STI statistics and best practices?

[saving-10-years]

@Olaz, I offered to test PM as @halfmoon was not sure she was doing it right. She was.

I then chatted (wittered on) a bit about how this board is so good at keeping its own equilibrium and the adjustments that I have had to make to my thinking of when and how to react online, both here and elsewhere. I know how to do it (usually) when face to face, how to avoid/ignore, so why do I find it harder here? What I have discovered from looking at how others respond here is that they hold onto their cool and don't get hung up on differences. I should _definitely_ not be @halfmoon's heroine on the basis of my not terribly profound musings but could name many - @Dragline, @JennyPenny, @Jacob, @Chad, @Ego, @RiggerJack @7w5 @ffj (this list could be faar longer). People who have really made me wish I could be as on-the-nose, honest, clever and laugh aloud in my responses as they often are, even when I don't agree with (or even understand) their view.

If the advice appeared profound I think that it was simply a case that I was talking from a similar point of view (gender and age). I am a pretty passionate and outspoken person. For my age group, 60, 'letting things go' or pass unchallenged perhaps has particularly negative connotations if you are a woman. My DS, 19, has a more laid back and wiser approach to online comms in informal contexts and I should listen to him more. You will already know all this stuff. Its an age thing.

On meeting ERE folk in person perhaps you should organise a meet up, or go to one? There is an ERE couple living within 5 miles of us and we managed to meet up (here) once and never repeated that. I hope that its not because we were off-putting, but who can tell? This is now getting very off topic.

[7Wannabe5]

I was chatting with an epidemiologist who studies economic risk factors associated with the spread of AIDS. Apparently, sugar plantations make use of primarily male migrant workers, who tend towards frequenting brothels due to separation from wives for many months, so this population is vulnerable. I asked him about the risk of acquiring AIDS if you are a poly-amorous female whose partners are drawn mainly from the population of affluent, white, recently-divorced, heterosexual American men over the age of 50, and he said "You are likely at greater risk during the car ride to his place." But, then my 76 year old mother, who overheard a snippet of this conversation across hub-bub of the holiday party, shouted out "But use a condom anyways!!!" , and then the general conversation degraded into a debate about whether you can predict the likelihood of herpes infection based on how "dirty" a "dirty hipster" appears to be upon superficial inspection. My DD25 was the strongest advocate for "YES!!!"

I'm not super-protective or fretful about maintaining internet anonymity. In fact, it is my practice to attempt to meet some members of any virtual community in which I participate in person. However, even in real life, I would not, for example, walk around a public park or shopping mall with my full name and social security number emblazoned on my jacket. OTOH, there is no over-riding constitutional protection for free speech inclusive of protection of anonymity, except in certain specific situations. If you are going to stand in the middle of a public park screaming out anything, you best be prepared to suffer future revelation of your identity in the town paper. It's easy to go full-on balls-out if you think you are alone in your living room with the drapes pulled shut. They tend towards shriveling under inspection or exposure to the open air, unless some degree of striving towards transparency is part of your usual practice.

[Papers of Indenture]

This is real life.

That's what I think too. I don't have any illusions of privacy on the internet.

No kidding. Kind of delusional to believe that you can have your own little safe space on the internet. SFH is either a lot dumber than he thought or was banking on this kind of reaction all along. It looks like he might be a writer for a self styled Alt-Right blog so perhaps he was conducting a social experiment on us.

[RealPerson]

Coming back to the OP's original question. I always wondered about the risk of high promiscuity behavior. There is no such thing as risk elimination, and definitely no visual "inspection" will allow you to accurately assess the risk. You have to assume that any of your partners have some type of STI and you should do your best to protect yourself accordingly.

However, the more partners you have the higher your risk becomes. Condoms can break and precautions forgotten in the heat of the moment. Just realize that STI issues are a real risk for you. There is just no denying that. Physical barriers (condoms, saran wrap..) and a visit to the medical clinic when you suspect a problem are your best bets. Or join the monastery

[EdithKeeler]

What are some best practices for preventing STIs? For instance, a bi-annual check, condoms, and developing open communication to ask if the person has an sti they know of. Also, avoiding the riskiest endeavors, like one night stands.
.....

Thoughts on the STI stats and proper prevention?

You know, I read this thread last night and didn't comment, but for some reason it popped back into my head again driving home from work tonight.

At the risk of sounding like a middle-aged grouchy fuss-pot, it occurs to me that as someone who has already talked in detail about his polyamory, etc. on these boards, you're a little late in asking this question, don't you think? Kind of closing the barn door after the horse has escaped.

I don't mean that in a judgmental way--I firmly do not care what people do in their bedrooms or with whom--but my point is that before a person starts F***G around, they better know the risks as well as the rewards of F*****G around.

I guess I'm coming from the perspective of having come of age just as the AIDS epidemic was developing into something other than a "gay disease." For myself and some of my friends who were pretty blithe about such things back then, once it became clear that straight people were getting it, too, our behaviors certainly changed. I watched some people die of AIDS back then, and it ain't a pretty way to go. I have to say, for me anyway, those experiences altered my behaviors going forward forever. Personally, I can't imagine not using condoms for any kind of sexual contact until everyone knows and is tested and is tested again. But I'm a little phobic about such things... but then again, some of that shit, once you have it, you have it forever. No thanks.

And while I can't agree with the way that Shrieking put it, or his method of saying it, or the religious thrust and judgment behind it, there is something to be said for the safety of plain old vanilla boring (not really) monogamy.

I guess all I'm saying is, please be smart and careful

[TopHatFox]

Point taken - usually when I ask something on here I aready have a system in place, but I tend to ask to see if there's something I should keep doing, improve, not take for granted, change my frame of mind on, etc. It just so happens that on this board and this board alone, improvements come by very often! Hence I come back with more questions.

Here's to almost a 1000 posts. ~

[jacob]

I have closed this thread and deleted all the doxxing posts.

See viewtopic.php?f=21&t=8476 for an explanation.