What to do when FI

[jacob]

Sounds like you might need to find an ERE dating pool.

There was a forum here for dating long ago but nobody was using it. I figured here would be the obvious place to hook up with like-minded individuals but I don't think we have the density. I don't know if anything is going on behind the scenes. If that's the case, I've never heard about any couples who met on ERE.

[Jean]

Yes, thinking that i have to make music seems to help a lot. I produced one tune a day for the last days. Having responsabilities seems key.

It's a take on procrastination that I've yet to see. Not 100 percent novel, but tackles procrastination from a different angle than usual.

http://lesswrong.com/lw/3w3/how_to_beat ... stination/

Really?
It seems obvious to me that the meaninglessness of a task is a good reason to procastinate it.

[Allagash]

Sounds like you might need to find an ERE dating pool.

There was a forum here for dating long ago but nobody was using it. I figured here would be the obvious place to hook up with like-minded individuals but I don't think we have the density. I don't know if anything is going on behind the scenes. If that's the case, I've never heard about any couples who met on ERE.

I should probably try to start a meetup.com or facebook group or something in my local area for ERE types. Just not sure I could get the critical mass needed.

There are a lot of great things of course with retiring early. But it also can be isolating. I'm still trying to find my niche and social circle, I know I will some day but it really takes quite an effort. As I mentioned, most people my age are caught up in their careers, daily commutes, families, etc... And being ERE and single no kids compounds the situation. You are on a totally different wave length then the "masses", its like you are on a different planet. You just just don't have a tremendous amount in common with mainstream working high spending stiffs.

Mainstream internet dating sites don't work well for ERE types IMO. The vast majority of potential partners are all caught up in the rat race where their job is their life & consumes 5-6 days a week of their time, they spend a lot of money, and live very "herd-like" mainstream lives. So you can spend tons of time on dates from dating sites spinning your wheels where people are just not right for you.

I think getting out and doing things you like with groups can help (hiking, etc...), that's what a lot of people suggest. I've done some of that and it is still a crap shoot and can take a lot of time and effort with little yield.

[Jean]

Permaculturiat, dumpster divers, squatters, etc... They all have much in common with erers.

[jacob]

@Allagash - I don't know if this is primarily idiosyncratic/autobiographic, but other than the rare open-minded unicorn, the groups who've been the easiest to communicate ERE to are:

1) Traders ... because they're used to the idea of making money via other means than salary or contract work.

2) Permaculturists ... because they're capable of thinking in systems and that is not something that is naturally ingrained in practically any other group of humans.

3) Academics if and only if they have minimalist or adventurous proclivities. I never advertised ERE to my colleagues in academia ... but of the few who later "figured me out" the one's who took to it in a positive manner have all been of the emigrant, climber, backpacker, mission-driven, ... kind ... whereas those who recoiled were the one's who aspire and insist for the title of professor some day.

All other groups are kind of a hit and miss wrt ERE in my experience.

[Stahlmann]

...last post...

You stopped mentioning preppers (survivalist) and simple living advocates recently

[jacob]

That'd be the second string.

[7Wannabe5]

Some self-employed individuals only vary from the conventional mindset at the level of which tax form to file, but there is a subset with whom you might likely find compatibility. Trading is a verb that applies to a great many things beyond the stock market. Even though I read YMOYL way back when it was first published, I still view FIRE as a capital intensive instance of like-minded subset of self-employed individuals.

[Allagash]

Permaculturiat, dumpster divers, squatters, etc... They all have much in common with erers.

Permaculture possibly yes. Dumpster divers and squatters probably not as much I'm more "ERE lite". I got to ERE more by cranking up the income & investing faucets for a few years vs. plugging every drain with radical levels of frugality (but I admire greatly those who got there via attrition). I'm probably more frugal then 90% of the people in my net worth range, but I'm a spendthrift compared to the more radical ERE's.

[Allagash]

@Allagash - I don't know if this is primarily idiosyncratic/autobiographic, but other than the rare open-minded unicorn, the groups who've been the easiest to communicate ERE to are:

1) Traders ... because they're used to the idea of making money via other means than salary or contract work.

2) Permaculturists ... because they're capable of thinking in systems and that is not something that is naturally ingrained in practically any other group of humans.

3) Academics if and only if they have minimalist or adventurous proclivities. I never advertised ERE to my colleagues in academia ... but of the few who later "figured me out" the one's who took to it in a positive manner have all been of the emigrant, climber, backpacker, mission-driven, ... kind ... whereas those who recoiled were the one's who aspire and insist for the title of professor some day.

All other groups are kind of a hit and miss wrt ERE in my experience.

These are good ideas. I'm more like a investor/trader ERE mindset type. I would probably find things in common with investors/traders and ex-entrepreneurs/start up types who are now just really cheap and want to live low overhead "semi" alternative lifestyles to the masses.

Jim Merkel author of the book "Radical Simplicity" is a hero. I almost want to move to Maine so I could I could hang out with him and hear him speak regularly. I don't think I have the chops to ever live as radically simple as him, but If only 25% of the way he lives rubbed off on me it would be a success. I wonder if he does "simplicity life coaching"?...lol

By the way Jacob, you created such a terrific book, web site, forum and community out of this very niche lifestyle. Well done.

[jennypenny]

...last post...

You stopped mentioning preppers (survivalist) and simple living advocates recently

I've probably turned jacob off of preppers as a primary source of converts. I don't think I'm a good advertisement for prepping.

[FBeyer]

...last post...

You stopped mentioning preppers (survivalist) and simple living advocates recently

I've probably turned jacob off of preppers as a primary source of converts. I don't think I'm a good advertisement for prepping.

But you self-identity as a slow-doomer, which is most likely one the most pubescently cool-sounding self-references I've ever come across!
Swings and roundabouts. What you lost with Jacob you gained with me.

[jennypenny]

Haha, then you'd love some of the recipe names in my slow doom cookbook.

Prepping does have a number of associated hobbies that can be a lot of fun post-ERE. And the preppers who aren't just sitting in a chair on their lawn with a shot gun waiting for the apocalypse are fun to hang out with too.

[Jean]

Dumpster diving and squatting is acknowledging how much is wasted and then to live on what other people waste.
Ere, is about acknowledging ones waste.
Its different, but it all revolves about dealing with the wastefullness of a normal lifestyle.
I nearly only get positive reactions about my EREing, and none of my friends are academics or trader, and only one is actively interested in permaculture.
Actually, I lost a childhood friend, who works as a trader, because of a talk with him about ERE.

[Jean]

SO doesn't wan't kids now. She doesn't know yet that she wants them. I'm pretty sure she'll wan't them.
That's good because it gives me time to go earn more money to build an other appartment in the house, which will provide the extra income needed for my kids. Which will leave me all the time I need do spend with them.

Even if I don't end up having kid with this woman, whe provided me the confidence that I can attract someone like her and that having kid is possible for me. I was really unconfident about it before. I really increased my motivation to look for money.

[J_]

Leave (temporarily) your (golden) cage.
Buy a small second hand motorboat (or a cheap undeep sailing boat and remove mast) and cruise the canals of France, Belgium and the Netherlands for some months. You are immediately in another world with another feeling of time, you travel with a speed of about 4 to 5 knots per hour, you cook your own food, you will find places where you can anchor for free. Do it for the rest of this year or for 3 months. And see what happens with you. (It does not cost much, and you learn it by doing/copying, start in the Netherlands where the infrastucture of 1100 canals with a total length of 6500 kilometer, is free to use).

[mulaw]

Find a philosophy of life and try to live accordingly. The stoics started the search 2000 years ago. You might be able to improve their ideas.
A good starting point for me in today's language was the book "A Guide To The Good Life: The Ancient Art Of Stoic Joy".