Marriage Trends

How to pass, fit in, eventually set an example, and ultimately lead the way.
Chad
Posts: 3844
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:10 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Chad »

fiby41 wrote:
Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:02 pm
Chad wrote:
Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:28 pm
My preferred method of body disposal would be to be drug out into the middle of the woods and left for the animals, bugs, and bacteria. Of course, that's probably illegal most places, so the cheapest method is likely cremation along with a few kegs for a party.
Zoroastrians follow a method where the body is eaten by vultures and then left to decompose.
37% of Americans prefer cremation iirc. I could dig up the source from my browser history is anyone is interested.
enigmaT120 wrote:
Fri Jul 14, 2017 5:20 pm
Chad wrote:
Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:28 pm

There will be no traditional funeral arrangements. I hate traditional funerals and really despise graveyards. Why do dead people need land? And, half the time it's really good land.
I think Riggerjack's idea for old growth forest cemeteries is a great one.
You may be also interested in biosUrn, the thing grows one full tree from your remains.
We planted a tree on the family farm for my grandfather and mother and just poured the ashes in the hole for the tree.

radamfi
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:46 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi »

Would you get married if you weren't interested sexually in either sex? Would you even be interested in living with someone?

Men can simulate this by their thoughts within 1 second after ejaculation. Sexual desire is extinguished temporarily. That is the time you should ask yourself whether marriage is worth doing.

7Wannabe5
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Women can simulate this in their thoughts with 1 second after seeing a post-it note saying "Clean me" attached to a kitchen appliance.

BRUTE
Posts: 3797
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:20 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by BRUTE »

fiby41 wrote:
Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:02 pm
37% of Americans prefer cremation iirc. I could dig up the source
badum tish

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Lemur
Posts: 1612
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:40 am
Location: USA

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Lemur »

Funny I married quite a few years ago before I thought about investing/savings/FIRE and before I owned any real assets. When I married, I had "nothing to lose" so to speak. I was young (and admittingly had low self esteem) so when I married my spouse I felt that this was the best it is going to get. I sort of rolled the dice and got incredibly lucky because she is still great. We still get the goosebumps with each other now and than if we haven't seen each other. If I got divorced now, it would really be devastating mentally and financially and set me back through half my investments, child support, and alimony. I'd like to imagine if I ever got divorced, I would #1 never re-marry again and #2 because I'm single now I could drastically cut down the "FIRE number" or the "Stash number" whatever you might call it. Single small apartment close to work would fit my needs nicely.

I would greatly prefer this not to happen, but you never know I guess. I'd like to believe my odds of divorce are generally a lot lower given that the spouse and I are on the same goal with FIRE and we both come from conservative cultures where we "ride or die" together. Both of our parents stuck together despite my parents being in relative poverty and her parents being in true poverty in a foreign country.

On a day to day basis, I don't think about this. In hindsight, I wonder sometimes if I still would of gotten married if I was aware of ERE principals? Maybe or maybe not; I am not sure. Part of me is glad I didn't because I love my wife + kids now even though these variables inevitably increase the time that I am employed. I couldn't imagine life without them though.

radamfi
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Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:46 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi »

Which is cheaper? Marriage and subsequent divorce, possibly multiple times, or chemical castration?

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jennypenny
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Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:20 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by jennypenny »

Life isn't all about money and marriage isn't all about access to sex. If I had no interest in sex I would still have married DH.

When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.

radamfi
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:46 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi »

jennypenny wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm
If I had no interest in sex I would still have married
Not many men would say that.

IlliniDave
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by IlliniDave »

jennypenny wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm

When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
That's a pretty big IF to stick in front of it! Of course the best situation is to have a truly dependable partnership *and* a big pile of cash. In my sorry case there is one of those two things I'm highly likely to achieve/maintain; and the other I have a vanishingly small chance of achieving. No sense in letting the low fruit fall to the ground and rot while I risk serious harm to myself scaling the precarious upper branches for a piece of fruit that might not even be there.

Yes, I am incorrigible. :D

Dragline
Posts: 4436
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:50 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Dragline »

jennypenny wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm

When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
Agreed.

And sometimes its better to be lucky than good (at least in my case). ;)

7Wannabe5
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Even though my marriage was pretty miserable, I agree that there are some inherent benefits that can't easily be duplicated in less committed scenario. However, that still leaves open the question of whether the sum of the benefits available in less committed relationship(s) PLUS the benefits of being single add up to better overall deal.

Riggerjack
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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:09 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Riggerjack »

jennypenny wrote: ↑If I had no interest in sex I would still have married
Not many men would say that.
I would.

Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk. Yes, it does have several cubic feet of storage, and it's free, but that's hardly the point.

If you are in it for the sex, you are just going to be better off single. All relationships have more sex in the first year, so if that is your goal, and for some reason you have to be married to achieve it, expect short marriages.

7Wannabe5
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

My recent "ex" (as opposed to my first ex ) and I consistently had sex 7 -10 times/week for the entire 3 1/2 years we were together. Obviously, we still broke up for other reasons, but I think if both individuals in a couple include "strive for consistently hawt sex life" in their relationship mission statement, it can happen, given other prerequisites. If I didn't think it could happen, I absolutely would not want to marry again.

radamfi
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Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:46 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi »

Riggerjack wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pm
I would.

Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk.
But would you even be interested in dating at all if you didn't have interest in sex? Can chemical castration drugs be obtained at low cost in certain countries, or even free in countries with socialised healthcare? Your body is tricking you into wanting sex so if you take that out of the equation, the whole dating/sex/marriage thing becomes irrelevant.

7Wannabe5
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@radamfi:

Many people with very low sex drives are still interested in romance, simple affection, companionship and the social benefits of being half of a couple. "I" wouldn't choose to marry a man who showed any sort of inclination towards slacking off in the sack, but that doesn't negate my recognition of other possible benefits of relationship. For instance, I have occasionally chosen to continue dating a man who was not a good match for me sexually because I enjoyed doing other things with him, like hiking or talking about books over dinner. I mean, there is a whole range along the continuum from a pure f*ck-buddy to affectionate friend with only occasional benefits.

IlliniDave
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by IlliniDave »

Riggerjack wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pm

Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk. Yes, it does have several cubic feet of storage, and it's free, but that's hardly the point.
I know a lot of people who view it the other way around :lol: Maybe that's why the statistics don't live up to the romantic ideals.

Dragline
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Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:50 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Dragline »

Cue the Georgia Satellites and stories about free milk and a cow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMFMf9cN64U

classical_Liberal
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Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by classical_Liberal »

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Last edited by classical_Liberal on Thu Feb 04, 2021 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

7Wannabe5
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@classical_Liberal:

"Committed, but not married" could encompass a range of possibilities, but my personal experience has taught me that "forever boyfriend" is not best of all worlds for me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I would prefer "married, but not exclusive" to that option.

Dragline
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Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:50 am

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Dragline »

For the unmarried there are the "Very Good Years": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydcUaTpiHgQ

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