Burning Out Studying CS

[James_0011]

@theredhare

I finished a degree in math and pretty much hate the subject, I knew like halfway through I disliked it and made the mistake of dropping out. Turns out math is a lot more fun then working manual labor (despite what people on this forum might say it is extremely difficult to find anything else without a degree). I second your suggestion to just push through and finish as fast as possible.

[TheWanderingScholar]

@theredhare

I finished a degree in math and pretty much hate the subject, I knew like halfway through I disliked it and made the mistake of dropping out. Turns out math is a lot more fun then working manual labor (despite what people on this forum might say it is extremely difficult to find anything else without a degree). I second your suggestion to just push through and finish as fast as possible.

Agreed. If you want to reinvogirate your passion for studies or just push through; work in Walmart or manual labor during the summer for close to minimum wage. This will make you power through your degree.

[7Wannabe5]

FBeyer said: I'm dying very much on the inside if I have to do the same thing for prolonged periods of time, and it's not just boredom, but a kind of depression that seeps into my entire everyday life (just look at the current state of my journal, I'm truly fighting not to go insane at the moment) if I have to do something I find unrewarding or boring, even if it was something I found rewarding 3 months ago.

XNTP. This. If you have this sort of temperament or brain chemistry, it is hugely important to get over the guilt or shame that is associated with "quitting" in our culture, because this will actually make it less likely that you will "quit" in a manner that may damage your self-respect. What you will likely discover if you spend enough decades on this planet as a rogue enthusiast is that it is better to honor the cyclic nature of your energy with a narrative that makes use of phrases like "putting CS on the back burner." IOW, there's nothing inherently wrong with you, and there's nothing inherently wrong with CS, and there's nothing inherently wrong with the match between you and CS, but you know you well enough to sense that it is time to put CS on the simmer, and raise the heat under another pot.

The blessing that comes along with this curse is that all you will ever have to do to make yourself happy and renew your interest in life is make a fresh start. You will learn that you can't schedule your time in a manner that leaves no room for development of new interests, just like how it is counter-productive for all people to schedule their time in a manner that leaves no time for physical exercise. You will also learn that your forte is integration rather than accumulation.

I would estimate that CS would rank at approximately 63 on my list of lifetime pools of interest into which I have dipped. In 1981 or 82, I bought myself a Commodore Vic 20 with money I earned scooping ice cream cones, taught myself BASIC and wrote a program entitled "Gypsy Fortune Teller" for the amusement of my 7 year old sister. Lost interest. Took a course in Fortran in 85 and another in Pascal in 89. Lost interest except at the level of becoming competent enough to create an HR model on Excel, that sort of thing. But, just last summer, I taught myself how to create a website for a new business I was hoping to create, and I completed a free short course on JavaScript.

The efficient model for achieving mastery is the same as the efficient model for marching to the sea. This model will not work well for you. Attempting to achieve a "balanced life" or anything that smacks of contentment and moderation in all things will not work for you either. What you have to do is something like think of all of your varied interests or purposes or projects or goals as a collection of S-Curves, and use the bright burst of energy you always get when you hit the sweet spot on your newest one to push you over some other hump where you stalled.

IOW, to wrap this rambling post up into a straight-forward piece of advice. Don't fret about your future career identity. Don't switch majors. Don't tell yourself to just toughen up and plow on through. Do take on something new to distract your focus from CS and lighten your mood from dull misery. Everything in the world is inter-related, so maybe your new interest in spelunking or gourmet vinegar creation combined with your skills in CS will allow you to someday make some money with an app for that or ???? Think in terms of acquiring useful tools or fun toys rather than identity through your pursuits.

I must admit, I still struggle with this myself, but I've been running off on tangents, like a terrier with a nose full of something new, while heading towards the sea for so long now, some of my distractions have taken on the form of accomplishment. So, NUMBER 1 MESSAGE with a bullet, I would like to have been able to convey to younger version of me would have been to honor my alternative energy form and then determine how to best put it to use.

[Papers of Indenture]

Just stopping by to say hello to my people.

I am an XTNP. Same issues. I've been killing myself in a very mediocre accounting job for 5 years now. I'm starting to realize I need to allow myself to explore and diversify or I will die from despair (I struggle with depression and when I am struggling I do not care for my health like I should). I'd rather try some different things even if it flat lines my earning potential. Part of the bargain for me is radically altering my ERE dream though. I'm 30 and had a plan to be ERE at 40 but will probably push that to 47 now because it's hard to envision my wife and I ever being high enough earners to achieve the original goal and have a child. I think i'm ok with a partial ERE down the road where I still work a part time job 24-30 hours a week.

Felipe,
I switched majors twice. I ultimately chose the path of least resistance in college and majored in Rhetoric/Communication Studies. As a result I didn't have the foundational skill set and credentials for high paying STEM or finance jobs. I would get the CS degree. You'll have a better foundation for pivoting from interest to interest than without it. It could end up being a situation where you trade a 2-3 year slog now for an 8-10 year slog in the future.

[slowtraveler]

Thanks 7wannabe5. It's reassuring to know that you share my personality. I hadn't thought about how some interests come and go, but it's smart to put it on the back burner and not risk my sobriety (over 3 months now) to try to force my way through.

Update:

I got a B+ in Data Structures using Brute's method.

This coming year I'm doing VITA and volunteering in the redwoods do I'll learn more about what I enjoy there. Also taking a free online class with Berkeley through Edx on happiness.

I appreciate all the advice to stay through and given a different situation, I would. I've learned a lot from the book "Horse Sense" and my family has a successful business, which is the most likely path to reach a position of wealth. I run the 401k there and work with the accounting team to minimize taxes among other things. I earn enough to ERE before my family retires and don't need to suffer through a degree.

My family was a large part of why I pushed to 24 trying to find a field interesting enough to finish a Bachelor's in and they keep trying to drag me into operations when I do better working on the finance side. The more I think about, the more it was my family driving me to finish the degree. I've had the talk about letting school go and they seem relaxed about it now.

If I needed the income and for some reason lost the family business piece - I have enough education and connections to apply to become a Ranger. I have connections and skills to work as an accountant.

Most of the projects that interest me are entrepreneurial in nature and this doesn't require a degree.

I'm taking some time from school. Not sure if I'll go back but business seems like it'd be a better fit, and I'm ironically closer to graduating for business than CS.