The lonely death

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jacob
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The lonely death

Post by jacob »

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world ... every-year

Of course, there's now an app for that, e.g. https://deathswitch.com/

... but it would be better to attempt some social relations with the neighbours.

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GandK
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Re: The lonely death

Post by GandK »

That was one of the saddest things I've read in a long time.

This is one of the best arguments for redefining "family."

frihet
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Re: The lonely death

Post by frihet »

Thank you , touching

Two of the most beautiful/saintly people i've met worked in hospice.

Close to the impermance pointer of death there seem also to be meaning.

Great service to society by this man.

Did
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Re: The lonely death

Post by Did »

Makes me wonder about the kids thing. Guess you'd just have to be used to being alone when you're that crusty.

Having said that, this guy was only 60. He could have had a rich life.

Dragline
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Re: The lonely death

Post by Dragline »

It's the story of the endgame of consumerism and careerism. What does a cog do when the machine stops?

"Watanabe was a child of the “boom years” and of the “Japanese dream,” and it is therefore probable that his death was linked to the faltering economy. In Japan, the identity of many businessmen, or “salarymen” as they are commonly known, is fused with that of their business. During the boom years many of these workers sacrificed family and friends for the growth of their companies. However, when the Japanese economy eventually crashed in the early ’90s, many of these salarymen lost their jobs or were forced into smaller, less prestigious roles with less social security. Having lost their status they found they had no purpose in life. Scott North argues that “the fact that most deaths are between 60 and 64 [years old] supports the idea that separation from the workplace community and inability to adapt to retirement may contribute to isolated deaths.”"


And Man's Search for Meaning:

"Koremura has a very good relationship with his workers, and the camaraderie they share is very important to him. This is something he has learned since starting the company: That, as sentimental as it sounds, deep relationships are the most significant thing in his life.

“Dead people have taught me how to live better,” he says, aware of the irony."

black_son_of_gray
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Re: The lonely death

Post by black_son_of_gray »

Dragline wrote:It's the story of the endgame of consumerism and careerism. What does a cog do when the machine stops?
Ikiru: The main character is even named Watanabe!

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Ego
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Re: The lonely death

Post by Ego »

The pace of cultural change is faster than ever and it is accelerating. Watanabe and people like him are the roadkill.

When we are young it is easy to be fooled into believing that the best strategy for dealing with the increasing pace of change is stoic independence. Be dependent on no one. Need nothing. Practice something long enough and you are bound to get good at it.

Watanabe's end is the increasingly common result. While it is sad, it could be worse. He could have lived another forty years.

There are better alternatives than stoic independence. But it can be hard to be vulnerable. Interdependence has an element of dependence. It can be uncomfortable. Sometimes disappointing. Even infuriating.

Practice something long enough and you are bound to get good at it.

7Wannabe5
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Re: The lonely death

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I met an Iranian woman whose second husband was a Japanese man who was an engineer and one of the leadership in a company that failed. He chose to stay in Iran because it was such a mess, he felt like he could be of use. Iran and the United States are alike in that most people are mostly concerned with being happy. In Japan, more people are more concerned with being useful.

If you believe in sexual dichotomy psychological theory, it is the masculine that is concerned with being useful. Everybody has masculine and feminine energy but the overly simplistic test for determining your core energy (and current level of self-esteem) is to ask yourself whether you would be more hurt if your lover rejected you by saying "You are ugly and you stink." or "You are of no use to me or anybody else on this planet." So, that is why men in a society like that of Japan are more likely to kill themselves in this manner. It's a tricky thing because feeling like you are being used or like you are somebody's tool is the flip side of not feeling useful at core. With higher functioning you have a different coin in your pocket to flip.

One book I would highly recommend to anybody as practical remedy to finding yourself in this situation is "Personal Village: How to Have People In Your Life by Choice, Not Chance" by Marvin Thomas. The author was an engineer who became interested in the problem of the not-exactly-warm social environment that you might find yourself in if surrounded by male engineers (I spent my first two years of college at an engineering school in the upper peninsula of Michigan so I know of what he speaks) so he became a psychotherapist. Therefore, the book is written for an audience that would appreciate more of an action oriented, practical, how-to manual approach to creating relationships that are needed.One of the hard limits for living entirely in a virtual world is that physical proximity and sharing food on a regular basis and/or in a ritualistic/strongly-patterned manner is one of the hallmarks of the social group known as family which most people need. For instance, this forum could provide most of the necessary components of the social group known as "salon" (chapter 7) but nobody could consider it to be their "intentional family." (chapter 11)One of the more encouraging aspects of this book is that it reinforces the concept that it is never too late to learn social skills and they are just like other skills you can learn but maybe just didn't yet. For instance, I am an excellent hostess but I am almost entirely lacking in the skill-set the author refers to as "social roaming" which involves such things as striking up conversations with strangers in public settings.

Anyways, I think this article must strike different people in different ways. I would assume that it would make anybody feel deeply saddened and disturbed, but whether it would otherwise inspire more dread or guilt would depend on how deeply you self-identify as a "feeder." I have no fear that this will ever become my fate but I always have a list of other people for whom I feel like I either have to provide this function or see to it that somebody else is providing it (even though I am self-aware that this is somewhat reflexively dysfunctional of me.) And I would note from my perspective that this is definitely not a problem that any size pile of money saved up will be able to fix. IOW, people needing to be fed is a different problem from people needing food. If you want to move further along the spectrum from dependence to independence in this realm, you need to be able to recognize the difference between a house and a home and examine the root of the word "hearth" and learn how to provide as much as possible of your own functioning towards that end because it is likely that your mother is going to die before you do and maybe you don't even have a kind sister.

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