Small celebrations

[FBeyer]

Some de-stressing hacks revolve around small celebrations during the day. The idea is that you not only relieve stress, but you also foster a need to be even more productive, because you are rewarding yourself for it.

I've come to realize that throughout most of my life I've been way too mf'n busy getting shit done and not focused enough on celebrating the little victories.

I 'sold' most of my vacations while I worked as a carpenter and got all sorts of great power tools in return because I wanted to build stuff, not lounge about.
I never really celebrated my birthdays (in fact I don't know immediately how old I am. I have to calculate it when people ask me and it's been like this since I was... 15 maybe(*) ).
I hardly celebrated becoming cand.scient after way too many teeth-gnashing years at university.

I've always been too focused on the horizon to lean back and enjoy my progress here and now and this has most likely eroded my ability to appreciate the fruits of my own labour.
I rarely celebrate things I accomplish because it seems too natural to me. It feels weird to get all wound up about some piece of software that suddenly works after I've been slaving away at if for months; I've been working for months, of COURSE it works now!
It feels like celebrating that I woke up again this morning, a natural thing that doesn't necessarily warrant a celebration, but I have now come to realize that one should really pat oneself on the back from time to time. No one else is going to do it for you and if you benefit from it, there is no reason not to.

So, I'm looking for small things to reward oneself with during the workdays/weekdays to help nurture a sense of self-appreciation.
So far the list of things I've come up with are:

- Write my SO a little love letter
- Close my eyes and concentrate on a single song that I am particularly fond of.
- Take a short walk outside



What do you do?


* I stopped counting, remember?

[vexed87]

Hah, yes I have exactly the same problem with focusing too much on the future. It's an INTJ thing?

Learning to relax is important, I have little rituals, but I could hardly claim I jump for joy after achievements. At most, I might get a little adrenalin rush.

After a hard day's work, I treat myself by baking a load of sourdough bread, or having a slice of cake and coffee, which will be a few minutes of enjoyment and onwards to worrying about my next project.

[Dragline]

Mostly record things so that I can reflect on them later. So I make an entry in my journal and/or post something to social media if appropriate. And take pictures or a video, too, which I might also post somewhere or link in some way. Sometimes even just a sunrise or sunset or snowfall that looked particularly cool.

I like to think that I collect memories the way most people collect things. It's fun (and instructive) to look back at these things in a year or two.

I got this idea from a Jim Rohn lecture I saw about 5 years ago. He said it was one of the keys to self-improvement and self-fulfillment. I wish I had been doing it earlier, because most of my memories about "what happened" in my early life/adulthood are a pretty jumbled lot.

Oh, and I might also have some wine. Or scotch if available.

[FBeyer]

Hah, yes I have exactly the same problem with focusing too much on the future. It's an INTJ thing?
Learning to relax is important, I have little rituals... At most, I might get a little adrenalin rush.
...or having a slice of cake and coffee....

I think it might be more an a general analytical/planner kind of thing rather than specifically INTJ. I realize that given the vast overrepresentation of INTJ on this forum it might be easy to equate the two.
Learning to relax is not just important, it's vital. That's part of the reason why I ask other about their small 4-minute celebrations during the day. It's a skill I need to pick up. (says I, sitting at work on a Saturday...)

I'm trying to avoid celebrations that involve food. It quickly becomes a bad habit to eat a lot of things that I didn't really need to eat. We don't keep a lot of celebration-style food in the house, but when we do my mind goes:

and I eat the lot in rapid succession.

It's not that I'm getting fat, it's just a silly thing to do.

[FBeyer]

Mostly record things so that I can reflect on them later. So I make an entry in my journal and/or post something to social media...

I got this idea from a Jim Rohn lecture I saw about 5 years ago. He said it was one of the keys to self-improvement and self-fulfillment...

Oh, and... scotch if available.

Recording things might actually be a great way to not only celebrate for now but to recall later as well. For someone like me, there is just a real risk that if I look back at my list of past achievements I come to realize that I don't know it as well today as I did then, and I might start studying something again (which is, of course, ridiculously inefficient use of time). Doing that then requires developing greater self-restraint when it comes to knowledge acquisition.

I heard of a de-stressing trick that involves flash cards: you write something you think is nice about yourself and you revisit those cards from time to time, to remind yourself that all is not nearly as f***** as you think it is.

I'll have to check out Jim Rohn on occasion. Thank you

[steveo73]

It's an interesting thread. I don't though really have an answer.

I'll tell you my perspective. I often find my rewards are the things I do that are tough. So I ride my bike to the gym and then do jiu-jitsu. It's really hard work. Sometimes I'm riding my bike and thinking I don't want to do this. It's basically my main reward though.

I do other stuff that I enjoy and is just for pleasure - reading and watching TV and sometimes eating food but none of those things really give me the pleasure that exercise does.

I also wonder where sex fits into the picture.

[IlliniDave]

FBeyer, I think I'm pretty similar. I'm not much on celebrating. To me it seems like wasted energy. There are times I'll bask in the good feeling that comes after some sort of accomplishment or milestone, but the idea that I should then "reward" myself doesn't sit well. I've tried that, and it's unnatural to me. "Oh boy, I got out of bed seven days straight and now it's Friday again, so where's my Scooby snack?" Anymore all I'll do is fully embrace the good feeling for as long as it lasts, which I think is important, and let the accomplishment itself be the reward (if it isn't a reward in and of itself, then it wasn't much of an accomplishment). Yes, I fully admit I'm a curmudgeon, and I fully understand and support others who like to celebrate. My introversion makes it more of an internal thing for me.

Twice in the last week I've started typing an update to my journal to "celebrate" a couple of modest financial milestones I've hit that to me are significant, but I didn't finish either time. Drawing attention to them seemed to diminish them.

[FBeyer]

FBeyer, I think I'm pretty similar. I'm not much on celebrating. To me it seems like wasted energy... My introversion makes it more of an internal thing for me...

Then you just have to develop an internal reward system don't you?

Rather than sit in front of your computer and update your journal, why don't you sit in your favorite chair at home, close your eyes and acknowledge that your perseverance got you a small step further to where you want to go, and the appreciate that you are the sort of person that gets the things that are most important to you done, rather than someone who outsources their solutions to someone else?

The mantra:

My determination gets me place I'd like to go and I like that about myself

could very well prove to be one of the greatest positive reinforcements one can apply, without spending much time nor money.