lilac's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
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jennypenny
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by jennypenny » Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:22 pm

Can you meet your husband at work for lunch? You could bring lunch with you.

I love that you're counting what day you're on!

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Tyler9000
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by Tyler9000 » Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:26 pm

lilacorchid wrote: The husband has decided to try and curb the lunches out. It's a running theme so I'm not holding my breath that things will be a lot different next year. Trying to cut down on eating out has been our major issue since before we got married.
I ate out for lunch every day most of my career up until two years ago. It was an ongoing issue for us as well. Frankly, it makes me cringe today thinking of how wasteful it was. What pushed me over the edge towards bringing my own lunch was a commitment to minimizing expenses for the early retirement goal, but other benefits have sustained it. Here's how I've made it work:

1) I never pack lunch the day before. I simply keep enough sandwich supplies in the work fridge where I can make a meal any moment I think of it with no pre-planning required.

2) I realized one day that I ate out every day not because I really loved the food, but because I just needed to get away. So I don't deprive myself of that. Sometimes I drive home for lunch. Sometimes I go to a nearby park. Sometimes I just eat in my car. With that routine, I don't mind my homemade food at all.

3) I allow myself to eat out once a week. Interestingly, over time my tolerance for certain restaurant food dropped after I stopped eating it so often, so my tastes have changed and sometimes I don't even go that one time. I've definitely lost a few pounds in the process, which is a good reminder that the benefit is more than financial.

4) When others invite me out, I always say "yes". This is fine at my current company, as that request is mostly rare. If coworkers went out every day, I'd probably limit it to the once a week rule. But I make it a point to not be completely anti-social even if it costs a few dollars.

Today, I'm a reformed lunch eater who wouldn't go back.

George the original one
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by George the original one » Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:38 pm

> Today, I'm a reformed lunch eater who wouldn't go back.

I mostly am, but we have 15+ very tempting food carts across the street from my work building and sometimes I just give in to the flavor variations. I'm going to miss that slice of food culture when I retire!

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:13 pm

All great suggestions, but I'm not sure if any of them work. He takes our only vehicle to work and uses it to get from jobsite to jobsite all over the city (hence the extra vehicle expenses this year). He's currently working construction in brand new buildings... no fridge or microwave on the job site. I walk home from work for lunch so I never think about what I'm going to make until I get home. (Lots of days are cereal for me, ha ha!) I'm terrible about packing lunches too... my work/home location is just set up that I'm rewarded with a walk and a bowl of cereal, not punished!

I am pretty sure that he goes out to get off the jobsite as he could eat in our car during the summer months. I may mention that to him to put the thought in his head if this discussion comes up again. I don't know if he ever really thinks he will stop working, so it's not like he is working toward something... more like he's drifting toward it because he is hitched to my boat.

P.S. @jenny - The countdown app gets opened at work quite frequently. I can't believe I'm almost ten percent of the way there!

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:50 pm

900 days left!!! I can't believe how fast 100 days went while feeling like they were taking forever, ha ha. And the markets rallied a bit and we reached our first investment goal!!!

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GandK
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by GandK » Sat Sep 13, 2014 2:25 pm

Congratulations!

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Thu Oct 02, 2014 10:26 pm

Tomorrow is my birthday (DAY 880)! Today I write the post. :P

Update on tyke: Will use bathroom almost entirely by himself. Still needs occasional help, but this is a huge upgrade from diapers and a massive upgrade from cleaning out a small plastic potty.

Life goals from last year:

1. Keep up with sewing and music hobbies - Dropped music due to group breaking up, still sewing
2. Lifestyle adjustment for my health (drop 20-30 lbs as a byproduct) - HAR HAR NOPE
3. Do something fun as a family or couple once a week - also happening occasionally.

Last year's financial goals (added to above) are:

1. Top up RRSP to optimum level - check
2. Cross over into six figures saved up - check (just last week in fact!)
3. Support husband at his final trade level in school - Complete! Helped with #2
4. Get kiddo into cheaper daycare that is even more walkable - Double check.

I managed to go part time for a few months last year on a fabulous project. It's most certainly the crowing achievement of my career at this point. I worked with intelligent, motivated people, and it was WONDERFUL. Where do these people hang out? When can we get together and do something else equally amazing? I feel like a rainbow-shitting unicorn rode through my life and I want it back!

Goals for this year:

1. MOAR FU money. We are in serious downsize mode at work (like 20% over the next 5 years, hopefully people who qualify will retire so the rest of us can keep our jobs...) and I can see the writing on the wall for my industry. I predict cloud computing, which means I will no longer be needed to do diagnosis and hardware repairs on computers. Also, my husband's body is breaking down from the manual labour at his job. Time to start planning, which brings me to...

2. Start looking at the job market/update resume and/or pursue side gig. Side gig may include starting a business or getting (another) trade.

3. Fitness! Seriously, I'm going to be over a hill next year. Kiddo requires less maintenance so I should theoretically have the time do more maintenance on myself.

4. Save all my paycheques. This could be over 50% of our income.

5. Cross something off the "Tee-hee I could never do that!" list. Some ideas would be work at the local radio station, sew some Cosplay and sell it, start a blog or youtube channel, start a cat sitting business, etc.

6. Relax. I am so terrible at this. I think I could use some practice! ;)

Finally, I know it's only 881 days left, but I'm pretty sure I won't make it. Shoot for the moon, land among stars and all that, right? My hard and fast deadline is still four more years away. This gives me a little wiggle room and allows us to save up more and pad the pension before I jet out of there. At that point, I only have to bridge 17 years with my savings before other things start to kick in. This old lady won't be eating catfood after all! :D

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Tyler9000
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by Tyler9000 » Thu Oct 02, 2014 10:35 pm

lilacorchid wrote: I feel like a rainbow-shitting unicorn rode through my life and I want it back!
Ha! Nice image.

Great update. Very inspirational. :D

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jennypenny
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by jennypenny » Fri Oct 03, 2014 7:41 am

Happy Birthday Lilac!

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Sat Nov 01, 2014 7:17 am

Day 851 -

We have decided to split up our finances, so I highly doubt I will be retired in 851 days. :( We are still trying to figure out exactly how to split things up and how to pay for everything. (viewtopic.php?f=16&t=5690)

My savings rate will still be around 50% and up to 70%. But, we also split up the savings, which was what I used to calculate my 1000 days. So no more 1000 days. At this rate, I'm looking at another five years. (Shoot me plzkthx)

My feelings about this are complex. The reason we are separating finances is so he can learn manage his own money which is great, but some of the stuff I was doing (tax savings, etc) won't work so well if we have things split.

I expected some setbacks. This one, not so much.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Sat Nov 15, 2014 9:26 am

I have no idea how many days; I can't bring myself to look at it as I'm feeling pretty setback at this point. It's disheartening to look at my spreadsheet and see half of all the work I put in no longer there. :(

The only good thing is I no longer have to worry about all the fast food expenses from the other half. That's already less than half. I'm just so depressed that I may not hit my goal.

I was going to pick up programming and see if I can farm myself out evenings and weekends. Is that even a thing anymore?

(And yes, I'm still in wound-licking mode. :oops: )

BPA
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by BPA » Sat Nov 15, 2014 10:19 am

Feeling your pain, Lilac. I suspect that if I were still with my spendy ex, I wouldn't be FI right now. He drove me nuts with his spending and insistence that we needed a large single family home with a huge yard in a prestigious neighbourhood and two cars and a bigger dining room table than his SIL.

I did need to "start over" 14 years ago when we split and came to FI, so maybe your "starting over" now isn't so bad and if you love your husband, you get to keep him too. :) I was ready to kill my ex, so splitting up was the way to go for us.

My current boyfriend is spendier than I am (but not like my ex) and we don't even live together even though we've been together for more than 7 years, so there are no disagreements about money.

Good luck to you. Just remember that it only gets better and less stressful from here.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by cimorene12 » Sat Nov 15, 2014 6:42 pm

lilacorchid wrote:I have no idea how many days; I can't bring myself to look at it as I'm feeling pretty setback at this point. It's disheartening to look at my spreadsheet and see half of all the work I put in no longer there. :(

The only good thing is I no longer have to worry about all the fast food expenses from the other half. That's already less than half. I'm just so depressed that I may not hit my goal.
Lilac, seeing half of my work disappear would be very disheartening, and you are entitled to more wound-licking time.

But here's how I would look at it: you've paid up front to mitigate the risk of your SO derailing your FI. Imagine that you had hit Day 1000, and you had hit FI. You were over the moon, until your SO's penchant for fast food spending got you back in the work force. That would hurt worse than having your FIRE date pushed out like this.

Also, shouldn't your target number be halved alongside your net worth? So, yes, you'll have to work hard to make up the lost ground. However, you may reach it more quickly because you get to focus. All the worry that you've done in this journal (which I've read the entirety of) about his fast food spending will be erased.

Personally, and this may just be me, I'd like to recalculate my FI date for the new target number. It may not be as bad as feared, although tax advantages might be mildly diminished by separating your finances.

19 Sep 2012
lilacorchid wrote:I just called him to see how he is doing after getting crap from one of the bosses yesterday and accidentally scraping up his work truck today. And there he was, ordering lunch at the drive through, $10. And I know he ate breakfast out too.

If I didn't make 2/3 of the household money, it would make sense for me to quit my job and make his lunch every day.
I recognize that he's gotten a new job since then, but if you were making more than ~50% of the household's income when you split your finances, this move might actually accelerate your speed towards FI.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Sun Nov 30, 2014 7:40 pm

Day: Who knows, I still can't be bothered to look

My spending, oy. Let's just say it will be a very merry Xmas in our house. Bought a few shinies, at least we split the cost. I guess I'm still wallowing a bit on that front.

On the other hand, I have been regularly exercising all month. I went 3.4km today in -20C (-29 windchill) weather doing walking and jogging intervals. My fiances suck, so I have shifted to my health. Something will go right, dammit.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Tue Dec 02, 2014 7:47 am

Day 820: I'm back!

So that was about a month of wallowing. And I will admit: I did some spending while I was down there; thankfully for mostly practical items. (I am looking forward to the steam mop as I'm tired of washing floors on my hands and knees.)

Unless I get some side gigs going, I am not going to be done in 820 days. But I will be back to where I started before we split everything up, so there is that.

K60
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by K60 » Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:39 am

DH and I split our finances years ago. Though I wasn't happy about it at first, I am now very happy with the arrangement. So it could work out very well for you. Good luck!

lilacorchid
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Tue Dec 23, 2014 8:12 am

Day 799: Still jogging (up to 3k at a time now), still got the winter blues big time. I'm so glad that the shortest day is over with and maybe we will get some sunshine. I am dying to get out of here or have some fun. Makes me want to buy all the shinies. :(

1taskaday
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Re: lilac's journal

Post by 1taskaday » Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:01 am

Hi Lilacorchad,

The best thing my DH and I did was split our finances.We have 2 kids-teens now, thank goodness.

You are going through the toughest part of parenthood-no freedom and if you take some you get to deal with the guilt.
Please believe me,it will change.You will get your independance back again as your son grows.He will just not need you as much when he is older.

Now is the time to prepare for that because whether you want it or not,that day will come-that's just the way it's meant to go.
When my kids were young I job-shared for years.I earned pittance and even when I discovered ERE I could only save a tiny amount as I earned so little.But the "want and hunger"in me was huge to increase my earnings and so when I got the chance I grabbed it with both hands and made great progress.Just bide your time your chance will come too.

We never argue about money-we just split all expenses.I probably earn more than him now-neither of us really know or care.We are both on our own retirement end-dates.For a marriage to work there is so much give-especially for a woman when kids come along.Just suck it up and remember it will not always be like this.We adore each other but want totally different things from life.So what-it seems to work...

The most important thing is to hold on to your own dreams.Just because you are a wife and a mother doesn't mean you have to let go of them-just put them on a high shelf for a while,(where you can always see them) and every now and then bring them down,polish them,breathe them in and most importantly of all ...keep the fire burning within.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Thu Dec 25, 2014 2:47 pm

Everyone who has replied since we split up the money: Thanks for taking the time to do so. It's really comforting to read your words. I seem to have fallen in a pit and can't get out on my own. I have managed to climb up a little and you bunch all helped.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Tue Jan 06, 2015 6:50 pm

So I'm back at work after my vacation. Already bored and it's the new year so I spent the afternoon figuring out my pension. Turns out unless I have 25 years of service at 55 and start drawing my pension, I will lose 3% per year until my age and service add up to 80 or I turn 60. That's when I put the pension stuff aside and started calculating how much I have to save per paycheque to bankroll 20 years of not working! Turns out it's doable, but will take me another 6 years to get to the point where I have a 60% chance of success of 20 years off from firecalc. These are good enough odds from what I can see since I will have a guaranteed income from my pension at 60 and then and additional boost from the national pension plan at 67.

Truthfully, I could bump my savings rate and be 90% sure in six years, but I want to take it easy for a bit. I just spent a few years with reduced income and there are a couple of expenses that I have put off. The flip side of this is my house is starting to feel just as good as a nice hotel, so the wanderlust is lessening a bit...

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:34 pm

Updated this year's budget: Should be able to pull off 75% savings rate with perfect money management, I expect closer to 65% without any effort.

This is good! I see some hope. :D

(Edit to add: without any effort means without doing anything I could consider extreme at this point in my life)

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by steveo73 » Tue Jan 13, 2015 2:58 pm

lilacorchid wrote:without any effort means without doing anything I could consider extreme at this point in my life
I think that this is the only way to live your life. There is no need in my opinion to be extreme. It might appear extreme to the average consumer however I don't see it that way.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Mon Feb 09, 2015 10:08 pm

Day 751 - I'm thinking the finish line is more of a "What can I do in 1000 days" instead of "FI in 1000 days".

Splitting up the money has settled out now. I find I have lots left over and will be having trouble finding ways of hiding it from the tax man by the end of the summer. What a terrible problem, no? :P

I'm making more progress with the fitness portion than the money portion. For all intents and purposes, I can now run a 5k when it's -30C out. Well done me! (And by run, I mean trot, but without stopping.) Doing a 5k has been on my to do list since I was 19. It look longer than the nine weeks that the training schedule promised, but here we are! :D My intent is to keep this up 3-4x a week in addition to the walking I do as transportation. My weight has stopped trending upward and has started trending downward as well.

Crockpot meals were a hands down success. Time to get my girlfriend together again and do a big shop and another huge batch. We keep refining the recipes so it gets better each time we make something.

Sewing is going very well. I have decided that I have enough brand new projects and patterns on the go for a while. I am also going to try my hand and thrift shopping, buying clothes that are too big, and altering them. It's much cheaper than buying all new stuff and screwing around with it. I'm also hoping that alterations will go faster than construction of a new garment.

Goal for the next 250 - Up 15K deposits, down 15 lbs. See if I can alter pants to fit me.

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by jennypenny » Wed Feb 11, 2015 10:52 am

Congrats on hitting 5K!

Have you seen the Fix It and Forget It cookbooks? Lots of good crock pot recipes. Southern Living magazine has some good ones, too. I love cooking in the crock pot. It's really hard to screw things up in there. :P

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Re: lilac's journal

Post by lilacorchid » Sun Feb 15, 2015 12:59 pm

Day 745 - Finished the timed C25k program - ran 3.6k in 35 min or 6.2km/hr. This is a trot and I know I can probably walk faster when I'm in a rush, but it is what it is! 15 years in the making, I'll take it!!! And I'm going to buy myself some new running shoes as I bought the shoes I'm using when I started this 15 years ago, lol. Got my money's worth anyway. ;) I guess my next goal is to get a 5k run in under 30 minutes. Otherwise I'm out there too long and away from my family during prime family time. I don't know if this is hard, and I'm okay with that. Guess we shall see.

We squared up yesterday and I did a half-month networth calculation and noticed that the 20k we borrowed to front load the savings all the time ago was finally being paid down instead of maintaining. It would seem splitting our money has turned out to be a good thing even if I had to split my savings. Perhaps the husband is finally getting excited about spending less etc?

I bought the first discount item to try to modify. It's a nice brand new $60 dress marked down to $10 and a size too big. Even if I screw it up, the fabric is worth $10 and I can make a shirt out of it.

In other news, I was out with my friend last night and we were talking and I said that I feel like I'm finished all the content and quests and now I'm just grinding for tokens to get prettier gear. When I used to game, this is the point where my drive to play would fade off, and I would quit. Can't really do that with life. Guess I need to find some side quests to keep me busy while I'm grinding away on the main. This is proving harder than I thought.

@jennypenny - Thanks! Do you have one of those books? If so, which one? I tend to get my recipes off allrecipes.com and just go for the ones that have 600 ratings and 4.5 stars or something.

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