Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Where are you and where are you going?
halfmoon
Posts: 697
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Pagliaccio, Brazilian, 22 < X < 28 years old, hard mode.

Post by halfmoon »

@Pagliaccio, I woke up this morning wondering how you're doing -- then here is a new post from you! :D

Congratulations on the progress you're making. I just re-read your journal, and I want to reiterate that you're an excellent writer with a fascinating story. I know you're focused on the government job right now, but please keep writing either here or just for yourself. If you were to write a book or a blog, I would definitely read every word. It's not just the story but the vivid and insightful way you tell it.

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Pagliaccio, Brazilian, 22 < X < 28 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

@Jason: Thank you very much. I spend most of my waking hours reading, so I guess my vocabulary could not help accruing new words by osmosis after a while.

Anyway, thanks to the scarcity of my resources, I was spared from most of the refined ways of making things harder on me—although my creativity did compensate—but I know exactly what you mean.

However, the feeling of being a fraud, or "defective," disappeared altogether once I stopped longing for the traits others exhibited—they have their path for growth, I have mine, and I like what I got. I am at ease in this regard.

Of course, I have never been in a successful position to know whether or not I would feel insecure, but I doubt it—as it is, I have endured enough hassle for a lifetime, and in any case I think I am too Raskolnikovian for my own good.

@halfmoon: Well, considering how delightful your posts are, your own writing skills should likewise be praised—and I plan to read your entire journal, sequentially, as soon as I can take vacations from Brazilian legislation. Meanwhile, I am striving to hone my expression, even because part of the exam is a dissertation.

It was really nice to take a break and find your words of encouragement, so thank you very much. Know that I am cheering for you and praying for your success as well.

Jason

Re: Pagliaccio, Brazilian, 22 < X < 28 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

Ok. Hang in there. Things might not get better but they will end.

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Pagliaccio, Brazilian, 22 < X < 28 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

Jason wrote:Ok. Hang in there. Things might not get better but they will end.
Indeed, I thank God for that.

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

I decided to take a different approach to some things, including this forum. Although having a pseudonym seems to be the common usage here, my old nickname is thankfully becoming more and more of an inaccurate portrait as I make progress in some areas.

halfmoon
Posts: 697
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by halfmoon »

Welcome back, Lucas! I'm glad you're sticking with us. Speaking for myself: your eloquently-expressed life experiences and perspective have been very valuable. :)

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

@halfmoon: I have very much to learn from all of you; what concerns me is whether I will be mature enough to benefit from all that this forum has to offer, without letting myself be too carried away.

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

I figured that if you lived in Brazil and things were bleak you'd just go to the beach and watch the biggest butt competitions.

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

Jason wrote:I figured that if you lived in Brazil and things were bleak you'd just go to the beach and watch the biggest butt competitions.
There was an episode of "My Wife and Kids" in which each child described what it would be like if theirs was the "perfect dad." As her dream of a papa, the youngest daughter came up with a Barney-like blue dragon, who would materialize out of nowhere to sing merry songs—fun was neverending in her imagined household. But then her father described how that fancy would actually pan out; it went along these lines:

Girl comes running inside, crying:
"Dad! Dad! I've hurt my knee!"
Jolly blue dragon pops into existence:
"Ohhhhh, let's sing a song so the mean hurt goes away!"
"But, dad! It hurts! I need a bandage!"
"No, you need to sing and dance!"
"It's bleeding!"
"Sing harder!"

Perhaps... Not having forgotten that scene after all these years may have played a part on my becoming such an anomaly as to consider the famous rear-gazing tropical solution, so often associated with my country, ineffective as a treatment for neurological and financial ailments?

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

From the little I know about your country, I just assumed it was a better option than drinking coffee or starting a soccer riot. And you don't seem like an Amazon river type of guy.

I was just trying to cheer you up, albeit in the brutish, quasi-racist manner you would expect from your typical American.

Semi-apology aside, tell me about the biggest butt you've seen.

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

And just in case it hasn't been clarified, female butt.

ether
Posts: 263
Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:50 am
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Contact:

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by ether »

Lucas! Keep it up and know that you deserve that job and a happy life! If anyone can escape the Favela it's you!

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

@Jason: You did, I actually enjoy writing jocular posts like the last one—yes, that was an example of my special brand of humor; it is... an acquired taste. And my skin is thick, so political incorrectness hardly bothers me—moreover, my standard is high: I have once met a foreign guy who seriously believed that Brazilians lived in trees, which is kind of hard to top, right? And in any case, truth be said, one could not completely deny the accuracy of your remark, both metaphorically and literally—in this country we have our share of singing blue dragons, and boy do they generate dividends! But, like I said, I am an anomaly, I am not really into talking about bodily parts, thus I will respectfully decline to answer your last inquiry.

@ether: Thank you very much for your comment! I think I have got more than I bargained for—while still young, I have realized many mismanaged things in my life before it was too late; I think I have now at least a chance of doing well in some areas. I am not sure about deserving, I do believe I have exactly what I should expect given the way I had lived up to recently—and just yesterday I saw a picture of Clint Eastwood holding a shotgun, captioned "deserve ain't got nothin' to do with this," and the image is still with me—but, God willing, I will put my best effort towards the happy life. Again, thank you very much!

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

Hold it. So you're saying you don't live in trees?

But isn't that the best place to look at all those big butts?

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

@Jason: I do not think so. Well, at least I think I would have noticed by now—who knows? And I have never considered the logistics of the matter to provide you with details regarding best observation positions.
Last edited by Lucas on Sun Mar 26, 2017 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

Come to think of it, you might have point and that's why they have everyone looking up at the dancing girls in the strip clubs.

At least that's what my friends tell me.

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

After what may have been my first actually productive week in my entire life, I have suffered a major setback. I have a huge liability, and I do not know how to eliminate it without jeopardizing most of the systems I cannot do without at this juncture, but inaction will produce the same disruption or worse.

Some of my plans are also in need of re-calibration. For instance, working with the idea of getting a degree in order to, borrowing from BRUTE's words, become a highly desired immigrant, I had assumed I could do that for free by studying in a federal institution, but I forgot about their schedules—taking classes in the morning and the afternoon would inviabilize holding a job in parallel.

I have considered some ways of turning the above into a source of opportunities, but I would have to change my entire project; nevertheless, although the road would be harder, I believe that the reward would be far greater over the long haul than that of what I previously had in mind. I have also had some interesting ideas about how to deal with what I currently perceive to be far more relevant concerns.

But I have more pressing concerns at the moment, beginning with establishing some income streams in order to get my degree without incurring any debt—rather being able to invest in the meantime. Being approved in the government admission exam would take me a long way towards that goal, and I have but a few more months to prepare. I will see how things go from here.

---------------------
@Jason: Then again, I would not know about that.

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

Well Lucas, if you're going to continue to be an obstinate fuck about the whole big butt solution (that seems to suffice for the rest of your countrymen), I'll just pray for you. And I don't want to get into some unseemly theological debate over it. Just let me do it and see if anything changes. You have nothing to lose. Its on me.

Lucas
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:36 pm
Location: Brazil

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Lucas »

@Jason: I have met a number of people over the years who would probably tell you that "an obstinate fuck" is an accurate description of yours truly. In any case, your prayers are welcome—and I will pray for you myself, God willing.

Jason

Re: Lucas, Brazilian, 24 years old, hard mode.

Post by Jason »

Ok. This is what I want you to pray for. You can include things of your own but make sure you work these in:

(1) Money. Tell God I want money. And by money, I mean a shitload.
(2) To help me cut down on my internet porn use. It's getting time consuming.
(3) I want immediate smiting of any and all assholes who throw lit cigarette butts out of their car windows. Who the fuck thinks throwing fire around at high speeds is a good idea?
(4) A fourth season of Deadwood. Or at least a movie. David Milch gambled all his money away so I think there's a possibility here.
(5) To be a better person. Not that I really want to, but it looks good and might help with #1-4.

Thanks.

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