m741's ERE Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
DutchGirl
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by DutchGirl »

I would summarize it as a good month. :-)

Glad that you got all of that tax stuff out of the way. Perhaps for 2014 you can again do them by yourself.

I wish you all the best for April and for your birthday.

m741
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by m741 »

Time for a mid-month update.

I'd like to talk a little bit about Hearthstone (and Poker, I guess). For those who don't know, Hearthstone is a card game created by Blizzard (who also made classic video games Diablo, Starcraft, World of Warcraft). It's an online card game, and plays like Magic: The Gathering.

Typical games take 15 minutes. You can pay for packs of random cards (like other collectible card games), or you can earn 'credits' to pay for packs by winning matches. It has a lot of depth, meaning that the better players will reliably win with high frequency (though, since it's a card game, not 100% of the time). It's possible to string together combos of 4-5 cards in a turn, which is a great feeling.

I was introduced to the game by a former colleague who I'm still good friends with. I like that you can pay for free but still get that little rush from unpacking cards. I have three goals for playing (beyond entertainment):

1. Get accustomed to losing. I've played a lot of games, and for video/online games in particular I feel very uncomfortable losing. It's a weird mindset I've discussed before. I need to get used to losing! So, I kinda hope playing will inoculate me against this fear. It's really easy to start the game and be playing in 1-2 minutes, which is nice. No way to talk yourself out of it!

2. I wanted to get good at a complex game. This was a primary motivation for playing Poker (though unfortunately I haven't played recently). I've played a lot of simple/random games and not many where skill was heavily rewarded.

3. I wanted to get familiar with games of chance. I played a fair amount of chess when I was younger, and I've historically been more comfortable with deterministic, perfect-information games. I didn't have a good feel for odds. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. It's far more random. Card games are a perfect way to think rationally about odds. Personally I think they give you a more nuanced feel for randomness than dice do, which is good, because I hate dice!

I'd recommend Hearthstone. I'm looking to play it pretty regularly.

m741
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by m741 »

Figured I'd do another small mid-month update. A few things to talk about here.

First off, and probably most important, my focus is almost entirely off ERE matters right now. There's a lot of contributing factors, most of which I've talked about at various points. The fact that I could step away takes a lot of pressure off things. There's little value in me saving a few bucks here and there, since I know I can cut back expenses when I do decide to take time off.

Another thing is that, having met someone, and knowing that I don't want to live in NYC forever, I can find ways to justify paying for some experiences. I went to an all-metal BeeGees concert last week. Sure, it cost $30 for two of us. Two years ago, I would have really thought twice about that. Now, I don't.

Is this a bad change? Honestly, it's tough for me to tell. I don't worry too much, though. I'm spending 300-400/month over my baseline on lots of fancy stuff. But my savings rate is still over 65%.

Second. I've been really getting into boardgames lately. Previously I'd play with some friends every two months. Now I try to hang out with them once a month. And I'm playing games almost every week with the girlfriend - usually 2-3 different games and for 3-4 hours a weekend. Hearthstone is a kind of boardgame. I've bought some games recently (Summoner Wars, Rivals for Catan, Ticket to Ride, Pandemic). These can be a bit pricey but sane (usually $20-$30 - cheaper than movie tickets). However, I also caved and bought an iPad ($250 used on Amazon). There's so many board games available for iPad that aren't on Android (which is all I had previously). I like the larger form factor, and I think having an iPad could be useful for work. I still feel queasy about the expense, though.

Aside from that, I'm just super-busy. I'm working longer hours (voluntarily), and spend 2-3 days with the girlfriend each week, so I have very little free time.

Gilberto de Piento
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by Gilberto de Piento »


Chad
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by Chad »

m741 wrote: First off, and probably most important, my focus is almost entirely off ERE matters right now. There's a lot of contributing factors, most of which I've talked about at various points. The fact that I could step away takes a lot of pressure off things. There's little value in me saving a few bucks here and there, since I know I can cut back expenses when I do decide to take time off.

Another thing is that, having met someone, and knowing that I don't want to live in NYC forever, I can find ways to justify paying for some experiences. I went to an all-metal BeeGees concert last week. Sure, it cost $30 for two of us. Two years ago, I would have really thought twice about that. Now, I don't.

Is this a bad change? Honestly, it's tough for me to tell. I don't worry too much, though. I'm spending 300-400/month over my baseline on lots of fancy stuff. But my savings rate is still over 65%.
I don't think this is a bad change at all. Some times I think we get too caught up in how much we are saving. Just because we can quit in 5 years doesn't mean we should. For some of us that's the answer, which is fine, but for others it's a few more years.

Tyler9000
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by Tyler9000 »

When I got my iPad I also tried using it for work for a while. Eventually I realized it was more of a distraction than an aid, and left it at home. I've never missed it at the office. It's nice to have around the house, though, so I've accepted that it's simply a nice casual entertainment device and have given up on the "it's totally a productivity tool" self-justification.
Is this a bad change? Honestly, it's tough for me to tell.
IMHO, the fact that you're conscious of your decisions means you'll be fine. When what you're spending no longer feels worth it, just stop. While it's adding to your life, continue doing it and don't over-think it. One thing I've had to adjust to in my ERE journey is not to define myself by my spending level. In my excitement to cut back, I think I over-corrected for a while. I still have to catch myself sometimes when I over-analyze "frivolous" spending like a single dinner out with friends we haven't seen in a year.

LonerMatt
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by LonerMatt »

Sounds like a change for the good. A while I go I wrote something that was basically like "anti-materialism here gets so strong people remember that exchanging money for things/experiences isn't evil in of itself".

I find myself a lot like you - I spend more on food/experiences than I need to, and there's definitely some waste. I'm not celebrating it, but I know I can go without if I want to (have done before), I just don't want to go without currently, I'd be a less happy person.

I think that needs to be a bottom line: happiness - if you're finding yourself happy why change things?

CLE
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by CLE »

I just took a look at the chart you posted in January, and it seems your theoretical income exceeds your expenses. maybe the feeling that you've lost focus is because you are already there.

With a 65% savings rate and already being FI, I wouldn't beat myself up. If your peak spending level has increased by a few hundred bucks a month, it doesn't seem like it will take long for your savings to catch up.

Either way, I've really enjoyed reading your story. I can really relate to you and the other programmers who post here.

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Chris
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by Chris »

CLE wrote:maybe the feeling that you've lost focus is because you are already there.
^This.

Dude, do whatever you want*. Build a railroad from Seattle to Montreal! Find the vaccine for the blue virus!

*Oh, but be wary of hedonic adaptation

m741
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by m741 »

April 2014 Update

First off, thanks to everyone for the comments. I'm definitely a bit looser with money - most of it is going to board games and iOS apps (and dinners out). It doesn't bother me, just a change to note. As people hypothesized, there's a connection between lack of focus at work, and crossing the FI line. Anyway. To April!

I'll start with the finances. My expenses were just over $2400 this month, and part of a general upward trend (which I expect to continue next month with a small trip - more on that later). Dividends, too, were down after the monster month I had in March. That's to be expected.

The market feels increasingly overvalued to me, and as a result I've been buying more bonds/utilities/indices/gold than before. This is reflected in the relatively modest increase in expected monthly dividend info ($40.50/month). Big purchases included AFL, VPU, VGLT.

I did see a sizeable bump in net worth, as my tax returns totaling $6400 came in. I expect this is due to only working part of last year. As a result of that and market moves, I saw my net worth jump about 15k.

Outside that... I've been very busy with work, and kinda lazy outside work. In my free time after work, I've mostly been playing Go and Hearthstone. The girlfriend and I will be taking a trip to DC this upcoming weekend. I'm hoping we'll be able to travel in the summer (Italy is one place I've been considering), but I wanted to do a short trip first in case anything went awry :).

Work goes back and forth, as usual. I'm certain now that the programmers my current team, at least, is far stronger than any other teams I've worked with. The bottom 50-60% of programmers I worked with in finance simply don't exist at this tech company. Of course, that makes me a middle-of-the-pack developer, something that's uncomfortable for me.

That's about it. I really haven't done much outside being lazy, and spending each weekend with the girlfriend. So there's not a whole lot I can complain about!

JasonR
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by JasonR »

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Last edited by JasonR on Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jacob
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by jacob »

So the March cycle is your biggest? Me too. My weakest months comprise the February cycle :-P

Preference: Big fish, small lake? (complacency, relaxed) Small fish, big lake? (stress, opportunity to learn)
[refer to http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... ll.svg.png Where do you prefer to be? ]

Spartan_Warrior
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by Spartan_Warrior »

Ah, a fellow FartStoner. My blizzard ID is #1726 (MQNSTER). Feel free to add me, but I probably won't be much use in your goal to adapt to losing. On the bright side, I could always use more help in that regard, myself. ;)

My GF plays it more (and better) than me. She's #1479 (Mulder).

m741
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by m741 »

@jacob - I was a big fish in a big, sparsely populated pond (big, talent-poor company). Now I'm a little fish in a big pond. In terms of technical environment went from 'relaxation' to 'arousal' zones, but my preferred zone would be 'control'. (Politically, I went the opposite direction, from anxiety to relaxation). I'm starting to adapt, though.

@SpartanWarrior/JasonR - I'll have to add you guys. There's plenty of things to complain about in Hearthstone :).

workathome
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by workathome »

You guys are kinda jerks. You mention this Hearthstone game... so I download it and wasted like 4 hours today playing it ;-D

m741
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by m741 »

May 2014 Update

Woo, May! Hard to believe that we're almost halfway through 2014. It's passed faster than any year I can remember. I'll jump right in.

I actually didn't track my expenses for May. I think it was pretty bad, and a big goal for June is to reign things in.

As far as income, I received exactly $700 from dividends. I also invested enough to bump my estimated monthly dividend income $60 to $920. That's starting to be really livable for me, and I've still got a lot that hasn't been invested yet. My net worth also rose $12k for the month, which is really surprising... but I won't complain. I've saved or earned about $90k from investments since I started working again.

It's sometimes difficult for me to consider the amount of dividend income I'm able to pull in, particularly the amount I increase each month. Even the increase is a very tangible number; the total is pretty shocking. It's the one new year's resolution I've really stuck with, and I've seen my predicted income rise from $550 to $920 in the course of 6 months. June should be a very big month as I'm scheduled to get quarterly dividends from the mutual funds, which comprise my largest holdings.

Outside finance, I've just been super busy, mostly with work. We have an initial release scheduled towards the end of this month, and there's been a strong push for that. The pressure isn't off after that, as we have another incremental release soon after, but I anticipate a quiet summer afterwards. I've been working 11-12 hours a day, about the same as what I was working in finances. But at least I can program all day and don't have to deal with political bullshit. I'm tired after work, but it's easy to keep some distance at home. I haven't lost sleep over work emails like I used to.

Aside from that, I've been busy with the girlfriend each weekend. We did a trip to DC and various musical events. Last weekend we went to a park, and we play board games almost every weekend. I've been buying a fair amount of games this year, and I'm starting to reach a point where there's a lot of options to pick from, so I think it'll taper off. I think I'll wait to buy more games until each game has 10-15 plays - I track all plays in a big spreadsheet. (Recent games include Mr Jack, Jaipur, Ticket to Ride Netherlands, Citadels, Hanabi).

So, that's about it. I don't have much time to pursue any of my interests right now. I'm looking forward to things calming down in a bit and being able to relax.

DutchGirl
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by DutchGirl »

... There's a Ticket to Ride Netherlands? Cool!

The market has been doing very well this month, I guess that explains some of the $12k rise in your net worth. Good luck with work, and I am glad that you also have some time to enjoy life with your girlfriend :-)

m741
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by m741 »

@Dutchgirl: Yes! Ticket to Ride Nederland is really good. It feels very different from the normal TTR, since there's a good reason to claim routes early. It's cheap, if you like the others, I think you'll like it as well. The only problem for us is pronouncing the city names. Amsterdam, Rotterdam are all well. But 's Gravenhagen, Enschede, Lelystad. Feels like I'm butchering them.


I've been feeling pretty stressed recently, and I can't put my finger on why. Politics at the new job is minimal, and that was the biggest factor in my stress before. So I'm certainly less stressed now than say, 18 months ago.

I think there are a few reasons:
1. I'm definitely a mid-range developer in the new job. So I feel like a little fish in a very big pool. Furthermore, I feel like I wasted 2-3 years at the previous job, learning nothing and just collecting a paycheck. In retrospect, that was a mistake, and I feel like I've "fallen behind." Maybe that's solipsistic... or overly competitive, but I can't help it.
2. We just went through a ~2-3 month push to prepare a release. I was working long hours (11-12 a day). But this is roughly the same as the hours I used to work. So it feels strange to be this exhausted. I have some suspicion that I'm still "burned out," but that's all self-diagnosed. Or maybe I'm "out of shape" and not used to working so hard? Either way, I'm still recovering from that push.
3. I have a lot of difficulty moderating my work. I worked a lot harder for part of those 2-3 months than I needed to. And now that I have less to do, I feel stressed about that!
4. I've been going through a pretty big lifestyle change. I used to spend almost every weekend on my own, sleeping or being lazy. But now I do things almost every weekend. Of course I have a great time, but I wonder if I'm still adjusting to that.
5. My health has been pretty bad lately. I have a bit of pain in my ankle that worries me out of running (I'm hoping to hop on an elliptical soon but haven't had time). My back gets sore, and I've put on some weight. I'm working on addressing this.

spoonman
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by spoonman »

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling stressed lately. The fact that you've put in 11-12 hours each day is probably the dominant factor, maybe more than you know. The month of may was hell for me, I worked my ass off for an impossible project and ended up getting sick at the end. Most of my anger has worn off now, so I think in time you'll be able to reach a new equilibrium as well.

DutchGirl
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Re: m741's ERE Journal

Post by DutchGirl »

I don't know you well enough and I don't know the job you had or the one you have now, but it could very well be that your previous job wasn't challenging enough and that you could have learned more quicker at another job. But you cannot change that anymore, right now, so please be kind to yourself, and just work from your current situation, no matter how you got there. It could also explain why 11-12 hour shifts at your current job are much harder than the same hours of work at the old job. Your brain needs to do way more in those hours than before.

I'm not sure whether you could take a week off work... But perhaps you could propose to your girlfriend to have a lazy weekend next weekend? Visiting a spa comes to my mind as well, that environment is meant to be relaxing...

I also notice that I get stressed when I make long hours for a longer period of time. And the stress doesn't wear off immediately once the busy period has passed. It really needs some time.

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