DutchGirl's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Thanks, ExpatERE. It will be some time. Yesterday we visited our families and talked a lot about all these things. I explained to my family that the thesis could be delayed a bit because certain experiments are delayed. They would be crucial for the planned fourth article I'll be writing, and I need four to finish my thesis. However, my Dad urged me to talk to my supervisor again about the possibility of writing another article as the fourth article, so that I can finish my thesis on the current schedule (April/May). My Dad was actually more or less my advocate, where I myself had been a bit disappointed about the delay but had thought: "oh well, so it'll take a few months more, so what". So now I'll reconsider it and perhaps will talk to my supervisor about it.
We also visited my boyfriend's sister and her family. It was very cool to hear my boyfriend talk about his upcoming meeting at the ESO to discuss a possible job there. He's so enthusiastic now, it's great to see. His sister encouraged him, too, even though it would mean she'd see us less often. On the way home we talked some more about it, especially about the practical things like moving, selling the house or finding a renter, et cetera. I'm pretty sure we'll do fine if we get the chance. I'm also pretty sure we'll do fine if he isn't hired.
Moneywise things are going according to plan. I have sold some books and the profits went to my savings account immediately for my PhD thesis expenses. If I do have the ceremony in September or October, I'm ahead of schedule on my savings account. But, of course, since I have no way of knowing what will happen after February, that's a very good thing. I still could fall behind, later.


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Writing on my thesis and staying at my parents' home. Just to be spoiled a bit with their attention and cooking skills. I'm going back home tomorrow. My salary came in on Monday and was about the amount I expected. I put some in savings straight away, but I will have to take something out again next month as I have a few weeks off and make no money now (but if I'm a good girl, some money will stay in the savings account, too). Although I have to work on my thesis, I like the slower pace I now have in the morning. One-and-a-half more weeks and then it's back to work for me. :-)


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Back to work today. I liked it. The hours flew by and the colleagues were happy to see me.
I've worked on the thesis, not as much as I could have, but enough, I'd say. Third article is being reviewed, introduction is written. To do: article four and discussion. I had a bit of a melt-down when I thought about how much more I needed to do, but I've gotten over it, I think. Onwards...
I feel that I'd hate to take money from my savings account, which is a good thing, I guess. Hopefully I only need a few hundred. (I am also trying to earn some money on the side, that may help too).


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Hmm. The "trying to earn some money on the side" thing isn't really working anymore. Good that I leave these notes here to myself, I'll have to step it up a bit, again.
Back to work for another week, and again it went well and I liked it. Had my annual "how-am-I-doing"-meeting today with my boss (bet there is a good english word for that, can't remember it now). They are happy with me and would like to offer me some education and extra tasks, but I've told them last week that my boyfriend is going to try for this new job in Germany, so we didn't discuss it too much yet, will do later if the job falls through.
We're going to Munchen by sunday and will stay there for a week, have a bit of a holiday as well. I hope we can keep spending rather low. (The company will pay the car travel expenses and one night in the B&B). We'll see. My boyfriend has taken this week off and has been working his brain off trying to study about programming languages and astronomy (not that he didn't know them already, but, you know...). Unfortunately, now he is ill. Hopefully he'll be all better before sunday! I'm feeding him paracetamol (tylenol). What was weird, was that I met someone at my work yesterday who works for the same company. She was hired in Germany but now works in the Netherlands for a year, that's how it was possible that she was right here. I wanted to hug her and invite her over for dinner to discuss what the company is like, but I had to stay professional. :-) . When I told my boyfriend , he thought it was funny. I really don't believe in signs, but this was a sign :-) .


ExpatERE
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 5:49 pm

Post by ExpatERE »

Hope the BF gets better soon. Hope you guys have fun in Munchen. Glad to hear things are still looking up on the job front. Sucks that the hiring process is so long on these gigs. I almost think it is a way of weeding out those who are not so interested and just give up. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you guys :-)


sky
Posts: 1726
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:20 am

Post by sky »

"performance review"
Good luck in Bayern


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Thanks!


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

The interview went well, my boyfriend thinks. We'll hear more about it in 1-3 weeks...
He feels like he made a good impression and that there is a big chance that they'll want to hire him.

It is a bit scary, I must admit. We'll have to learn German, I'll have to find a job, we have to figure out how things work here.
Maybe it is also nice that things go so slowly. It gives us / me time to think about it and to get used to the idea.


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Where I stand financially:

I have 20k euros in savings and investments. Which is up 7k euros from 5 months ago (good!).

I have been working for the last couple of months, so my pension should also have increased "5 months" in value. I'll get the overview of its status by the end of 2011 in March or April. Most of the Dutch retirement funds have been suffering from the bad economy over the last few years, so the return could be less than expected, but there isn't much I can do about it.
The 20k euros are allocated as follows:

Checking account: 500 euros. Hardly any expenses until March 23 (the next paycheck). Money to buy food is already parked at a shared account with the boyfriend.

Savings accounts (at 2.7% interest): 2k euros emergency fund, 2.5 k euros for my thesis.

CDs (at 4% interest): 8k euros. I'd love to keep this money in there for a long long time.

Investments (so far at 2% profit per year): 5k euros. About 3k is in bonds and 2k is in stocks. I'm a bit conservative...

Kiva: 2k euros.
Plans for this year:

I know I'll have three more salaries before we may move to Germany. If so, that means I can save up about 2k euros more before we move. That money should go to the thesis fund. Oh, I keep forgetting that I'll "lose" some of that 20k to the thesis printing and thesis partying :-) .
If we move to Germany, my boyfriend has promised to pay for everything for a while; while I finish my thesis and after that start looking for a job. I think this is reasonable. What do you guys think? (It doesn't feel right, by the way, so I guess I'll have a job there sooner rather than later).
Plans for the long term:

Difficult to plan now, because of the possible move. If we're not moving, I would continue working and thus continue to be able to save up at least 500 euros per month, for now; and more later when I can work full time. If we are moving, my job prospects change, I have to spend some money to work on my German, etc . Still, also in Germany I should be able to get a reasonably good job and earn some money.


LiquidSapphire
Posts: 510
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:40 pm

Post by LiquidSapphire »

I think it's fair for your boyfriend to pay for everything for a while; you are going to end up changing your entire life to follow his dream so I think it's very fair. If it makes you feel better, maybe create hard limits like, he only covers rent, utilities, and you cover everything else from savings, or something like that. It might be a good idea to put some more limits or at least details on this... like... what is "everything" and what is "for a while"... so neither of you become resentful if it takes you longer than usual to get up on your feet, or "everything" is more expensive than he really thought it would be.


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

We haven't heard anything yet from Germany. They were supposed to contact us this week. Annoying, but we'll live...


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Shit. My boyfriend got sick of the waiting and called. Apparently they weren't bothering too much with him because he was on the rejected-list anyway. So no job in Germany. And also, for him, no new challenge to put his teeth in, something I believe he needs at this stage in his life. Ouch, it really hurts. He wanted this soo much.
If I ignore that for a bit, the bright side is that we will not be uprooting our lives and I can continue to work where I work now, and also get a career there, or somewhere else if I like that better.


ExpatERE
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 5:49 pm

Post by ExpatERE »

:-( Sorry to hear this DG. I was really hoping this would go through for you guys. I know how your BF feels. The first job I applied for overseas I ended up being denied as well. Since this was right on the heels of my divorce the rejection hurt even more. I ended up staying with a friend for three months and eventually found another job. If I had given up I would not be enjoying the life I enjoy now.
I know it will not take the sting out of how he feels, but there was probably a lot learned from this experience. He now has a better idea of where to look for possible jobs as well as what to expect the hiring process to be like in the future. Maybe he even has an idea of how to make himself a better candidate when he applies in the future. We usually don't see these things when something we have our hopes set on falls through, but there are other opportunities. I hope if it is really what he wants he will get back in the saddle and try again. Wish you guys the best.


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Thanks for your kind words. I hope so too, ExpatERE. Today it still hurts a bit. I was really hoping for this thing to happen; and I notice now it was especially because I think he would have loved it so much. My life actually just became a lot easier and less complicated, albeit also a bit less adventurous, at least for now.
I will definitely encourage him to keep looking; in a few days we hope that he can talk to someone about why he wasn't hired; and yes, maybe it is possible to improve his resume.
Thanks.


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

Now it's been a few days. While I sometimes still dream that someone from the organisation will call and say: " we made a terrible mix-up, a thousand apologies, please come", for the most part we've accepted this and have moved on. I've told my company that I'll stay and perhaps can get training to increase my capabilities and get promoted. My boyfriend has started looking for other jobs, and, chicken soup to wounded pride, has already two potential job offers. Both here in the Netherlands and less interesting than the one in Germany, but paying much more. He is still considering and the discussions and negotiations will continue next week.


Shandi76
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:11 pm

Post by Shandi76 »

I was sorry to hear your boyfriend didn't get the job in Germany. The two job offers in the Netherlands is great news though :-) I hope that works out well for you both.


pooablo
Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:32 am

Post by pooablo »

Things always have a way of working out. :)


DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Post by DutchGirl »

My boyfriend is still looking for a new job. Easter got in the way as well, maybe today or tomorrow he may hear again from one of the three employers he is talking to. Who knows. He does not want to retire early (he tells me), he wants a job that has meaning to him.
Meanwhile, I crashed at my PhD. I'm so sick and tired of the demands and of working for nothing. I see no reason for me to finish it since I'm very likely not going to use my title during my career, after all (I thought I would when I started it). So my motivation is/was somewhere below zero. My supervisors aren't a big help either. When I talked to them (after weeks of struggling) they suggested I go see a therapist, because they think I'm depressed. I don't think I am, I love my current job, I like to do my hobbies, I only get "depressed" when I have to work on my thesis. Well, our solution so far is that I'll take two months off and I would consider a therapist. I think the therapist could only help me grow a spine, since my youth I've always wanted to please others, and now I would finish my thesis only to please my parents and my supervisors. At least, that's what it feels like right now.
Financially, things are going okay. I'm reasonably good with my money. I'll have a niece soon, so I will be spending some money on gifts and on travel, soon. I have also invested €500 in the Dutch version of people-to-people-lending (like prosper?). Biggest disadvantage I see so far is that minimum input is €100 on one note and that the number of borrowers is still relatively small. So it is difficult to spread the risk and find candidates that meet my criteria. I intend to put in €1k total, which is something like 4-5% of my total assets. And then see how it goes. Most will pay back over the course of 36 months, so it'll be a long time before I can evaluate success...
I am saving about €500 a month, which is about 30% of my income. My current net worth is just above €20k, which is great to see (it was fluctuating around €5k ever since 2004 up until somewhere in 2010).


simplex
Posts: 212
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:28 pm
Location: NL

Post by simplex »

For me it sounds like your advisors need your Phd more than you. Try not to be intimidated by them. Going into therapy for them is very, very questionable.

Tak a deep breath and think about the situation. Even if you don't need your Phd, you can get a lot of satisfaction by completing it. If your advisors are so keen that you get a Phd (and they are on the publications as co-authors and (co-)promotor), think of what they can offer you. Maybe they can pay for someone to clean up your writing, they can pay for you getting a two-months research assistantship (and then you writing the thesis while you get an unpaid leave at your current job).

Taking a break can be a very good step. If you struggle in writing up the thesis, consider trying differently! Maybe try only to write on e.g. sundays, or to write only small specific pieces like the methods part of an article. Try what works. And leverage your supervisors. They need your thesis. Talk to them what they can offer.


George the original one
Posts: 5404
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:28 am
Location: Wettest corner of Orygun

Post by George the original one »

> Even if you don't need your Phd, you can get a lot of satisfaction by completing it
+1. Never underestimate the leverage you have by having a title/degree. Especially when you are very close to completion.
The truth is that when working any long-term project, one will inevitably experience disillusionment and discouragement. Even if you're ahead of schedule and like the subject.


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