How to be alone but not lonely?

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TheWanderingScholar
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Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:04 am

Re: How to be alone but not lonely?

Post by TheWanderingScholar »

frihet wrote:
Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:08 pm
Go on meditation retreats.

Goenka vipassana is an ere friendly choice as you pay what ever you want afterwards. They also enforce strict discipline when it comes to talking, in fact you are not even allowed eye contact.

10 days well spent.
That sounds awesome. Saving this for later.

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fiby41
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Re: How to be alone but not lonely?

Post by fiby41 »

Forum member Liberate Mind has been documenting her experience with Vipassanna for quite some time time (2 years?) You can check her journal for its effects on one's mindfulness.

7Wannabe5
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Re: How to be alone but not lonely?

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

The meditation tapes my stress-puppy BF listens to talk about 3 fields of relationship, which would be your relationship with yourself, your relationships with known intimates, and your relationship with the broader human field. He has difficulty tuning out the broader human field, whereas I sometimes have difficulty tuning into it. Always on alert vs. walking around in a daze/fog. So, when I listened to his tapes which are meant to help people relax in relationship to the human field, my response was along the lines of "obviously", "duh", and "of course."

OTOH, I recently read a list on the topic of how to determine whether you are more INTP or ENTP in your functioning, and although I generally test borderline, I recognized myself as being clearly more ENTP than INTP in the vast majority of the differences listed. One of the differences is that an ENTP prefers to be alone with her books and thoughts, but have other people nearby, so that when she gets to a place in her reading/thinking that suggests an idea she feels compelled to share there is somebody around upon whom she can inflict her need to babble. An INTP prefers to be strictly, literally alone because detests having train of thought, castle of ideas formation interrupted in any fashion. So, reading this was helpful for me in figuring out why I was having some difficulty with spending time alone in my garden-camper. A better internet connection ( so I can inflict ideas upon you guys and other internet sites-bwah-ha-ha), a better organized journal practice, patterned visitations to nearby cafe or other 3rd spaces, or developing a one-sided crazy lady conversational relationship with the many homeless cats who consider my territory to be their own might help.

Takeaway being that there might be similar rules-of-thumb for any other type of person in regard to social-functioning vs. solitude. However, this may prove more difficult for some very socially oriented types, such as OP, whom I have crudely and rudely identified and declared to be the Achiever on the cusp of the Helper.

TopHatFox
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Location: FL; 25

Re: How to be alone but not lonely?

Post by TopHatFox »

I can relate to introverted interpersonal the most.

I do find the list of people I interact with is declining quickly as I age, deliberately so. My care for public sphere opinions is also declining at a noticeable rate. The ultimate goal for me, and perhaps for some of you, is to be able to be totally fine over long periods without the verbal validation/affection/company of even known intimates, but to still enjoy these qualities if they're there.

Is that too tall a goal?

classical_Liberal
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Re: How to be alone but not lonely?

Post by classical_Liberal »

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