Where the water buffalo roam

[homeschoolingfamily]

Greetings from Central Vietnam.

I first discovered the ERE community and read Jacob's book back in 2013. My earnings had increased and I was exploring the world of personal finance for the first time. I don't recall learning about the Wheaton levels back then, but I was a 3 looking up towards 4.

Today I peg myself as a 5 - some progress, but still firmly with a consumer mindset. The years in between have not been focused on accumulation or leveling up. I've relocated to multiple countries, divorced and remarried, obtained an absurdly expensive fancy education, and pivoted careers a few times.

I'm father to a near two year old son. My family recently bought our first home in cash and we have a low-six figure nest egg. I work nearly full-time 100% remotely and my wife works part-time. I turned forty this year.

Fatherhood has brought a clarity to my life that I've not experienced before on this planet. My wife and I share a vision to provide our son with a rich and loving home-based education in the countryside. We want him to understand his environment, connect with people of all origins, develop resilience and resourcefulness, and have a deep-rooted understanding of how to live well. Probably not too different from any other parent I would imagine.

I was thinking the other day about what has drawn me back here, and in what ways that may be similar to the reasons I first stopped by. It clicked when I read something on the forums about the difference between 'freedom-from' and 'freedom-to'. I've tried many things, but I've never enjoyed working a salaried, corporate-style job where the structure of my time and expectations of what to deliver are set in advance, by other people. My big motivator is to break free from all of that and attain the freedom to do whatever is most enriching in the moment.

I'm not sure how this journal will develop. I won't be posting monthly financials or sharing much data. I'd rather reflect on a regular basis about what I'm learning and thinking over, while charting out my web of goals. I haven't had the habit of writing regularly for close to 20 years, so perhaps these posts will be drafts for future projects. I would like my son to one day be able to read back some of his father's thought processes and use what he learns to chart his own path.

You all seem like the right group to share this journey with.

[homeschoolingfamily]

After one week hanging out in other people's journals, I've gained further clarity about what I'm looking for and what has led me back to ERE after many years away.

The first realization is that I am not currently WL5, as mentioned earlier, but most definitely still somewhere in WL4. I've made some good choices in my life about where I live, have achieved years of Western-standard salaried income while working 100% remotely, and have never owned a car or vehicle in my life aside from a 150cc motorbike. Nevertheless, my house is full of stuff I never use or even look at, I still solve problems primarily by spending money on them, and my family spends far too much on frivolous non-home-cooked food.

The second realization, which I've spent most of the week thinking about, is the understanding that what I'm clearly seeking is semi-ERE. I took the time to read all 26 pages of @Jin+Guice's journal and have benefited greatly from the comments there, especially those around pages 8-13. I'll be looking into the post history of @classical_liberal next.

I come from a lower-middle class North American family of wage slaves. Full-time work was a non-negotiable pillar of life, accompanied by the enduring fear of any period of joblessness. Despite the fact that at 40 years old I've lived and worked on 4 continents, have multiple fancy degrees, have never held debt as an adult, own a large principal residence in a desirable market, have ~8-10 years of living expenses saved in taxable investment accounts, and have a spouse that earns enough to cover our monthly expenses, I still struggle to shake free of the anxiety of quitting a job or being unemployed.

What I want is to feel confident and empowered about stepping into a semi-ERE lifestyle focused on developing new skills, investing time into my family and my passions, prioritizing my son's upbringing, and finding ways to work meaningfully about 5-7 hours per week to fulfill basic needs. Serendipitous opportunities coupled with my social capital will generate opportunities to contribute to my savings from time to time. In fact, I already have one proven method to generate approximately $100 / week for 4 hours work by teaching chess classes. In addition to that, my house was built to be a home-stay property in a tourist destination. The original owner ran it successfully until Covid shut things down for a few years. My wife and I haven't tried our hand at this yet, but we certainly have all the tools and capabilities to do so.

The third realization I've had this week is about my spouse (does DW stand for 'dear wife'?). Born and raised in Vietnam, her deeply ingrained approach to work and finances essentially boils down to: 1) save as much as you possibly can 2) capitalize on lucrative work when you have opportunity to do so 3) do whatever it takes to never dip into your savings 4) otherwise cobble together enough each month to pay your frugal expenses and live stress-free. As I reflect on this, I'm just astonished and in admiration of how close her natural philosophy is to what I'm striving for. She's essentially not bothered at all about whether I might choose to do something 'major' like quit my corporate gig. Unsurprisingly, she's also vastly more skilled than I am in non-financial value generating skills.

[candide]

Hi hsf -- which I guess will become how your screen name gets shortened. I believe you have noticed there is a culture of shorthand here... and DW is indeed "dear wife."

You and I seem to have some similarities, both from working class families -- I know the psychological baggage you speak of very well -- and having children a bit later in life (I'm 39 and my daughter is 15 months old). Your advantages over me from a frugality standpoint are geo arbitage and having a wife from a more frugal culture than mine is from. DW hates spending money, so that's at least a start. I hate spending money *and* the American Way.

I look forward to following your journal and your journeys however you wish to present them.

[fiby41]

I've so far parsed the D as the, DD the daughter, DS the son etc.

[homeschoolingfamily]

Thanks @candide and @fibyi41 for stopping by and being the first to contribute here.

I went to bed last night thinking about geoarbitrage (or lifestyle arbitrage in general) and my wife's cultural upbringing.

While it is true that I am arbitraging my location at the moment by earning a remote income and benefiting from capital accumulated elsewhere, I intend to cut off the primary income stream within a few months. My wife and son are Vietnamese, so I consider this home, and it somehow seems strange to think of myself as carrying out arbitrage. But I think there are other ERE benefits to living here.

I am surrounded by farmers. The food we eat could easily be 80% locally produced. All of my neighbors have a vast array of DIY skills and are accustomed to a production-based lifestyle. I am embedded in a bartering economy where I could easily devise ways to trade skills or goods for food, services, repairs, etc. Better yet, I can learn from nearly everyone around me. Reflecting on this is part of the reason why I downgraded myself on the Wheaton scale, but it also inspires a lot of energy that I can find resources to help me level up in time.

My wife has experience with both a traditional, rural upbringing as well as modern city-dwelling consumerist living. She has somehow managed to combine these experiences into novel applications of the core skills. For instance, she excels in finding free travel opportunities and creating and maintaining communities both online and offline. It's not rocket science, it just requires thinking in a certain way.

It's ironic how the behaviors I've grown up viewing as more primitive/rural are now the behaviors I aspire to cultivate.

[theanimal]

I’d be interested in hearing more about your experiences living in a foreign country and what I presume is a very different culture from what you were raised in.

Also, are you currently homeschooling your son? Would you care to share about your experience?