Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

How to pass, fit in, eventually set an example, and ultimately lead the way.
jacob
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by jacob »

It typically lasts one more year.

classical_Liberal
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by classical_Liberal »

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Olaz: What Jacob said.

In theory, there is such thing as a good or natural divorce. Best you can do is find a partner who not only supports your goals, but also respects your purpose, and even honors your truth. It is pretty rare for a person to alter their core truth, but it does happen, and that can result in a good or necessary divorce.

So, what you do not want to do is pick somebody for life partner just at the level of support for your current goals, or at even lower level of strategy/tactics.

For instance, an ENTP is supposed to achieve personal growth in the direction of the INTX through the shared trait of curiosity in alignment with the value of conservation of resources. So, if you met an ENTP and she was a bit of a hawt mess in the realm of her finances, but she admired your functioning, she might be a better long term partner than a financially high functioning female who was primarily motivated by value of power rather than by value of conservation.

BRUTE
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by BRUTE »

humans never get divorced because their marriage was going so well. <insert Louis CK sketch on this topic>

classical_Liberal
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by classical_Liberal »

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TheRedHare
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by TheRedHare »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:01 am
For instance, an ENTP is supposed to achieve personal growth in the direction of the INTX through the shared trait of curiosity in alignment with the value of conservation of resources. So, if you met an ENTP and she was a bit of a hawt mess in the realm of her finances, but she admired your functioning, she might be a better long term partner than a financially high functioning female who was primarily motivated by value of power rather than by value of conservation.
As an INTJ (although I sometimes end up getting INFJ), I found a couple of girls that were EN?Ps and have found them most attractive in terms of their personality. Although, I found there concept of money to be lacking, then again they were younger than me. There is this one ENFP girl whom I find physically and emotionally attractive, but she is all caught up in the world of "Frat" where she mostly hangs out with a bunch of douche bags. I can see how hard she is trying to "fit in" to that category, but I also see how she knows she is different than them. Since her family and mine are fairly decent friends, I'm hoping she might realize how fake the frat people are and just be herself....but I don't have my hopes up.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

ENFP is warm, open, generous, needs to be needed type. Signaling self-sufficient will render you invisible. Try making demands in form such as " I need you to come over on Friday and watch movie with me." , but keep tone cool masculine assertive, not pathetic, even though you are using the word "need."

Also, you will find yourself miles ahead of the game if you can stop thinking of your male competitors who are not like you as douchebags. It's kind of like calling the player who steals the ball from you cause you did not make your play fast enough a douchbag and then wondering why basketballs seem to always be choosing to let themselves be handled by douchebags

BRUTE
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by BRUTE »

7Wannabe5 is a pick up guru :D

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Jean
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by Jean »

I met my GF while living in a squatted house.
But as a rule of thumb, the more your life is alligned with your goals, the more the people you meet will be alligned with them too.

SustainableHappiness
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by SustainableHappiness »

Try to stop using the word normies. Makes you sound like a prick.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@BRUTE: Nah, just a basketball that reads too much.

TheRedHare
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by TheRedHare »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:29 pm
ENFP is warm, open, generous, needs to be needed type. Signaling self-sufficient will render you invisible.

Also, you will find yourself miles ahead of the game if you can stop thinking of your male competitors who are not like you as douchebags.
What about ENTPs? I've met a few of them before, they seem to be a bit domineering.
And I totally agree with you on the last statement haha. I'm typically not like that, but growing up in the south and being around a lot of frat people during college has worn on me.
SustainableHappiness wrote:
Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:48 pm
Try to stop using the word normies. Makes you sound like a prick.
I just use it in a joking manner, kinda like how they call us weirdos or crazies.

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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by TopHatFox »

@scriptbunny: Yahoo finance comments? (lol)

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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by TheRedHare »

scriptbunny wrote:
Thu Jun 29, 2017 6:17 am
TheRedHare wrote:I just use it in a joking manner, kinda like how they call us weirdos or crazies.
Who are "they"?
They being the ones that aren't into ERE

7Wannabe5
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@TheRedHare: Female ENTP's are much less common than female ENFP's. ENTJ's are very domineering, but ENTP's mostly just like to debate issues for fun. IME, men who are very I and very F sometimes can't grok the difference between enjoying the debate or being enthusiastic about a new project/idea and seriously wanting to take and hold power and control when I (ENTP) am in relationship with them. YMMV. A good example of this would be when Stephen Colbert (ENTP) was running for president. There's always a bit of a Wizard of Oz farce or inability to hold the pose when an ENTP is in a position of leadership. Mostly ENTP's desire long-leash independence in relationship, and quickly feel trapped in position of leadership after initial burst of energy fades.

I was married to a very IF man for a couple decades, so coming out of that relationship I really felt like I had a tendency to be the more pro-active partner, but in my 10 years of dating career since my divorce, I quickly and repeatedly discovered that I am a pushover in relationship to most men (caveat here being that I generally follow old school practice of only dating men who clearly indicate strong desire to date me which would weight my pool towards more assertive personality types.)

Stahlmann
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by Stahlmann »

jacob wrote:
Mon Jun 26, 2017 9:19 am
..
If you're looking for compatible people who do understand ERE, look for people working in (high) finance, anyone into permaculture, and people who are trying to save the world (not using politics). Simple living is a bit risky (many hate money and everything it stands for). I don't think world-travel is a good indicator, but maybe that's just me.
there was also post (which I can't find atm), in which you also recommended prepping/survivalism/bushcraft (but I think it's mostly male dominated hobby).

anyhow... any new developments on this?

PhoneticNachos
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Re: Being misunderstood while trying to be ERE/ Finding a partner

Post by PhoneticNachos »

Some people just don't understand, and also there are people who are asexual/aromantic, so they are not prone to dating/romance much.

I have always explained my lifestyle and goals in a way that has me being able to maximize what I value spending money on, and trying to minimize spending on what I don't value.

This leads to retirement discussions sometimes, so I explain my simple wealth formula:

"For every $100 I can lower my monthly cost in retirement, I reduce the portfolio need by $30k, via the monthly cost X * 300 given a 4% SWR".

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