Discouraged and Stressed Out by School

Where are you and where are you going?
Marius
Posts: 257
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 1:39 am

Post by Marius »

(I realize I'm being a bit of a bore and a sourpuss. I'll try to lighten up and be more succinct)
@S "As I posted above, I quit school and I'm doing well."
That's great. :) Steve Jobs and Bill Gates also dropped out and are doing well too.
I suppose it all depends on WHY you drop out. If you want to spend the rest of your life as an entrepreneur, have a realistic business idea and what it takes to exploit it, then you probably have a very good reason not to go to college.

Or if you're a star programmer and think you can stay in IT forever or until you're FI. (the best programmer I know dropped out and is doing fine, he's a genius and I don't think anyone cares if he has a piece of paper to prove it)
But someone who just drops out because he's bored may simply not realize that in the real world the point of college is not to spend four years doing stuff you're passionate about, but to obtain keys that open doors that otherwise would remain closed and would limit your options. I admit that if obtaining those keys requires heavy loans, then it may not be worth it, but in my country and in Gibberade's case it doesn't.
"Those who completed college think everyone should and those who didn't or just skipped it entirely don't think it's so important."
I agree.
But I know some people without higher education who have regrets, and - no disrespect intended - it's my impression that those who tell kids that they don't need to go to college are NEARLY ALWAYS those who didn't complete college themselves.
Some of those who give that advice are succesful entrepreneurs.
But I know cases where less nice motives seem to be involved. One of the dropouts I know tells kids to get a higher education... but not higher than what he achieved "because that's useless". (I think he's just jealous and frustrated)

His wife is an artist and she has literally said that she wouldn't be able to tolerate that her child would later become more succesful than herself as an artist. I wouldn't take career advice from these two... They have many qualities that I admire, but this is what I consider their dark side.
College isn't right for everyone and only a minority can handle it. But don't think twice before dropping out, think a hundred times. Later, circumstances may not allow a second try.


S
Posts: 288
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:02 pm

Post by S »

@Marius I have pretty much the same opinion as you. Going to college is a good default choice. What I dislike is that it's often presented as the *only* way to have a good life when there are plenty of other useful things a young person can do depending on their talents. I view it like giving blanket advice that everyone should buy a house. That is correct for many people but there are other options for housing yourself with different advantages based on your personal situation.
Unlike the people you mention, I don't think going to college is useless at all even though I personally didn't like it. Academics have contributed a huge amount to human knowledge. I appreciate that architects and engineers get a lot of practice designing before actually producing something that gets made. The amount of studying required to have a good understanding of law seems monumental. Of course there are many examples where college is useful.
I might be a bit of a sourpuss too. I know you're just trying to help gibberade out. I think for him staying in school probably is the right choice.


AlexOliver
Posts: 461
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:25 pm

Post by AlexOliver »

"Going to college is a good default choice. "
Unless you'd have to go into five figure debt to do it.


Maus
Posts: 505
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 10:43 pm

Post by Maus »

I suppose the first thing to realize is that the scholarship is a recruitment and retention tool offered by the university for its purposes and not necessarily for yours. Don't make the money the reason why you remain in a program you are not passionate about.
I can empathize with the OP's problem. I started university with a scholarship to study chemistry at a world-class institution. But with professors more interested in research, and teaching conducted by brilliant grad students who barely spoke English, I got lost pretty quickly. Of course, I considered Bs and Cs to be tantamount to failure when in fact they simply meant I was an average student amongst a group of peers who had all been elite at an earlier stage. I knew I had to change majors when my advisor insisted that non-science courses should be taken on a pass/not-pass basis. Of course, those courses in history and rhetoric were the ones I excelled in and had no difficulty acing.
If you want to get into an elite law school or business school, your GPA is going to be a factor. But I can honestly say that no employer or prospective employer has asked me what my grades were. They wanted to know what I'd studied and why to see if my interests alligned with theirs. I didn't get into Harvard or Yale or Stanford, but I did go to a top-tier law school, where I graduated in the bottom half of the class. Were my employment options limited? To a degree, but not as catastrophically as certain elements of society might want you to thin. I think pursuing grades to the detriment of an education is a road to folly.


Frugal Vegan Mom
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:24 pm
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Post by Frugal Vegan Mom »

Hi Gibb,
I can totally empathize with you. I graduated from college in 2005. I was excellent at math and science (and everything else) in high school, but school was HARD for me when I did my engineering degree. I was really off-balance and probably depressed for a good portion of those 5 1/2 years. (Ha, btw, physics was my WORST class!)
For me though, I didn't know any other way. Going to college and getting a job was just what you did. I never thought of dropping out, I was getting my degree and getting a job in engineering, even though I had no idea what that really meant or how my classes applied.
If I'd had some other passion, I probably would've pursued it, but I didn't, so a "good paying" major seemed like the best route.
Don't know what to tell you. If there's any way you can take a break for a year to explore other options and still come back and have a scholarship opportunity, go for it.
Feel free to mail me, I can really, really relate to your position!
K
http://www.frugalveganmom.wordpress.com


EU_US
Posts: 38
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 2:58 pm
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Post by EU_US »

Gibberade,
I am new to this forum, but came across this thread.

Don't drop out school. This for 2 reasons: one is the money you already spent (unless you got grants/sholarships) and secondly because having a degree most likely would help you to get a better job, quicker and be promoted. Well in some places like gov agencies you don't need a degree to get promoted.

College is very different than high school, more study, less fun etc. I have two engineering degrees. The first one I got in Europe and all I can tell you is that it was much harder then in the US. I had to attend school 6 days per week/ 8 hours per day. I wasn't working because it was really hard to keep up with the school and tests were very different than here. The second degree, IT, I got here in the US and it was easy in some ways, but stressful in others. I went to school full time taking all kind of courses (like oposite in structure) that my teachers were amazed I could do it. But I wanted to finish up my school as soon as possible and get a job and I did it. Even I was full time I had a day off of a shool per week when I was delivering phone books. I needed a flexible job and this worked great for me. I was making a few hundreds $ per week which was fine with me since I didn't have bills to pay.

The best job idea though is to get an intership. It will help you a lot and if the employer likes you, it would hire you when you graduate. I got an intership for a large international medical company getting paid pretty good money and I could have continue to work for them as supervisor, but I chose a gov agency over because of their great benefits. I had lots of fun as intern and I wasn't working hard at all, I was doing software testing and a little design too.

There are other few oportunies for you as student: work in a store ( I perosnally hate to work in a bar/restaurant), Mistery shopper: it's flexible, but it might take some time to make money.

Good luck to you!


jerry
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:28 pm

Post by jerry »

I spent 2 years teaching math and cs at a small college in the 70's and I saw a lot of students go through what you are going through. If the things that challenge you most in your major are the least enjoyable, you probably should look for a new major. I think that it is a mistake for most people to pick a major in their freshman year if they can avoid it. Sample what the school has to offer and find out what you really like.

A recipe for an unhappy life is picking a career based on what other people expect of you.

jerry


firefighter
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:03 am

Post by firefighter »

you said you were not into the "skilled trades"
reconsider... to a degree.
stay in school, but

find 10 hours a week and pursue something you're

interested in that's "blue-collar",

hands-on, practical; whether it pays a wage or not.
you're 18 years old, you need to spend some time

away from the books, too.


Kevin M
Posts: 211
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:58 pm

Post by Kevin M »

I'd strongly discourage quitting now, especially with others footing the tuition bill for you. If you quit and end up going back what are the chances that would happen a second time? If your course load is truly too hard, drop a class or 2 and make it up later. Also, you don't really have a better alternative lined up.
Also, this probably sounds lame, but a little stress can be good for you. Personal example - I'm trying to grow my CPA client list but it requires doing things that are uncomfortable to me - networking, marketing, calling attention to myself. I'm like Jacob, I think the work should speak for itself, but sometimes a little promotion is necessary. The end goal for me is to hopefully run my own company in a few years and work when I want to work. A little stress now, nice reward later (hopefully).


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