Just wondering what everyone's varied childhoods were like, how their families were with school/jobs/money when you were growing up? Who was raised in a trailer? Who spent summers at the family lake house? How did your rearing effect your views on work and money? Were you instilled with frugality from a young age or surrounded by consumerism?
I'm 3rd generation American from Irish immigrants. My family was poor when I was a young child. Both parents have high school educations. We lived in a trailer when I was born. But my father started a business that grew and grew and by the time I was a teenager we were better off than most the other folks in town.
My dad would have me help him out at his company from the time I was able to push a broom. I'd tag along with him to work when I was 7 or 8 and I'd explore and do small tasks in exchange for candy and video games. But things progressed and I was pretty much working 20-30 hours/week, in addition to school, from the age of 12 up until about 18. I spent most of the money on cars and gizmos. My father thought he was instilling a good work ethic in me, but instead he wound up beating it out of me. My appreciation of freedom over money was firmly implanted. I think this had everything to do with my pursuit of financial independence.
Having stuff through my teenage years, rather than wishing I'd had it, really influenced my thoughts about my future goals. Otherwise, I might have gone all through young adult hood in the pursuit of a higher income in order to attain stuff, not realizing how little that stuff actually satisfies me.
Also, my family is definitely not frugal. Which makes my approach to money not only wise, but it doubled as an act of rebellion. Much more productive than a tattoo.
Environment Growing Up
I like: "good grades==good college==good job==good life". 
I was also beat over the head with this growing up. Both my parents are college graduates, my father is retired from a string of jobs working for "people who don't appreciate common sense" though he did take a number of years off to raise myself and 3 younger sisters.
My mother is still working an an RN and will retire as soon as dad gets the new house done (5+ years in the making so far but hes finally doing the interior, all on his own of course, just help from family every now and then).
We were raised in the 1st house dad built (complete with dirt floor still in one room). I learned to grow my own veggies, glean fields & woods, butcher large & small animals, basic carpentry & all sorts of stuff people looked at us weird for talking about in HS. 4-H was a big part of our lives and I'm still active as an adult leader.
I bought my 1st truck at 13 to use to take manure to the farms up and down the roads. It wasn't running when we pulled it out of the junk yard so dad showed me how to fix it so I could make a few $$$. I ended up with a good little bank act when I left my parents house to move in with a boyfriend turned husband turned Ex who spent it all and sunk us into a huge hole. Lesson learned, you HAVE to have spending habits that are compatible with those of your with your spouse.
I was also beat over the head with this growing up. Both my parents are college graduates, my father is retired from a string of jobs working for "people who don't appreciate common sense" though he did take a number of years off to raise myself and 3 younger sisters.
My mother is still working an an RN and will retire as soon as dad gets the new house done (5+ years in the making so far but hes finally doing the interior, all on his own of course, just help from family every now and then).
We were raised in the 1st house dad built (complete with dirt floor still in one room). I learned to grow my own veggies, glean fields & woods, butcher large & small animals, basic carpentry & all sorts of stuff people looked at us weird for talking about in HS. 4-H was a big part of our lives and I'm still active as an adult leader.
I bought my 1st truck at 13 to use to take manure to the farms up and down the roads. It wasn't running when we pulled it out of the junk yard so dad showed me how to fix it so I could make a few $$$. I ended up with a good little bank act when I left my parents house to move in with a boyfriend turned husband turned Ex who spent it all and sunk us into a huge hole. Lesson learned, you HAVE to have spending habits that are compatible with those of your with your spouse.
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jacob
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When I was a kid, my mom had a job cleaning a school from 4a to 7a so she could be home with my sister and I---their two attempts at sending me to a daycare center to "socialize me" failed miserably. I was crying all the time. My mom later got a job as a daycare assistant. My dad was a company man (he's now semi-retired) working his way up from assistant manager in a supermarket (when I was born) to national VP (product development) until he got laid off when the company was overtaken and management restructured. He now works part time laying out food in a cafeteria which he enjoys tremendously (he's the family's only extrovert). Did I mention they like work? My parents are workaholics. Their life revolves around working. I can't put my finger on a hobby of theirs beyond the fact that my mom occasionally does some knitting and sewing and my dad putters around in the garden. Most of their spare time goes towards home maintenance like painting roofs and walls. Otherwise it's not unusual for them to get up at 3am and work until 7pm. This money goes towards renovating and upgrading a 5+ bedroom house+outbuildings.
I have an IQ of around 135-140. I'm the first one in my family to go beyond high school (my dad has a commerce-oriented HS degree. My mom exited at 10th grad which is the last year before HS in Denmark). I can count the number of times I've seen them reading a book on one hand, whereas one wall in my room was dedicated to books. However, they have always been very supportive of my intellectual pursuits as best as they could. They got me a $2500 computer when I was 12 (that was an 8MHz Amstrad PC1512 with a 512k of memory --- this was a killer machine at the time). I paid $300 of my savings (more than a year's worth of it) at the time. After that point I was always spending time on the computer. I was programming BASIC when I was 10.
The last time when my parents could help me with a technical question was in the 7th grade. Otherwise I was on my own. I got my intellectual stimulation from what I could read. I read a lot. On a related note, I was always bored in school. My grades were good but not spectacular. I didn't really exert myself but was just doing the minimum possible. My ambition was to become either a TV repairman or a fighter pilot. This low-level effort continued until the first year of HS when I met another HS student (one year older than me) online. (I had bought a 2400 baud modem when I was 14.) He called himself miniGauss and was talking about complex numbers and other (to me) exotic math. This was a huge inspiration to me. I decided that I could go down to the library and get my hands on some college textbooks. I cared more for physics than math. When I was 17 I could derive the Schroedinger equation and the spectra for the hydrogen atom. At 18 I did a geometric proof of the Lorentz transformation. It was pretty much inevitable that I would go on to study physics at the university.
When I was 9 or 11 or something and my dad was the manager of a supermarket, the whole family used to clean the store every other Saturday early-early morning, washing the floors, arranging the cans on the shelves, etc. Both work fast and thoroughly and I eventually learned to keep up. I do remember semi-running next to my dad as we were going to an off-site room to pick up soda and magazines to restock. When I was 12, I got hired officially. This meant a huge pay increase (relatively speaking) as previously the work was part of my allowance---it was just expected. When I was 15, I got a job for 4 days a month. This was another big increase. I think I made $300/month+full time work during vacations. All this money went to fund computers and books. In this sense I have always (or since I was 5 anyway) been used to paying for things with my own money.
We never talked finance at home. Until I was 24 my impression of business and finance was that it was for those who couldn't make it as scientists or engineers. Most of the money went to support the failing semi-large farm we lived on. At one point it got so bad that we were close to bankruptcy. I remember canceling the newspaper subscription and my parents asking if they could "lend" the money they had saved for me to get me started when I moved out. Once the land was sold off, the situation improved. However, we never talked savings or investments. My impression about money was that it was something you earned on a job and the purpose was to spend it. Consequently my bank account had a sawtooth-like pattern to it. I'd save for the next big thing, buy it, and start over.
For as long as I can remember I have spent rather diligently. When we went to the kiosk to get $2 worth of candy on Saturdays I usually asked if I could get the money to buy a magazine instead. I have always been frugal. For example, I would spend $1500 (half a year's worth of savings) on a 120MB harddisk, but I'd rather walk 5km than spend $2 on a bus ticket. In general, I've been supremely resistant towards paying for conveniences, services, or experiences, none of which provided any lasting usefulness.
In the context of the thread, it might be interesting to speculate on how much of this is genetic and how much is cultural. My sister spent most of her 20s traveling and volunteering. She has started about 5 (I lost track) different educations, one of which resulted in an English degree. She's currently in medical school. Her attitude towards money is that she can just work for a month or two as a temp in a nursing home or doing cleaning and then have enough to last her for a while. When she runs out, she repeats that. Carpe Diem!
Overall, my parents always supported us as best as they could without making any demands on how we should think or what we should do with our lives other than what we want. I think they are better parents than I could be. I do recognize some inherited traits. The ability to work hard/fast and the no-BS attitude.
(It may be interesting to note that my primary teenage rebellion consisted of demonstrably switching of lights in empty rooms to save electricity.)
I have an IQ of around 135-140. I'm the first one in my family to go beyond high school (my dad has a commerce-oriented HS degree. My mom exited at 10th grad which is the last year before HS in Denmark). I can count the number of times I've seen them reading a book on one hand, whereas one wall in my room was dedicated to books. However, they have always been very supportive of my intellectual pursuits as best as they could. They got me a $2500 computer when I was 12 (that was an 8MHz Amstrad PC1512 with a 512k of memory --- this was a killer machine at the time). I paid $300 of my savings (more than a year's worth of it) at the time. After that point I was always spending time on the computer. I was programming BASIC when I was 10.
The last time when my parents could help me with a technical question was in the 7th grade. Otherwise I was on my own. I got my intellectual stimulation from what I could read. I read a lot. On a related note, I was always bored in school. My grades were good but not spectacular. I didn't really exert myself but was just doing the minimum possible. My ambition was to become either a TV repairman or a fighter pilot. This low-level effort continued until the first year of HS when I met another HS student (one year older than me) online. (I had bought a 2400 baud modem when I was 14.) He called himself miniGauss and was talking about complex numbers and other (to me) exotic math. This was a huge inspiration to me. I decided that I could go down to the library and get my hands on some college textbooks. I cared more for physics than math. When I was 17 I could derive the Schroedinger equation and the spectra for the hydrogen atom. At 18 I did a geometric proof of the Lorentz transformation. It was pretty much inevitable that I would go on to study physics at the university.
When I was 9 or 11 or something and my dad was the manager of a supermarket, the whole family used to clean the store every other Saturday early-early morning, washing the floors, arranging the cans on the shelves, etc. Both work fast and thoroughly and I eventually learned to keep up. I do remember semi-running next to my dad as we were going to an off-site room to pick up soda and magazines to restock. When I was 12, I got hired officially. This meant a huge pay increase (relatively speaking) as previously the work was part of my allowance---it was just expected. When I was 15, I got a job for 4 days a month. This was another big increase. I think I made $300/month+full time work during vacations. All this money went to fund computers and books. In this sense I have always (or since I was 5 anyway) been used to paying for things with my own money.
We never talked finance at home. Until I was 24 my impression of business and finance was that it was for those who couldn't make it as scientists or engineers. Most of the money went to support the failing semi-large farm we lived on. At one point it got so bad that we were close to bankruptcy. I remember canceling the newspaper subscription and my parents asking if they could "lend" the money they had saved for me to get me started when I moved out. Once the land was sold off, the situation improved. However, we never talked savings or investments. My impression about money was that it was something you earned on a job and the purpose was to spend it. Consequently my bank account had a sawtooth-like pattern to it. I'd save for the next big thing, buy it, and start over.
For as long as I can remember I have spent rather diligently. When we went to the kiosk to get $2 worth of candy on Saturdays I usually asked if I could get the money to buy a magazine instead. I have always been frugal. For example, I would spend $1500 (half a year's worth of savings) on a 120MB harddisk, but I'd rather walk 5km than spend $2 on a bus ticket. In general, I've been supremely resistant towards paying for conveniences, services, or experiences, none of which provided any lasting usefulness.
In the context of the thread, it might be interesting to speculate on how much of this is genetic and how much is cultural. My sister spent most of her 20s traveling and volunteering. She has started about 5 (I lost track) different educations, one of which resulted in an English degree. She's currently in medical school. Her attitude towards money is that she can just work for a month or two as a temp in a nursing home or doing cleaning and then have enough to last her for a while. When she runs out, she repeats that. Carpe Diem!
Overall, my parents always supported us as best as they could without making any demands on how we should think or what we should do with our lives other than what we want. I think they are better parents than I could be. I do recognize some inherited traits. The ability to work hard/fast and the no-BS attitude.
(It may be interesting to note that my primary teenage rebellion consisted of demonstrably switching of lights in empty rooms to save electricity.)
Good question! I'm interested to see the responses, and I'll share my own.
I grew up in a small upper-middle class suburb in Massachusetts with loving parents. Summers were spent at a tiny old house on the coast of Maine that has been passed down for generations, and doesn't have a TV or a phone line.
My mom stayed at home, and my dad worked long hours in the corporate world. I always wished he would work less, but the fact is he enjoyed work and probably would have been a little lost without it, he never did have many hobbies or friends outside of his job and my spending time with my mom. He was a workaholic actually, and I've always been afraid of ending up one as well.
My parents had polar opposite views on money, with my dad extremely frugal, and my mom spending everything she could get her hands on. I've heard that marriages with such money tensions aren't supposed to work, but it certainly worked for my parents even with joint finances; they were always best friends and totally in love. My brother and I ended up with spending habits like my dad, and my sister ended up with spending habits like my mom.
My parents were obsessed with education, with my dad having an undergrad degree from MIT and an MBA from Harvard, and my mom having a college degree as well. My brother ended up with degrees from Tufts, MIT, and Harvard; and I ended up with three MIT degrees (philosophy, 2x computer science). Aside from forcing education on us, our parents encouraged us to make independent decisions in all other aspects of our lives, seemingly only caring that we were happy.
I was never materialistic. I remember even at an early age telling my dad that if I just had $1/day to buy a box of pasta that I would be fine for the rest of my life. He brought up things like health insurance, entertainment costs, rent, etc., but I was insistent that the boxes of pasta was all that I needed. (Now I know a little better... rice is cheaper than pasta!)
I always enjoyed messing around on a computer, building things, and by the time I was 12 or 13 I knew HTML and Photoshop and I could make websites. So my first summer jobs were doing that, $12/hr computer jobs instead of minimum wage jobs at retail stores, etc. I thought I was getting the sweetest deal ever, although looking back it was way under market rate for what I was doing. I spent my first $1000 on a computer, and I probably still have the rest.
One thing my dad used to say that I didn't really understand was that he was glad we were reasonably well off, because us kids could learn firsthand that we didn't *need* to be reasonably well off, that having stuff wasn't the key to being happy.
In other words, I think my parents basically let me decide whether I wanted to be lower class, middle class or upper class, while giving me a preview of upper-middle class. I'm still not sure which one I'm going to pick. I enjoy work but don't get much out of money or material possessions.
jacob's observation that you can stockpile money and exchange it for massive amounts of freedom (instead of possessions/status) was something of a revelation for me, because I do enjoy freedom. So I'm pursuing ERE for now, but really I have no idea where I'll be in five years, although I'm confident that I'll be well prepared for whatever it is.
I grew up in a small upper-middle class suburb in Massachusetts with loving parents. Summers were spent at a tiny old house on the coast of Maine that has been passed down for generations, and doesn't have a TV or a phone line.
My mom stayed at home, and my dad worked long hours in the corporate world. I always wished he would work less, but the fact is he enjoyed work and probably would have been a little lost without it, he never did have many hobbies or friends outside of his job and my spending time with my mom. He was a workaholic actually, and I've always been afraid of ending up one as well.
My parents had polar opposite views on money, with my dad extremely frugal, and my mom spending everything she could get her hands on. I've heard that marriages with such money tensions aren't supposed to work, but it certainly worked for my parents even with joint finances; they were always best friends and totally in love. My brother and I ended up with spending habits like my dad, and my sister ended up with spending habits like my mom.
My parents were obsessed with education, with my dad having an undergrad degree from MIT and an MBA from Harvard, and my mom having a college degree as well. My brother ended up with degrees from Tufts, MIT, and Harvard; and I ended up with three MIT degrees (philosophy, 2x computer science). Aside from forcing education on us, our parents encouraged us to make independent decisions in all other aspects of our lives, seemingly only caring that we were happy.
I was never materialistic. I remember even at an early age telling my dad that if I just had $1/day to buy a box of pasta that I would be fine for the rest of my life. He brought up things like health insurance, entertainment costs, rent, etc., but I was insistent that the boxes of pasta was all that I needed. (Now I know a little better... rice is cheaper than pasta!)
I always enjoyed messing around on a computer, building things, and by the time I was 12 or 13 I knew HTML and Photoshop and I could make websites. So my first summer jobs were doing that, $12/hr computer jobs instead of minimum wage jobs at retail stores, etc. I thought I was getting the sweetest deal ever, although looking back it was way under market rate for what I was doing. I spent my first $1000 on a computer, and I probably still have the rest.
One thing my dad used to say that I didn't really understand was that he was glad we were reasonably well off, because us kids could learn firsthand that we didn't *need* to be reasonably well off, that having stuff wasn't the key to being happy.
In other words, I think my parents basically let me decide whether I wanted to be lower class, middle class or upper class, while giving me a preview of upper-middle class. I'm still not sure which one I'm going to pick. I enjoy work but don't get much out of money or material possessions.
jacob's observation that you can stockpile money and exchange it for massive amounts of freedom (instead of possessions/status) was something of a revelation for me, because I do enjoy freedom. So I'm pursuing ERE for now, but really I have no idea where I'll be in five years, although I'm confident that I'll be well prepared for whatever it is.
I grew up in a one-income family on an average income (dad was a middle manager in a bureaucracy). We homeschooled from about age 10 on. My parents were really good about hiding the family finances from us -- dad lost his job as a kid and I had no idea how thin money must've been until I looked back as an adult on all the frugal things we did (like garden and can, A LOT). My parents were careful to never fight about money in front of us, and always used the phrase "it's not in the budget" instead of "we can't afford it". I never felt poor or deprived while growing up.
Unfortunately, my parents fell into the cultural belief that debt was necessary for an education, and that I should use university to pursue my passion. Thus I ended up 2 years into a humanities degree and with $25k debt. (My husband got into the 3rd year liberal arts program plus another $25k debt.) We are still paying this off; hopefully it will be gone in the next 2-3 years.
My hubby and I love each other very much and are unstoppable when we set our minds to the same goal, but sorting out this money stuff has been very much a journey. His family background tells him to "just earn more" and "you deserve some creature comforts". This does help balance me -- just plain earning more money is something my parents never taught me to do. However my natural frugality combined with his natural spending tendencies create either incredibly balanced and efficient harmony, or very tough-to-resolve conflict.
I take the lead in the personal finance portion of our lives, but am conscientious to keep him abreast of what I'm reading and ask his opinion in response. Once we decided to get out of debt, I discovered I had a very strong interest in being my own financial adviser; no one else will have our monetary well-being so close to their heart.
Unfortunately, my parents fell into the cultural belief that debt was necessary for an education, and that I should use university to pursue my passion. Thus I ended up 2 years into a humanities degree and with $25k debt. (My husband got into the 3rd year liberal arts program plus another $25k debt.) We are still paying this off; hopefully it will be gone in the next 2-3 years.
My hubby and I love each other very much and are unstoppable when we set our minds to the same goal, but sorting out this money stuff has been very much a journey. His family background tells him to "just earn more" and "you deserve some creature comforts". This does help balance me -- just plain earning more money is something my parents never taught me to do. However my natural frugality combined with his natural spending tendencies create either incredibly balanced and efficient harmony, or very tough-to-resolve conflict.
I take the lead in the personal finance portion of our lives, but am conscientious to keep him abreast of what I'm reading and ask his opinion in response. Once we decided to get out of debt, I discovered I had a very strong interest in being my own financial adviser; no one else will have our monetary well-being so close to their heart.
I came to America from South Korea when I was one and we moved to Savannah, GA, and lived in a trailer park. I loved it there. Mom and dad made ends meet working two jobs each. While our household income wasn't that high, it was enough and we never felt like we were missing out in life. My parents were incredible savers and eventually had enough to "move to the big city" = Marietta, GA (a suburb of Atlanta). They opened a Southern restaurant and owned it for many years (and I washed a lot of dishes). While they certainly saved more than they earned, my dad had an eye for shiny brand new electronics. He passed that onto me--which pretty much ended (thankfully) after finishing the ERE book.
Education was important but frankly I don't ever remember my parents talking about school. We just did our best and that was it. Just go to school. Well, that journey ended with a PhD in economics. The degree has served me well (but I'm not a "true believer" in economic models and have a healthy skepticism for most economic studies--except mine of course
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In terms of finances, my parent's scope of knowledge began and ended with CDs. However, they passed onto me a complete disdain for debt, which has stuck with me.
Today, I like to believe I've held on to some beneficial core values (industry, perseverance, and living within your means) while shedding some of the "costly" values (buying only new, avoiding all risk in finances, seeking to conform).
It has been a great adventure in America so far and I have a pretty healthy love of country. I'm plotting a future for my own family now that I hope will end up making the second half of my life even better than the first.
Education was important but frankly I don't ever remember my parents talking about school. We just did our best and that was it. Just go to school. Well, that journey ended with a PhD in economics. The degree has served me well (but I'm not a "true believer" in economic models and have a healthy skepticism for most economic studies--except mine of course
. In terms of finances, my parent's scope of knowledge began and ended with CDs. However, they passed onto me a complete disdain for debt, which has stuck with me.
Today, I like to believe I've held on to some beneficial core values (industry, perseverance, and living within your means) while shedding some of the "costly" values (buying only new, avoiding all risk in finances, seeking to conform).
It has been a great adventure in America so far and I have a pretty healthy love of country. I'm plotting a future for my own family now that I hope will end up making the second half of my life even better than the first.
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George the original one
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My parents are the offspring of collegiates and began college as the great depression was ending. They dropped out of college to get married and then WWII started. Dad finished up with a sociology degree on the GI bill once the war was over and became a social worker since he realized going to law school & becoming a lawyer wasn't going to do it for him.
Thus we were a single income very middle class family where going to college was expected. Parents weren't going to pay for college, though they'd help out as best as they could, and we weren't expected to go into debt for college.
Since I was the youngest by a decade, by the time I was headed to college, my parents had divorced and dad was retiring. My scholarly oldest brother didn't quite finish his degree (no initiative and he was fed up with where it might lead him), next brother was killed in Viet Nam (volunteer), and my sister wasn't cut out for college. I finished a BS after 6 years and had no debt.
I was encouraged to follow my interests, but not at the expense of my financial security. Neither mom nor dad condoned debt, but mom was a saver seeking security and dad was a spender seeking to make up for the sacrifices of youth and marriage.
They had moved to Oregon after WWII and enjoyed the outdoors. Being middle class, we car camped and eating out meant going to the burger joint. Understanding and fiddling with gadgets was undertaken by both parents, but cooking was done by mom and dad was all thumbs with tools, so mom was the strong example when it came to tools.
Socially, neither were good at networking. Consequently I had to make my own breaks when it came to school or career. Indeed, I was encouraged to do it all on my own, which meant I fumbled a lot and never got some guidance that would have been helpful at times, such as shortening the 4 years it took finding a real job after college.
Values instilled in me were nonviolence and a love of the Oregon outdoors and to tell the truth and to treat all gadgets as a collection of nuts & bolts & electrons that can be conquered. They didn't provide me with financial targets (e.g. saving rate determines how soon you can retire) and transferred few skills in investing because CDs and T-bills were "safe money".
I'm now the age my parents were when they moved into "the country" (really it was suburbia on the edge of the country), shortly before they divorced. Portland has changed, somewhat for the worse IMHO, but Oregon still has the allure that it did back then.
Thus we were a single income very middle class family where going to college was expected. Parents weren't going to pay for college, though they'd help out as best as they could, and we weren't expected to go into debt for college.
Since I was the youngest by a decade, by the time I was headed to college, my parents had divorced and dad was retiring. My scholarly oldest brother didn't quite finish his degree (no initiative and he was fed up with where it might lead him), next brother was killed in Viet Nam (volunteer), and my sister wasn't cut out for college. I finished a BS after 6 years and had no debt.
I was encouraged to follow my interests, but not at the expense of my financial security. Neither mom nor dad condoned debt, but mom was a saver seeking security and dad was a spender seeking to make up for the sacrifices of youth and marriage.
They had moved to Oregon after WWII and enjoyed the outdoors. Being middle class, we car camped and eating out meant going to the burger joint. Understanding and fiddling with gadgets was undertaken by both parents, but cooking was done by mom and dad was all thumbs with tools, so mom was the strong example when it came to tools.
Socially, neither were good at networking. Consequently I had to make my own breaks when it came to school or career. Indeed, I was encouraged to do it all on my own, which meant I fumbled a lot and never got some guidance that would have been helpful at times, such as shortening the 4 years it took finding a real job after college.
Values instilled in me were nonviolence and a love of the Oregon outdoors and to tell the truth and to treat all gadgets as a collection of nuts & bolts & electrons that can be conquered. They didn't provide me with financial targets (e.g. saving rate determines how soon you can retire) and transferred few skills in investing because CDs and T-bills were "safe money".
I'm now the age my parents were when they moved into "the country" (really it was suburbia on the edge of the country), shortly before they divorced. Portland has changed, somewhat for the worse IMHO, but Oregon still has the allure that it did back then.
I was born January 21, 1945, at 11:05 PM. I like to say "I was born at night, but not LAST night".
My parents were typical 1950's folks, and I was an only child. My dad was in WWII and Korea, and had a wholesale hardware business. Mom worked for Sears, Roebuck and Co. My grandmother lived with us most of my younger life. We lived two blocks from a funeral home, and my grandmother was into funerals, like many older folks were during that era. Since grandmother babysat me, I was led by the hand to attend everybody and their dog's funerals. I will never forget the putrid smell of flowers. Needless to say, I attend very few funerals today.
We were neither well off financially, or poor either. We were 50-ish middle class. I was an only child. Spoiled worse than last months milk. I was, however, quite consistent in my mannerisms and politeness to my elders. I could appear to be a young gentleman when the time was right, and it personally benefited me. Dad had some rental properties, and I worked with him on them. Paint, clean, remodel, rent, and then do it all over again. In those days hard work was a given. Between Jr and Sr year in high school I worked for Sears Roebuck (thanks mom!) and later, worked 11 years for them full time. I worked long enough to know for dead certain I wanted no part of them or any other retail store.
(Mom retired there after 35 years). After high school and while in college I got my draft notice. This was Viet Nam prime time. I showed the draft notice to dad, and he said not to worry, I wasn't getting drafted, I was joining. Two days later I was sworn in the US Army. Prior to the draft notice I had married my high school sweetheart four months early to avoid the draft. Unfortunately LBJ decided that married men with no children were fair game after all. I had spent my youth trying to avoid the army. I was afraid to look in the mailbox each day. I wound up spending 32 years of wonderful exciting service in the US Army, retiring as a Command Sergeant major. My wife hated school with a passion. She retired with 28 years in the public school system as a teacher and administrator. Shows to go you, you never know, do you?
I had a great life growing up, in between, and currently do now as well!!!!!
My parents were typical 1950's folks, and I was an only child. My dad was in WWII and Korea, and had a wholesale hardware business. Mom worked for Sears, Roebuck and Co. My grandmother lived with us most of my younger life. We lived two blocks from a funeral home, and my grandmother was into funerals, like many older folks were during that era. Since grandmother babysat me, I was led by the hand to attend everybody and their dog's funerals. I will never forget the putrid smell of flowers. Needless to say, I attend very few funerals today.
We were neither well off financially, or poor either. We were 50-ish middle class. I was an only child. Spoiled worse than last months milk. I was, however, quite consistent in my mannerisms and politeness to my elders. I could appear to be a young gentleman when the time was right, and it personally benefited me. Dad had some rental properties, and I worked with him on them. Paint, clean, remodel, rent, and then do it all over again. In those days hard work was a given. Between Jr and Sr year in high school I worked for Sears Roebuck (thanks mom!) and later, worked 11 years for them full time. I worked long enough to know for dead certain I wanted no part of them or any other retail store.
(Mom retired there after 35 years). After high school and while in college I got my draft notice. This was Viet Nam prime time. I showed the draft notice to dad, and he said not to worry, I wasn't getting drafted, I was joining. Two days later I was sworn in the US Army. Prior to the draft notice I had married my high school sweetheart four months early to avoid the draft. Unfortunately LBJ decided that married men with no children were fair game after all. I had spent my youth trying to avoid the army. I was afraid to look in the mailbox each day. I wound up spending 32 years of wonderful exciting service in the US Army, retiring as a Command Sergeant major. My wife hated school with a passion. She retired with 28 years in the public school system as a teacher and administrator. Shows to go you, you never know, do you?
I had a great life growing up, in between, and currently do now as well!!!!!
I had a kind of 1950s-style childhood, but in the 70s.
I am not good with money so I basically don't do anything with it that is complicated.
It was expected I would go to college and I did. I ended up paying for my own university education with only $3000 in a loan, a part-time job, grants and rent help from my parents. College was paid for within 2 years of graduation. I loved college. I majored in something completely esoteric and useless and loved every minute of it and still managed to become a computer programmer eventually.
I have always gravitated toward male dominated careers. I have tried a lot of careers, all wildly different. I can't imagine the horror of spending your entire life doing one thing.
It wasn't until my 30s that I actually had a full-time job and even now, in my mid-40s I only work part-time. There are better things to do than help somebody else get rich. Time means more to me than money.
I am thinking lately that I may have to hunker down for a few years and save like mad. I don't look so young anymore. The part of that equation that is about saving and being frugal is the easy part for me. It's the going to work every day year after year and pretending I'm part of the machine that is hard.
I am not good with money so I basically don't do anything with it that is complicated.
It was expected I would go to college and I did. I ended up paying for my own university education with only $3000 in a loan, a part-time job, grants and rent help from my parents. College was paid for within 2 years of graduation. I loved college. I majored in something completely esoteric and useless and loved every minute of it and still managed to become a computer programmer eventually.
I have always gravitated toward male dominated careers. I have tried a lot of careers, all wildly different. I can't imagine the horror of spending your entire life doing one thing.
It wasn't until my 30s that I actually had a full-time job and even now, in my mid-40s I only work part-time. There are better things to do than help somebody else get rich. Time means more to me than money.
I am thinking lately that I may have to hunker down for a few years and save like mad. I don't look so young anymore. The part of that equation that is about saving and being frugal is the easy part for me. It's the going to work every day year after year and pretending I'm part of the machine that is hard.
Formative experiences: LEGOS, cub scouts, fishing, exploring the woods, empire building computer games, walking to school, computer programming, music, Dungeons & Dragons, BBS, science fiction, bicycling, wood shop, constant bruises and scrapes; Pink Floyd, Dune, and entering the corporate world as a teenager with that stuff swimming in my head.
I wound up an intellectual geek but uncharacteristically spent most of my childhood doing practical and/or dangerous things outdoors. Consequently, while I can understand complex systems on a conceptual level, I'm not afraid to actually do things with my hands and am suspicious about relying completely on man-made abstractions. All the subversive sci-fi and music made me realize that the status quo is only one of many viable world orders, and the establishment shouldn't be taken too seriously. Then again I have empire-building, utilitarian, optimizing tendencies to make the establishment work for me. It's a weird combination that seems to be rare in general, but common in this forum.
I wound up an intellectual geek but uncharacteristically spent most of my childhood doing practical and/or dangerous things outdoors. Consequently, while I can understand complex systems on a conceptual level, I'm not afraid to actually do things with my hands and am suspicious about relying completely on man-made abstractions. All the subversive sci-fi and music made me realize that the status quo is only one of many viable world orders, and the establishment shouldn't be taken too seriously. Then again I have empire-building, utilitarian, optimizing tendencies to make the establishment work for me. It's a weird combination that seems to be rare in general, but common in this forum.
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jacob
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The lesson I learned from growing up was that money was something you worked for and when you had worked for it, you got to spend it. I got an allowance ($2/week -> $20/month) and was expected to do chores (not directly associated with the allowance) since I was 5 (my job was to dry the dishes after dinner, my dad did the dishes) + other stuff. The allowance was not a payment for the chores. It was fun-money. My parents paid for clothes and I just wore whatever my mom bought me. My parents' financial situation was never discussed openly. Hence, work => money and money => stuff.
Consumer credit in Denmark is a recent phenomena and so not an issue. My parents put most of their money in home equity. My parents are workaholics. They like to work and they work hard. For them there's honor in doing a good job; job titles are not important.
From the time when I was 10 or 11, my sister and I helped clean the supermarket my dad managed every other Saturday at 5am. When I was 15 I got a job there during opening hours and made "lots" of money ($300/month). This was all saved to buy computer hardware and other big toys. A substantial fraction went towards the huge phone bills I ran up with my BBS.
This pattern of bigger and bigger toys continued with every pay raise until I discovered the start of the ERE project. I started saving just prior to my plan of building a giant linux-based beowulf cluster in my room.
My sister and I have turned out with quite differently. Our parents have never enforced a direction on us but allowed us to find our own paths in life. The only expectation was that we found something that made us happy. There was no pressure to "get an education" but I would say there was definitely pressure to "finish what we started" and keep commitments, not quit, not do a half-assed job, etc.
I have always been idiosyncratic with my values. To give you an idea ... pre-ERE I bought a set of amplifiers; I forget the exact weight and price, but around 70 pounds and $700 or so; and then I carried them home by hand for 5-6km in order to save $1-2 on bus tickets. I tended to spend lots of money on stuff but very little on services and restaurants which I perceived to have a really low value. In many ways, switching to ERE was just a case of switching to increases in my savings account from "yet another gadget." Actually, I was initially saving for a house (an even bigger thing) since I resented having to pay interest (something for nothing) for a mortgage.
Consumer credit in Denmark is a recent phenomena and so not an issue. My parents put most of their money in home equity. My parents are workaholics. They like to work and they work hard. For them there's honor in doing a good job; job titles are not important.
From the time when I was 10 or 11, my sister and I helped clean the supermarket my dad managed every other Saturday at 5am. When I was 15 I got a job there during opening hours and made "lots" of money ($300/month). This was all saved to buy computer hardware and other big toys. A substantial fraction went towards the huge phone bills I ran up with my BBS.
This pattern of bigger and bigger toys continued with every pay raise until I discovered the start of the ERE project. I started saving just prior to my plan of building a giant linux-based beowulf cluster in my room.
My sister and I have turned out with quite differently. Our parents have never enforced a direction on us but allowed us to find our own paths in life. The only expectation was that we found something that made us happy. There was no pressure to "get an education" but I would say there was definitely pressure to "finish what we started" and keep commitments, not quit, not do a half-assed job, etc.
I have always been idiosyncratic with my values. To give you an idea ... pre-ERE I bought a set of amplifiers; I forget the exact weight and price, but around 70 pounds and $700 or so; and then I carried them home by hand for 5-6km in order to save $1-2 on bus tickets. I tended to spend lots of money on stuff but very little on services and restaurants which I perceived to have a really low value. In many ways, switching to ERE was just a case of switching to increases in my savings account from "yet another gadget." Actually, I was initially saving for a house (an even bigger thing) since I resented having to pay interest (something for nothing) for a mortgage.
@akratic: what your dad said makes sense to me in that the best way to choose is obviously after having experienced all 3 firsthand- lower-, middle-, and upper-class lifestyles; for drawing from others' experiences alone rarely works in lifestyle redesign.
now, out of all the permutations, the upper to middle to lower path is the easiest to try on for size, for the simple reason that you only need to pretend you're 'poor' and you can instantly start experiencing that lifestyle, and if it doesn't suit you the way you'd imagined it to be, hmmm, you can stop pretending, and get back to being rich in as little time as it takes for this thought to cross your mind. a 'poor' lifestyle may be simulated at no cost ( there are emotional costs, but they may safely be assumed to be of little consequence for the person of a certain mindset, which mindset is what drives people towards experimenting with their lifestyles to start with)
on the other hand, if you had to try the poor to middle to rich route, beware the obstacles and the long treacherous path. this, incidentally, is the most crowded of all paths,with almost every 'poor' and middle-class person sold on the idea that all they need is to get to 'rich' and it'll be all happiness from there. few eventually get there ( not everyone has what it takes to work their ass off, penny-pinch and do it every waking day for 30 years or so...by which time if you're lucky with your passive investments too, you can hope to be barely rich. the other non-robust paths to richness don't warrant mention by virtue of their being accessible to only a few in a million). and almost all of the few who get there eventually realize - or so i've heard- that being 'rich' has not really made any difference in the way they'd imagined it would. okay..if it makes no difference,it's then time to go back to being 'poor', eh? well..not a bad idea,if you could get back those worked-my-ass-off-and penny-pinched-every-waking-day-of-which-30-years, which unfortunately you now cannot. so,you decide to stay rich, and that's most likely one new addition to the count of the world's grumpy rich old men.
now, out of all the permutations, the upper to middle to lower path is the easiest to try on for size, for the simple reason that you only need to pretend you're 'poor' and you can instantly start experiencing that lifestyle, and if it doesn't suit you the way you'd imagined it to be, hmmm, you can stop pretending, and get back to being rich in as little time as it takes for this thought to cross your mind. a 'poor' lifestyle may be simulated at no cost ( there are emotional costs, but they may safely be assumed to be of little consequence for the person of a certain mindset, which mindset is what drives people towards experimenting with their lifestyles to start with)
on the other hand, if you had to try the poor to middle to rich route, beware the obstacles and the long treacherous path. this, incidentally, is the most crowded of all paths,with almost every 'poor' and middle-class person sold on the idea that all they need is to get to 'rich' and it'll be all happiness from there. few eventually get there ( not everyone has what it takes to work their ass off, penny-pinch and do it every waking day for 30 years or so...by which time if you're lucky with your passive investments too, you can hope to be barely rich. the other non-robust paths to richness don't warrant mention by virtue of their being accessible to only a few in a million). and almost all of the few who get there eventually realize - or so i've heard- that being 'rich' has not really made any difference in the way they'd imagined it would. okay..if it makes no difference,it's then time to go back to being 'poor', eh? well..not a bad idea,if you could get back those worked-my-ass-off-and penny-pinched-every-waking-day-of-which-30-years, which unfortunately you now cannot. so,you decide to stay rich, and that's most likely one new addition to the count of the world's grumpy rich old men.
I grew up middle-class. I was born in New England and grew up in the Midwest. My parents are well educated, and spent a lot of time focusing on mine. My dad worked for Big Corporation, after growing up on a farm. I think he wanted to escape the farm in hopes of a higher intellectual environment and a steady, higher stream of income. My mom taught English and hated the disciplinary side of it.
I believe part of my hopes are to escape the mediocrity of the middle-class: passive lifestyles rampant with materialism, while stuck in the rat-race. My parents did plenty of DIY projects, which influenced me to a low level understanding in areas like woodworking, cooking, and gardening. I could have learned more, but my interests were more in exploring nearby creeks and reading.
I've always had a job since age 13. Until this past summer, I saved the most cash at age 15 during a summer vacation (On further inspection: I paid $0 for housing at my parents; I didn't have a car; and I only ate my parents' food). I worked as a caddy and learned the tricks to high tips, which is mainly hustle. I've always judged my past jobs based on that summer, even though I worked 14+ hours a day.
In terms of spending money, I never really spent money until college when I discovered triathlons, bicycle racing, and backpacking. Hence, most of my expenses have been in these areas, but some of them compliment ERE.
I believe part of my hopes are to escape the mediocrity of the middle-class: passive lifestyles rampant with materialism, while stuck in the rat-race. My parents did plenty of DIY projects, which influenced me to a low level understanding in areas like woodworking, cooking, and gardening. I could have learned more, but my interests were more in exploring nearby creeks and reading.
I've always had a job since age 13. Until this past summer, I saved the most cash at age 15 during a summer vacation (On further inspection: I paid $0 for housing at my parents; I didn't have a car; and I only ate my parents' food). I worked as a caddy and learned the tricks to high tips, which is mainly hustle. I've always judged my past jobs based on that summer, even though I worked 14+ hours a day.
In terms of spending money, I never really spent money until college when I discovered triathlons, bicycle racing, and backpacking. Hence, most of my expenses have been in these areas, but some of them compliment ERE.
My parents both worked full time on opposite shifts so they wouldn't have to pay for child care. Our family of six (sometimes seven whan Grandma was there) lived on one of those incomes while they saved the other paycheck. My dad's goal was to go into business for himself repairing tv's and appliances. We got to work in his shop. One of my first "jobs" was demolishing tv's for the copper, which we then recycled. He did that for a few years, until we moved and he decided to try his luck at farming. Mom has always worked at the hospital.
I have inherited my Dad's tendancy towards crazy schemes and (not enough!) of my Mom's pragmatism. While I don't like casino gambling, I don't mind taking bigger risks to realize one of those aforementioned schemes.
I have inherited my Dad's tendancy towards crazy schemes and (not enough!) of my Mom's pragmatism. While I don't like casino gambling, I don't mind taking bigger risks to realize one of those aforementioned schemes.
I'm the youngest of 7. Dad was very sick, died when I was 8. Mum raised us. Mum's an immigrant refugee. She has a different language, culture, no family here. Mum's frugality got us through. What other kids took for granted, we saw as a luxury. Hot water, smelly soap, bath, toilet paper, school bag, heating etc. We had letters from teachers who didn't understand, and destroyed them before our parents saw them. We had to stand up for ourselves. Saw other kids spend money and couldn't understand why they wasted it. I'm frugal
What a great thread - it's so interesting to see how everyone ended up here.
I grew up in a lower-middle-class household, but it always felt even lower than it was because there were two parts to our town and I was in the small, less wealthy section.
I never needed a lot, and was fine wearing a lot of hand-me-downs. I distinctly remember around 10 years old I told my mom that all I ever needed was enough money to buy a McDonalds hamburger and I'd be fine. That philosophy never really changed (except the thought of a McD's burger sounds nasty now). I made a few bad financial decisions, but for the most part never needed a lot.
My parents never talked money as far as I ever knew, of course I'm not sure they talked much in general. My dad instilled in me the "value of hard work", and saving money. He was a first-generation college grad and very proud of that. I got a job as a paper-boy when I was 11, delivered paper everyday for 2 years and made $2500. My dad never let me spend any of it, and taught me to balance a checkbook. I had my own checks at 11 and was very proud. When I reached $1000 in savings my dad let me take out $100 and by a gameboy - I was super excited. (It's funny in hindsight, because I actually used a similar technique with my wife where as I would reward her with $1000 to spend however she wanted with no questions asked for every $100K we saved into our eTrade account.) I invested that $2500 into Bally Fitness stock, and it doubled in a few months. Every day I scanned the NYSE stock results in the paper and checked my progress. The 90's were good to that money, and when I graduated college in 2000 it was worth $19000. I bought my first car with it to drive cross country to my job (the car was $3500).
I was only ever shown one choice - the salary man - and that's what I became. It was never for me, it just took 30 years to realize it. But that should all be over soon!
I grew up in a lower-middle-class household, but it always felt even lower than it was because there were two parts to our town and I was in the small, less wealthy section.
I never needed a lot, and was fine wearing a lot of hand-me-downs. I distinctly remember around 10 years old I told my mom that all I ever needed was enough money to buy a McDonalds hamburger and I'd be fine. That philosophy never really changed (except the thought of a McD's burger sounds nasty now). I made a few bad financial decisions, but for the most part never needed a lot.
My parents never talked money as far as I ever knew, of course I'm not sure they talked much in general. My dad instilled in me the "value of hard work", and saving money. He was a first-generation college grad and very proud of that. I got a job as a paper-boy when I was 11, delivered paper everyday for 2 years and made $2500. My dad never let me spend any of it, and taught me to balance a checkbook. I had my own checks at 11 and was very proud. When I reached $1000 in savings my dad let me take out $100 and by a gameboy - I was super excited. (It's funny in hindsight, because I actually used a similar technique with my wife where as I would reward her with $1000 to spend however she wanted with no questions asked for every $100K we saved into our eTrade account.) I invested that $2500 into Bally Fitness stock, and it doubled in a few months. Every day I scanned the NYSE stock results in the paper and checked my progress. The 90's were good to that money, and when I graduated college in 2000 it was worth $19000. I bought my first car with it to drive cross country to my job (the car was $3500).
I was only ever shown one choice - the salary man - and that's what I became. It was never for me, it just took 30 years to realize it. But that should all be over soon!
I love reading these stories!
I am the son of Spanish immigrants and my parents moved us all over the United States with frequent long visits to Spain. My parents have both changed careers more than once, but they were teachers for a while which gave us long summers with family. My grandparents had important roles in my life as did my aunts, uncles and cousins.
One thing I learned from my grandfather was to never waste anything. He was notorious for turning garbage into make-shift solutions to any physical problem. He had little interest in anything frivolous, loved the outdoors, and was very resourceful. He was found of saying that he was extremely wealthy, but that his definition of wealth was consuming less than you have.
As a child I went through phases of obsessions, which my parents nurtured. First, animals. Summers spent hiking through the countryside with my grandfather made me want to memorize the scientific name of every local species. I started with the eye-catching and interesting lizards and worked all the way to the mundane grasses and trees. How annoying I must've been to my parents and peers on walks, pointing out every Sturnus vulgaris. I guess I thought I was smart. My childish arrogance lead me to first to the library and then to the internet, where I found countless other topics to obsess about. Science fiction, the Spanish Civil War, mobile robotics, syndicalism, computer science, whatever. All encouraged by my parents, but the ones they especially pushed me towards were the practical interests that they thought would eventually lead to a fruitful career. Discussions of radical politics were tolerated, but requests for new books on programming or electronics were swiftly fulfilled.
Basically, my parents saw these obsessions of mine as a means to an end, I naively didn't think that way yet.
The age at which I interested in programming was around 14-16. It's also when I started making the choices and friends that would shape the rest of my life (well, up until now. I'm ~25). I went to an engineering university (the same one all the nerdy kids in my high school went to), got a couple of degrees and have the same job at the same company as many of my university peers (and even with some from before).
I guess my parents were successful, and I don't resent their guidance at all. But a safe software engineering job in the American midwest can't support the life I want. I think I'll live by the example my parents and grandparents set and be a bit more adventurous.
(It's funny how this thread ties into the How can this work with kids? thread. My parents encouraged me and my siblings to follow the safe and predictable path in this country, but I'm the only one that fell for it. My siblings both are unconventional - like my parents, ha!)
I am the son of Spanish immigrants and my parents moved us all over the United States with frequent long visits to Spain. My parents have both changed careers more than once, but they were teachers for a while which gave us long summers with family. My grandparents had important roles in my life as did my aunts, uncles and cousins.
One thing I learned from my grandfather was to never waste anything. He was notorious for turning garbage into make-shift solutions to any physical problem. He had little interest in anything frivolous, loved the outdoors, and was very resourceful. He was found of saying that he was extremely wealthy, but that his definition of wealth was consuming less than you have.
As a child I went through phases of obsessions, which my parents nurtured. First, animals. Summers spent hiking through the countryside with my grandfather made me want to memorize the scientific name of every local species. I started with the eye-catching and interesting lizards and worked all the way to the mundane grasses and trees. How annoying I must've been to my parents and peers on walks, pointing out every Sturnus vulgaris. I guess I thought I was smart. My childish arrogance lead me to first to the library and then to the internet, where I found countless other topics to obsess about. Science fiction, the Spanish Civil War, mobile robotics, syndicalism, computer science, whatever. All encouraged by my parents, but the ones they especially pushed me towards were the practical interests that they thought would eventually lead to a fruitful career. Discussions of radical politics were tolerated, but requests for new books on programming or electronics were swiftly fulfilled.
Basically, my parents saw these obsessions of mine as a means to an end, I naively didn't think that way yet.
The age at which I interested in programming was around 14-16. It's also when I started making the choices and friends that would shape the rest of my life (well, up until now. I'm ~25). I went to an engineering university (the same one all the nerdy kids in my high school went to), got a couple of degrees and have the same job at the same company as many of my university peers (and even with some from before).
I guess my parents were successful, and I don't resent their guidance at all. But a safe software engineering job in the American midwest can't support the life I want. I think I'll live by the example my parents and grandparents set and be a bit more adventurous.
(It's funny how this thread ties into the How can this work with kids? thread. My parents encouraged me and my siblings to follow the safe and predictable path in this country, but I'm the only one that fell for it. My siblings both are unconventional - like my parents, ha!)
My mom had me when she was 17 and I only saw my dad a handful of times growing up (we're somewhat closer now). Despite that, I ended up more like my minimalist wanderer dad than my hyperconsumer mom.
I spent most of my childhood up until age 7 living in my mother's father's house. He was a wealthy real estate lawyer, but also very frugal. He had 4 cars, but all of them were old and purchased used. Usually at least one at a time did not run. In fact, when I turned 16 he gave me his newest car, which was 15 years old. Most weekends while my mom was working I'd ride around town with him supervising work on his rental houses and office buildings. Someday when I'm more settled I'd like to try owning property like this myself. I wasn't too excited about his lessons on how a young southern lady should behave, but I guess that was his era. I was a tomboy and usually covered in dirt or chasing lizards or something.
I also spent a lot of time with my father's mother. Despite not completing high school, she owned her own florist/nursery/landscape business which seemed to do quite well. She lives in a house she and my step-grandfather built themselves (not a shack though, it's big and on waterfront property). She drove around in a beat-up pickup truck with signs for her business on the side. I learned most of my practical DIY skills from her when she bought a crumbling Victorian house when I was a teenager and then restored it mostly by herself with a handyman over a few years. Currently she owns an office park and some rental homes like my grandfather did.
Meanwhile, my mom got remarried so we were living on our own. Soon I had siblings and we started collecting stuff. It was a lot of stuff and it was never clean at home. I think this is what turned me off of wanting kids or buying a lot of things. My mom and stepdad are much more consumerist than either side of grandparents. We always had tons of clothes, gadgets, and drove around in new cars that got trashed pretty quickly. I was always told money was tight, but it still got spent anyway so that didn't make much sense to me.
My grandfather decided I should go to private school, so I went to school with the same 70 rich kids every year in middle and high school. I didn't live in the right part of town and my parents didn't take me on the right vacations or have the right kind of jobs, so I was not one of the cool kids. I also played with computers, read books about dragons, didn't care what my hair looked like, or want to gossip, so I probably wouldn't have been a cool kid anyway. Basically, I hated every minute of school with a passion. I liked learning what I was interested in, but school felt like being stuck in a cage all day. I got decent grades and a good SAT score, so I got into some "good schools". But surprise! My mom hadn't saved a cent for me to go to college. None of those good schools were in state, so I had to go to a not so good college that I could go to for free. I hated going to school there too though, so I quit college and kept working as a programmer. So far it's working out fine, but I'd really like to try something different.
From comparing my frugal business/property-owner grandparents to my wage-slave consumerist mom, it was pretty easy to decide which financial path I was more interested in. When I read about ERE it resonated with where I was already hoping to head.
@Dienekes I also grew up in Savannah!
I spent most of my childhood up until age 7 living in my mother's father's house. He was a wealthy real estate lawyer, but also very frugal. He had 4 cars, but all of them were old and purchased used. Usually at least one at a time did not run. In fact, when I turned 16 he gave me his newest car, which was 15 years old. Most weekends while my mom was working I'd ride around town with him supervising work on his rental houses and office buildings. Someday when I'm more settled I'd like to try owning property like this myself. I wasn't too excited about his lessons on how a young southern lady should behave, but I guess that was his era. I was a tomboy and usually covered in dirt or chasing lizards or something.
I also spent a lot of time with my father's mother. Despite not completing high school, she owned her own florist/nursery/landscape business which seemed to do quite well. She lives in a house she and my step-grandfather built themselves (not a shack though, it's big and on waterfront property). She drove around in a beat-up pickup truck with signs for her business on the side. I learned most of my practical DIY skills from her when she bought a crumbling Victorian house when I was a teenager and then restored it mostly by herself with a handyman over a few years. Currently she owns an office park and some rental homes like my grandfather did.
Meanwhile, my mom got remarried so we were living on our own. Soon I had siblings and we started collecting stuff. It was a lot of stuff and it was never clean at home. I think this is what turned me off of wanting kids or buying a lot of things. My mom and stepdad are much more consumerist than either side of grandparents. We always had tons of clothes, gadgets, and drove around in new cars that got trashed pretty quickly. I was always told money was tight, but it still got spent anyway so that didn't make much sense to me.
My grandfather decided I should go to private school, so I went to school with the same 70 rich kids every year in middle and high school. I didn't live in the right part of town and my parents didn't take me on the right vacations or have the right kind of jobs, so I was not one of the cool kids. I also played with computers, read books about dragons, didn't care what my hair looked like, or want to gossip, so I probably wouldn't have been a cool kid anyway. Basically, I hated every minute of school with a passion. I liked learning what I was interested in, but school felt like being stuck in a cage all day. I got decent grades and a good SAT score, so I got into some "good schools". But surprise! My mom hadn't saved a cent for me to go to college. None of those good schools were in state, so I had to go to a not so good college that I could go to for free. I hated going to school there too though, so I quit college and kept working as a programmer. So far it's working out fine, but I'd really like to try something different.
From comparing my frugal business/property-owner grandparents to my wage-slave consumerist mom, it was pretty easy to decide which financial path I was more interested in. When I read about ERE it resonated with where I was already hoping to head.
@Dienekes I also grew up in Savannah!