Childcare Affordability

[George the original one]

"The least-affordable state had the highest child care cost
compared to family income. This does not mean that the
least-affordable state had the most expensive child care,
only that the cost of care as a percentage of income was
highest when compared to all states."

My home state of Oregon is considered least-affordable...
http://usa.childcareaware.org/sites/def ... 3113_0.pdf

[George the original one]

"Families in urban areas paid dramatically more for child
care than families in rural areas. An urban area is defined as
a population cluster of 50,000 or more people.

Because there are fewer child care centers and licensed care
providers in rural areas, families tend to rely on informal
child care from neighbors and friends more often than
urban families."

I read that as "ERE-techniques save you money" or "kids cost you as much as you're willing to spend".

[dot_com_vet]

My observation is that you get paid more if you have a family. I'm not sure if it makes you a better worker, or employers realize you need more money to not jump ship.

[bo_knows]

If you're saving a significant percentage of your income, and your employer allows it, I'm all for flexing your schedule and going part-time to care for your child at home. My wife and I did it, and technically it's a financial wash (or very slight loss), but it's a big emotional win to have the little guy at home. We're lucky that our employers are flexible, though.

[GandK]

If you're saving a significant percentage of your income, and your employer allows it, I'm all for flexing your schedule and going part-time to care for your child at home. My wife and I did it, and technically it's a financial wash (or very slight loss), but it's a big emotional win to have the little guy at home.

I'm staying home with our youngest right now. I probably could have done it with the older ones, too, had we done the math and cut back at the time. But we were too caught up in our consumerist lifestyle back then.

[CLE]

My wife will be staying home with our son starting early next year. The cost of childcare is shocking to say the least. We want three kids and realized that it would be better to get our expenses under one income now rather than be forced to do so when kids two and three came along. We'd be paying 2500$/month for daycare otherwise.

Don't worry though, the daycare has a 'deal.' Families cap out at 2550/month no matter how many kids you have enrolled.

[steveo73]

We have 3 kids however only the youngest is in daycare - he goes 4 days per week. My wife earns about 40k after tax but we pay 15.5k in daycare costs.

We end up with a lot more in our hands but I can't wait till we don't have to pay daycare.

[dot_com_vet]

I do wonder if we're a bit insane working so we can pay daycare so we can go to work.

Things can be done to soften the pain. We had extended family handle the first year of daycare. State preschools kicks in at four years of age, so that leaves three years at daycare. It goes fast. Dependent care flex benefits helps with taxes.

[lilacorchid]

I like putting mine in daycare. He learns a lot and he gets to play with other kids. I'm realistic: I know I wouldn't teach him half what they do and I wouldn't be taking him on playdates with other kids nearly enough. I wish my hours were more flexible though.

[5to9]

@lilacorchid Thanks for being the first I've seen around here to support that view! I choke on how much it costs ($2600 a month), but I really think daycare is great for our family. Both of my boys seem to love the interactions with the other kids, and the teachers really do lots of great projects and learning activities with them. I definitely would love to spend more time with the boys, but I'm not sure that full time stay at home with parents would be best for anyone involved, other than the bank balance.

I've been a little hesitant to bring this up, after seeing this many times referred to as "outsourcing the raising of your children" in the ERE book, and parts of the forum.

[lilacorchid]

@5to9 - Yeah, I know! I think it's one of those polarizing parenting issues. In our case it works best. Well, best would be me working 2 or 3 days a week and him going to daycare during those times. But since it didn't work out that way... well, we make do. We are a little different than the norm though: We live within walking distance of his school, so getting there is part of our exercise and exploring the world. I can also be there within 10 mins if he needs me. The monetary cost for us is extreme compared to people around us who get into government regulated spots, but it is still cheaper than buying a second car to get him to the further daycare and paying for that cheaper spot. (And cheaper than what I see American families having to pay.) Plus we lose out on our daily walk! He also didn't start going full time until he was 17 months old. We have a year leave here and then I took another five months off work (thanks to having low expenses we could live on my husband's salary even though I'm the breadwinner) so there was that too.

I also didn't really enjoy being a SAHM. It was boring and not very stimulating for me after about six months of being in the house with a baby all day. I love my boy, but I also missed having conversations with people who weren't throwing up on themselves or had more than ten words in their vocabulary. It's not a very popular opinion: Mother doesn't want to spend every waking minute with offspring! For shame!!! Before I had kids, I wanted to be a SAHM and thought it would be awesome. Instead, there was lots of awesome here and there, but I found it lonely and I missed having my own income. The five months off was the first time in nearly 20 years that I didn't have some sort of cash coming in.

I really try not to judge other parents and say things like "outsourcing the raising of your children" etc. I mean, maybe some people do, but I guess I'm a pushover in that I believe most everyone is trying their best. We weigh our options and make the best choice for our family, even if I do think some of them are super wrong and detrimental to society. I guess I don't subscribe to the notion that because a couple can have a child, they alone are the only people on the planet qualified to raise that child to it's full potential.

[CLE]

I agree that daycare does a great job with our son so I'd never judge anyone for going that route. It's also onsite at work so I can pop down and see him at any point during the day.

There are many groups at the library, rec center, and self organized that you can tap into though for crafts/playtime/etc to keep the child stimulated. That's what my wife is planning to do once she stays home. She has already started to get into this routine on weekends.

I find that my friends without kids seem the most judgmental (judgmental is probably the wrong word here...maybe they are more naive about what they think parents should be) about putting kids in daycare...but they don't really 'get it' having no kids of their own. It's hard to keep that kid occupied all day.

[dot_com_vet]

I like putting mine in daycare. He learns a lot and he gets to play with other kids. I'm realistic: I know I wouldn't teach him half what they do and I wouldn't be taking him on playdates with other kids nearly enough. I wish my hours were more flexible though.

I agree. When I was an idealist in my 20's, I had decided not to be one of those parents that throw their kids in daycare. Reality gives a different perspective, and daycare has a lot of great social and educational opportunities for the kids. There's no way I could match that even if I stayed home.