Identifying toxic personalities and finding ways to avoid them is a skill well-worth developing. I think its difficult to achieve long-term happiness in life without doing this. Outside of self-inflicted wounds, this would seem to me to be the #1 cause of unhappiness -- or at least right up there.Ego wrote:It's funny how we hold onto people out of nostalgia or obligation or networking. In a few other threads there has been talk about social circles and networks. Without doubt they can be valuable. As others have said, this network-mania can be misconstrued. It can blind us to the fact that sometimes we would be much better off excluding some people from our lives. Toxic people.Devil's Advocate wrote:Ego, what you said will resonate with everyone I'm sure. It's important to remember not all friends are worth keeping.
Not just ERE, any life-changing situation or decision is also an opportunity to see which of your friends are really friends. I would say to OP that losing these non-supportive friends is simply another expression of decluttering. Good riddance, be happy you lost them, if instead of being happy for you and supportive of you, all they can do is show their true and ugly face to you.
This can be hard. We talk a lot here about paring our possessions down to the minimal necessary for a good life. Anything more is superfluous. Diminishing returns. People are not possessions. They have feelings. Pairing them down because of diminishing returns can be cruel. On the other hand, enduring a toxic person can also be cruel.... to yourself.
If you are wearing a shirt with a tag that irritates your skin, wouldn't you stop wearing it? Or at least cut off the tag?
It's hardest when the toxic person is a family member. Sometimes plotting the escape takes time and effort.
