sugar daddies/sugar mammas

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Toska2
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Toska2 » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:31 pm

BRUTE wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 10:07 am
jennypenny wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2017 10:00 am
I'm available if someone's looking for a sugar momma. PM me a current pic and list any special talents. :D
---->

talents: can hold breath for a long time

I can hold my breath and hop on one foot.

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:04 am

Sclass said: My extended family is polluted by these long term dalliances. Rent to own is a bad option IMHO. Things are very complicated now for me and my half siblings.

THe men in my family who do this have it down to a science. It's like employment. If you pay too much they will leave. If you pay too little they'll leave. They have played it that way till the eve of their deaths. Now we have a bunch of nervous hang arounds trying to jockey for "guarantees ". It's sick.
Right, but if you flow chart all the other options from the perspectives of all of the participants in the system, what do you arrive at? For better or worse, I have been in almost every position on the field at some point in my life. I even had a brief relationship with a man who was 12 years younger than me, had been laid off from his engineering position, and wanted some of my insight into starting his own business. I knew it wouldn't work, but he finally got me with "I think you are pretty AND cool." In spite of repeated attempts to alter my behavior in the direction of role models such as KashDoll or Cokie Roberts, my extreme core dorky-ness prevents me from maintaining the posture of "the cool one" for more than about 5 minutes. Also, the business we were going to start together was based on one of my more whimsical ideas which was the production and marketing of hypa-tufa porch-ornament animals which would be like concrete geese, but for people who didn't live in rural trailer parks. So, he dumped me for a bartender with a very assertive manner who was a couple years younger than him.

Anyways, I think when you communicate "rent to own" is a bad option, this is because it is kind of like choosing to robot invest in an index fund. Taleb said you should always "lease" the 3 Fs, not "rent to own" them. The funny thing is that I am obviously always looking out for my own self-interest when I am in relationship, but I also tend towards not respecting men who don't look out for their own self-interest too. I mean, I am a super-great person who can sometimes behave in a charming manner, so I can grok why somebody might fall madly in love with me, but if he started throwing his money, or other resources, recklessly in my direction, then that is just like a man who can't handle his liquor. So, bit of a Catch-22.

I am supposed to meet with my older, married, quite affluent, ex-polyamour who is still madly in love with me this afternoon. My current BF who is closer to my age and financial peer (3 vs. 11 years difference, 6 digits not 7) and not madly in love with me, once "kept" a much younger woman when he was working overseas for a couple years, so he just laughed and said "Of course, he wants to get back with a sweet, young thing like you. Is he going to leave his wife?" Since many years ago, I was also in the role of the wife in an egalitarian relationship with a husband who was considering a dalliance with a younger woman, I believe that it may cause the teeth of many of my "sisters" to gnash when I reveal that on my second date with this man, he said something like "Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that I make a great deal more money than you, and my wife also earns a very good income, so I would like to offer to pick up the bill for any expenses involved in our relationship." I am in one of my more Nihilist moods today, so I am trying to think up some demand that is completely outrageous, since making myself look ugly and communicating curt-dismissive didn't work. I was a bit in love with him, so I have to use some caution.

What it comes down to is how are you ever going to stop a monkey from using any tool it has at hand to get the piece of fruit that it wants?

enigmaT120
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by enigmaT120 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:16 pm

Why make up demands? If you don't want a relationship with him say "No."

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:51 pm

@enigmaT120: Curse of the ENTP. Ambivalence. He looks and acts like a buff Paul Newman, and he adores me. Also, it's kind of harder to say "No" to somebody who practices polyamory because they are willing to re-frame the relationship so many ways. I guess I kinds sorta agreed to do things as a friend with him. Anyways, I said "No" to sex in relationship with two very attractive men this month. That is like gold star level impulse control for me. Maybe I am becoming a Stoic!

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Sclass
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Sclass » Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:12 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:04 am

Anyways, I think when you communicate "rent to own" is a bad option, this is because it is kind of like choosing to robot invest in an index fund. Taleb said you should always "lease" the 3 Fs, not "rent to own" them.
You're right. I'm looking at it from my point of view. There are a lot of parties involved and it has become the source of survival for a small tribe of people around me. I have to deal with the headache. I actually was thinking about Taleb but I didn't want to use Fs.

What I was trying to say is I've seen this play out with the same hosts and symbiotes for decades. They are not bouncy young sugar babies anymore.

Nobody is really happy either though they all ran off into these relationships with reckless abandonment.

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:47 am

@Sclass: Right, maybe your position is similar to that of the manager of a football team with two quarterbacks who are 36 and 37, or the CFO of a software company with two lead programmers who are 26 and 27 :lol:

Seriously, I think this is another, should have been predictable, symptom of the decline of the middle-class. We're becoming a culture of the affluent and the not-affluent, and affluent older men have always and everywhere been inclined towards taking on sugar babies, second wives, second "wives", mistresses, concubines, girlfriend-experience-escorts etc. Three things that are new would be the ease of using the internet when seeking such relationships or arrangements, the availability of effective birth control, and the fact that many affluent men are achieving their affluence working in tandem in egalitarian relationship with a female who has her own career. And that middle-aged female who is locked in dual-career affluent-lifestyle partnership with her husband is likely no longer a bouncy young bit of sugar herself anymore. That's why it rarely makes good economic sense to commit to a financially egalitarian relationship with a man. Disney Princess movies and Bride magazine are remnants of propaganda from an age when females were not granted full legal status and privileges as individuals.

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Sclass
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Sclass » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:25 am

7- you nailed it. No smiley needed. I was brought in to maintain order. Ironically I am also the member of the family that openly objected to this behavior when I was younger. I ended up running away. And now I'm back. Too much time on my hands. And proven money management skills. How did I get here? Something to do with rescuing my mom who didn't really want to be rescued.

It gets way worse. Bizarre stuff. But it is basically the result of male and female monkeys with sticks that work. Money and sex.

Nobody is thinking about the fallout. This crap has been going on way too long in my tribe. I literally share more DNA in common with my half sister than my full sister. Sick.

7- I get it. (Kind of, your posts are too deep for me sometimes). It's the man and woman's fault. And is it a fault? From what point of view? My step and half siblings and cousins are certainly surviving and breeding.

enigmaT120
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by enigmaT120 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:44 am

I could see it as a form of generational wealth transfer. I married a woman 17 years older than me, and while I certainly wasn't a sugar baby ( I supported her!) she had a house which, sold, was more than enough for a down payment for our house. If, as is likely, I outlive her, I could find a much younger woman to last the rest of my life and she could have all my stuff after I die. I come by it honestly: my dad was 25 years older than my mom.

thrifty++
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by thrifty++ » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:49 am

James_0011 wrote:
Mon Apr 17, 2017 11:24 am
Im not sure if this counts, but I am in my twenties and have some kind of relationship with a woman twice my age. I wouldn't say that we are partners, but we have sex and spend time together. She lives on the other side of the world for some parts of the year, and pays for my plane ticket to fly and visit her, she also pays for my transportation and food when I visit, and of course I stay with her for free. She also buys me presents/gifts all the time.

So, its not really a sugar momma situation since she doesn't give me straight cash, but its close.
Sounds like a sugar mamma to me. Interesting. If you asked for money do you think she would give it?

James_0011
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by James_0011 » Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:25 pm

thrifty++ wrote:
Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:49 am
James_0011 wrote:
Mon Apr 17, 2017 11:24 am
Im not sure if this counts, but I am in my twenties and have some kind of relationship with a woman twice my age. I wouldn't say that we are partners, but we have sex and spend time together. She lives on the other side of the world for some parts of the year, and pays for my plane ticket to fly and visit her, she also pays for my transportation and food when I visit, and of course I stay with her for free. She also buys me presents/gifts all the time.

So, its not really a sugar momma situation since she doesn't give me straight cash, but its close.
Sounds like a sugar mamma to me. Interesting. If you asked for money do you think she would give it?
Not sure, she lent me like three hundred dollars one time but I paid her back right away.

I think its definitely doable with the right person though if you're good-looking enough and good at having sex. These older women just want a young, hot guy to make them feel like they are sexy and in college again. Getting into this type of situation would be hard though (or at least it would be for me as I don;t know that many older women or even where to meet them), I just kind of stumbled into what I have now.

For the record, Im probably in the top ten percent of men my age looks wise and I have no doubt that she wouldn't be interested in me at all if I wasn't good-looking.

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Eureka
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Eureka » Sun Apr 23, 2017 2:26 am

James_0011 wrote:
Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:25 pm
These older women just want a young, hot guy to make them feel like they are sexy and in college again.
I don't think so. She does it because she can afford it and the money she spends on you is no big deal to her. Good sex (each woman her preferences, but good to her) is much more important than looks, or does she constantly take you to public places where she can show you off?

And are you only doing it for the travels and the other things she spends on you or do you enjoy what you do together and would do it anyway, if she lived close by and didn't 'pay' you?

James_0011
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by James_0011 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:45 am

No she doesn't show me off, but I'm not sure how you could draw your conclusions as you don't know either of us. I enjoy spending time with her, the amount of money she spends on me isn't significant enough for me to hangout with her for that alone.

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 8:27 am

I think being with a younger partner can make you feel younger in some ways, but being with an older partner can also make you feel younger in other ways. For instance, a couple years ago I was camping along the southeast coast for a couple months in the winter with my early-ish retired ex who was 7 years older than me (57), and we were both younger than the majority of Snowbirds we encountered, so I was constantly being asked if I wanted a ride by men driving by in golf carts as I took my morning hike.

I appreciated the energetic display of my lover who was 32 when I was 44 (how did I end up with my head under this desk!?), but I also remember thinking "Egads, his skin is softer than mine." and then feeling like a bit of a blood-sucking crone. I mean, even if you have 3 lovers who are all over 50, it is kind of like having 3 tubes of toothpaste that are almost gone, and you have to keep rolling them up to get the last little bits out, but I sort of have a talent for that sort of thing, and I prefer older men otherwise.

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BRUTE
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by BRUTE » Sun Apr 23, 2017 2:38 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Sun Apr 23, 2017 8:27 am
Egads, his skin is softer than mine.
the secret is lotion

7Wannabe5
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:50 pm

BRUTE said: the secret is lotion
lol- Yeah, but you gotta buy it buy the gallon when you are over 50. Constant maintenance. CONSTANT maintenance. My cuckoo-bananas sister is yoga-starving herself back down to the same size as Christie Brinkley. She sometimes likes them younger, but there's no way she would pay for it. She sent some 22 year old a fuzzy picture of her abdomen because she doesn't even know how to use technology, but it still worked. He delivered himself like a pizza. She is a good influence on me in the realms of fitness, aesthetics and music, but otherwise not so much.

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Eureka
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by Eureka » Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:59 pm

James_0011 wrote:
Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:45 am
I'm not sure how you could draw your conclusions as you don't know either of us.
I don't draw any conclusions about you two, but you made a general bold statement:
These older women just want a young, hot guy to make them feel like they are sexy and in college again.
So I replied in a general way.

James_0011
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Re: sugar daddies/sugar mammas

Post by James_0011 » Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:25 am

Eureka wrote:
Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:59 pm
James_0011 wrote:
Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:45 am
I'm not sure how you could draw your conclusions as you don't know either of us.
I don't draw any conclusions about you two, but you made a general bold statement:
These older women just want a young, hot guy to make them feel like they are sexy and in college again.
So I replied in a general way.
Oh, by 'these older women" I mean "older women who are attracted to young guys" not "all older women".

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