Boring-ness as a Weakness

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SustainableHappiness
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Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by SustainableHappiness »

This question may be geared more specifically to Jacob, as it formed while reading the ERE book. But essentially, what is the nature of boring-ness as a personal characteristic? ERE paints it in a very poor light and while I don't disagree entirely, I would like to understand what the boring people described are like (from what I understand they are typically middle-class salary men and women). I ask because I see many situations where a boring (or maybe I am confusing it with routine?) life would leave me very happy -> Eat well, sleep well, sex well, exercise well, socialize via boardgames and beers sometimes

I ask because one piece of likely apocryphal wisdom I like is the Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times." Meaning interesting can just as easily mean negative or non-life affirming as it is positive.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I think "ERE" actually promotes a certain amount of toleration of boredom, along with toleration of other forms of discomfort, in alignment with Stoic philosophy. What it doesn't promote is conformity. The reason why it doesn't promote conformity is that there is danger, or at least good possibility of loss, in defaulting to conformity rather than coming to your own rational decisions from a more objective, or less arbitrary, or more curious-towards-informed perspective outside of the "cave."

OTOH, it might just be that Jacob feels like he would rather stick hot daggers into his eyeballs than attend a suburban barbeque where everybody is talking about television shows and golfing vacations.

vexed87
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by vexed87 »

It boils down to a personality thing right?

Most are not self-assured, or confident in their own objectivity and would rather follow the herd, or delegate to greater authotirties. The only people I see actively pushing themselves into discomfort are the ones that care about their health, mental or physical and believe in personal responsibility. These are motivated and driven, and less likely to fall prey to the consumer mentality and make ideal candidates for followers of stoic philosophy. Most everyone else can't see the point in hard work.

As for having a good time, who doesn't like those things? (ok, apart from the abstainers!) I think the point is that eating, resting and socialisation are all pleasurable and basic human needs. The thing is getting the balance of good times and productive times right. If you do, you'll have no time to be bored at suburban BBQs (if they don't float your boat). If you live according to your own compass, you would never attend such events.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@vexed87: I do not consider myself to be a Stoic, because I prefer discomfort to boredom, but I also prefer pleasure to discomfort, and my health is not my first consideration. IOW, given choice of "Would you like to go someplace you have never gone before where there might be snakes and you will have to sleep on a rock?" vs. "Would you like to spend the night at the posh hotel by the mall with me? There will be breakfast buffet." , I would choose 1, but I would also likely say "Yes" to 2, unless/until this option impeded me from possibility of saying "Yes" to 1.

IlliniDave
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by IlliniDave »

Hmm. As long as you avoid boredom, I see "boring-ness" as a who cares. Especially when it comes to cultural standards of what's boring and what's not.

ThisDinosaur
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by ThisDinosaur »

Somebody commented to a close friend of mine that he was basically a younger version of the World's Most Interesting Man from the Dos Equis ads. They asked what his secret was. He said its basically about having good stories. And good stories are a combination of poor decisions and embellishment.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@ThisDinosaur: Do you think that the desire for "interesting" drives the poor (or different) decisions or the tendency towards poor (or different) decisions is rationalized with desire for "interesting?" For instance, there was a particularly harrowing 3 days of my life that I spent trying to get a BF who had flipped completely into extreme bi-polar 1 into treatment. I blame my sister for advising me that it was my duty as his GF to make such an attempt. But, clearly there were signs before that particular crossroads that a more cautious individual would have heeded. Also, I currently can not decide if I should be afraid to spend the night in my camper alone, or not. Most people tell me that I should be afraid, but most people are not rational.

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fiby41
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by fiby41 »

I think I have high capacity for empathy, so I've to try hard to not care what is boring from a third person PoV.

TBH the ERE life is boring and other members would also agree on this. Most of us are only doing it for the stability it brings.

Getting bored, and so not being able to complete something due you were to bored to do it... this amounting to a weakness, however...

Also boring for whom? This depends on who your trying to impress. One person's boring is someone else's interesting.
Last edited by fiby41 on Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

OTCW
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by OTCW »

People that worry a lot about how cool they are, and act based on this worry bore me. Not saying that you are one of them, but there are plenty out there, so I suppose that falling into that trap is something to consider when one worries about being boring.

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jennypenny
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by jennypenny »

IMO ...

'boring' = predictable (same old opinions, hasn't read anything, easily triggered, social conformist)

'interesting' = stimulating (knowledgeable, willing to engage, good listener, open-minded)

Smashter
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by Smashter »

ThisDinosaur wrote:
Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:27 am
good stories are a combination of poor decisions and embellishment.
Emphasis on the embellishment part. I had a boss who was a very successful author and TV comedy writer. He was easily the best, most consistently funny storyteller I'd ever been around. I was in awe of his recall, his delivery, his pacing, and the fact that so much funny stuff happened to him. He was truly hilarious.

I spent a ton of time with this guy, and I noticed that despite his inherent comedic brilliance, he felt the need to embellish many of his stories. If you've ever seen a funny situation develop and thought "wow, that would have been even funnier if ____" then you realize how easy it is to tack on details for dramatic effect. My boss seemed to unconsciously fill in those blanks with his own embellishments. I don't think he realized he was doing it.

He had grown so accustomed to commanding the room with stories that he just willed funny details into existence. Interesting psychological case study, that's for sure.

James_0011
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by James_0011 »

@Fiby

I don't agree at all. Quitting your job at thirty five like C40 did and traveling in a van, or moving to fiji and volunteering as a teacher like that one guy did who posted here a few weeks ago is significantly less boring to me than commuting from the suburbs for forty years and mowing the lawn on the weekend.

George the original one
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by George the original one »

Boring: "I don't know, what do you want to do?"
Interesting: "Wait, I've got an idea... here, hold my beer." (also can be prelude to Darwin award)

SustainableHappiness
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by SustainableHappiness »

I debated on whether or not to use the word weakness here, because what it should have been was "frowned upon". But the references to running away from typical suburban BBQ talk resonate and I answer my original question.
IlliniDave wrote:
Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:42 am
As long as you avoid boredom, I see "boring-ness" as a who cares. Especially when it comes to cultural standards of what's boring and what's not.
Agreed...On reflection, maybe this was a question of the ERE cultures standards of boring. Which are pretty clear from the 11 answers so far.

Hold my beer.

ThisDinosaur
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by ThisDinosaur »

@7Wb5
I have no idea. Chicken or egg. But I am one of the few people close enough to this guy to know he suffers bouts of depression. When things are going poorly, he reassures himself by saying something like "it will make a good story" or quoting that "interesting times" proverb @SustainableHappiness quoted.

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fiby41
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Re: Boring-ness as a Weakness

Post by fiby41 »

@james, not the quitting part.😅 But the extra work to get there part could be boring/takes more work but worth it :p

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