Night Out Versus Saving Money

gibberade · Post by **gibberade** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:43 pm

The situation is that my friends and I go out on the weekends, but it ALWAYS costs money.

For example, tonight...a $15 movies and a (thankfully cheap) restaurant.

How do you deal with this? It's totally contrary to ERE, but at the same time I am reluctant to skip out and be a loner. Where's the proper balance?

NYC ERE · Post by **NYC ERE** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:53 pm

In a perfect world, Netflix plus make dinner. If you don't have a big TV, get one--32" non-LCD TVs are <$50. Even if the dinner has relatively expensive ingredients (organic meat, etc.), you're looking at ≤$10 per person.

gibberade · Post by **gibberade** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:00 pm

I'm talking about in social settings. I.e. with friends. If I'm compelled into such a situation where I have to spend money.

NYC ERE · Post by **NYC ERE** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:04 pm

put it in your budget, i guess, if you can't steer them elsewhere... that's the approach of many on the forum, i think.

gibberade · Post by **gibberade** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:09 pm

Yeah, I agree. Try to steer them away.
If I can't, either skip or foot the bill. Tonight I'm just going to pass on the $15 movie and head with them to the bar after. Gotta sacrifice a little bit now for immense rewards later!

George the original one · Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:09 pm

If they're dragging you to the movies, then you don't have much choice. At a restaurant, you can order a token beverage while they have a meal. Or divert them from the restaurant to a hosted "let's make xyz at my place or your place".

aquadump · Post by **aquadump** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:21 pm

I second George the original one (pun intended). It's easier to shift from restaurants to home cokking than I would've thought: I find that my friends like the idea of saving money but might feel social pressures to go out with status quo.
I also started being the DD, more often.

JohnnyH · Post by **JohnnyH** » Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:33 am

I only see a movie in a theater if it's going to be more enjoyable on a big screen... Even then, it must be good and I have to really want to see it. Happens a few times a year (Inception last)...
Ditch the movie, doesn't really count as a social interaction anyway.
Try to have drinks at your (or someone elses) house if possible. Or at least find a place with a happy hour, some specials, or cheap pitchers.

Chris · Post by **Chris** » Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:43 am

I wouldn't go so far to say going out with friends is totally against ERE... it's ok to spend where you think it's worthwhile, and cut spending on what's not important. Do a cost-benefit: is one night out worth pushing financial independence x more days into the future?
When my friends want to do restaurant + dinner, I'll usually skip the dinner and do the movie. They'll want to discuss the movie afterward; that's the social aspect. The cheap way to do movie theaters is to grab a discounted multipack (maybe available from your employer, warehouse club, or church), carpool to the drive-in, or go to a second-run theater.

mwilliams92 · Post by **mwilliams92** » Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:59 am

Try to get them to go at cheap times or days for movies. It requires a little more planning but, I agree, most people are happy to spend less money.
If you really want to hang out on a weekend night, opt for bars, pubs or even coffee shops

Tobleronie · Post by **Tobleronie** » Tue Nov 27, 2012 7:45 pm

Hi all

An idea we had which seems popular is once a week cook in with friends. We rotate, so once a week we cook for 6-8 other people, everyone brings a bit of wine and one dish whilst the host provides two mains or 1 main and 1 desert. It is like eating out with friends but without the expense. We change locations once a week at each other's homes. The cost is wine/beer, home cooked dish, transport and great conversation.

FrugalZen · Post by **FrugalZen** » Wed Nov 28, 2012 12:21 am

I think the new Entertainment discount book for next year is going on sale....Yes you have to buy it but the discounts make up for it...you just need to make sure you get the one for your city.
First time I went to London I got the one for there.
Unlike for my hometown of Orlando where the average discount is a BOGO usually with a six person limit.
London's was mostly a straight 25% off the bill with the coupon from the book. It really did pay for itself...I can't remember but I think it was $35 to buy the book...and with the normal prices in London....I left it with the hosts of my BnB when I flew home.

BPA · Post by **BPA** » Wed Nov 28, 2012 2:31 am

Frig. I can't stand going to the movie theatre. Pay too much money to watch something I can watch in a few months for way cheaper...maybe even free, and have to deal with immature asshats in the theatre. No thanks.
I'd skip that but go to the restaurant.

C40 · Post by **C40** » Wed Nov 28, 2012 4:01 am

I think as an Introvert, when I decline invitations for things like going to movies, I am not nearly as considerate as some extroverts might be about feelings of anyone being 'left out' or anything like that. And when I go ahead and act as is natural for myself, my friends either accept this, or maybe it becomes apparent that them and I are not meant to be close friends (both of which are good things).
What I've found among my fairly small group of old college friends is that people who are basically at the same point on a frugality scale (as each other, not as me) will interpret my own frugal actions in very different ways.
Some of my friends act mad at me for not wanting to travel long distance to visit them. They'll poke fun at me for not spending money, make jokes, etc..
Other friends who are very similar to them financially are 100% accepting of my decisions, and never seem unhappy about or impacted in any way by my frugality. One example of my friends belonging in this latter group is a guy who is good at recognizing that some "alternative" behaviors are actually better than the norms in many ways. He looks at it from multiple angles, not just financially or in terms of perceived convenience. So him and I we would ride our bikes together when we went to the bars (Cheaper, more fun, more exciting, more adventurous, you get exercise, and you get to park right in front of the bar) and we'd also take our flasks (cheaper, simpler, easier, and faster than waiting at the bar to order a drink).
My friends in the first category, the frugality haters, are certainly capable of understanding the benefits, but they often don't consider those points unless I explain them, or they just assume that the "normal" ways must be better than any alternatives.
So I suppose:

1 - It's better to find friends of the second type. This doesn't mean finding only frugal people. It probably means finding more open-minded, creative, critically thinking friends.

2 - For your 'frugality hater' friends, accept that when you act the way you want to (not blowing your money) they will give you shit. Don't let it bother you. Just let it slide off your back, or joke about it yourself also, or poke fun back at them for blowing their money..

dragoncar · Post by **dragoncar** » Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:06 am

2 year old thread... hopefully gibberade will come back and tell us how it went

thebbqguy · Post by **thebbqguy** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 2:46 am

I they are true friends, they will be supportive of your efforts to save money.