sugar daddies/sugar mammas

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thrifty++
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sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by thrifty++ »

What do people think about using sugar daddies or sugar mamma's as another income stream? Someone was talking to me about the website seekingarrangements.com in a joking manner and I thought it was quite amusing but also kind of fascinating.

Has anyone done it? What do you think of it? And are sugar mammas realistically even a thing?

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C40
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by C40 »

I've seen quite a few women on Tinder and Bumble say they are looking for a sugar daddy. Sometimes it seems entirely serious, and sometimes it seems they tried to write it in a way that they could claim it was a joke. I watched a (mediocre) documentary on the subject about a month ago. The feeling I got from the documentary is that there are way more young women wanting a sugar daddy than there are men wanting to be sugar daddies. So unless you are super attractive AND are willing to work hard enough at it to outperform the competition, it's probably not worth bothering with this as a potential income stream.

Sugar mammas are certainly a thing. There are WAY fewer than there are sugar daddies. I'd guess (only a guess) that for every 1,000 men who want or are willing to be a sugar daddy, there are maybe 5 women wanting to be a sugar mamma.

Even if there were good sugar momma prospects, I'm all but certain I wouldn't be interested. I could theoretically see myself being a prostitute, as that seems a lot simpler. But, to have an entire serious relationship with that kind of dynamic? No way. Maybe I'm wrong but I imagine that in nearly all sugar relationships there are a ton of mind games, sort of power plays, and attempts at manipulation.

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Ego
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Ego »

Zero experience, but my favorite writer did a story in GQ on it that is hilarious.

http://www.gq.com/story/sugar-daddies-explained

If you ask her if this is prostitution—I never once did with the women I interviewed; every time, they brought it up—she'll say the question is moot.
“I'm kind of pragmatic about the whole thing,” she says. She looks across the table at me, the dummy who had to reschedule on her twice because of all the work I juggle, who has spent far more time and energy writing this story than a commensurate amount of blow jobs would require.
For Tigress, the question is not whether she's a prostitute. It's whether the rest of us are idiots

BRUTE
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by BRUTE »

C40 wrote:
Sat Apr 15, 2017 9:39 pm
I could theoretically see myself being a prostitute
honesty. it's respectable.

Did
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Did »

It's certainly real. Full of young women looking for a little sugar. If you have the cash, go for it.

Eureka
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Eureka »

My take is that unless I get real cash out of the arrangement (but then it is prostitution?), I would anytime prefer a job where I do get real money instead of dinners, flowers, dresses, theater tickets, jewelry, travels, and maybe rent paid.

IlliniDave
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by IlliniDave »

I often joke about finding a sugar momma but never had a serious thought on the matter. There are two reasons for that. One is that I would command less than minimum wage so would find things like bagging groceries far more lucrative. The other is that I'm just too independent-minded/introverted.

I'm getting to the age where I get looked at as a potential sugar daddy, or at least a de-facto one. A fair number of women I've run across are open about seeking an "established" man to take care of them, with the end game being (re)marriage. My superficial appearance belies my degree of establishment (though I have a job/profession that results in respectable income) and so I'm typically not told this as a form of proposition, more likely it's a technique to discourage me a priori. I expect there's an analogous dynamic where the gender roles are reversed, I just don't encounter it so can't speak anecdotally about it.

Especially once midlife rolls around, can't blame people for looking out for their future and being a little business-like in their partnership goals.

Scott 2
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Scott 2 »

I thought this was going to be an answer to - what do you do in the 95% scenario when your investments outgrow your SWR.

Sure seems like the opposite of freedom to me.

Dragline
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Dragline »

Well, it's a transactional arrangement and "You get what you pay for." For however long you can pay.

It strikes me that most of these "solutions" to life are relatively short-term and fragile in nature due to the relatively flimsy basis for the relationship. On the other hand, you might be able to parlay the whole thing into becoming the FLOTUS.

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

My sunglasses, my reading glasses, the upfront cost of my new phone, my bicycle, my hiking sandals, my coffee, my good gray wool coat, my flannel monkey pajamas... some stuff in the room where I am sitting that was purchased for me by a man I was dating. I am currently 52 years old, could stand to lose at least 27 lbs, and I have never been more than moderately pretty. I never date men that I do not consider to be attractive. I like brains enough for amusing conversation and a variety of "man-candy" attributes, and I do not tolerate rude behavior. So, I suppose my net "take" is representative of the slim margin just being female commands in freely negotiated contract.

The way my brain works is that I can't not integrate new information into my overall model. So, ever since I met a couple young girlfriend-experience escorts around 8 years ago, who informed then 44 year old me that I could command at least $250/hr on the GFE escort circuit, I have been compelled to tot up my dating "receipts" along with every other aspect of my lifestyle economics. The average single American man spends around $250/month on dating. The majority of men I date have incomes that are more than twice the average. I don't filter for income. It's just a matter of age and level of erudition. Not a single one of them has ever complained about the expense associated with dating me, because I am very easy-going and flexible, so mostly it is just that they have to buy a second ticket for me on whatever lifestyle they are buying for themselves, because nobody wants to live for free in my camper with me (sigh.)

Another interesting possibility to consider is that if you practice polyamory, you could be functioning as a "baby" in one relationship, and a "Daddy" or a "Mamma" in another relationship at the same time. Also, I would note that if you are a fit, attractive male, there is a much better market for ballroom dancing skills and/or escort-to-the-theater than there is for sex with the uber-wealthy older female crowd.

I thought the GQ article was amusing, but not entirely honest. Power dynamics and trade exist in all relationships, no matter how egalitarian. In our affluent society, few people are truly financially dependent on their partner. Other varieties of dependence can be much more subject to manipulation or result in more loss of freedom. For simple instance, all the notions and values attached to the phrase "father-of-my-children" kept me trapped and miserable in my otherwise egalitarian marriage for many years. My core fear being that my children would hate me if I dumped their Dad. Depending on the men I am currently dating to cover my entertainment and shoe (I do not know why they always buy me shoes) budget is a Grade E level power dynamic comparatively. I would wager that most people have similar ideals such as "true love", "happy family", "being a promise-keeper" that they would, and often do, pay through the nose to maintain.

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jennypenny
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by jennypenny »

I'm available if someone's looking for a sugar momma. PM me a current pic and list any special talents. :D

People bring a variety of resources and skill sets into a partnership as well as their unique needs and desires. I've stopped judging the criteria on which people base their relationships because I've seen too many 'good' partnerships fail and some surprising ones succeed.

BRUTE
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by BRUTE »

jennypenny wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 10:00 am
I'm available if someone's looking for a sugar momma. PM me a current pic and list any special talents. :D
---->

talents: can hold breath for a long time

FrugalFred
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by FrugalFred »

I'd totally be a sugar baby if there were actually some demand for average blokes. It's fun to imagine playing boy toy to generous Selma Hayek clones. In reality I'd be a renting out my orifices to some old queen for pennies.

As I become more financially secure I'll probably become a sugar daddy of sorts. A poster on here once said (for men) women are the fly in the ointment of ERE. I couldn't agree more.

classical_Liberal
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by classical_Liberal »

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Last edited by classical_Liberal on Thu Feb 04, 2021 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

slsdly
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by slsdly »

Well, Mom always said she sees me with an older woman...

EdithKeeler
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by EdithKeeler »

I have offered myself as a Sugar Mama to my boyfriend. We're currently in a long distance relationship and I offered it as enticement to move here. I advised he could live in my house for free and all he has to do is the yard work and keep the house reasonably tidy and take care of the dogs when I go on business trips. Should give him ample time to finish his novel.

Alas, he's not a young boy toy but older than me with his own money, so it's not enough enticement.

I thought it was a pretty good deal!

ether
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by ether »

Oh boy! Nothing like monetizing human affection!

Did
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Did »

@ether It sounds cold, like that. Certainly my wife's financial situation played no role in my choice of her as a partner - it rarely does for men. The opposite is not true no matter what women say (are they more likely to laugh at their bosses joke or the cleaners?).

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@EdithKeeler: That sort of arrangement hardly ever works because human males are fairly territorial. So, they will either attempt to take dominance over your property by peeing around the perimeter, or they will do stuff like leave loaves of bread, bouquets of flowers, or dead animals on your front porch as they cycle in and out of the range in which you dwell which is not within their primary circle of dominance. On rare occasions, they will exhibit scant capability to co-operate, but I wouldn't rely on this on a regular basis. They will usually experience reduced testosterone levels, and sink into sullen resentment, and become incapable of sexual mounting behavior, if you offer them too much direct instruction, which it is difficult not to do, if you are together on that which you wish to remain your turf.

BRUTE
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by BRUTE »

he might even attempt to buy some decorative pillows or a throw rug.

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