Social life after ERE

ToFI · Post by **ToFI** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:03 pm

It comes to my mind that how do we socialize after ERR. When we dont have to go to work and most our friends are working, how can EREer socialize on week days. Will we feel lonely? Even we find people not working to hang out with, we got to be careful the reason that are not working.

directionseeker · Post by **directionseeker** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:17 pm

You have asked the right question at the right place. The best place to start maybe is posting some social event here to meet up with some of our ERE fellow here?
I am not ERE yet, I am still in debt paying phase so I think I won't be joining you.

george · Post by **george** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:55 pm

the difference is you become focused on who you spend time with. You've stepped out of what you perceive to be the socially acceptable route and following that philosophy you stop going to gatherings because you feel you should and start to meet people who enjoy your passions, or who you genuinely have been close too.
Those true friends you used to work with you can meet up at lunch time as well as the weekends if you choose to.
If you're an extrovert you'll enjoy spending time with people, if you're an introvert, you'll appreciate alone time.

LiquidSapphire · Post by **LiquidSapphire** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:18 pm

I still hang out with all the same friends I had before at night and on the weekends. I made some new friends that work from home/are self-employed and don't have the schedule constraints most people do. Like they can come over at 1PM just to talk and hang out. They're my age too, not "retired" so we still have a lot in common. It hasn't really been an issue. Start doing non-work stuff during the day, and you'll find other people who do stuff during the day too.
AND I get to ditch all those stupid work events for birthdays, people I don't care about leaving for another job, blah blah blah. No more contributing $5 because Suzie's kid is selling cookies or whatever. So glad to get rid of that whole mess.

susswein · Post by **susswein** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:17 pm

I'm 8 years into ER and this has been the biggest (and least expected) problem I've had. If you're already married to an ER spouse, plan to spend your ER close to your current friends or plan to spend your time doing activities that don't require a partner this may not be too much of an issue, but in my case it's definitely interfered with my activities. Finding someone to go rock climbing with mid-week is hard, and finding someone to travel/roadtrip with is even harder. As a result I've had to focus more on things I can do solo, and pick up partners when/where I can.

Dorothea · Post by **Dorothea** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:36 pm

Well, once you are actually retired you'd theoretically have the weekends and evenings free for clubs, events and whatever else working people do. Daytime is relatively easily spent on errands, housework and anything else that doesn't require another person around, as well as anything online that isn't dependant on real time.
I have an extended version of that problem, in that I work part time, but end up picking up all the unsocial shifts, ie. evenings and weekends. I am deeply introverted, and it's starting to bug even me.

frugaladventurer · Post by **frugaladventurer** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:11 pm

I was just thinking about this this morning! I doubt I'll have as much problem as a younger person would, since I'm already 56 and won't retire for a few more years.
But I'm single, and was thinking about the fact that most of the men I would date (often they're a little younger then me, as I'm quite youthful) are likely to be still working and not available for extended travel etc that I might like to do in retirement.

spoonman · Post by **spoonman** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 5:53 am

I think forums such as these can be used to connect with others via meetups. There's also organizations (clubs, societies, etc.) you can join and interact with people with similar interests.

mikeBOS · Post by **mikeBOS** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:06 pm

Hasn't been a problem for me. I have my M-F/9-5 working friends who I see on nights and weekends. And I have my friends who work in healthcare and EMS who work odd hours so I can hang out with them during the weekdays. And there are my older relatives who always enjoy a visit for a cup of coffee. And there are my other friends who are more like me; landlords, retirees, business owners who work flexible/part-time hours.

BeyondtheWrap · Post by **BeyondtheWrap** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:56 pm

I work at a store, and a lot of people come shopping during the day on weekdays. Clearly, they're not all at work.
I think there are more people available during the day than you realize.