Low Income, Early 20s, Anti-Wage-Slave Living: Walwen's Journal

[Walwen]

I am a 20 year old who works part-time in social services here in Illinois. At 18, I did what I was raised to do and got into a good university, moved out into the dorms, etc..... and quickly realized I hated the path I was on. So I dropped out, moved in with my grandfather, and got a job in homelessness services, which I have had for about a year now.

I have four goals for within the next 12 months.

• See how long it takes me to save 10k.

• Be accepted into the local art collaborative.

• Access appropriate treatment for a health condition.

• Enlist in the army National Guard.

My ultimate goal (at least as far as the scope of this forum) is to fully own a plot of land and a mobile/manufactured home before the age of 30. From the numbers I've run, I could that for 100k. Probably for less, but 100k is easy to visualize. Beyond that, my aspirations get fuzzy as I'm not sure where life will take me. I think I'd like to have multiple living situations, something a little non-conventional: like a cabin/tiny home as a vacation home+FUBAR INCH escape, and/or an RV or converted van.

Another fuzzy goal of mine is to have a side hustle "make it." The art collaborative is what I've put the most thought into- it comes with dedicated gallery space and placement in local arts fairs, coffee shops, and their e-shop, not to mention connections within the local art scene. But I've had ideas my whole life in this area... if I own land, I would like to make a micro-homestead, and I have lofty daydreams of growing rosemary and mint for natural skincare products, angora rabbits for their fur, chickens for eggs and meat etc. Work is work, and not always fun- but not all work is created equal.

The last less-defined goal is simply to learn more about FIRE and related concepts. I am pretty new to everything, especially the jargon- only having read the book once through, and been on this forum for a few days.... All those systems graphics tickle my fancy and I hope to develop one for my own life.



My hopes for this journal is to see me through refining and achieving my goals, to share my progress with the community, and get feedback and make connections with the lovely people here.

I'm going to try to keep my entries shorter and more consistent, rather than giant hard-to-digest posts, to make it easier for people to follow along. Maybe an update once a week, and only focusing on one goal each time.

Take it easy,

Walwen

[ertyu]

Sounds interesting, welcome, I'll be following along

[arbrk]

Seems like you have what feels right to you figured out, which is more than many people EVER figure out!

[UrbanHomesteader]

Welcome, I look forward to following your journey!

[Walwen]

Hi everyone! Thanks for the encouragement!
To keep things organized, I'm going to try to write in segments, one topic per segment.

Explaining my journal title: Low Income, Early 20s, Anti-Wage-Slave Living


Low Income: As a rough guideline, I expect to make 1,100 a month. This isn't minimum wage, but I'm certainly no salaried tech person with a 70k/year salary. My guess is that I will make about 14k this year, including all sources of income.

Early 20s: Well, 20 at the time of writing, actually. (If you believe what people write online.)

Anti-Wage-Slave Living: This is something I have a hard time pin-pointing, and I would like to figure out how to phrase better and explain better. One thing I've realized is that I am NOT a minimalist. This doesn't mean I'm a mindless consumer- I would never buy a Funko Pop, and all the clothes I own fit into one dresser drawer with room to spare. But I like having things- quality things. Another thing I say is that I have strong "nesting urges." If a man can be happy in a living room with just a folding chair, a milk crate, and the TV on the floor, let him be happy- I would be miserable. If you left me in that space for a week, even if I didn't have a dime to my name, you'd come back to origami wall art made from the junk mail, a rug woven from an old bedsheet, and some random plant cuttings propagating in bottles from a recycle bin. I like to live in nice spaces full of nice pretty quality things.

I am strongly compelled toward creating aesthetic, optimized living spaces- mastering the art of the "vibe." I buy artesian scented candles. I buy high-quality fresh meat and cheese. I buy novelty sodas and candy and toys. I go all-out for friends' birthdays and holiday celebrations. I buy decorations for my workplace, too- it improves my working experience as well as that of others.. And I don't think any of these expenses conflict with my FI goals- it just takes some smarts to finance it all.

The young Wage Slave living at home makes 1100 a month, pays 100 on student loans, 60 on the phone bill, 300 on the car, 400 on food/eating out, and is left with just 240 for everything else- "No room to save!", he says, spending 100 a month on video games he hardly plays, or subscription services, or clothing. And the food he eats is freezer meals, pizza bites, and McDonalds. With only 140 a month left over, or 1,680 a year, how could he afford to move out? How would he even furnish a house without buying just particle board furniture from Walmart, and the plastic dishes from Target, and the cheapest mattress available? Not enough money! Better work more hours at McDonalds! If he works fulltime, he'll barely have enough for that 650 rent for a studio apartment.... Welcome to the Wage Slave Life: Working tons of hours in a horrible workplace, barely able to afford a horrible quality of life, then pizza bites for dinner on a plastic plate at a laminated cardboard table, go to sleep on polyester sheets on back-pain-inducing mattress, worrying about what you'll ever do if you get too sick to work or your car breaks down.

I don't live like that. That's what I mean by Anti-Wage-Slave living. I'll... try to figure out how to say that more succinctly. I'd appreciate any ideas

Work Week Meal Prep:


I wanted to show off my style of cooking. Hopefully the pictures add some interest to this journal.
I'm not a hardcore meal prep guy- I don't pre-pack things into containers or make super large batches. However, I like to take the day before I work a few days in a row, and basically make a bunch of food all at once, since I'll be at work the times I otherwise would be cooking. I also don't tend to plan meals out ahead of time. I just buy the staples in bulk, and buy what's really cheap at the store, and figure out how to make it work.

Today I had a cabbage that was on the verge of going off, 5 russet potatoes, and two chicken breasts.


It all starts with texmati rice. This is three cups (one cup dry).


Next I braised the cabbage in chicken bone broth, butter, and soy sauce. Lots of garlic powder and onion powder and black pepper. I know it looks a little anemic- but trust me, this stuff is flavorful and tender.


I roughly diced the potatoes and pan-fried them in canola oil and butter. I didn't think they had enough flavor, so I took some chicken bouillon, mixed it with just two tablespoons of liquid, and tossed that in at the end. It was a BIG improvement. Cooking them in the oven would probably be better.


Finally, the two chicken breasts. I just cooked them on the skillet in butter, let them rest, seasoned with garlic powder, salt and black pepper, and very roughly chopped it to bits. I ate some before I took this picture.


And the finished product! I didn't add the cabbage, but I did add a handful of shredded cheddar...

But.... how much did it all cost? (These are all estimates to my best capacity- I bought all of these things in pretty large quantities, with coupons and deals, etc.)

Cabbage: 2.00
Texmati Rice: 0.75
Potatoes: 3.75
Chicken Breasts: 2.00
Butter: .50
Seasonings, Oils, Etc: 1.00

Total: 10.00

I am guessing this is about 6 servings for me: or 1.66 per meal! I budget 210 a month for food max. Eating four meals a day means I need to stay at 1.75 per meal or less, so this is perfect!

You could replace the texmati rice with basic white or brown rice for maybe 50-60 cents in savings, and there are certainly cheaper veggies and proteins out there. The easiest and cheapest way to stretch this would be to simply increase the amount of rice

[Frita]

At 18, I did what I was raised to do and got into a good university, moved out into the dorms, etc..... and quickly realized I hated the path I was on. So I dropped out, moved in with my grandfather, and got a job in homelessness services, which I have had for about a year now.

Welcome, I am interested in your process in figuring things out so quickly and shifting to a new life.

[loutfard]

Low Income: As a rough guideline, I expect to make 1,100 a month.

Is your very low income a deliberate choice? Is it an expression of deliberately working in social services part time? Hear why I'm asking this.

I lived on a similarly low income for about a year just after my main studies, tacking on an extra year while working. I never explicitly super focused on upping my earnings, but rather on keeping my spending reined in.

One thing consistently turns up in all of my personal plans since my early twenties. I wanted to be able to relate to ordinary people. One way was not outspending them. I've always tried to limit my spending to below what an unskilled labourer can spend. That felt especially important during the short time when I earned ~3.5 times median.

Limiting spending to below what an unskilled labourer can afford can be a useful anchoring point, but it only works to some extent to make sure I don't float away too far from the median. I've always made more money per hour worked. I've always made my euros go much further than median by spending frugally. My spending patterns are still qualitatively different. All of which is fine.

[Walwen]

Is your very low income a deliberate choice? Is it an expression of deliberately working in social services part time?

Originally, I was still in college when I got my job- so it was a position that would not interfere with a full course-load. I've since dropped out of course, but I'm not interested in working fulltime right now. This is for a couple reasons. One is simply that I enjoy all the free time to develop myself. I want this development time in my 20s when I am still a really quick learner- I don't want to wait. I can spend hours on art- hours on knitting and other crafts, and make appointments easily, not having to worry about finding a day I have off.

I also think that every person in social services has a limited lifespan, basically: like a candle wick or a pencil eraser. Every moment you are too stressed to handle it, your wick burns down, and your eraser rubs away.... until you're burnt out with nothing left to give. But I want to have a long career. If I worked fulltime, with the little education I have, I think I eventually would burnout and find myself in over my head and want out. I see this happen to many people within 3-5 years. But instead, having such a short workweek means I am always refreshed and happy to go to work.

Finally, I am not interested in finding a different (presumably higher-paying) job due to my goal of enlistment in the Guard. I want to be dual-employed, working part-time on the civilian side, as well as in the Guard. I would not want to get a new job just to say, "Okay, now I'm going to be gone for an entire year for basic training and AIT!" My current job is very military-appreciative and I think I will have an easy(ish) time making this work in my favor.


14.25/hr for my position is both low and high. I only made 12.00 when I started, so 14.25 is a big improvement. But you just don't make much money in social services. Many grocery stores and big box stores pay more. But I don't want to work in a big box store, I want to work in social services. If something really cool pops up, I might go for it in the future- but I currently plan to stay in the same job for at least the next 3 years. Basically, I don't plan to ever make more than, say, 80k a year. (Unless hyperinflation really takes off.)

[Walwen]

Hi everyone, just checking in to share a few things.

My 50% is Another Man's 5%

I feel a little dejected when thinking about saving money, I can't lie. My sister's boyfriend has a white collar job and makes over 100k a year, and she makes about 35k. They are moving in to a rented house together. The way they are spending money is entirely alien to me. They eat out about once per day- I eat out about once per month. They are buying tons of furniture to fill their house, but it's the most random crap. I understand buying, like, a bedframe and new mattress, but they are buying stuff like end tables and decorative rugs and lamps before they have even moved in. How will you know where you want to put a lamp before you live in the house? Well, I know the answer to that- if they don't like it, no big deal, they have plenty of money to just throw that one away and buy a different one without a second thought. They are buying most of this stuff just out of hype for having a new house.

It is pretty de-motivating to think that her boyfriend could simply live off 20k for a single year and save 80k, while I don't even make 20k a year, and expect it to take nearly a decade to save 80k. I'm pretty sure the money they spend solely on Starbucks is more than what I spend on my food for the entire year. Another friend of mine has inherited money, and the amount he is forced to take out of the account each year is equivalent to my yearly wages.

But all this doesn't mean my goals aren't worth it. That's the crux of it- a lot of people would look at this situation, at their "wagie life", and decide they will simply never own land, they simply use credit card debt and live paycheck to paycheck in order to approximate that middle class lifestyle, they buy cheap knock-offs and plastic approximations of real objects... Growing up I was told to become a doctor, lawyer, etc, that I had the potential for any degree, that I had the highest score on the ASVAB, I got near-perfect SAT and ACT scores... but I don't have to use that potential to become "top rat in the rat race", as a friend of mine puts it. I can use that potential to achieve my goals while I work my dream job. I don't want to be a lawyer. I want to get to that point where I hardly work in a formal W-2 setting, essentially. I would be happy if I worked 20hrs a week at the homeless shelter, then the rest of the time was spent on homesteading endeavors like microfarming, selling art, raising chickens and rabbits, etc.


Average Grocery List And Non-Essential Expenses
I also wanted to share a grocery list of mine. It's hard for me to say something like "This is two weeks of groceries" because some of it is pantry staples that will last months and some of it is treats I ate the same day. The fees are because I had it delivered.

18 (x2) oz chicken breast 13.98
16oz stew-cut carrots 1.00
5lbs russet potatoes 4.29
8oz kerrygold butter 5.39
4ct Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream Cones 9.59
32oz Low-Sodium Chicken Broth 1.79
32oz Chicken Bone Broth 5.89
3ct Garlic 2.69
3lbs Yellow Onions 3.19
15fl oz Lemon Juice 2.09
16oz Baking Soda 0.94
8.1oz Baking Powder 1.99
3ct Active Yeast Packets 2.29
2lbs White Rice 1.79
53fl oz Orange Juice 3.69
6oz Blackberries 2.50
8oz Shredded Mozzarella 2.50
8oz Shredded Cheddar 2.50
9.25oz BBQ Fritos 4.39
5.3 oz (x4) Chobani Fruit-on-The-Bottom Yogurt 4.00
15fl oz (x2) Bolthouse Smoothie 6.00
3.5oz Crispy Dried Bell Peppers 1.67

18 dollars off in coupons and savings
84 dollar item subtotal
104 after tip+fees

In terms of random non-essential expenses, in the past two weeks, I purchased the following items:
30 dollars for 28oz high-quality salmon from a local small grocery store
12 for a pastry and drink from a local coffee shop
90 dollars in merino wool yarn for a blanket
30 dollars in plants: I purchased native milkweed as part of a butterfly garden effort, a large houseplant I have been hunting for, and received another plant for free as part of a promotion.
Or roughly 170 dollars. The 90 dollars of yarn is a bit unusual for me, but I'm fine spending about that on my art projects per month.

At work I'm going through an old bookcase where most of the books are worthless as books... but it looks like plenty of free art material to me! I'm going to use the pages of textbooks such as Innovative Management Forecast Methods 6th Ed. from 1995 as material for wall art. I've also painted a little on cardboard from an old box and rather liked the effect- if I framed it up properly, I think it'd be portfolio-worthy... and only perhaps 10 dollars in material cost.

Finally, I'm going to invest a little in some home goods. I've been watching the Joss & Main (A Wayfair brand) site since I got a 10% promo code in the mail from them. I found what I wanted on clearance, and today they're having an additional sale with unlimited free shipping. I'm getting a ceramic 16 piece dishware set and a set of 6 towels for 79 dollars. Without my promo code and the sales, it'd be 115. Could I go to Walmart and buy dishes and towels for much less? Yes, but I have done my research and trust in the quality of these items- that it's worth investing in these things. I currently own only two bleach-stained towels and use 15 year old plastic dishes that are so scratched up it's frankly unhygienic- these purchases are going to make me happy for years to come. I'm a real domestic-minded soul and things like this really do tickle my fancy.

I also finally funded my Roth IRA- but I did it with Robinhood, not Ally. Robinhood offers a 1% match. I put 500 in, then set up an auto-contribution of 50 dollars every week. I'm just going to let it be and only stop it if I feel the crunch. I also made some investments through Robinhood using a robo-portfolio but I'll be honest, I don't know what I'm doing there. Any tips or links to resources would be appreciated, hah hah....

Have a good day everyone!

[theanimal]

It is pretty de-motivating to think that her boyfriend could simply live off 20k for a single year and save 80k, while I don't even make 20k a year, and expect it to take nearly a decade to save 80k. I'm pretty sure the money they spend solely on Starbucks is more than what I spend on my food for the entire year. Another friend of mine has inherited money, and the amount he is forced to take out of the account each year is equivalent to my yearly wages.

I think you are just framing it wrong. My dad and his wife eat out every single night at high end restaurants. Their annual spending on restaurants is multiples of our total household spending. But I know there is no way he is getting the equivalent multiple in contentment over our homemade meals, most likely less.

You are so skilled that you have the ability to live on just one line item of your sisters household's annual budget for your total expenditure. Are they enjoying life that much more than you are? You are able to do the same without having to deal with the hassles of a six figure job, going into the office every day, keeping up appearances, always being on call etc. That is empowering! He needs 100k a year at minimum to live and I imagine he wants more. You are living well now and you don't even need 100k a decade. Keep it up!

[Scott 2]

If you can relax the part time requirement, social serves and non-profit work offers much greater earnings than you are getting today. Looking at the latest 990 of the food pantry I volunteer at, the CEO earned ~140k. Against a revenue of about 3.5 million. It requires being a leader, and probably a degree, but some money is on the table. There is a semi-lucrative path forward, if you want to take it.

Have you looked at some of the books around how we learn? Like Ultralearning by Scott Young or Peak by Anders Ericson? I think the challenge with self-directed learning over a structured education, is figuring out how to plug into expert guidance. Navigating the unknown unknowns.

[Walwen]

I think you are just framing it wrong.
[snip]
You are living well now and you don't even need 100k a decade. Keep it up!

Thanks! I talked some more with a good friend of mine about this. Another important fact is that this boyfriend is ten years older than me and went through years of college. He actually did have a full scholarship and so doesn't have loans that I know of. I had 50% off college when I attended, through several scholarships, but frankly I still think the education and accommodations I was receiving was not worth the 8k a year I was still paying. The bigger picture though, is that he spent his early twenties in that college life. I HATED college life. I tell my coworkers, "I'll go back to college when someone else will pay for it!", but there's also the matter that, where I live, the universities require you to stay in the dorms and purchase a meal plan for your first two years out of high school- this was 4k out of my 8k expenses. You are FORCED into that coddled, adult-child, not-allowed-a-stovetop lifestyle that costs thousands I don't need to spend. If I go back as an older student, I don't have to live in the dorms or have a meal plan.

This ties into what Scott 2 said as well. There's money in the nonprofit sector, but it's in degree-requiring fulltime leadership positions. I won't rule out doing something like that someday- but certainly not in my 20s. What do I want to do in my twenties? Have enough time to devote to developing myself. I have so much time for my arts- enough time to get good- enough time to read and learn, enough time to learn instruments, to cook from scratch, to garden.

I'll have to look into those books- I've heard of some of their concepts, but not read them myself.
The hardest part of self-directed learning, in my case, is the lack of a requirement to produce completed projects. It's very easy for me to pick things up- to learn to read sheet music, to learn to weave, etc. Then I don't use those skills and slowly they rot out of my mind- and in general I don't progress very far in them.
Luckily since I've been working, I seem to be very happy to use my workplace as a place for projects to manifest to completion- and my coworkers and bosses are happy too. I decorate bulletin boards, remove rust from furniture, deep-clean appliances and carpet, etc. etc.


I've really been working on abstract art lately. I do drawing exercises from some books while I'm at work, and my coworkers have taken notice, which is a nice ego boost. I think three months is a reasonable amount of time before I have a good portfolio built up to submit for the artist's collaborative. I'm trying to keep a good running list of my expenses. The lower I can keep it, the higher my chance of ever making a profit with this. Working fast and efficiently is important too. Bizarrely, I think house paints might be a good medium for the type of stuff I do- and I've actually had good luck finding sample pots for 3 or 4 dollars in thrift stores.

[mathiverse]

I also hated the requirement at my uni to live on campus the first two years. It was a real scam given cost for the meal plan and two-to-a-room with shared-with-20-others bathroom was significantly higher than the cost for getting your own room in a one bathroom, two bedroom apartment with one other roommate right next to campus and cooking yourself. Also living in a dorm was hell given my noise, privacy, and social contact preferences. My academic performance suffered a lot.

[SavingWithBabies]

If you go back as an older student in STEM, you will also qualify for a number of grants*. Also if you're old enough, your parents finances will no longer be part of your financial aid application which may help you too. I did two years at a (good) community college (no degree, just focused on transferable credits) and then transferred to university and did the remaining two years there for B.S. of Computer Sciences. By the end of it, they would have been paying me to go to school basically but I was too burned out trying to do the whole thing in 4 years. I should have done it a bit slower, kept my GPA up and then maybe done a masters as the undergrad classes basically ended too soon in terms of learning. But I'm not unhappy with how it turned out. I was really happy to skip living on campus. I always wondered if I missed out somehow but for me personally, I don't think I did.

* I realized just now my information might be out of date as it has been 15+ years but I suspect it is still the same. The grants came from the NSF (National Science Foundation).

[Walwen]

I definitely will have a better financial situation returning to college when I'm older, especially with a hopeful military aspiration.



A day out on the town: Expenses

I wanted to document how I spend money, because I think that stuff is valuable for other's that are trying to get a picture of how this stuff works in other's lives.

I've needed some computer adapters as well as a set of desktop speakers. I ordered both off Amazon, but the package was lost and I got refunded. This was some sort of destiny moment. I unironically believe I hardcore manifest some sort of frugal money-attracting energy- and I've never read or obeyed any of those woo-woo guides that help you with the "law of attraction" or anything like that. Maybe I'm just opportunistic. Ideas about this are welcome.

I got the Robinhood spending card purely because it offers 6% back at Dell as well as rounding up your charges and making a random bonus on the round-up. It doesn't have any annual fees, minimum balance etc.
They offered the exact same adapters and speakers for a lower price, and one on sale!
So I ordered them, but the order was dropped! Turns out I started loading the card with money, but the deposit hadn't gone through yet! So I had to wait 24hrs for them to try to process payment again.

In this time, I walked all over downtown today to the little stores. In a thrift store, I found a set of speakers just like I wanted. The price? 2 dollars! So I canceled the Dell order for one!

Isn't that just something? I went from paying about 40 bucks for these items, to probably 20 (still need to order a wifi adapter.) Of course, if the speakers go kaput tomorrow, it'll be a waste of my money, but even if they only last half as long, that's still a much better value than the 20 dollar speakers.



In my excursion downtown, I really had a blast.
I went to....
A coffeeshop. I bought a drink and a pastry. (9)
Three art galleries. I didn't buy nothin' lol.
A hobby shop. I bought a gift for my mom and a trinket for myself. (56)
A bakery. I bought mini cupcakes for my family and they had a BOGO on canned kombucha. (12)
Two thrift stores. I bought 16 fat quarters, the speakers, a humidifier, 3 sets of knitting needles, a ball of yarn, brass shower hooks, and a comic for 27 dollars. The fabric was the most by far- everything besides the fabric was only 7 dollars, the fabric was 20. (27)
A specialty food store. I bought smoked bourbon salt and traditional made-in-wooden-barrel aged soy sauce. (25)
A small grocery store. I bought some fancy small chocolate. (5)
I also went and donated plasma- I made 100 dollars.

Total: 134 (net -34 including 100 earned)

If I didn't buy the present for my mom, I would have gained money today. But unfortunately, it looks like the flower arrangement I had ordered in a MONTH'S ADVANCE to arrive for Mother's Day has been delayed, and this was my only good chance to buy something in secret for her.

I really spent the whole day out on the town. It was just my speed, like a vacation. I think my spending was actually above average. I could honestly afford to spend like this weekly or even bi-weekly, but it would obliterate my saving goals. I just haven't gone out on the town for a few weeks. If I just went to, say the three galleries, a thrift store, and the coffeeshop, I might only spend 20 bucks. If I brought my camera or drawing supplies and spent time with that, it'd be a full day again. As a rough estimate, I can "go out on the town" for just 15 bucks and not feel pressed for money... comfortably enough for a frou-frou drink and a pastry or a sandwich from a shop someplace... spend the rest of the time window-shopping, gallery-gazing, in the library, taking photos, or working on art en plein air. I mean, if I bring my own food, it's basically free, but I do like to buy food and fancy drinks and candy from local shops sometimes.


So, 30 dollars would pay for two full day's on the town per week. 50-75 dollars would be extremely comfortable. This also fulfills my social needs and I tend to network a little. (e.g., visiting all the art galleries because I want to join the one, talking to all the clerks and people there.) If I were saving more hardcore, 15 dollars a week would be fine and I'd just have to concede the majority of the food purchases and thrifting.

It's hard for me to budget saying things like "50 bucks a week" though. I spent 130 today, but I didn't spend anything in town for the past two weeks, the present was a yearly purchase, I already planned to spend 20 on the speaker but only spent 2, etc. But if you're like me and thinking, "How much money do you need to spend to have a social life and go spend the whole day going all over downtown?", 7.50 per outing is minimal, 15 is doable, and 25 is very comfortable per outing for the frugally-minded. Yes- you can spend 0 if you just literally don't buy anything. I could just go to the library and galleries and stare in the stores but never buy anything, but that's not my end-goal lol. And if you don't have a hobby like drawing, reading, etc, that can kill time in town, well... you probably need one lol.

And also keep in mind I'm saying FULL day, like 6-8 hours. You could also go to one place every day after work... the library one day, the gallery another, and only spend once or twice- going someplace basically daily, but still only spending 15 bucks a week or so. But I don't go into town that much, and I save a lot of time and gas by just visiting the whole downtown area by foot in one go. The walking itself is healthy, too, yanno.


Bathroom Renovation

My little bathroom here in my grandfather's house really needs some love and renovation since I moved in. Different things had gotten rusty, everything was just kinda slimy and grimy and nasty bathroom-esque.

I replaced the vanity lights with grow light bulbs I already had, and planted a pothos cutting in a mason jar of water on a high shelf near them. It's doing well and I hope to make a macramé plant holder to hold more water-rooted plants up near the lights soon. The humidity in the bathroom can definitely be used to my advantage.
I got some heavyduty tile cleaner. I'm sure I could homebrew some mixture of bleach, castile soap etc for cheaper, but for this job, I bit the bullet for a purpose-made solution. It worked well to get all the grime off everything and I have tons left.
I used a wire brush to get all the rust off the sink. I also got all the rust off my mesh rack bathroom shelves. Then I took them outside and spray-painted them with Rustoleum Painter's Touch 2x coverage, with a topcoat of Rustoleum gloss clear coat. For color, I went with a smoky beige. I thought it would just look nicer than a white.... I think both pure white and pure black bathrooms get dingy too easily, it's too hard to maintain those pure colors....
I also just today got brass shower curtain hooks which make me happy. I think they were a dollar from the thrift store. Still in the original box! There's some brass accents in the bathroom I'd like to roll with.... and my current curtain hooks are zip ties.

It's a little hard to estimate the costs- I owned a lot of the stuff already, and I have a lot left over from different things. But I would say I've spent about 40 dollars so far- including stuff like the dropcloth I used while painting, etc.
I think 100 is a good total budget. I want a new shower curtain, to redo the caulk, and get some stick-on tiles for the vanity. I actually own a tube of caulk from a while ago.... but I don't own a caulk gun!!! Hopefully I can find one at a thrift store.

[ertyu]

sounds like a fun weekend

if you have creative hobbies, busking is excellent for networking, too - or at least it's excellent for networking where im from. this is better if your hobby is something that gives you down time e.g. drawing people's portraits or selling handmade jewelry off a tarp (if legal where you are)

i know people who love volunteering to staff galleries, too - same deal: you sit around all day, people who are interested in art come, you chat with them. i'm thinking of this one local hole in the wall place.

good luck with caulking and so forth!

[Salathor]

It isn't impossible to live on 1,100 a month. A lot of us here, I think, have or can do it it. But you're young, and you're working at human services anyway, and you don't have kids so you don't have a whole lot else going on (I mean, that you HAVE to do every day--I didn't mean you don't have a lot going on to imply that your life isn't full of meaning). Why not just, you know, get an entry-level full time job in either human services (or the Army) and save 100k in three years? You'll be twenty three and you can get that paid off house and then screw around on 1100 a month for the rest of your life totally fine?

[Walwen]

It isn't impossible to live on 1,100 a month. A lot of us here, I think, have or can do it it. But you're young, and you're working at human services anyway, and you don't have kids so you don't have a whole lot else going on (I mean, that you HAVE to do every day--I didn't mean you don't have a lot going on to imply that your life isn't full of meaning). Why not just, you know, get an entry-level full time job in either human services (or the Army) and save 100k in three years? You'll be twenty three and you can get that paid off house and then screw around on 1100 a month for the rest of your life totally fine?

I might not have kids but I'm the head of two households, basically. My mother and grandfather's houses are a block apart and I am the only able-bodied man between them and generally go to both houses each day. My grandfather is nearly bedbound and has at least a few month's intensive recovery ahead of him after a surgery soon. My mother needs surgery but is too obese. I'm the only person that can bend down or lift things between them. There's no money for in-home care or maids etc.

I dunno where I can get a full-time entry level job in human services without a degree and take home 42k per year (33 for saving, 12 for living off) after tax. With taxes here, that'd have to be at least a 50k or more job. Believe me, I've looked- the other shelter pays two dollars more per hour than my shelter and is desperately hiring. My boss, who has a master's, makes 65k per year. And I hear the management is evil at the other place- hence why everyone quits.

I do think about active duty (i.e. fulltime) military, but then I think I'd spend a few years of my 20s unhappy, in barracks, in different states, in large cities. Not that being in the Guard means those things wouldn't happen- but hopefully less. It would be a lot harder to gain these skills I'm working on- no room to garden, no room to compost, to submit art to local galleries, to paint large-scale, to do home repairs.

On a more personal note I've been avoiding a little: My health is pretty crap. This is one of my goals. I think I would not do very well working fulltime, although I'm capable of it in short spurts. I need the time to devote to recovery and I need low-stress. If I started fulltime today, maybe I'd earn more money, but the chance of catastrophic failure goes way up, and my ability to work on all my other goals (including my health!) goes way down.


Part of this whole "want to spend my 20s doing what I want to do" is healing while I'm young and plastic. I work with a lot of old guys who definitely should have gotten treatment when their issues started in their teens and 20s. I've read a lot of papers that say the older people with my conditions get, the lower the likelihood and level of remission. If I don't spend the time on my health, even if I had the money at 23, I would not be ready to own a house at 24. I would rather own a house at 27 and be three times as skilled in art, have many more social connections, and not be concerned of a catastrophic health failure. This is not some sort of baseless anxiety- I've had several total breakdowns with serious consequences- I graduated high school by a special exception from the superintendent, I'm actually a THREE time college drop-out, and I've been illegally evicted: they're all long stories. If you've got some mental health condition in mind like depression or anxiety, it's nothing like that. The last breakdown I had, my dearest friend told me simply: "You must never let this happen again." And that's kinda the true version of the goal I wrote at the start of this journal, "to get treatment for a health condition." To eradicate the chance of a total breakdown while I'm young and plastic-minded. I see those posters in town, with a brain that says "Under Construction Until 25" (a PSA against college kids doing drugs) and to me, it's an urgent reminder that I can't put off fixing myself up.

Anything simple you can think of I've probably tried it for several years. I'm at the point where the doctors are saying "Mayo Clinic" and "travel to X big city to see if X specialist has a clue" and I don't actually have any diagnosis really. That is sorta the consensus nowadays- that there literally isn't a name for what ails me. They think it's maybe some sort of benign remitting demyelinating disorder. I think I'm crazy because of my rough childhood. I take psych tests and they say I'm normal and get worried it's neurological- I go to neurologists and they find concerning test results, and make me get more and more tests, but they've never been able to concretely find a plaque or MRI evidence, just EMG results that come and go and abnormal neurological exams. And never anything that helps whatsoever. Just lots of copays. I ask them up-front about functional (hysteric) illness due to my background of torture, and two neurologists said there was no way and I had no indicators, and the last finally said he didn't think it could cause the funny test results, but it was worth pursuing more psych treatment if any part of it was functional. So I go to the psyches and therapists and they say they don't think it's functional and get mad that the neurologists are "passing the buck" because they always get worried I've got some hidden brain tumor or complex seizures. I've had easily over 1,000 hours of therapy across my lifetime. I really cannot say it has ever helped. I generally see a therapist for six months to several years until they reach a point where they say, "I think you need a specialist, I'm not sure how to treat this." My longest therapist became convinced I had complex seizures (since she had had complex seizures) and this was her breaking point where she said I seem very mentally robust and independent, and I need a brain doctor, not a therapist. The brain doctors took hundreds of dollars and gave me some radiation exposure, and found nothing. This has been the cycle for the past ten years or so- haven't found my answers yet. Looking really hard. Praying for answers. Once I expressed to a therapist that I'm thirsty for information and will devour any resources given. He took me to his bookcase and showed me four books he thought might be relevant. I owned each one and had read them each cover to cover. This was incredibly demoralizing.

I get real bent out of shape over not knowing what to even do anymore, so sorry for rambling. I just have never, not once, felt understood or felt like I had found someone with the same illness as myself, in all my years of looking, and it's insane. All my financial goals, all my other personal goals, all my vocational goals- they're not worth that much if I'm going to have another breakdown and lose my job, be evicted, lose my friends, ruin my property, etc.

[Laura Ingalls]

Enjoying your journal so far. You are inspiring me to do a mini bathroom makeover. Once I get all the @$@! wallpaper boarder off and repaint my kitchen.

Good luck on your health challenges. It seems that working on nutrition and movement/fitness are always good ideas. Neurological stuff can be tricky.

I am the mom of a couple of young men about your age. We also had a planet wide mess during that time. One loathed high school. The other found high school to be a nurturing place (especially chilling in the library).

[Walwen]

Thanks! Great screen name too.
I find a lot of inspiration from "renter friendly diy" YouTube videos even though I'm not renting. I saw a video where a lady put contact paper, peel and stick backsplash, and replaced the drawer handles, and you wouldn't believe the difference it made in her apartment bathroom. She also got these wireless puck lights.... and hung them in lampshades from the ceiling above her kotchen island with adhesive strips, and it looked so good, like it was built that way! A lot of people in the comments said that if you go through with all the renter-friendly remodeling, you should ask management it they even want you to take it down before you go.... that after seeing how good their apartments look, they use the unit as a model unit and want to keep the contact paper etc.

I remember the day in class when it was announced we were going to virtual for the foreseeable future and the shutdown started. It was definitely a way to sort the kids from the young adults. Some people were cheering like it was the first day of summer break. Others were sullen. In regard to my opinion on school, I had a sort of Calvin and Hobbes thing since I could talk.... so I always said, "I value education, but this school is not a good source of education for me." I maxed out the math placement test so in 6th grade they put me in algebra. I got a 6% F. As a 7th and 8th grader, I failed it again, under 20% F each time. They ALWAYS said "you'll never get into college, you'll never progress unless you pass algebra!" As a 15yo highschool freshman I dual-enrolled in college. I maxed out their math placement test. I took Statistics (which was very matrix and algebra heavy) and got an A.
I'm so glad I'm in the real world now where I'm judged on what I can actually do, not these notions of "you must take this class, this class, and this class, otherwise you are UNPREPARED AND UNEDUCATED." I've never gotten an F because I didn't know the course material. I got Fs because I hated school. I've got that magical diploma and now NONE OF IT MATTERS!

Any parents out there with kids like me, I highly recommend three things: using virtual school or GED programs to get that magic paper ASAP. Just get out of high school. Second, vocational skills. I was in a vocational program and it really changed my life. Two days a week, for half the school day, I worked at a nonprofit instead. Got credit for it. Used that as a reference for my current job. I also did temp farm work (detasseling). Great experience, got me stronger, taught me to work hard, wasn't like school. Finally: financial literacy and goals. Roth IRA. Bank account/credit union for debit card. High-yield savings account. Secured credit card and an app like Credit Karma to keep an eye on it. Watching my own money has really scratched the itch I had for years to be autonomous. Thinking long term about my plans to buy land etc in the future really motivates me.



I've made the choice to commit to life coach certification. The nail in the coffin for this specific program is that I learned the higher-uppers in my own workplace get this exact certification as part of a larger credentialing program for ministers. Sorry if that reads poorly but I don't want to reveal too much personal details about where I work. Point is, I think it's the training I need and want.