To Alternative School or Not?

[AussieGirl]

Hi ERE community.

I new here and although I've been reading the forum for a while, this is my first post. So feel free to guide me if I don't use the appropriate lingo. Numbers are Australian Dollars.

I've got two beautiful kids and my eldest is nearing school age. I have two main options:

1. Send her to the local primary school, which will be basically free, a few uniform and fees I'm sure but say under $500 per year. We'll be able to walk to the school within 15 - 20 mins.

2. Send her to an "alternative" primary school, which follows the philosophy of "learning through play" and focusing on bringing out intrinsic motivation and not focusing on rote learning, no uniforms etc. However this option will cost around $8,000 per year plus is 30 mins plus by car OR 50 mins by train and bus.

Its a tricky one and I would appreciate constructive and analytical thinking to help me decide.

With Thanks,
AussieGirl

[saving-10-years]

Hello AussieGirl. Welcome. The answer is going to depend on what your child is like and what you think will benefit them. This is information you have not provided. I assume that there is either something that disturbs you about the local free alternative or which is particularly appropriate and fabulous about the more costly school. Or maybe something significant about your child. But you may wish to consider the following (this factored into my decisions about schooling our child, only child).

Financial stuff (can you afford fees into the future?) plays into this decision. Will you wish to choose the same school for both children and will there be other children (multiply)? Work out how much money this will amount to and include not only the fees but also the extras that come along with schools where the parents can afford to pay. What opportunities could you arrange if you used that money directly to enhance your daughters' lives, now or in the future? Your children spend a lot of time outside school and you can control and contribute to this. Ideally you won't be working so hard to pay their fees that they are in organised after school clubs and vacation activities all the time.

There may not be as diverse a population of children (or parents) at this school as at the local school so be prepared for this. Uniforms create a common level of what is worn whatever the background of the family, will your daughters be expected to wear fashionable brands to fit in at the alternative school, or to feel comfortable with peers there. Everyone at that school will come from a financially comfortable background and have relatively high income, so sports and outings may be more expensive, houses more lavish. Will your daughters and your family fit in? If you are making financial sacrifices elsewhere to pay for this education, or trying to live a frugal lifestyle through choice, this may cause some friction.

Our son attended the local state-funded primary. He is an introvert so had a very few close friends rather than a large social group, but those friends live in or near the village that he lives in. Specialist schools draw their classes from a much broader geographical area even if they are local (and yours is not). The local school means that they will make their friendships locally and that you and they will spend time making relationships with neighbours.

It will be very difficult (I assume) to change from the alternative school to any other until the school years are done because your daughter(s) won't be accustomed to the more rigid environment and curriculum of the state state school. You may wish to factor this in and be fairly sure that this is the right school for the long term. Do you know children and young adults which have graduated from this school and can you speak to these and their parents in some depth? Its often after people have left the system that they realise what they gained (or what was missing). Do you know anyone who started out at that school and then switched? Schools put on a very good show for visitors, but there are many things that they cannot control themselves, even with the best of intentions. If you have time then becoming actively involved as a parent-helper or governor at your local school will give you real insight into what happens (and why) and help you help your child to navigate any problem areas. You may also be able to change some of the things that are turning you away from this option currently.

My son is dyslexic and the local private (fee paying school) has a good reputation for helping such children with two of my friends sending their sons there for that reason. His primary school heavily recommended this school, but instead he passed the 11+ (working hard on this because his best friend was going that route) and went to the local grammar school. This was a better fit for him but had he attended private primary school I suspect he may not have attempted this. Private primary schools tend to feed into private secondary education and his friends would be going that route.

His school choice was not a financially-motivated decision but had he not gone the other route I doubt we would now be retired. The other bonus is that his university fees are paid by us (he funds his living expenses through student loans and on current showing is living a very frugal life so will graduate with almost no debt). The two boys who attended fee-paying education both have large university loans.

I found, and you may find, that what happened with me at school motivated what choices I made. I did not go to private school but growing up knew two familes who made great sacrifices to send their working class children into private education. There seemed a bigger gap between these parents and their children than others in later life. Its not (obviously) in the same league as sending your child to boarding school. But there perhaps is a sense of sending your child 'away' to school if they are not in the immediate community.

It is definitely scary making choices which impact on your children and you will have many of these to come. Being happy is the most important, but learning to be somewhat resilient is also (I feel) to be valued. Good luck with making these decisions.

[AussieGirl]

Thanks saving-10-years for the very logical and well stated case. My daughter seems fairly bright and outgoing so I don't know that she will need any particular type of environment to flourish in. What originally motivated me was doing extensive research about motivation and creatively and how traditional school can build worker ready for traditional jobs - follow instructions from the boss. Which got me started investigating this other type of school.

As you mention however with two kids the multiplying factor of such school fees will end up being somewhere in the region of $112,000!!! by the time they finish Primary School. Just writing that seems crazy!

I also hadn't considered the aspect of the school community being drawn from very affluent families and that potentially causing a disparity. Because of the type of school I didn't immediately imagine that there would be a problem with brand clothing etc, but it may just come naturally because of the wealth of the families that would send their kids there. Thanks for the benefit of your experience in this area!

My husband and I also discussed the idea of travelling distances to go to things like kids parties and the more I think about this the more I don't think there will be significant value in this.

On further contemplation I think what I need to do as you note is to spend time guiding my children in the areas that I think are important to supplement their more traditional schooling. Such as things like budgeting, the value of money, investing, thinking outside the box etc. I haven't come across yet any "ERE school lessons" ?

Your thoughts were invaluable, thanks so much - I admit I was seeing the benefits of both options and was struggling to see a clear winner, but you have helped by adding more broad considerations. Many thanks!

[saving-10-years]

Great. There are some really creative things that you can do with that money and just think, your daughters will have cut at least 30 mins (with bus/train option nearly 1.5hrs per day!) commuting time off their school day. You will have cut driving time by 2 hours a day (there and back twice) AND they get to do some physical exercise (as do you). You gain another day each week to play and do other neat stuff. (These calculations don't include going to and from the school in the evening and weekends for any extra events).

That is an pretty ERE solution.