We planted a tree on the family farm for my grandfather and mother and just poured the ashes in the hole for the tree.fiby41 wrote: ↑Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:02 pmZoroastrians follow a method where the body is eaten by vultures and then left to decompose.Chad wrote: ↑Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:28 pmMy preferred method of body disposal would be to be drug out into the middle of the woods and left for the animals, bugs, and bacteria. Of course, that's probably illegal most places, so the cheapest method is likely cremation along with a few kegs for a party.
37% of Americans prefer cremation iirc. I could dig up the source from my browser history is anyone is interested.You may be also interested in biosUrn, the thing grows one full tree from your remains.enigmaT120 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 14, 2017 5:20 pmI think Riggerjack's idea for old growth forest cemeteries is a great one.
Marriage Trends
Re: Marriage Trends
Re: Marriage Trends
Would you get married if you weren't interested sexually in either sex? Would you even be interested in living with someone?
Men can simulate this by their thoughts within 1 second after ejaculation. Sexual desire is extinguished temporarily. That is the time you should ask yourself whether marriage is worth doing.
Men can simulate this by their thoughts within 1 second after ejaculation. Sexual desire is extinguished temporarily. That is the time you should ask yourself whether marriage is worth doing.
Re: Marriage Trends
Women can simulate this in their thoughts with 1 second after seeing a post-it note saying "Clean me" attached to a kitchen appliance.
Re: Marriage Trends
Funny I married quite a few years ago before I thought about investing/savings/FIRE and before I owned any real assets. When I married, I had "nothing to lose" so to speak. I was young (and admittingly had low self esteem) so when I married my spouse I felt that this was the best it is going to get. I sort of rolled the dice and got incredibly lucky because she is still great. We still get the goosebumps with each other now and than if we haven't seen each other. If I got divorced now, it would really be devastating mentally and financially and set me back through half my investments, child support, and alimony. I'd like to imagine if I ever got divorced, I would #1 never re-marry again and #2 because I'm single now I could drastically cut down the "FIRE number" or the "Stash number" whatever you might call it. Single small apartment close to work would fit my needs nicely.
I would greatly prefer this not to happen, but you never know I guess. I'd like to believe my odds of divorce are generally a lot lower given that the spouse and I are on the same goal with FIRE and we both come from conservative cultures where we "ride or die" together. Both of our parents stuck together despite my parents being in relative poverty and her parents being in true poverty in a foreign country.
On a day to day basis, I don't think about this. In hindsight, I wonder sometimes if I still would of gotten married if I was aware of ERE principals? Maybe or maybe not; I am not sure. Part of me is glad I didn't because I love my wife + kids now even though these variables inevitably increase the time that I am employed. I couldn't imagine life without them though.
I would greatly prefer this not to happen, but you never know I guess. I'd like to believe my odds of divorce are generally a lot lower given that the spouse and I are on the same goal with FIRE and we both come from conservative cultures where we "ride or die" together. Both of our parents stuck together despite my parents being in relative poverty and her parents being in true poverty in a foreign country.
On a day to day basis, I don't think about this. In hindsight, I wonder sometimes if I still would of gotten married if I was aware of ERE principals? Maybe or maybe not; I am not sure. Part of me is glad I didn't because I love my wife + kids now even though these variables inevitably increase the time that I am employed. I couldn't imagine life without them though.
Re: Marriage Trends
Which is cheaper? Marriage and subsequent divorce, possibly multiple times, or chemical castration?
- jennypenny
- Posts: 6861
- Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:20 pm
Re: Marriage Trends
Life isn't all about money and marriage isn't all about access to sex. If I had no interest in sex I would still have married DH.
When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
Re: Marriage Trends
Not many men would say that.
-
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm
Re: Marriage Trends
That's a pretty big IF to stick in front of it! Of course the best situation is to have a truly dependable partnership *and* a big pile of cash. In my sorry case there is one of those two things I'm highly likely to achieve/maintain; and the other I have a vanishingly small chance of achieving. No sense in letting the low fruit fall to the ground and rot while I risk serious harm to myself scaling the precarious upper branches for a piece of fruit that might not even be there.jennypenny wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm
When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
Yes, I am incorrigible.
Re: Marriage Trends
Agreed.jennypenny wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm
When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
And sometimes its better to be lucky than good (at least in my case).
Re: Marriage Trends
Even though my marriage was pretty miserable, I agree that there are some inherent benefits that can't easily be duplicated in less committed scenario. However, that still leaves open the question of whether the sum of the benefits available in less committed relationship(s) PLUS the benefits of being single add up to better overall deal.
-
- Posts: 3195
- Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:09 am
Re: Marriage Trends
I would.jennypenny wrote: ↑If I had no interest in sex I would still have married
Not many men would say that.
Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk. Yes, it does have several cubic feet of storage, and it's free, but that's hardly the point.
If you are in it for the sex, you are just going to be better off single. All relationships have more sex in the first year, so if that is your goal, and for some reason you have to be married to achieve it, expect short marriages.
Re: Marriage Trends
My recent "ex" (as opposed to my first ex ) and I consistently had sex 7 -10 times/week for the entire 3 1/2 years we were together. Obviously, we still broke up for other reasons, but I think if both individuals in a couple include "strive for consistently hawt sex life" in their relationship mission statement, it can happen, given other prerequisites. If I didn't think it could happen, I absolutely would not want to marry again.
Re: Marriage Trends
But would you even be interested in dating at all if you didn't have interest in sex? Can chemical castration drugs be obtained at low cost in certain countries, or even free in countries with socialised healthcare? Your body is tricking you into wanting sex so if you take that out of the equation, the whole dating/sex/marriage thing becomes irrelevant.Riggerjack wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pmI would.
Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk.
Re: Marriage Trends
@radamfi:
Many people with very low sex drives are still interested in romance, simple affection, companionship and the social benefits of being half of a couple. "I" wouldn't choose to marry a man who showed any sort of inclination towards slacking off in the sack, but that doesn't negate my recognition of other possible benefits of relationship. For instance, I have occasionally chosen to continue dating a man who was not a good match for me sexually because I enjoyed doing other things with him, like hiking or talking about books over dinner. I mean, there is a whole range along the continuum from a pure f*ck-buddy to affectionate friend with only occasional benefits.
Many people with very low sex drives are still interested in romance, simple affection, companionship and the social benefits of being half of a couple. "I" wouldn't choose to marry a man who showed any sort of inclination towards slacking off in the sack, but that doesn't negate my recognition of other possible benefits of relationship. For instance, I have occasionally chosen to continue dating a man who was not a good match for me sexually because I enjoyed doing other things with him, like hiking or talking about books over dinner. I mean, there is a whole range along the continuum from a pure f*ck-buddy to affectionate friend with only occasional benefits.
-
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm
Re: Marriage Trends
I know a lot of people who view it the other way around Maybe that's why the statistics don't live up to the romantic ideals.Riggerjack wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pm
Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk. Yes, it does have several cubic feet of storage, and it's free, but that's hardly the point.
Re: Marriage Trends
Cue the Georgia Satellites and stories about free milk and a cow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMFMf9cN64U
-
- Posts: 2283
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am
Re: Marriage Trends
...
Last edited by classical_Liberal on Thu Feb 04, 2021 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Marriage Trends
@classical_Liberal:
"Committed, but not married" could encompass a range of possibilities, but my personal experience has taught me that "forever boyfriend" is not best of all worlds for me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I would prefer "married, but not exclusive" to that option.
"Committed, but not married" could encompass a range of possibilities, but my personal experience has taught me that "forever boyfriend" is not best of all worlds for me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I would prefer "married, but not exclusive" to that option.
Re: Marriage Trends
For the unmarried there are the "Very Good Years": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydcUaTpiHgQ