown in the market.

Spending/SWR: $2701.83 for the month. Over the $2500 monthly goal due to some aquarium parts but also a bit spendy on food. Annualized, this represents a 3.78% SWR for the month based on current net-worth. It would be a nice goal and stat if we can get under 3%. This would entail us getting spending between $2000-$2100.

Health: No changes to weight but did re-comp a bit (put on a little muscle, dropped a little fat) around 177lbs. I started a powerlifting routine which has been working really great. Specifically a program Jim Wendler's 5/3/1.

Learning / Reading: Still reading through Spiral Dynamics because I am the world's slowest reader, but I did speed run the Tao Te Ching which I found incredibly peaceful, calming. There seems to be this overarching theme of non-dualism, centeredness, inaction, and softness. Of the 81 chapters, it is difficult to pick out a favorite one I think because different chapters may resonate at different points of a person's life conditions. https://terebess.hu/english/tao/mitchell.html . This is a work I will definitely come back to and read at occasional times to ponder. Chapter 13 in particular has held me perplexed.

Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.

What does it mean that success is a dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder or down it,
you position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground,
you will always keep your balance.

What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear?
Hope and fear are both phantoms
that arise from thinking of the self.
When we don't see the self as self,
what do we have to fear?

See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the world as your self;
then you can care for all things.

Lastly, I found this interesting article titled "A New Hedonism: A Post-Consumerism Vision"
https://thenextsystem.org/learn/stories ... ism-vision

Job: What can I say other then boring though I did find some value in a programming course I am currently taking. That should help kill some time and prepare for future changes in the job itself. Still need to do second annual review. No mention of RTO yet.

Other thoughts: I have not put much thought into future plans or anything like that. Just looking forward to a vacation and work-break in June but otherwise taking life day by day with the 3 little ones. I am teaching my 8 year old Son some basic algebra which is cool to see him picking it up so quickly. I can't remember what age it was that the schools teach this subject...but I've quickly learned that kids learn rather fast with one on one instruction.

[ertyu]

Good article. "The hedonist deprivation of consumer culture" is my main take-away. Consumerism is conventionally touted as a way to satisfy our hedonism; when people speak of being frugal, etc., an undercurrent is often that hedonism is misguided and needs to be somehow overcome. The book The Frugal Hedonist and to an extent the ERE blog/book argue that, "you can so be frugal and be a hedonist!" and "you can sometimes get more hedonic satisfaction by buying quality and maintaining, or by making it yourself of higher quality," both of which come down to, going frugal doesn't have to mean sacrificing hedonic satisfaction. To explicitly have it framed as, not only is not consumer culture a way to satisfy your hedonism, consumer culture actively deprives you, yes you heard that right, it leads to hedonic deprivation, is nice.

[Lemur]

@ertyu +1. That was my takeaway as well but couldn't express it in a post.

June 1, 2024

Net-worth:
$891k (Up $34k)

Finances: Inching closer to another $100k milestone.

Spending/SWR: Spending came in at $2,544.76 for the month of May. Only $44.76 above goal. Annualized at $30,537.12, this represents a 3.43% SWR for the month based on current net-worth. Like I posted last month, it would be a nice goal and stat if we can get under 3%. This would entail us getting spending between the $2000-$2100 range.

My current phone bill is $58.25 a month...I'm lazy but I'm pretty sure I can cut this one down. My Spouse is saying for what I'm paying there are definitely plans to get this down to $25-$30 or so a month. It ain't much but a slash in spending is a slash in spending. I also looked at our food budget. $235 towards unnecessary food purchases (things outside of grocery stores) like convenience stores (guilty), restaurants, takeout, order out, etc. I think the approach I've taken to cutting this down has been wrong all along. Regarding the article above I posted last month, instead of sacrificing these purchases and instead of preaching to cut these items, ask ourselves what can we can gain from not spending? Want Pizza? Lets learn how to make pizza instead...stuff like that.

Its one of those human psychology things when you try to not have something, it makes you want that thing more. Need to reframe these behaviors. We used to have our food budget much lower years ago...got complacent due to salary/net-worth.

But the revelation for me is building new habits because if we want to retire extremely early, then we need to practice these skills now. And if we're looking at a 60+ year retirement, then its gotta be SWR <3%. Learning to live more frugally is the quickest way to do that. Or all else fails bring net-worth up to $1.5m or so *shrugs*. Either way. (ETA: Ideally both).

And lastly, yeah this journal is 6+ years old now and we still suck at this category. Just goes to show how hard it is to crack certain behaviors...you gotta really want it.

Health: I'm putting on a ridiculous amount of muscle and gained 7 or so pounds. Up to 185lbs. Powerlifting program is working great. Can't believe I can now squat (added back in! ) without pain and do back extensions with a 25 pound weight. Incline bench pressing my bodyweight ... and can do 15 pull-ups in a row. I feel like a machine lol. I need to get back into cardio though - haven't been doing that.

Learning / Reading: I started reading "The Laws of Human Nature" by Robert Greene. I also have almost finished a basic course in Python and looking into taking advanced/specialization courses. I took my time...did one week's worth of lessons and one chapter of a textbook each week and I'm finding myself having fun again with coding. Something I've grown to sort of hate (strong word) over the years.

Job: Our agency is suffering great from RTO policies from people leaving and critical skill gaps now causing mission issues...and there is now rumblings that we might revert back to full-time telework across the board officially. It hasn't had a big effect on our team anyway (our Boss is risking himself and letting us work max telework anyway and basically shunning the policy - he's awesome lol) but I'm interested in this development. Annual performance review this year - got a better score then last year. So might even get a bonus this month or next.

Other thoughts: Taking a vacation this month for about 11 days. Family is pretty excited to see Puerto Rico. First family vacation in 4 years or so...unless we count the random summer trips but I'm looking forward to it myself as well. I want us to get some things out of our system and we have enough money set aside for this trip that we don't need to scrooge it.

[delay]

Fifteen pullups in a row is awesome, congratulations! RTO means Return To Office?

"Skill gaps causing mission issues" sounds like symptoms of a aging company. So far, I've only seen companies become less skilled internally, until they either die or become all marketing + financial + legal. One classic fable is How Software Companies Die. The process can take a long time. I've learned to avoid rowing against this law of nature.

[Lemur]

@delay

Yep. RTO = Return to office. And I work as a public employee. In my field, hard to attract my type because private industry salaries are much better and the government can’t budget for that. However, they can offer better benefits like Remote/Telework or more PTO to make up for it. But they pushed back on that one great benefit due to political reasons I’m sure…so I am not surprised with the attrition.

[2Birds1Stone]

d00d, 15 pullups in a row IS cardio!

That's some serious progress in the exercise/health department. What is your diet like on this phase of gaining muscle?

With regards to the $$$ stuff, why do you extrapolate an individual month and annualize it to track SWR? Why not use the actual rolling 12 months of expenses? It provides more smoothing and accuracy IMHO.

On the cell phone, I have been with Mint Mobile for a few years now and can't say enough good things. Depending on your data needs you could be looking at anywhere from ~$20-35/month all in with taxes and fees.

[Lemur]

@2Birds1Stone

What-up fellow ERE forum Veteran!

Regarding diet - Get my protein (120-130 grams which isn't hard to deal) and generally eat to hearts desire lol. I let loose last month...I was addicted to the gains but tbh, I want to clean that up a bit going forward. Regardless of bf%, I like keep BMI below 25 and ideally in a lower range so I gotta tighten up again. We will see how that goes. I kind of like feeling like a bear for once. The sacrifice is my top abs disappeared. Doubtful all that weight gain was clean weight.

Regarding $$$ - I don't know why I do that. I think I just like to track things month by month out of habit. And I think for 2 years or so here I've kept my journal at a strict monthly update cadence. Interestingly, I did look at what my total spending was last year and it was $31,294.72 which averages to about $2,607.89 a month. Sounds about right since we generally fall into the $2500-$3000 each month.

While I don't think we have made much progress on getting spending down (data don't lie)...tracking and keeping the topic in our thoughts has kept us from going up so lifestyle creep has been in check I think. Its like a thermostat.

Thanks for the suggestion - I will look into Mint Mobile!

[Western Red Cedar]

Wow, it is astonishing to read how quickly you progressed with your health after being completely debilitated a few months ago. Well done. Feel free to elaborate a bit more on that if you are comfortable. It sounded really bad, so I'm surprised how quickly things improved.

On the financial front, have you modeled or projected potential SS or pension income? Once I started looking more realistically at those numbers, I was less worried about hitting a 3% SWR. It sounds like things are generally good at work at home, so I wouldn't necessarily encourage you to jump ship immediately, but I am guessing you are probably pretty close to FI already.

[Lemur]

@Western Red Cedar

Oh I'll elaborate for sure because I think this may be useful for anyone that comes across it:

I am surprised myself sometimes because I've had dealt with sciatica since 2011 when I was initially injured, and I've dealt with multiple flare-ups and disc re-herniations since then (at least 3 that I am aware of), some of which were extremely bad to the point of bed-ridden and needing strong meds. But seemingly over a few weeks, I recovered to 100% after going to physical therapy and discovering the biopsychosocial model of pain management / cognitive functional therapies. I think a combination of these strategies fixed my back. I definitely credit Peter O' Sullivan and Greg Lehman to these ideas. These past few months have been the first time I've been completely free from sciatica which I dealt with or over a decade.

I think a few pages back I went into greater detail but speaking from experience, I think one needs to open their mind to the possibility that back pain is part psychological. Its hard to fully describe, but the best way I can put it is that often we make a dichotomy between physical pain and psychological pain, but the deeper you dive into this topic you come to realize that these are more linked together then you might initially assume. Physical pain drives psychological issues and vice versa! Sort of how like our thoughts can drive certain actions, but its almost never realized that our actions can also drive our thoughts. Of course if one is in a lot of physical pain, and someone tells them to consider that a big part of it is psychological / subjective, they might get angry or feel like their issues are being discarded. It then becomes hard to open up your mind to these different possibilities such as using mental therapy strategies to help treat the pain... because this physical pain feels very real - that is because it is to the person who is suffering.

Practically what do this mean now? So I think about back pain quite a bit differently now. I don't obsess on it like I used to. In meditation, you know how you see a thought like it is blowing in the wind? And you just acknowledge it and let it go? I do that with back pain now from a mental standpoint. Occasionally I wake up a bit early in the morning with a stiff back. I used to think and act on this: I would cut back on my workouts, make sure to walk stiff like a robot so I don't "blow out my back", sit up very straight in chairs, become very careful when picking up things from the floor, use heat/ice etc. Now my conditioning is different from the things I've learned - instead I get to walking, drink water, and then ask myself if my sleep quality good? Is there anything from a social/stress standpoint I need to resolve? Am I trying to physically guard against old habits? I used to be really guarded against any form of flexion because I was lead to believe that this creates stress on the back. But contrary to popular belief, those with back pain don't have "instability" and a "weak core" ; if anything they've an overactive core and are really tight from protective behaviors which actually cause a lot of stress and inflammation around the discs and nerve roots...these structures are meant to bend forward, backward, side to side, and to move freely.

In a final thought, it is important to recognize pain, back pain especially, is a multi-factorial problem. The biopsychosocial model of pain management recognizes that there are complex interactions between biological, psychological, and social factors that influence how much pain someone can feel.

On the financial front, have you modeled or projected potential SS or pension income?

Yep...I've used the Rich, Broke or Dead calculator multiple times: https://engaging-data.com/will-money-last-retire-early/ and even using what I consider very conservative numbers and a risk-adverse stock/bond ratio, I always come out with 100% success rates in multiple scenarios.

I've considered myself FI for a bit now. Just not RE of course. The whole freedom-to thing is part of it I think but also getting everyone else on board. I'd be lying if I said the idea of jumping ship doesn't scare me a little as well. An anxious feeling but also an exciting one.

Maybe I'll elaborate further on this in a future post but its hard to make a change when my life is very stable, I don't hate my job, and just the act of me sticking to a job and staying where I am at is providing a lot of stability to those around me (me leaving puts my Sister in a bind with my brother and 2 young kids here...). Kind of a guardian mentality that I've always had to some extent. I have let my family know we don't plan on sticking around forever.

I'd like to get my Spouse fully on-board with RE but its a tough nut to crack. In hindsight, FIRE was a easy convincing subject - ERE has been more difficult. Its tough to change when things don't suck...and considering I make over $100k a year, and my Spouse makes over $60k from her business, and we invest like 75%+ of that every 2 weeks, its no wonder our net-worth is growing like a weed.

We walk and talk a lot and have these conversations. In my 20s, I'd push my ideas hard. And I was very strict on multiple fronts - I'd stress over every penny that was not spent intelligently. Retiring early was the absolute goal. In my 30s, I've relaxed more and learned to listen more to my Spouse's thoughts & concerns...generally slow down in many areas of life. And being careful not to generate anxious feelings of needing to change things right away.

I honestly believe the whole 3% SWR is just a new goal-post I came up with to not have to think about RE too deeply since I don't see any major decisions on the lifestyle front coming soon lol. I like routines, being organized, and generally having something to work towards. That is where I find my strengths. I will need to figure out what this will mean for me (us?) in the future without 40 hours a week of paid employment.

[ertyu]

Did you ever look into or try the Alexander technique for your back pan issues? If yes, I wonder what your thoughts are about that

[Lemur]

@ertyu

I did read a bit about it, but skeptical and don't believe it would have been very useful for me. I had a lot of guarding behaviors - as in overthinking about posture such as sitting up straight, walking right, and avoiding spinal flexion. This caused a lot of stress over the years and I needed a psychological counter to this - to relax and allow myself to move freely. Contrary to popular belief, having a "correct posture" and "fixing posture" doesn't make much of a difference for those with chronic pain. And there isn't a right way or a wrong way to move - just do what is comfortable. I put these in quotes because from what I've gathered, there is no such thing as a correct posture per se...given that we're all anatomically built with a similar map but have different territories and biomechanics (for instance, some people have longer femurs or shorter femur bones compared to others even if they're the same height). If anything, the best advice is to stay in the posture that you're comfortable in and relaxed in. The good news is that it is perfectly fine to slouch in a chair at your computer desk. If you're in one position for long enough, the body will do what it does naturally and tell you to shift a little or even get up, stretch, and move. Sometimes we lose sight of that with overthinking about posture and what correct movement is.

I say this with some caution though - I think it is easy to evangelize what worked for me. Someone else could apply the Alexander Technique, find it eliminated the pain, and then come to believe that this is the solution. I will re-iterate why I like the biopsychosocial model though in particular...because it recognizes chronic pain as complex and there isn't a one size fits all solution.

[ertyu]

Right, this makes sense -- as you describe it, the biopsychosocial model wouldn't have been against using the Alexander technique a potential strategy to try in conjunction with keeping a mind on all other factors, e.g. one's inner attitude towards the pain etc. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I'm glad you're feeling appreciably better than before.