The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Where are you and where are you going?
User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:45 pm

Hello world.

I'm starting a journal to try to make sense of life and learn from the experiences of other users.
Thank you for reading on and I invite anyone to please comment.



BACKGROUND:


SCHOOL:

University was a four year grind/party. Failed my first two midterm exams in first year and had an... intense afternoon of thought (seriously). Over the course of a few hours, I decided to finish the degree. I graduated at 21 with no debt* At time of writing I am 23 and have been working full-time for 16 months.

*My parents paid tuition. I paid living expenses. I often feel irrationally guilty about this even though it was no hardship to them.


WORK:

Varies week to week. Lately, the bad weeks outweigh the good. I make $44/hr and am charged out at $110/hr. I'm working towards getting my professional license as the next step in increasing my income.

Engineering has morphed into project management and memo writing. I'll be honest with myself in that I never was the strongest technical engineer. I typically took leadership/big picture roles in all my design projects so maybe this was for the best?


HEALTH:

Diagnosed with celiac disease at 11. (Had you heard of what gluten was in 2004?) Become involved volunteering with celiac disease associations until it becomes well known years later. This probably quietly influenced (s) my personality more than I can realize.

Keep fit playing hockey, skiing, running, working out at home, yoga at home, curling, hiking, kayaking etc etc.


FINANCE:

I spend about $1600/mo between rent, food and misc. I do not keep a budget but rather evaluate each expense by itself. My net worth is $65K. I'm working hard on reducing living expenses and increasing income. My biggest challenge has been spending less while among high rolling friends.

All values are in Canadian dollars.

I index 2/3 of my portfolio. 1/3 in total market u.s.a and 1/3 in international developed markets. I manage the last 1/3 in Canadian markets.


HOBBIES

Renaissance man of hobbies. I'll try virtually anything. Home brewing gluten free beer and baking gluten free bread have been my latest endeavors. This spring I would like to setup an indoor/patio garden for my downtown condo. I'm thinking tomatoes and jalapeno peppers would be a good start?



Note: I did a massive edit to reduce the length of this first post. Writing is hard. I continue to edit for grammar...
Last edited by distracted_at_work on Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:04 am, edited 6 times in total.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:59 pm

I fractured my fibula playing hockey last week. I'm forced to keep weight off my left leg for the next six weeks minimum.

No surgery required, according to Doc #1, so there is a plus!

This is my first bone break and the lack of mobility has been EXTREMELY frustrating. Hockey, skiing and curling are all done for the season. Thankfully, the people at work have been super accommodating and I will be able to work from home until I choose not to. Being indoors for the past four days has started to drive me a bit stir crazy. I've been reading A Brief History of Time / The Universe in a Nutshell to try to make the most of it. Alongside healthy doses of Netflix of course :lol: If anyone has recommendations for programs or books, I would gladly accept them.

Nothing makes one appreciate good health like losing it..
Last edited by distracted_at_work on Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:00 am

I left the apartment to pick up a few reference materials I needed to work from home yesterday. In the hour I was in the office I surprised with a 2nd bonus; worth about 2.5 weeks work, after tax. Combined with high work hours in January, I'm going to have a massive injection to the investment account incoming...

I'm tentative with any buys, I see others writing covered calls and moving into defensive positions. I haven't done anything like that yet. I'm not sure it matters as I'm towards the beginning of my accumulation years?

I've got nothing but time this morning so.. beer recipe!

Gluten-Free Full-Mash German Lager

Ingredients

6 lbs (2.7kg) pil style malt barley
4lbs. (1.8 kg) munich malt
½ lb (225g) aromatic malt
½ oz. (14 g) perle hops (boil start)
1 oz. (28g) hallertau hops (10 minutes)
Irish Moss
German yeast
White labs clarity ferm - for gluten reduction
1 cup dextrose bottling


O.G 1.053
FG 1.012
5.3%


-Begin heating up water before anything else starts (applies to electric stoves). Had time to bottle beer beforehand and sanitize and order pizza (for helper) and drink and bake buns.

-2.7 GAL of 61.5 C water to grain in mash tun
-30 minutes
-Add 5 quarts (5l) boiling water
-Hold at 68 C for 30 more minutes
-Raise to 70 C for 10 min
-Recirculate and transfer to brewpot
-Sparge with 2.5 GAL at 76 C
-Fill brewpot, use remains in tub to replace as water boils off

-added 100g maltodextrin at 60
-added a “lil bit” of sweet orange at 10 minutes

-boiling a lil bit of extra wort to bring up volume cause pot is small at end
-topped up with water to 20 L
-gravity reading was exactly 5.3% on ending

-cooled in ice bath
-add yeasts and clarity ferm at room temperature

The astute will notice the recipe has roots in The Joy of Homebrewing Book with a few minor but key changes. The fancy stainless steel pots came with our furnished place. To build your mash-tun follow this popular mechanics article, it saved me around 50% the price of a fancy (and too large for apartment) mash-tun. http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/ho ... -mash-tun/

Total aside but the buns I baked that day were my finest creations yet.

Image

Image

Image

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:04 pm

I'm moving right along with another journal post today. I find I've been getting work done extremely efficiently from home so I have lots of time on my hands. Unfortunately, I remain bound to a chair.

Privacy

I'm amazed at the open sharing that happens on this forum. Have personal finance forums not been targeted for identity theft? They must not be for the sharing continues. I'm stuck in an old mind set of never speaking of personal finances and never sharing personal details on the internet. The final edit on my original journal post (yes there are six of them) added my networth and expenses. God that was hard to do. I had to purposefully distract myself from the post to allow it to sink in and realize the world wouldn't end.

The pro-bloggers can make a living off of sharing the details about their finances. What motivation exists for a shmuck like me? Must be for accountability. Or in better words, to show how bad I am at ERE aha. It wasn't long ago when I was proud my credit card bill was under $2K. When I sort through my taxes for the year I will add a detailed financial breakdown of 2016. I'd like to graph that year and show where certain events happened. Such as, finding MMM, buying bike, getting raise, moving out, finding ERE etc etc.

Writing the future

Different line of thought on this. I was having a discussion with a friend last summer and it was extremely interesting to me. He said he doesn't keep a journal due to the propensity for things you write down to come true. I thought about it and remembered digging up my forced-to-write English class journal from 16. It predicted my future school. It predicted my major. It predicted that I would barely get into both. What the fuck?

He argued since I wrote it down my life was, unknowing to me, predetermined. He didn't want to live like that because he wanted to be able to turn on a dime and chase a new goal if the situation called for it. Was he right?

I've been writing fairly consistently since 18 and I think his hypothesis holds. Anything I write down tends to come true. Do I know myself really really well? Or is there some sub-conscious part of the brain the holds onto those words and guides my actions towards them.

That leads me to think that I need to stop living for goals. Not that I don't live in the moment but it's a living that always has had a light at the end of the tunnel.

Better way to put it. I'm driving a car and I can take a million different paths between Point A and Point B. No matter what though, I always end up at the Point B I set out for when I left Point A. So far, I've never had the courage to change my mind midway and go over to Point C. Does that make any sense at all?

NickHalden
Posts: 45
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2015 3:48 am

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby NickHalden » Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:29 am

distracted_at_work wrote:I'm moving right along with another journal post today. I find I've been getting work done extremely efficiently from home so I have lots of time on my hands. Unfortunately, I remain bound to a chair.

Privacy

I'm amazed at the open sharing that happens on this forum. Have personal finance forums not been targeted for identity theft? They must not be for the sharing continues. I'm stuck in an old mind set of never speaking of personal finances and never sharing personal details on the internet. The final edit on my original journal post (yes there are six of them) added my networth and expenses. God that was hard to do. I had to purposefully distract myself from the post to allow it to sink in and realize the world wouldn't end.


Funny that you are getting work done efficiently from home - as I tend to have the opposite. Even though I am able to work from home one day a week I choose to go to work :)

Anyways, the open sharing is not all that open I guess. There are few people that you can look up by name, but most are aliases. Identity theft is not really a thing in forums I guess, all they could figure out is an alias with some kind of statistics on their finances. There arent really any bankaccount numbers or other really personal details here. The biggest risk I personally take is posting images of my home renovation in some other forum, and in theory someone might be able to derive from the imagery where my home location is. Ofcourse they then know exactly what kind of stuff I have in my home and maybe break in or something. But I have decided that that risk is extremely small, plus I do not really have extremely valuable stuff visible in my photo's and I blur out faces of visible people.

So in the end there is nothing here really that is worth stealing in terms of information. I might get to know that someones net worth is crazy high, but then again what am I going to do? It is not like they keep it stashed in cash under their mattress. The worst thing that I can imagine is trying to befriend that person and extract information using social engineering skills, but that is quite far-fetched.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:50 am

NickHalden wrote:
Funny that you are getting work done efficiently from home - as I tend to have the opposite. Even though I am able to work from home one day a week I choose to go to work :)

Anyways, the open sharing is not all that open I guess. There are few people that you can look up by name, but most are aliases. Identity theft is not really a thing in forums I guess, all they could figure out is an alias with some kind of statistics on their finances. There arent really any bankaccount numbers or other really personal details here. The biggest risk I personally take is posting images of my home renovation in some other forum, and in theory someone might be able to derive from the imagery where my home location is. Ofcourse they then know exactly what kind of stuff I have in my home and maybe break in or something. But I have decided that that risk is extremely small, plus I do not really have extremely valuable stuff visible in my photo's and I blur out faces of visible people.

So in the end there is nothing here really that is worth stealing in terms of information. I might get to know that someones net worth is crazy high, but then again what am I going to do? It is not like they keep it stashed in cash under their mattress. The worst thing that I can imagine is trying to befriend that person and extract information using social engineering skills, but that is quite far-fetched.


With a nod to my handle, at work I do tend to get distracted. I'm generally there for the same amount of time every day so it's easy to push things for "later". At home, I could be doing more interesting things with my time so the motivation is there to get done what needs to get done asap.

That's a great point. The imaginary identity thief would have to do a ton of work to piece together an identity from what's written here. It's completely logical to not worry about it but the stigma remains, for me at least. That may change with time. The very worst I can imagine that it gives an area for "leet hackers" to narrow down potential victims. Even that seems far-fetched.

Jason
Posts: 126
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby Jason » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:15 am

One thing I have learned here is that ERE has nothing to do with the amount of $ one has, it has to do with ratios. And the income/net worth gap here is extreme.

Plus, if I was a professional thief, I don't think I'd case out a site who's federal head brags about wearing 15 year old shoes.

scriptbunny
Posts: 163
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:46 pm

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby scriptbunny » Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:46 pm

distracted_at_work wrote:Or is there some sub-conscious part of the brain the holds onto those words and guides my actions towards them.


This. It's called self-fulfilling prophecy.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:50 pm

Jason wrote:One thing I have learned here is that ERE has nothing to do with the amount of $ one has, it has to do with ratios. And the income/net worth gap here is extreme.

Plus, if I was a professional thief, I don't think I'd case out a site who's federal head brags about wearing 15 year old shoes.


Indeed it comes down to the ratios. In that vein, I calculated my savings rate, not including annual bonus, will be upwards of 70% for February. That's a nice milestone for me as I've spent the last few months in the 60% range. It's a good bellwether month too as I worked almost exactly 160 hours in January. (Work in January - paid in February).

Haha, I agree. This bunch would not the most lucrative targets.

scriptbunny wrote:This. It's called self-fulfilling prophecy.


Would you embrace this? I had wanted to write about my envisioned, post-ERE, future today. Now I'm not so sure aha.

scriptbunny
Posts: 163
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:46 pm

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby scriptbunny » Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:53 pm

Does the future you have imagined for yourself entice you, make you happy? Then embrace it. If not, don't.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:49 pm

scriptbunny wrote:Does the future you have imagined for yourself entice you, make you happy? Then embrace it. If not, don't.


It does. My trepidation comes from the past experience of deciding a future as a teenager, sloughing through and then finding myself on an early retirement forum at twenty three. This may be a grass is always greener type problem. "If I get through this I will finally be happy". Dunno.

I read the Elon Musk biography this past weekend, it's filled with stories of guys my age who worked 10+ hours/day, 6+ days/week to change the world by building spaceships and electric cars. I don't think they ever thought about early retirement. I'd like to find something to be so passionate about.

With that:

Ideas post-ERE

Travel the world (and work remote?)
-Will have professional eng license by then.
-Past week stuck at home (still at home) has proven I can do my job from a laptop and cell phone.
-Protect investments by working enough to pay travel expenses.
-Spend minimum 3-4 months in location to try to keep transportation and housing costs low. Ideally 6 months.
-This assumes no partner or child (dear god) enters my life
-Could start my own consultancy firm and undercut competition. Marketing biggest issue with this.
ALTERNATIVELY
-Quit engineering.
-Work as a bartender, english teacher, ski/surf/whatever instructor or Workaway volunteer for room and board
-Let's parts of investment income to compound.
-Can spend more time working as a Capitalist.

Start a business
-I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur.
-Right now ideas consist of gluten-free brewery/bakery or medical/recreational marijuana dispensary. I know these are "flavour of the month" start-up ideas.
-Start an engineering firm in earnest. I have two ideas for the oil/gas sector that I think would make bank and be ecologically responsible. The responsible thing has become a more important part for me lately. Need more personal experience in the field before I pull this.
-Use investment income to support food/shelter.
-Find some way to balance personal risk and leverage enough to reap gains.

Spend a winter as a ski bum / Hike from San Diego to Canada (PCT)
-I can't defend this other than it would be fun.

Learn enough to build a house
-This is more of a lifetime goal than specifically post-ERE
-Have a dream of finding either a cheap home/piece of land in southern B.C, Van Island, (Washington State or New Zealand?) and turning it into a homestead. I've thought of emigrating from Canada before, topic of another post.
-Goal would be to be 90+% self-sufficient.
-Learn animal husbandry, carpentry, electrical wiring, farming, hunting etc. I assume there are many many unknown unknowns on this idea.

Free time for non-income generating hobbies
-Writing, painting, music, juggling, dnd, reading, competitive sports, outdoors-man skills

I've suddenly realized I may qualify as a hippy..... maybe no spaceship building for me.

Big question to think about, do I need to contribute to mankind somehow to have a successful life? Whether through science, art or otherwise?

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:33 pm

Week 3 of Broken Leg

I've got into a groove of leaving my condo every three days. I've utterly exhausted my work projects. Without sitting in my office my quantity of work on my hands has gone down significantly. I think it has to do with no "drop-in projects" where office passersby will ask me to do something. This has led to an abundance of quasi-free-time I have not experienced since high school. I'll be honest, for someone who usually runs at 100% all the time, it's fucking depressing and demoralizing.

Fortunately, this morning my Dad & Brother visited and we went out for a fancy coffee ($10.50 for 3 drip coffees..........). That was enough to shake me out of the latest funk, return to the blog/forums and to try to engage my brain in a positive way for a bit. Re-reading The mental prison of being poor on the blogroll was especially enjoyable.


Investments

I spent some time investing today. No exciting sells, rather, I bought into PEY, an upstream natural gas exploration and development company. My high level reasoning was that we had a cold winter and I think storage draws will push the price of NG up. Also, management knows how to run a profitable natural gas company, a rarity in Calgary. Lastly, they pay a generous dividend that wasn't cut in the oil&gas plunge of 14/15. I'm long on natural gas, in general, as a solution to coal power and a transition energy to wean humanity off fossil fuel. I'd love to hear if someone thinks I'm crazy. This will be my most volatile portfolio add since last spring.

Current non-indexed portfolio: PEY, SJR.B, ENF, FTS. I'm under-performing YTD so all advice is free :lol:
Last edited by distracted_at_work on Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jason
Posts: 126
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby Jason » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:38 pm

Can you provide a hyperlink to the mental prison blog thing.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:50 pm

No problem.

James_0011
Posts: 164
Joined: Wed Nov 09, 2016 12:00 am

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby James_0011 » Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:54 am

Sounds like we have similar post ere ideas

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:39 pm

James_0011 wrote:Sounds like we have similar post ere ideas


We will have to compare notes then when one of us pulls the trigger on it. I'm at least four years out anyhow.

Last week of broken leg

I'm on the mend. It doesn't hurt to hop around any longer and I should be cleared to start walking again this Thursday! Hooray! Certainly wasn't productive the last three weeks. I gave up trying to find busy work to bill hours to on Thursdays/Fridays and got heavily back into video games. Cleared Fallout NV, The Witcher 3 and got back into Starcraft 2/Overwatch with some of the old high school gaming friends. I've also spent at least an hour a day practicing the piano which has been really nice.

Spending in February was hilariously low. By not leaving the condo I'm going to have the lowest cc bill of my entire life. A grand total $52. Spent on taking my parents out for lunch in exchange for delivering groceries. Of course, that does not include $250 cash for said groceries. All in I spent $1200 this month when I include living costs. Well down from my typical $1600! Now that I know it can be done, I'm incensed to keep it that low. If working full-time that bumps my savings rate into the 80%'s :shock: :shock:

Some relatively major spending decisions coming up. I'm most likely losing my roommate as he moves in with his girlfriend :( I've tried to convince her to move in with us. It would be tight but the savings would be tremendous. I've even offered to keep paying half of rent because I like our current location/condo so much. I've been on the roommate hunt and I'm reminded of how much I hated it. If I need to find a new place to live then it will be a choice of moving into a shared space for around $700/mo or finding my own space for ~$1200/mo. I know what the ERE decision would be but I'm not sure I can do it if pressed. Really hoping I find another roommate by May.

Other decision revolves around cancelling a trip to Nicaragua in April. The leg will dictate that. I'm going as part vacation and part to see how well I can work abroad and keep traveling costs down. Unfortunately, it will coincide almost exactly with our company merger. A million logical reasons not to go but I still very much want to.

Last thing. The last 5 weeks at home has solidified the idea in my mind that if this merger doesn't go through as planned, I'm quitting my job. It's time to move on. 3X expenses (on the extravagant end of living) is FU money in my mind.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:48 pm

I'm walking again
And that's the end of the positivity today. I felt compelled to write down some things that may not relate to ere so bear with me.

Have had, a nearly comically, bad week. A spate of deaths among relatives and close friends. In serious pain trying to rehab the leg. Family and close friends all seem to be out of the country so I'm stuck limping around to buy condolence cards; have not even processed how to get to funerals without being able to drive later this week. The cherry on top was I locked myself out of my apartment last night (the work of ghosts) and had to limp two blocks in the cold to get help.

Back at the office after 6 weeks working from home. The planned merger has hit a gigantic speed bump and I've been left hanging waiting for word one way or the other. Could be waiting, at worst 6+ months, at best 2 weeks. Everyone has been very kind since my return but in reality I'm still working in a job where I could perform adequately in 2-3 days a week. The time spent wasted sitting at my desk looking busy to bill hours has been driving me nuts. I don't know whether to:

Wait it out for an indefinite period of time
Pros: Safe, easy. Still part of a flexible workplace. Professional license roughly a year away. 4% rule retirement 6 years away (no raises, no bonuses), major lifestyle change ere 4 years away.
Cons: Maddeningly unsatisfying. Could be lower pay than other two options.

Change companies/industries for another engineering job
Pros: Can try another industry or work environment. I've never worked for a large corp. Would like to get a job in "the field". Pay could increase or decrease depending on what kind of job. Could try to apply for a job in the United States.
Cons: I don't know if I actually like engineering work. Huge risk of not being able to find a job or taking an equally unsatisfying job at lower pay.

Set out on my own and start a business
Pros: Freedom, following dream yadda yadda. Get to work as hard as I can for my own personal success. Could try to dip my toe and start something evenings and weekends. No commitments to a family, dog or girlfriend right now.
Cons: Risky. Can't finance any full-scale operation myself yet. Would need to balance living on savings and investing in business. I don't feel quite ready. Say goodbye to having time/money for dating. I want to really do this right and it may take 5+ years to make money and therefore kills the year(s) of travel I had in mind.

I've bucked up and ordered a number of books on Amazon (through amazon.ca sorry no affiliate link commission @Jacob) that I want to read/reread. One Million in the Bank, Siddhartha and Meditations. I'm hoping they can help provide some insight.

I can barely walk and still need to find a new roommate for May 1st yet I'm going surfing in Central America in three weeks. Fuck everything.

Jason
Posts: 126
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby Jason » Thu Mar 23, 2017 3:25 pm

For what's it worth, I'm half anticipating a "damn, a shark bit of my broken leg and how is this going to affect my ERE" post.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Thu Mar 23, 2017 4:10 pm

Jason wrote:For what's it worth, I'm half anticipating a "damn, a shark bit of my broken leg and how is this going to affect my ERE" post.


Man this put a smile on my face.... the thing is, with my luck so far this year, it could happen!

Jason
Posts: 126
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby Jason » Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:17 am

Let's say it happens.

Life and Times is out in the middle of the beautiful green ocean, doing his pre-ERE third world thang, jacked to the fucking max, catching some bitchin' big fat my Greek Wedding Mama Cass Costa Rican fucking tubular wave but some shark is taking it all in and sees your gimpy ass leg and this shark says to itself "Fuck that. I'll show that free spirited bitch what bad luck really is" and proceeds to charge in and bite your leg completely the fuck off. Because let's face it, that's what fucking sharks do.

Let's further assume that after the shark rips your leg completely off, he hauls ass out of there with it in your mouth because the water is all bloody and the shark doesn't want to share your now dismembered leg with the other sharks. So there's no chance of re-attachment. Simply put, your never seeing your fucking leg again.

Now as far as ERE is concerned, what's the benefit? Let's say you decide just to crutch around on one leg. Well, now that you only have one leg you obviously only have one foot so now you can throw at least half your shoes away which will create more closet space. And if you live like Jacob Lund FIsker, you only have to re-sole one shoe every thirty years as opposed to two. However, the losing the sock in the dryer phenomenon could be more devastating but considering you're the fanatical ERE type, you probably air dry any ways.

But then there's the phantom leg issue. You feel like you have two legs but you only have one. So you'll periodically lose valuable time during work or your gluten beer making downtime in order to scratch fucking air. That certainly will add up.

However, if you decide to do the Oscar Pistorius thing (notwithstanding the shooting your girlfriend in the fucking head while she's trying to take a dump aspect), you'll have to shell out for a customized prosthetic and that will probably eat into more closet space than all the shoes you threw out. But my understanding is that prosthetics are bigger chick magnets than cute dogs so maybe you'll find some frugal chick who likes one legged dudes and losing the leg won't be such a bad thing after all.

User avatar
distracted_at_work
Posts: 48
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:51 am
Location: Western Canada

Re: The life and times of ... distracted_at_work

Postby distracted_at_work » Fri Mar 24, 2017 12:07 pm

:lol:

Can't blame the shark for doing it's thing. I'd be pretty sour about it cutting short my tubular fucking Costa Rican babe snagging wave shredding vacation though. The ERE benefits start as soon as I'm dragged out of the water really. Rest of vacation and trip home most certainly paid for via insurance!

Prosthetic leg probably paid for by universal healthcare, but even if not, I'll save a ton of money in the long run. Presumably, I quickly meet a (very attractive) girlfriend drawn in by the dark and terrible story of a fake leg brought on by a shark attack. We move in together, saving loads of money on pricey two-bedroom apartments. The time lost scratching the ghost leg is a tough one, I figure it'll be made up for with all the money I'd save claiming medical expenses on my taxes. A few months later we get married (why not?) further reducing my tax bill, pushing the ERE day even closer.

I see nothing but positives here.

Random aside, that batch of beer posted about above turned into far and away the best I have ever made.

2016 $$ Summary

I heard people on this forum like charts and figures and I aim to please. Here's my 2016 summary. I bought A LOT of stuff.

Image

Some context:
- May 2016 read MMM, other pf blogs
- June 2016 buy bicycle
- September 2016 start paying rent
- November/December 2016 read ERE
- Tax return not included in chart


Return to “ERE Journals”