Slaying the Dragon

Where are you and where are you going?
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landedgentry13
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Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2010 7:03 pm

Post by landedgentry13 »

As I mentioned in my other post, I have often fallen victim to the "just one more..." virus. If I'm earning 40k in passive income, I tell myself that I'll be content at 60k. If I have x number of investments, I'll be content with y number of investments. If I can take a weekend trip to New York City twice a month, I'll be content with *weekly* trips to Paris. Etc etc. I call this "more is better" influence "the Dragon."
I've become increasingly aware of the Dragon as of late, and would really really love to hear how you would go about dealing with this, or how you managed to escape it all together. Does everybody have a Dragon? Are some simply kept at bay?
Do this concern you as well, or are you too far along the path to ERE to bother with such nonsense...


Windfeld
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Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:33 pm

Post by Windfeld »

"Change depends on the unreasonable man." -George Bernard Shaw
I have plenty of Dragons to go around. For example I've been single most of my adult life, in part due to Dragons.

"Well she seems a little hotter, nicer more educated than present company. Maybe I ought (sic) trash this relationship since there are potential upgrades available."
No need to tell me that was wank. I get it.
As a dentist in private practice in Denmark (OMG MyCountry!) I earn a very nice salery. Normal wage for a danish Master of XXX (5 years of university) is around 6.000$ monthly. (Oppressive tax regime then applies). As a dentist I have same length of education as a Master of Dentistry. My first two years I made 10.000$ a month, and this year it's 15.000$ a month, almost three times all my university (non-dentist) peers.
I kept chasing income-Dragons until last year in December when it dawned on me that I was making 12.000$ one month, and they were all gone 30days after. Tax, payment on loans, insurance, union fee, car, rented appartment and random splurges killed 12.000$ in a month. ("Medic!")
I redid my finansial dispositions, sold my car, left the union, scrapped all insurances, curbed splurges by going back to bying like I was a student again. Crowbar maneuver anyone? All excess cash was redirected at paying down loans. That helped tremendously, my average living expenses are now 800$/month, in stead of 8.000+/month and come December I will have paid of debt and saved up a combined total of 60.000$.
In my eyes, this was confronting my finansiel Dragon for the first time.
Second time came May and June, when I made 20.000$ each of those months, but I weren't happy about it. It felt wrong for several reasons. First off the aforementioned tax regime swiped a full 59% of those wages. Secondly, I was going nuts. As a full time dentist, a part time consultant and a volunteer manager of the clinic I was wearing my self out. For what? Having someone confiscate 59% and the using the rest to buy... ...what excactly? In the present I'm still saving up money for ERE, but as a way of living permanently, it was meaningless.
That was my second Dragon slaying. I told my boss I was starting after the summor holidays working only 3 days, and that it was final. Have been working 3 days a week since then and are recovering nicely.
Those were a few of my Dragons. If I should say something in more generel terms about Dragons, I'd say that we all have them as part of our nature, since humans are hopeless improvement-seekers.
"To upgrade is human." -Gregory Stock
What remains then is the "Slaying" of the aforementioned Dragons... To me it's all about diminishing returns to scale on achieving goals and about diminishing value of added consumption/freedom/adventure.
In my search for the Dragons, I look for the question: "Is achiving A amount of B worth the effort?" To answer it you have to have an idea about where you are on the LAC-curve, that is: Is it easy or hard for you to produce A additional amount of B, and what your added value is for having A additional amount of B.
What makes this tricky is the many unknown factors.


akratic
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Post by akratic »

I think about this a lot, about why it seems impossible for me reach a static place where I have enough, where I'm happy without wanting more.
There's a fair amount of psychology research about this. Books like The Happiness Hypothesis and Stumbling on Happiness discuss "hedonic adaptation". Kahneman, Gilbert, Ariely, Diener, etc., have academic publications on it. Even Your Money or Your Life has a significant discussion on "Enough".
My personal explanation for this irrationality of mine is that it was evolutionarily advantageous to never be satisfied, to always want more, to relentlessly improve. This trait is less useful in the modern world where survival and reproduction is easy, but still the trait remains.
My personal solution is to constantly re-examine my goals, and to try to redirect my energies into more useful places. I love jacob's S-Curve model for goal setting. That is, instead of forever wanting a better body, for example, once return on investment in my body starts to decline, start obsessing about something else, like ERE, and after ERE, who knows, but it will be something different at least.
It would be better of course to kill the Dragon outright.
In short, I try instead to be aware of my Dragon and to wield him to my advantage.
I have met some people who seem to have tamed or slayed their Dragon, and they strike me as incredibly calm, relaxed and at peace with the world. But I always lose to my Dragon when I battle him head on.


jacob
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Post by jacob »

I just wrote a post summarizing some of these points.


JohnnyH
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Post by JohnnyH »

My dragon might be fear. Fear of not having quite enough to retire on. Fear of never finding a job as pleasant as I have now... On the other hand fear of missing out on the adventures of "youth" is pushing me harder.*
I've moved the goalposts so many times it's unreal. But each time I was willing, even a little excited, energized. Now, I've reached the other end of the spectrum.
A good indicator might be your tolerance; willingness and ability to take it on. In the past I could easily sign myself up for another X or Y...
Now I feel like it would be a mistake to continue. For reasons financial, health and existential.
*landedgentry: based on readings and preferences from your other thread I think you'd really like "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill... During this post I kept thinking about his ghosts of fear: poverty, ill health, old age, death, loss of love, criticism.


jacob
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Post by jacob »

Stoicism also works nicely in terms of its dragonslaying properties.
If a shift in priorities is needed, read "The Importance of Living".


Q
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Post by Q »

I think one of my Dragon's is self-sabotage. I sabotage my relationships, completion of goals, etc.
It's like finishing is scary.
For sure another dragon is fear of "pulling the trigger". It took awhile to switch to self-managing my 401(k) more, but since doing it this past few months, I have gained about 10k in it and hope to get enough to start Dogs by January inside the 401(k).


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