Investment in Aesthetics

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Ego
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Ego » Tue Jul 05, 2016 1:01 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:Most of the women my age in my realm who would be deemed to be very attractive, look the same to me. I see them walking through the Whole Foods in the wealthy suburb north of me, and they look just like a row of McMansions. Like they all do the same workout at the same yoga or pilates studio, pick up the same assortment of prepared healthy stuff from the buffet, go to the same hair salons, buy their clothes at the same boutiques. B-O-R-I-N-G.
It's funny but this is how I imagine most of the women who post here, without the B-O-R-I-N-G :D . They look similar (like McMansions as you say) because healthy people actually do look similar to one another, especially when they've just come from an exercise class and are wearing the requisite attire. They've figured out what they need to do to be healthy (and wealthy) and they do it, no excuses or rationalizations requiring mental-gymnastics or individual, complex calculators. They pay attention to what's going into their mouth in the same way they pay attention to the line items on their budgets.

I guess the thing that struck me is that some of the women here are worried that it is not enough to be a McMansion/provider/smart/capable/fit/funny/strong woman and they are actually concerned about holding onto their men and their marriages. I wonder if that thought has even occurred to any of the men.
7Wannabe5 wrote:I also refuse to give a damn about my ability to perform a pull-up so long as I am able to attract others with relatively more upper body strength to wield a pick-ax.
Ability to attract others. Is that a healthy gauge? It is definitely a currency so an investment in aesthetics might very well be justified. But is it healthy?

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 1:49 pm

Ego said: They look similar (like McMansions as you say) because healthy people actually do look similar to one another,
Oh, bologna. There isn't as much variability in the human species as has, for instance, been bred into dogs, but one person might naturally look more like a St. Bernard while another might naturally look more like a Chihuahua. Guess what? Some breeds of dogs do live longer than other breeds of dogs. Short humans live longer than tall humans. Quite possibly naturally lithe humans live longer than naturally stocky humans. What I am seeing in the realm of the 5% are affluent women who have purchased what looks like healthy and attractive on today's market. You are perhaps not as privy to the secret not-so-healthy practices of the tribe of healthy-in-appearance women as I am. Smoking on the sly, 80% of calories obtained from sulfite free white wine, weekly colon cleansing appointments, prescriptions for metabolism increasing thyroid medication for non-existent condition, borrowing some of the kiddo's Ritalin, etc. etc. etc. Turn of the last century they would purchase worms to swallow and corsets to tighten. Wealthy Romans had vomitoriums for similar purposes.
Ability to attract others. Is that a healthy gauge? It is definitely a currency so an investment in aesthetics might very well be justified. But is it healthy?
Depends. Appearances can be deceiving, but I think on some level looking like you are still fertile is indicative of the fact that you aren't about to dry up and crack like a brittle pod, now empty of seeds, and blow away on the wind. I truly believe that hormonal factors are as important as the factors best revealed by BMI.
I guess the thing that struck me is that some of the women here are worried that it is not enough to be a McMansion/provider/smart/capable/fit/funny/strong woman and they are actually concerned about holding onto their men and their marriage. I wonder if that has even occurred to any of the men.
I don't think anybody here ought to be worried. For better or for worse, I have heard or read a great many midlife divorce and marital affair stories. Significant change in "market value" of one spouse vs. the other, always leads to tension and often leads to divorce. Good stress can be as destructive as bad stress. For instance, among my cohort group and older, if/when the wife starts making significantly more money than the husband, one or the other of them frequently has an affair. Men are usually pretty forgiving of a wife getting out of shape physically or showing signs of natural aging, but if she combines that behavior with shutting down sexually because she doesn't feel attractive anymore or her hormone level has declined, the marriage will often be put at significant risk.

Freedom_2018
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Freedom_2018 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:10 pm

This thread is sad in so many ways.

M

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:55 pm

@Freedom_2018: True, but we rational Stoics must not tolerate any sort of weak slide into the realm of feelings. If babies must be allowed to let starve in Africa, and all other comforting, romantic notions about the way the world really works swept aside, so be it !!!

Actually, I apologize if I am coming off even more obnoxious than usual, but I am on a diet, it is like 90 degrees and super humid here, the IRS wants me to prove that I don't owe them $3500, and my only remaining in-service lover just left the country for 3 weeks. I am pretty much down to coffee and debate.

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Olaz
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Olaz » Tue Jul 05, 2016 6:10 pm

Ego wrote: about holding onto their men and their marriages.
Interestingly enough, I think possessiveness in relationships--or even saying "my" partner, or "my" wife, or "my" body--are all potential happiness pit falls. In all of my relationships, I remind myself that people or even my very body are not "mine". Instead, I am deeply appreciating and experiencing their and my own transient company, whether that is for a lifetime or a few more nights.

Perhaps aging people would be better served by reminding themselves that their partners will indeed leave at some point (whether biologically or socially), and work toward nourishing those relationships (as I'm sure many people on here already are). :)

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BRUTE
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by BRUTE » Tue Jul 05, 2016 6:23 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:I am on a diet
what kind of diet?

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Freedom_2018 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 7:39 pm

@7wb5

As someone intimately involved for the past 8 years (24x7x365) with a woman who turned 60 this year and is 17 yrs older to me and has lost 160 pounds in that time (yes loose skin and all) and continues to amaze me with incredible character, gentleness, intelligence and the playfulness of a little girl still alive inside....my apologies if I do not fully comprehend all this angst over looks etc. I get it intellectually but there is a whole other range of experiences on the other side of mere physical appearance, especially in a primary partner.

And no babies don't have to die, at least not when and where we can help it (they do but what counts is the starfish we throw back in the ocean).

Sorry about the heat. Seems like a cooling thunderstorm is in order. I have nice memories of St Ignace and Copper Harbor in the UP.

M

Noided

Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Noided » Wed Jul 06, 2016 4:25 am

In response to the original post/question, my approach to looks and aesthetics is to reach a level where I am not excluding myself from daily social activities. For example, wearing almost the same thing day in day out, is not exclusive. Wearing all black when you have poor social skills is (I switched my black t shirts for grey t shirts for this reason).

Beyond clothing, I shower everyday, try to have a nice odor and trim my beard once in a while (I am kind of lazy on this).

How you look is strategic in my opinion. I want to signal simplicity, a bit of excentricity but also friendliness. I don't want to signal wealth, status (or not the kind of status that is mainstream) and impracticality. The understand the last one, picture a woman on high heels + this kind of floor that is common in Portugal:
https://aventadores.files.wordpress.com ... .jpg?w=640

Yeah, those are hundreds of little rocks stacked together and not perfectly leveled.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:50 am

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Last edited by 7Wannabe5 on Sun Jul 10, 2016 6:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Ego
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Ego » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:40 pm

Zalo wrote:Interestingly enough, I think possessiveness in relationships--or even saying "my" partner, or "my" wife, or "my" body--are all potential happiness pit falls.
This way of thinking is certainly becoming more popular today. Popularity does not make it correct. It is not a solution. It is a symptom of a much larger problem. In fact, it is the lack of investment in a relationship that causes attachment problems to flourish in the next generation. Instability breeds increasing instability. Generationally, security breeds increasing security.

See both....
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachmen ... lts#Styles

Consider that from a consumerism perspective, the more atomized, frightened and insecure we are, the better consumers we are. It is no secret that this is why "The News" has flourished from a half-hour in the evening to 24/7 on hundreds of channels. Can you think of any media portrayals that mock what you call possessiveness in relationships or those that encourage (and even celebrate) atomization? There is a reason this idea is becoming more popular. If you've got a high-profit, highly-advertised product to sell, you want to create as many insecure, atomized eyeballs as possible.

And if you've got a few hours to spare....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ3RzGoQC4s

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:17 am

Ego said: There is a reason this idea is becoming more popular. If you've got a high-profit, highly-advertised product to sell, you want to create as many insecure, atomized eyeballs as possible.
I think this argument is somewhat confounded by the fact that there are more practitioners of poly-amory on this forum than in the general population. The way it works is that if you live in the post-Freudian world, and you and your partners can all say "post-Freudian", and talk over coffee about attachment-theory, then there is a level on which you don't have to engage in the process discussed in attachment-theory. Of course, there remains another level on which you still do have to engage in the process discussed in attachment theory.

For instance, I was often cared for by my grandmother, my great-grandmother and another older Polish woman who lived next door when I was very young. So, in one of my earliest memories, I am running on bare chubby toddler feet up and down the wooden hallway in an old house because my Great-grandmother wants me to come cuddle in one bed with her, and my grandmother wants me to come cuddle in another bed with her, and they are both laughing and calling to me with Polish pet names. It was a situation in which I felt very much loved and wanted, but under a bit of tension to choose. So, I can relate this memory to any or all of my poly-amours, and discuss how it pertains to our relationship and/or my choice to live in a Polish enclave as I enter into my pre-grandma phase of life.

OTOH, I could choose to have a discussion on the basis of sibling-peer-relationship theory rather than attachment theory. I could talk with one of my partners about how that theory suggests that I might have difficulty in relationship because I had no brothers. This theory also suggest that only children will have difficulty forming relationships as adults, so this growing demographic might be a partial cause of atomization of the non-self-aware.

I can also discuss a relationship, or multiple relationships, on the basis of power dynamics, economic exchange, sexual dichotomy theory, etc. etc. etc.

When you practice poly-amory, you are purposefully choosing to be relaxed in your attachment, in a similar manner to the way you can purposefully choose to relax your anxiety center when you engage in S&M type interactions. OTOH, I don't think it is appropriate to assign moral superiority to either of these practices, such as scoffing at people who prefer "vanilla" sex, or stating that polyamory is akin to graduate school level relationship practice. They're both just nerdy things to do that will serve the self-interest of some people some times and other people not at all. I would agree that engaging in either practice can tend towards causing a bit of "what is really real?" nihilistic depression at times, but that's pretty much the downside of being a nerdy deconstructionist in any context, and just requires re-centering yourself on the always very real moment and your presence in it with another person who will always be both known and unknown, and never truly possessed by you.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:38 am

BRUTE said: what kind of diet?
I have a reasonably high metabolism and a cast-iron digestive system, so what works on spreadsheet level for me is to just multiply my desired weight by 12 and then multiply the difference between my desired weight and my current weight by 3500, and then divide by the days until I achieve my goal and subtract the second number from the first number and that's how many calories I can eat plus calories burned from overt exercise activities. If I can stick with it, it always works almost like clockwork for me. However, the sticking with it part is difficult, so I have to consider some other factors. High fat helps me with satiety, so I try to make my main meal of the day something like catfish, mixed greens and blue cheese. I am also an absolutely irredeemable sugar fiend, so I allow myself some small lower calorie, very sugary treats, like lemon drops, rather than anything resembling a giant muffin, where I am scarfing down a ton of other stuff just to get at the sugar. I don't attempt anything very rigid in terms of either type of food or time eaten etc. because my lifestyle involves sharing food with a number of different people in a number of different circumstances. For instance, yesterday I met the Peacemaker for a bicycle ride and lunch, so I had to make lunch my main meal and compensate a bit for restaurant calories with extra long bike ride. I'm also a distracted eater, so I have to arrange things so that I don't have easy access to anything high calorie I can absent-minded munch on while I am walking around drinking coffee and thinking to myself. I also frugal kedge/reward myself whenever I attempt anything as difficult as dieting. For instance, I will go to the drugstore and browse through a fashion magazine until I see an outfit that I want, then I will go to the Salvation Army where everything costs $1 and scavenge myself that outfit for $5 when I've lost 5 lbs.

Of course, I'm a total baby and a self-aware sensualist, not a Stoic like most of you guys, so I have to work harder at tricking myself with cleverness rather than just powering through. One book I read said that dieting is so hard for the average person, it is best to set in place as many blockades in front of future you as possible. So, if my usual arsenal doesn't work, I will just keep wielding more tools towards creating the illusion of non-existent will-power. In my experience, future me is often a pretty self-indulgent, extremely clever at inventing rationalizations kind of person, who would very much like to have whatever she wants whenever she wants it, so I have to keep reminding, reminding, reminding her what she wants more. I know that the proper thing for a person to desire more when they attempt to lose weight is something to do with health statistics or being able to win a sporting event, but that doesn't usually work the best for me, so I generally tell myself that my sex life will get even hawter if I get in better shape and watch some Shakira or Beyonce videos for inspiration. So, that is one of the reasons why it is highly unlikely I will ever choose to get married again. I will probably get fat and die early if I am stuck with some guy who totally conks out on me drive/desire-wise (ED I know very well how to address.) The other reason I won't get married again is I do not want to lose another garden just because some man exhibits intolerable behavior and I can't afford to keep the property on my own or it does not belong to me. I probably will not even live with a man again for that reason. If I want constant companionate affection, I will acquire a dog.

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BRUTE
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by BRUTE » Thu Jul 07, 2016 11:27 am

brute has found fasting a very cheap and flexible diet. the reason he asked is that when brute saw that diet post, he had not eaten in 3 days. no cravings. turns out if humans are above 5% body fat, they don't need to eat. for every lb of body fat, there's 3500kcal, which should last over a day for most humans.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Jul 07, 2016 11:53 am

@BRUTE: I was just babbling to myself in my response to your question. I generally diet immoderately enough that it turns out to be some manner of fast, because I do not enjoy the tedium of endless calorie counting. I choose to eat for pleasure more than for pain avoidance. I am about the last person on the planet who would choose to consume a uniform balanced soylent formula in pursuit of a linear goal. I want the most complex, varied inputs possible.

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BRUTE
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by BRUTE » Thu Jul 07, 2016 2:21 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:I am about the last person on the planet who would choose to consume a uniform balanced soylent formula in pursuit of a linear goal.
brute is exactly the type of person who wants that and tried soylent. stopped quickly, because it's just not that great in any respect. it's not cheap, it's not filling, it doesn't taste good, it's not easy (unless drinking the more expensive bottles), brute showed malnutrition symptoms that went away with regular food, it doesn't have a good macro profile.. just fasting x% of the time is so much better.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Jul 07, 2016 3:16 pm

My recent experiment with eating off my "land" was kind of interesting because in terms of calories consumed it was much like a purposeful weight-reduction diet, but psychologically it was completely different because my challenge was to find enough food, not limit my intake of overly plentiful supply. When the Cowboy picked me up and took me to a restaurant, I felt this primitive level response of "Mmmmm. Good food." as I started digging in, and it didn't have so much to do with the taste or my knowledge of the nutrition, but more like a feeling of relief along the lines of "This is safe to eat, and it will sustain me for a while." I think we have lost that primitive feeling about food, both through our affluent over-indulgence and our affluent tendencies towards all manners of being finicky about what we eat. I think that is why people fast for religious purposes. I fasted over Ramadan a couple times, and not drinking any liquid was even a bigger challenge. It was the heat of summer, and I engaged in manual labor, and told myself that the initial signals of thirst my body was offering up were just warnings that would pass, and they did. That first sip of pomegranate juice at sunset was fantastic. Hunger is nothing compared to thirst. Protection from dangerous exposure to the elements, water, a secure place to sleep, then you are right, food can wait a little while if you have some fat stores, but not too long because you might not be able to find any or enough. Then somebody drives up in a brand new car, and you go so very fast to a place where they put a big varied plate of food from all over the world down right in front of you. How did that happen? What a miracle!!! What a delight!!! How lucky we are!!!

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Ego
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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by Ego » Fri Jul 08, 2016 7:13 am

Attachment style calculator. These surveys are designed to measure your attachment style--the way you relate to others in the context of close relationships.

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Jul 08, 2016 9:12 am

1.67/2.56

Of course, it was a bit difficult to answer some of the questions when you practice poly-amory. For instance, when I was considering the question about whether I was comfortable openly expressing my affectionate feelings to my partner, I had to parse it to something like "Are you comfortable openly expressing your affectionate feelings to each of your partners in a manner that is appropriate and honest for that relationship?" I am very much comfortable looking the Peacemaker right in the eyes and saying "I love you." I am very comfortable biting the Permaculture Manager on the shoulder to get his attention and saying "That was fantastic. I really enjoy having sex with you, and I like being your friend." and I am also quite comfortable having discussions with the Cowboy about the fact that he is still overly attached to a prior partner who dumped him, and therefore not completely head over heels in his feelings for me, actually works out to a pretty good balance given my more romantic attachment to the Peacemaker, and I am also quite comfortable telling him that I likey-like him and miss him while he is away on business.

I had a discussion with the Peacemaker about what Zalo posted about possessive language and polyamory, and I told him how I found the term poly-amour awkward and non-specific, so I had to make up specific names for use when I write on forums like this. He agreed that being overly possessive can be harmful, but he refers to me as "my girlfriend" and he refers to his wife as "my wife", so there isn't really any confusion and it doesn't seem like a big deal using the "my." I am trying not to fall-back on pulling recognizable models from the box when thinking about my polyamorous relationships, but my relationship with the Peacemaker would be something like being the adored mistress of somebody who lives in a culture where you feel comfortable introducing another person as your mistress. My relationship with the Cowboy would be kind of like(falling back on TV characters-sigh)if Elaine was more cuddly and sexual in her relationship with somebody who was kind of like a cross between Jerry and George, but Elaine was more like Kramer personality-wise. My relationship with the Permaculture Manager would be kind of like two people who are very compatible competitive dance and bridge partners, but don't interact that much except when they are dancing or playing bridge. I was feeling a little bit afraid that the Peacemaker might leave his wife, or the Cowboy might go more head over heels for me, and I was feeling a bit awkward about resuming my "dance" (but not "bridge") relationship with the Permaculture Manager after introducing him to one of my other dance partners, but now I've calmed down a bit. I don't want to go back to being monogamous, and I can't even quite explain why. I was questioning myself about whether it was mostly along the lines of "twice bitten, three times shy" given my previous experiences with marriage and "marriage." But, I truly believe it just has more to do with my ENTP personality type. I can't go to the library and only check out one book. In fact, I prefer to maintain borrowing privileges at 3 different libraries. The thought of a full-time career for the rest of my life makes me feel absolutely buried alive, but 3 or 4 different part-time job/hobbies seems delightful to me. My social inclination is more towards the tribal than the dyad. I know it isn't acceptable to feel or behave this way in our culture, and other people likely won't understand, just like how I have great difficulty understanding people who don't want to have children. I'm a person who has always wanted sex and love, home and family, but has never dreamed of finding a soul-mate or a life-partner. So, DINK marriages seem or feel like the worst of all worlds to me, but I understand that choice might be the very best for some people with differing temperaments, experiences or external motivators. And, I even applaud the fact that those who choose to engage in lifelong committed relationship with one other person are delving into complexity at the level of the always-same-yet-ever-unknown-lover. Like somebody who devotes their life to studying the Talmud.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by IlliniDave » Fri Jul 08, 2016 9:23 am

I got put in the the "dismissing region of the space" (low anxiety/high avoidance). That sounds sorta bad but apparently what it boils down to is that my need for autonomy will sometimes be to the detriment of personal relationships. That seems fair and consistent with my own self-assessment. In iDave parlance my tongue-in-cheek way of saying that is that I'm not good partner material because I'm too selfish, at least at this stage of my journey. One of the reasons I basically quit deliberately dating was because it was too often the case potential sweethearts either wanted to jump immediately into a full-blown partnership (or the opposite--immediately dismiss the future prospects of anything significant/long lasting and therefore no interest in any sort of ongoing interaction/friendship). Me wanting to walk a razor's edge marking my own comfortable balance between autonomy and relationship made the whole situation even more unstable and untenable. Ah, well.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Jul 08, 2016 9:29 am

Anyways, back to the original topic of this thread, I think what I was really muddling about on a practical basis was whether or not I am going to reward myself for losing 15 lbs. and thereby getting back into the healthy BMI range, by throwing down for some Botox and/or vein stripping and/or professional coloring/cut and/or mani/pedi/with leg massage, or whether you guys had any better frugal type ideas?

The reason I put on a bit of weight recently is the combination of the fact that the Cowboy and the Peacemaker have been taking me out to eat too much, and I've been substituting manual labor for exercise too much. I always seem to gain a chunk of weight when I become engaged in projects that are manual labor intensive because I space out on my eating habits. For instance, when I first moved into my very old house a number of years ago, I was ripping out moldy ceiling tiles and running floor stripper and moving around large appliances by myself all day long, and just grabbing food for myself and throwing down whatever for my family low priority, and next thing I knew I had packed on some pounds. It's like I think I deserve to eat like a longshoreman but my manual labor doesn't really add up to that.

4 lbs down. 11 to go (sigh.)

NOTE: Didn't mean to direct thread back to this topic only. Attachment test is very interesting. This can be a poly-topic-thread ;)

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:00 am

@IlliniDave: I applaud your choice to explore complexity at the level of self in solitude with nature or thought at this juncture in your life. It would probably be a growth experience for me to do an exercise in celibacy at some juncture. I have made attempts in the past and what happens is I either end up with a very inappropriate partner I wouldn't have chosen if I was self-aware shopping or I cheat in various ways roughly equivalent to Bill Clinton claiming not to have had sex with Monica. For instance, when I was 19 I read a terrible book on the topic of reclaiming your virginity, and then a month or so later I ended up stranded overnight on the shore of Lake Superior with an attractive boy who was not inclined towards respecting my virginity reclamation project. It would be much easier if the damn donuts didn't have legs and arm muscles attached.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by IlliniDave » Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:56 am

7Wannabe5, celibacy is an unwanted side effect of doing what I need to do fulfill my vision without venturing into things I find distasteful. I'd have no issue surrendering my honorary virginity under the right circumstances. :D In my weird little head I distinguish between avoiding the midlifer serial dating scene and striving for celibacy.

I tend to see myself exploring the simplicity of self rather than complexity, but maybe I'm kidding myself. ;)

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by enigmaT120 » Fri Jul 08, 2016 11:38 am

"According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 3.22, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 3.88, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance). "

I didn't even know what half those questions meant, and it seemed like they kept asking the same ones over and over again.

Do I find it easy to depend on my partner? For what? It didn't say.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by jennypenny » Fri Jul 08, 2016 11:40 am

Ego wrote:Attachment style calculator. These surveys are designed to measure your attachment style--the way you relate to others in the context of close relationships.

http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl
According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 4.78, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 4.28, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).

Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the fearful region of the space. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that fearful people tend to have much difficulty in their relationships. They tend to avoid becoming emotionally attached to others, and, even in cases in which they do enter a committed relationship, the relationship may be characterized by mistrust or a lack of confidence.


I can imagine how bad I'd score if I was drowning in the dating pool instead of happily married. Just once, I want someone to post a survey where I come out looking good. :P The only tests that ever make me look good are IQ tests, but in this crowd I'm pretty sure I'm average at best.

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Re: Investment in Aesthetics

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:06 pm

IlliniDave said: In my weird little head I distinguish between avoiding the midlifer serial dating scene and striving for celibacy.
lol-Gotcha. The midlifer serial dating scene is a tad "distasteful", or maybe something more like "hypocritical." I don't suppose there is much of a polymorous scene in your neck of the woods? I was trying to think of a mental exercise to challenge people's boundaries on this matter. Something like if you and your current partner were stranded on a tropical island for 10 years with two other attractive-and-interesting-to-you humans who were sexually attracted to you but not your current partner or each other, and your partner decided it was okay, would you partner with the other two humans for the duration of your stay on the island? What if the situation was vice-versa? As I believe is evidenced by the photos I posted above, I have 3 very attractive partners who are all very interesting in different ways, and all tending towards contributing towards my self-interest in various ways. I am S-P-O-I-L-E-D.

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