the animal's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
7Wannabe5
Posts: 2499
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:22 am

@theanimal: I will try to find you a young girl who will live in your cabin with you, if you will try to find me an old man who will live in my camper with me ;) There are a lot of cute, rugged girls in my urban gardening group, or maybe a quiet, romantic artist type who would appreciate the light and intimate circle of companionship? Since I have met you in person, I would not hesitate to make arrangements for direct shipment to your nearest bus or sleigh-stop. Just give me a vague hint regarding your standards and preferences, and I will get started.

Jason
Posts: 187
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:51 am

I would think The Animal could just rip a pair of antlers off the side of his house, trudge on down to the local Eskimo village and trade them for someone's daughter. He would just point to himself and say "Me, The Animal" and flip the Eskimo girl upside down by the ankles and bob her into a fishing hole until she came up with a fish in her mouth. Then he'd hoist her over her shoulder, trudge on back to his cabin and have her cook up the fish while he whittled down his toe nails with a bowie knife. After a brutal consummation, they would be considered married, at least by local standards.

RealPerson
Posts: 615
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:33 pm

Re: the animal's journal

Post by RealPerson » Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:23 am

@Jason. I almost choked on my breakfast reading your posts. They are great. But considering that in pure ERE style I cancelled my term life insurance years ago, my next of kin would be very upset if I really choked. :shock:

@TheAnimal. Your life sounds awesome and incredible at the same time. I sometimes feel that I have to pinch myself when I read about all the stuff you do. All the guys on this forum are drooling just thinking about the fantasy of doing what you actually do. Our testosterone infused brains are dreaming of raw living off the land in the wilderness, but in reality we'd all be looking for the thermostat to turn on the central heating when it gets below 60 degrees outside.

I have been to Alaska. You have a lot of guts to live up there, especially not having grown up in that type of environment. I think you got a degree in Miami. South Beach, bikinis and mojitos come to mind. If that doesn't make you soft like a flan, nothing will. Keep writing please.

BTW The bar where the captain of the Exxon Valdez got drunk before the infamous accident is still operating in Valdez. As an aside, the ship was repaired, changed names and now sails in the Mediterranean. No accident since then as far as I know.

Jason
Posts: 187
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:52 pm

The Animal soon impregnates his Eskimo wife. According to custom, at the beginning of the eight month she returns to her tribe in order to give birth lying naked in the middle of a frozen lake in front of the entire tribe. After the delivery, the tribe's Shaman utters a spell and her vagina is restored to its original circumference in order that The Animal will remain pleased with her. The elders create crib made out of the antlers originally given to them in exchange for The Animals' wife.

Upon her return with child, The Animal opens the swaddling cloth, takes a look and declares "The Gods have given me a boy. I will name him Half-Breed." Upon his second birthday, the Animal destroys the crib and makes a pair of snow shoes and a club for Half Breed to go out and beat fish and small animals to death. Half-breed befriends a baby grizzly bear he names Human and they become inseparable. On his fifth birthday, The Animal dips into his cherished retirement accounts and buys Half Breed a pair of skis and a semi-automatic shot gun and the young boy goes on to win every biathlon competition he enters.

User avatar
C40
Posts: 1700
Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:30 am
Location: Western U.S.
Contact:

Re: the animal's journal

Post by C40 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:07 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:22 am
@theanimal: I will try to find you a young girl who will live in your cabin with you, if you will try to find me an old man who will live in my camper with me ;) There are a lot of cute, rugged girls in my urban gardening group, or maybe a quiet, romantic artist type who would appreciate the light and intimate circle of companionship? Since I have met you in person, I would not hesitate to make arrangements for direct shipment to your nearest bus or sleigh-stop. Just give me a vague hint regarding your standards and preferences, and I will get started.
I need to meet 7wb5 in person. I have met a handful of older men who already like to live in campers, so they may like to live in yours. (guys like these, two of which I'd highly recommend as potential partners.

The RTR ("Rubber Tramps Rendezsous") was full of older single men who like living in campers and who you could surely woo.

biaggio
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Apr 23, 2017 5:31 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by biaggio » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:11 pm

theanimal wrote:
Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:53 am
I've become really interested in developing a strong skill set lately (much more than before) so that my output can get as low as possible whenever I decide to settle down. The major interests right now are hunting, fishing, foraging and small machine repair. And I guess I'm trying to learn more about bikes too. If anyone has any helpful resources in any of those areas, I'd be happy if you sent them my way!
First, sorry for bumping this old post. I've found your journal very interesting and decided to read it from the beginning.

Regarding the helpful resources you're mentioning in the post, I would be glad if you'd share those (assuming you were sent some and/or have accumulated some on your own).

User avatar
bryan
Posts: 568
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 2:01 am
Location: mostly Bay Area

Re: the animal's journal

Post by bryan » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:12 pm

Jason wrote:
Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:52 pm
Man facing the arctic. Man facing himself. This is some fucking compelling bullshit. When you wake up each morning, do you howl like the first fucking man born into the creation, making himself known to all the unknown? And the nights? Do you feel the utter loneliness most normal men go out of their way to avoid?
I would also be interested in @theanimal's inner dialogues. If I remember my own accurately (around waking up early and having to go out into the cold), they would be about like "fucking fuuuuuuuckk". Though I imagine once you get skiing it's alright? That other blog @theanimal linked to was really a good read for that (the dude woke up early and skied for like 22 hrs to get to a bed and avoid having to camp?).

@C40, sounds like we should designate 7wb5's streets and vacant lots as an ERE resort?
Last edited by bryan on Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
cmonkey
Posts: 1425
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:56 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by cmonkey » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:33 pm

I love how this whole conversation is taking place without the presence of said animal, while said animal is probably out.....being an animal! ;)

All while generating 40% last year I might add.

Jason
Posts: 187
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:41 pm

Savings rate aside, on testicular fortitude alone (albeit frozen testicular fortitude) he deserves props.

7Wannabe5
Posts: 2499
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 4:17 pm

@C40: I am a little bit afraid that maybe you think this guy is my type.

http://defyingnormal.com/wp-content/upl ... 24x682.jpg

@theanimal: Please pardon this unpardonable hijack.

User avatar
theanimal
Posts: 951
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:05 pm
Location: Gates of the Arctic
Contact:

Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal » Wed May 10, 2017 4:38 pm

Looks like I missed the party. Thanks for all the support everyone. You guys sure do a good job of feeding my ego :). As I've stated previously, I'm not leaving Alaska, only considering leaving my current position. After examining my alternatives, I am not planning on relocating anytime in the near future. Instead, I will be taking initiatives to make my current situation more to my liking.

My thoughts are mainly profane, they probably aren't as exciting as anyone envisions. There is plenty of time for contemplation and plenty of time for loneliness. Especially in winter. During the race it's more of repeating some type of mantra to keep myself going, drifting off somewhere else, being completely in the moment, or in the morning cursing as I try to get a blistered foot into a frozen boot.

@Jason- Your posts are hilarious.

I got a job as a backpacking/rafting guide with a reputable company in my area. They do mainly week long trips and I can work as little or as much as I want. Fits well in my desire for opitionality.

I spent the past 12 days walking with packrafts along Alaska's Lost Coast, roughly 175 miles from Yakutak to Elfin Cove. I have more details on my blog.

User avatar
bryan
Posts: 568
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 2:01 am
Location: mostly Bay Area

Re: the animal's journal

Post by bryan » Wed May 10, 2017 5:00 pm

Nice blog post!

Finding an ideal touring buddy that is available for all the tours one wants to do is tough. While on the tour, it's best to be as accommodating and pleasant as possible and focus on enjoying the journey!! I'm sure your buddy learned some lessons on the trip as well.

Hoosier Daddy
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:30 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Hoosier Daddy » Thu May 11, 2017 4:17 am

Animal - I go through a similar thing every single winter. I think my job sucks, my life sucks, where I live sucks, etc. and then... the sun comes back! And I realize I thought everything was wrong but in fact it was just seasonal depression. Have you tried UV lamps? Maybe that would help? I can't imagine the darkness of the Arctic in the winter!

Jason
Posts: 187
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Thu May 11, 2017 4:43 pm

I was looking through your pictures. They are compelling. But Is it my imagination, or is the sky closer to land there? It's kind of creepy, like if you looked up, you'd be staring at God's nut sack.

User avatar
theanimal
Posts: 951
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:05 pm
Location: Gates of the Arctic
Contact:

Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal » Thu May 11, 2017 10:08 pm

@bryan- Thanks, that's good advice to follow. Well worth it but it can be hard to put into practice.

@hoosierdaddy- Yes, I've used a light box pretty extensively my first winter here but not this past one. I think I'm definitely susceptible to the seasonal depression and need to be more diligent about using that going forward.

@Jason- The sky definitely appears larger. It's the same as with areas like the plains states. There isn't very much vegetation and the vegetation that is present is usually pretty small, so you have a wide view. Add hills and mountains on top of that and you realize that the clouds you see in the sky often aren't much higher than a few thousand feet up. I prefer skies like these now.

Jason
Posts: 187
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Sat May 13, 2017 2:09 pm

I would have to go through an adjustment period to be used to a sky that close. Its just odd. I mean if your that close to the sky, then you're that much closer to space and who the fuck knows what's going on up there. I have enough problems on earth to worry about that type of shit. That's why I hate science fiction. Its just adding an extra layer of fucked up possibilities. That being said, I don't think there's anything really up there but better safe than sorry. I always had this theory about Stephen Hawkings. He worries about space and time and all that shit because he's all scrunched up in a wheelchair, blinking out bullshit, having most likely completely given up on getting laid. Its either he think about that shit or something else. He's just trying to get as far away from his limitations as possible. Plus all his end of the world predictions kind of seem like sour grapes, like he doesn't want anyone having a good time. I mean unless there's a down on her luck sting physicist out there willing to suck his cock for an academic recommendation, who's going near that guy?

On another note, I'm being terrorized by a wild turkey. It sits out on my fence all day staring at me. When it raises its feather, its fucking frightening. Turkeys are like the Hells Angels of the fucking bird community and I got the turkey version of 1950's Marlon Brando staring me down all day. I'm afraid to go outside. I'd like to feed Stephen Hawkings to the fuckin thing for the sheer irony alone. That would be great. Big brain scientist get's eaten by a fucking farm animal. Wonder what theory he'd come up with to explain that occurrence. But that's just a bunch of nonsense to make me feel better because, to be quite honest, I thinks that fuckin wild Turkey is a portent of my doom.

Post Reply