I have a little experience with this. I can give some info for CA. Policy varies by state.classical_Liberal wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2019 11:43 pmI didn't read the article. However, part of this retirement discussion has to be health care directive related. This needs to go beyond the idea of DNR/DNI.
My backstory is my dad didn’t want the kids having much control. So he made sure mom didn’t sign any DPOA, DNR, will etc. while she was lucid. I got a couple of POAs for small financial accounts that he filled to pay small bills. He likes control. He always reminded me I didn’t have legal authority to do anything more than personally look after mom. Yeah he’s a dick.
As I went through the process of seven years of caring for mom I learned slowly and the hard way that a lot of this doesn’t matter. I got mom a DNR signed just by me called a POLST. I put mom into hospice without a DPOA even though you’re supposed to have one. I signed alone.
I also learned I could just drop her off at the nearest Medicaid facility for broke old folks and be done with her without any authorization. Yeah, there’s what the lawyers say and reality. I used this threat to get my dad to give me access to his big pots of money and I started the 24/7 $250k/yr care team. He got really upset that I forced his hand but as I say it has been a seven year war or chess game of sorts. I basically said, here is the first monthly bill for $20k, I need money or else I drive mom to the shittiest home in LA and sign her in.
I wasn’t going to pay for this. I was already giving my time.
I loved my mom but I had to find a way for mom and dad to pay for the care. They are rich after all. Dad wanted to dump it on me since I was rich in his eyes. I think he secretly wanted to financially ruin me too because he was bitter that I achieved independence on my own and made my freedom before he lured me back. I’ll never know. I don’t have esp.
At the end I put mom into hospice. Home hospice. One signature. Mine. I buried her. One signature. Mine again. I gathered up all her assets. One signature again. Mine. No DPOA, no will, no living trust no DNR.
Funny how reality works out versus what we are told by our controllers.
In the aftermath I wondered how my dad put my wealthy and independent (very lucid) grandparents into care in their 90s. They wanted to stay at home but they went to an institution at my dad’s hand. Kicking and screaming. I asked my uncle and he said they just dropped them off and signed them in. No DPOA, no wills, no trust no DNR. My grandfather was more manipulative and more stubborn than my dad. The old man fell and died while trying to escape. The only explanation I have for this is the rules really ain’t the rules.