Dealing with impatience

[cmonkey]

Now that I have a solid plan and am starting to see it roll down the road, I find myself getting extremely impatient from time to time. I realize 5 years isn't that far away yet sometimes I find myself wishing my life away, wishing it was 5 years from now. Maybe winter weather isn't helping

Anyone else feeling the same, and how do you deal with it?

[Dragline]

Write down and focus on non-financial goals that are related to health, hobbies, relationships, learning or other things. Or look to combining them in some way, like reducing food costs with more cooking and transportation costs with more walking or biking.

Think about what you plan to or might do when you stop working and begin to prepare for it. Reading up on something you find interesting is usually a good place to start.

[leeholsen]

i can empathize. i keep trying to figure what i can do to make the goal sooner. the daily grind of a "job" gets to you when you adopt ere and leave the mass consumer mindset.

I would do/do two things:

1. Figure out your target end month and year and start counting it down by month and also keep track of your progress monthly. if you've got investments, you may find your progress goes up and down in 6 months; so you may have to dealt with that disappointment also.

2. keep a journal of your thoughts and goals and add to it and update it at least weekly. you may find those will change from week to week; but i bet within 3 months; you'll find you have re-assured yourself that your initial plan is what you really want and that your impulse to do anything to go ere now were just impulses.

[Scott 2]

Watch the movie click

[cmonkey]

@Dragline
Have definitely been doing this. Problem is most of my hobbies and such involve summer months (mostly gardening). I need some winter hobbies ...

@ leeholsen
Agreed, it becomes a lot worse of a grind than before! I have spent the last couple months revisiting my plan almost weekly, pondering ways to speed it up. I think I am as fast as I'll get though. I actually have figured out my target month (January 2020, coinciding with a new decade). If my returns are higher than I'm planning, it might shave off a year as well.

@Scott 2
Haven't seen that in a while, but should probably revisit it!

[El Duderino]

Watch lots of random youtube videos. Nothing seems to make the hours go by so fast as getting lost in a tunnel of special interest short films.

I was just contemplating the virtue of patience today on my walk from work to the gym tonight, so this is a timely subject. Not just patience in the way you mean, which I struggle with too, but patience in deferring expenses or gratification until the point when they are most needed/beneficial. It's what separates us from the lower animals. Except for squirrels, those little suckers are constantly storing acorns away for later.

Certainly agree with Dragline's wisdom and would combine that with Leeholsen's #1 point in this way. List out all your pre-retirement bucket list items alongside all the skills you think you'll need to cultivate in order to most successfully switchover. Then, develop a plan to do each of the bucket list things (maybe one per quarter) and don't forget to include the time you'll likely be spending practicing the skills and gaining the knowledge in your chosen development areas. You may end up feeling like 5 years isn't so long after all.

[KevinW]

Think about what you plan to or might do when you stop working and begin to prepare for it.

+1

Whatever it is you envision doing once you're retired: start doing that now.

In other words, instead of staring at a countdown clock, live your life.

Personally, I've been less engaged online for the last year or two, because I've been out doing stuff IRL.

[cmonkey]

Personally, I've been less engaged online for the last year or two, because I've been out doing stuff IRL.

Same here, I have been purposely limiting my time online. Amazing how much more you get done in life.

[fiby41]

Watch lots of random youtube videos. Nothing seems to make the hours go by so fast as getting lost in a tunnel of special interest short films.

Isn't that (mindless entertainment) one step less than mindless consumption? Both have the same attitudes too.

But I am guilty of doing that about half a dozen times until now. On the flip side atleast it costs next to nothing.

[abitofluck]

Anyone else feeling the same, and how do you deal with it?

Hi @cmonkey, while our situations are quite different (though I think we both come from technical backgrounds and may share the cube-dwelling lifestyle), I understand and feel the same way. I feel I'm about 3 years away from where I want my numbers to be. I've generally been a patient person, but knowing the distance to the "finish line" is what made time seem to stretch out forever for me. Before I had any idea about ERE or how far the end of the tunnel was, I happily plodded along.

I agree what @Dragline, @leeholson and most others have said (I don't really agree with watching mindless YouTube videos). I believe key is to focus on the non-FI, non-work goals and pursuits and start planning for or even doing those things now ,if possible. Also are you planning on moving somewhere warmer? If you can't pursue things you enjoy now due to the seasons, you'll likely have the same problem after early retirement. I too suffer in winter, and have personally journaled for many years and discovered my distinct patterns. Learn your patterns and you'll also know when things will get better (and avoid decision making during the bad months). Like many people, january - March are a terrible time for me mentally (I'm guessing for you too given your fair-weather hobbies). November and December I do really well (holiday time off!).

I suffer from FI finish line-induced impatience as well and desperately want to flee my job for my new lifestyle both because I dislike the job and its demands (time, mental energy) get in the way of what I want to be doing. I'm not sure if your situation is more the former, latter, or both. The opportunity to vent and commiserate as a psychological crutch for the next few years are my reason for keeping a journal here. Whether or not it helps or hurts with the passage of time still remains to be seen. I hope it helps you!

[cmonkey]

Anyone else feeling the same, and how do you deal with it?

Before I had any idea about ERE or how far the end of the tunnel was, I happily plodded along.

Agreed! The beauty of ERE though is that the tunnel is dramatically shortened. I would gladly take a 3-5 year tunnel of enlightened planning as opposed to a 30+ year tunnel of ignorance!

I have been focusing on changing my motivations for ERE (most of which were driving the impatience in me). The single biggest thing I changed was deciding not to commute by car, but rather take public transportation. Being forced to commute each day was really beginning to stress me out, but I took control of it and decided I didn't want to do it anymore. I retired from commuting to work by car.

Now I can drive when I feel like, rather when the boss thinks I should.

I told myself when I started this journey that I was already retired, but my finances hadn't caught on yet. I think this type of thinking helps a lot as well as it allows you to realize work isn't the most important thing in life.

[El Duderino]

anywhere that has good public transport options seems to charge such a premium for rent that it more than offsets the price difference of a reasonable car.

[cmonkey]

The quad cities has pretty good public transport from what I've found. It's 1 dollar per trip and 1 free transfer. For a monthly pass that gives you unlimited rides its only 30 bucks. To make the 12 miles home takes 50 minutes of riding and 10 min of walking. That includes like 2-3 transfer stations where we sit for 5 minutes.

I'm not sure about rent around here but my property taxes are 2K a year, and I have 1.5 acres with a 1300 sq ft home. It seems to be pretty cheap for what you get.

[El Duderino]

An hour to go 12 miles? That sounds not so good, but the price is right.

Having been spoiled by having a metro system for the past 8 years, I'd lean towards a city which has a similar infrastructure.

Consulting with Wiki, more than a few US cities have metro systems that I wasn't aware of, like Miami and Philly.

Atlanta, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, LA, Miami, NYC, Philly, San Fran, San Juan, DC.

[steveo73]

This is a good thread. I have a job that I basically like. I really like my boss. I like most of the people I work with. At the same time I don't really want to be there. Yesterday I was on a training course and it was a short day but it was a waste of a day because I got basically nothing out of it. I'd rather be doing other stuff.

I really want to become FI so that I can stop turning up to work. I don't have a solution other than to enjoy each day as much as possible which I do. I would just enjoy it more if I could spend more time doing stuff other than turning up to work.

[cmonkey]

An hour to go 12 miles? That sounds not so good, but the price is right.

Well if I took the quickest route its about 20 minutes. I don't take the quickest route because I hate fast driving and traffic so I took a different route which was about 40 minutes. Living in the quad cities we have to deal with a couple of major rivers and so side roads are pretty limited particularly on the Illinois side. So a step up to 50 minutes with a forced walk every day isn't that bad.

I simply hate driving in general and would like to see how long I can go without it. Considering I will only be doing this for another 5 years or so, 2 hours 4 days a week isn't that bad when I can make it more productive than stressing out in traffic.

Also, our transit is a bus system, not a rail system.

[Scott 2]

I'm with you on the driving. When I have to travel, that's always the option of last resort. It's so stressful and dangerous.

Any chance of teleworking 1-2 days a week? I switched to an 80% telework position about for years ago. It has almost totally eliminated the unpleasant parts of my work.

[cmonkey]

I actually do telework on Wednesdays and after a certain someone on my team retires (soon!) I am going to up that to 2 days a week. I have a weird work arrangement where I have a new, younger boss that loves teleworking and an older ex-boss (sort of a tech lead) that is very traditional. I think he will be retiring soon.

Every once in a while it really strikes me at how surreal (and crazy) it is that everyone is driving around in 2 ton metal machines that could totally mangle you if you collide with something. People are so scared of terrorists and bugs and wild animals, yet the single most common thing we all do each day is really the most dangerous.

[OldPro]

Learn the impatient person's prayer. Lord give me the wisdom to be more patient and give it to me NOW!