what's your end of life strategy?

[Riggerjack]

I was reading the filial responsibility thread, and didn't want to hijack it.

What is your strategy for the time between being able bodied, and death?

My wife is 7.5 years younger than I, so I have to plan for that.

My plan involves a money cushion, MIL built into the retirement home that will serve as nurses quarters as necessary. And no stairs, easy wheelchair access, and grab bars all built into the retirement home.

I've volunteered in nursing homes. I don't ever want to be caged in one. Private nurse, and when that fails, hospice for a short stay, then death, leaving enough so my wife can do the same, but with more cats.

What's your plan?

[Devil's Advocate]

Great question. Should be an interesting thread.

For myself, I've made zero plans. There's some money cushion, but not half as cushiony as I could have easily made it. Nope, made no plans at all -- not even a very young wife!

I realize that's stupid and very un-ERE. Thiirty or forty or more years seems a long time, but it's never too early to plan for that kind of extreme situation.

[Dragline]

Yes, I think its too far away and uncertain to plan for since you can't know your own physical circumstances and who else will "be around" at the time. I hope I have pretty much no time between relative able-bodied-ness and death, but who knows? I think I have a pretty good chance if I make an effort to stay healthy now and keep that up. Dad is 85 and still doing the yardwork and walking a lot. All of his contemporaries who were overweight or smoked are dead, though.

On the other hand, I just had a child-hood friend who was very healthy drop dead within a year due to a brain tumor. So you never know.

Financially, assuming I make it to my late 70s, I was hoping to convert a decent chunk of my savings to a Single Premium Immediate Annuity so that nobody (including me) had to think about it anymore, and spend or give away most of the rest. I'm going to tell the kids I'm squandering their inheritance. Maybe I'll buy a motorcycle and grow my hair out like Willie Nelson.

DW has always said to the kids, "When I get old and go crazy, just put me out on an ice flow and say good-bye." That's Plan B.

[GandK]

We are currently ages 46 (G) and 40 (K).

So far our household morbidity planning has consisted of getting term life insurance on G of an amount that would be sufficient to support the children and me for life if he died before he was able to RE. And if I died first, he'd get a large lump sum from a pension I'm scheduled to receive from a former employer at 65 unless I was old enough to have begun to draw the pension, in which case the sum would be reduced by the amount already drawn. If he hadn't already, he'd be able to RE on that amount plus our current savings.

I'm curious as to others' answers since we obviously need to do more planning than just this.

[Devil's Advocate]

You know what really REALLY scares the s*** out of me? The possibility that one might lose one's bloody MIND, literally, like old people sometimes do. That possibility just terrifies me!

Perhaps euthanasia may have become respectable and more widely applicable in the next 40 or so years, who knows?

Sorry, just thinking aloud. That's another topic, and a potentially nuanced one, and let's not derail this thread.

[jennypenny]

If I live long enough to worry about it, I'll start skydiving every six months. If I get too feeble to pull the ripcord, or too senile to remember to pull it ... problem solved.

I figure that's as good a benchmark as any.

[George the original one]

There are several phases. First will be to recognize when our retirement property is too much effort (stairs, cutting firewood, mowing acres, gardening, etc.) before it's too late. That will prompt a home sale and we'll move to quarters more amenable to the feeble old folks that aren't ready for a care facility. Stock holdings will be reduced and moved into certificates of deposit. Hopefully my pension will still be paid by the state. Eventually we'll need a care facility and we're hoping nieces & nephews will be upstanding citizens that will check on our status.

We expect the first phase to possibly begin at age 75, but more likely (hopefully) around age 80.

[Ego]

I refuse to plan for it, partially because the possible permutation are endless and partially out of a determination to increase the recklessness as I get older. Also, I think good planners can be tempted to live out the plan, to get to the end asap. I saw that happen.

[Devil's Advocate]

If I live long enough to worry about it, I'll start skydiving every six months. If I get too feeble to pull the ripcord, or too senile to remember to pull it ... problem solved.

I figure that's as good a benchmark as any.

Yes! I like!

[Riggerjack]

Wow, with this group, I expected better plans. Or better, more active planning. I mean, doing it right means living that long, and making the best of it.
Nursing homes are crazy expensive, but part time nursing help isn't nearly as bad. Part time household help and part time nursing help is still cheaper than "assisted living", let alone full time nursing homes.

Breaking down physically isn't all that scary, but Alzheimer's is some scary stuff. That's the problem that calls for a skydiving solution.

[Dragline]

Perhaps the answer to this thread is in the title of another -- "Retire to Alaska or Wyoming."

[jacob]

It's hard (impossible) to plan details for a society that's 50 years in the future. My strategy is simply to do what everyone else around me is doing(*) [wrt that]. The only difference between them and me is that I'll have somewhat more money than them.

Of course we could have a situation where some people are more equal than others, like now wrt to those who have corporate health care and those who don't. However, I doubt that particular outcome. There might be a similar differentiation, but I don't know what it would be.---Perhaps filial duty or filial volunteers.

(*) Hit by a bus 2019? Lost at sea 2024? Killed in food riot home invasion 2027? Drug resistant TB epidemic in 2035? Heat stroke during power outage 2043? Cancer 2048? Stroke 2067? Kidney failure 2072?

[USAF Sgt]

I refuse to plan for it, partially because the possible permutation are endless

That's where I'm at. I'm putting most of my eggs in the "diet and exercise" basket. I know that's not enough to cover all contingencies, but its better starting point than anywhere else.

[GandK]

I'm putting most of my eggs in the "diet and exercise" basket. I know that's not enough to cover all contingencies, but its better starting point than anywhere else.

I suppose that's true.

[Ego]

That's where I'm at. I'm putting most of my eggs in the "diet and exercise" basket. I know that's not enough to cover all contingencies, but its better starting point than anywhere else.

Exactly.

Attention determines direction. The direction I look is the direction I move. Spending my day thinking about the handrails in my shower or the pullup bar at the park determines which one I will us and need.

[almostthere]

I want to be in situation where I can have some dignity. I watched my parents care for there parents in their homes and in our home at times. My FI situation will allow me to do the same for my parents. Hopefully, my kids will feel the same after seeing my actions. That said, if they choose some other path, I have developed enough cross cultural skills to live in another country and have full time care givers push me around parks while I enjoy watching the children play. Some cultures just care for their elders better than others.

[Spartan_Warrior]

It's (hopefully) too far out for me to contemplate at my age. Unfortunately, stuff like Alzheimer's does run in the family, but so do heart attacks and cancer, so who knows how that will go. I am most terrified of losing my mind (completely :b). It's one thing when the body falls apart, but when the body's healthy and the mind goes first, that's way rougher IMO. It's easy to say now that I'd rather take my own life in such a situation, but there are way too many other factors involved.

I'm in the camp that would try to set up his own home to accommodate my needs and/or hire help. I "know too much" as far as nursing homes and hope to stay out of there if possible, but the chips will fall where they may. It's not like I have any children or other proteges that I would want to take care of me, even if I thought it was any kind of guarantee that they would.

My main priority is simply to live the best life I can before I get to that point, and then navigate those years with 1) as much dignity, autonomy, and painlessness as possible and 2) placing as little burden (emotionally, physically, financially) on my loved ones as possible--in that order. Extending life will hopefully not be a consideration, but again, one can never know all the factors that will be involved--fear of death potentially being one of them.

[theanimal]

I find it hard to think that far ahead. Seeing as I hope to live a full life (not necessarily a long one), I may not have to face that decision. But otherwise I take preventative measures now, like excercising and eating well, hoping to prevent that type of scenario.

[susswein]

Nembutal.

[MSfreeinHou]

This is a difficult conversation to be sure. Having watched my mother's perfectly healthy body go on and on while her mind has been gone for years has put me in a very different state of mind about "end of life strategy". If she was able to think clearly enough to see what her life has become, she would have chosen to end it with dignity rather than diapers. My strategy is that I have picked an end date, unless something happens that ends it for me sooner. Having chosen that date has also allowed me to be much clearer about how long the money has to last me. Being child-free, I don't need to worry about anyone's inheritance. Now I just have to figure out what is the best way to end it. Any ideas?