Introducing ERE with a new partner

bigchrisb · Post by **bigchrisb** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:16 am

I seem to have gotten myself attached, and its all going swimmingly in most areas. We have talked a little financially, and while I don't see our differences as a deal-breaker, I'm trying to figure out how softly-softly to tread. It can be a bit of a touchy subject for some people, and I'm after others thoughts on how forthright to be with this.
The quick version, from what I've been able to piece together thus far:

Me: 31, Income approx $250k/year pre tax, net worth ~1M, savings rate 50-80%. No consumer debt. I'm a bit more frugal and less status driven than she is. Previous partner was perhaps further on the ERE scale than me (anesthetist with ~90% savings rate).
Her: 33, income approx $85k/year pre tax, net worth positive, no consumer debt. Lives slightly below her means, saves for things she wants to do. Previous partner was an indebted over-consumer, she ended up clearing his credit cards a few times.
We have a few obvious differences, such asI choose to live in a shared house in the "burbs" as she calls them, while she chooses to live in a trendy apartment in the centre of town. Plus is that its walking distance form her work, but her rent is something like 25% of her pre-tax income!
I guess the main difference that we are swapping the financial roles from our past relationships - I'm going from the relative splurger to the saver, and she is going from being the financially responsible one to the relative spendthrift.
I don't see it being a real hang-up, but is an interesting transition for both of us. Anyone been through that before and have some pearls of wisdom?

George the original one · Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:13 am

I don't see much difference as you're both spending about the same (I'm guessing at relative tax rates)? If you two merged lives, then the only real question is the compromise between housing costs and length of time until "retirement".

Seneca · Post by **Seneca** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:06 pm

Recently my wife and I were discussing we'd switched roles somewhere along the way, and actually neither one of us could tell you when it happened. It certainly wasn't intentional. I don't think this is much to worry about.
The thing that seems to matter most is working out a shared vision for the future. Shared values, where to live, what to do, children, distance to mother in law, etc etc.

bigchrisb · Post by **bigchrisb** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:46 pm

Good points, perhaps I should stop worrying about it and just get on with life. Happy times.