Aging slower and FI

[jennypenny]

Well, whatever you call it, if you're the kind of person who finds being around people draining instead of invigorating, work life can be painful. One of the most appealing aspects of retirement is not having to be 'on' all the time when you're around other people*. Disengaging feels good. I'm not surprised by how many check out after retiring. Its obvious from that study though that there's a danger of disengaging too much, and I think finding the right balance is probably harder for introverts.

* It's been over 4 years since I quit working and I still remember that awful feeling of having to psych myself up to walk into the building every day. It wasn't the job as much as having to be around people all day. I'm so much happier working from home.

[Ego]

Disengaging feels good.

I can understand that. I guess it is really no different than any other luxury.

[Did]

I thought I was going to do all sorts of ventures post work cessation. It turns out I prefer adventures to ventures and haven't really engaged in any of them.

I am scheduled to join a local brewing group to work on expanding my list of Irish friends (currently none after a year and a half here). The Irish are a strange bunch to outsiders and very closed (cf superficial and mind numbing drunken carry on of which there is plenty).

I think my brain is better off post working. I used to suffer from brain fog caused by chronic stress and burnout I suspect. That has lifted.

[jennypenny]

Have you been in Ireland 1 1/2 years already?

It's hard to find a group of people to satisfy that need for interaction. I don't fit in with any 'mom' groups even though that's where I always get pushed into. Prepper groups are more interesting, but they're mostly men and mostly negative (hate the gov't, hate the fed, etc), so they're not much fun. I liked teaching, but it didn't produce friends. The closest I get is my volunteer groups, but most of those women are older so they don't have the same interests.

Maybe I'm asking too much by hoping a group or person would satisfy more than one need. Maybe part of the busyness they were talking about in the study is doing different things to engage different parts of your brain?

[FBeyer]

I guess it is to be expected for someone actively pursuing a disconnect from society or the prevalent culture of society to be somewhat disconnected from others at a base level.

One who seeks freedom like most here do, can not, or will not, fit into a frame that others have an easy time understanding. I fully expect that the onus of building and maintaining new connections is on me. I cannot expect others to understand why I do like I do.
Thus, I have to accept only dipping into a subset of what makes me me when dealing with other people. For people who are actively trying to tie all their doings, their thoughts, their possessions and actions together in one interwoven mesh, dealing with those who do not, will feel odd.

From an outside point of view, most people would find it irritating that 'we' don't just concentrate on one topic at a time, rather than trying to mesh it all together all the time.

The fix is to create a society of ERE people and live together like a true cult is expected to(*), the alternative is to accept that dealing with other people will ONLY be about one thing at a time be it DIY construction, finance, possessions-optimization, playing cards, gardening, etc.

(*) That's intended as a joke. You may smile at will.

[GandK]

OK, y'all... I really think we need to distinguish between physical and psychological disengagement before continuing. To me, the article was saying we need to avoid the latter, not necessarily the former. And I don't think introversion* is a disadvantage at all if the goal is a state of flow rather than conversational engagement with others. It ought to be a plus.

*Defined here as an experience of psychological fatigue after prolonged periods of interaction, combined with an aversion to surface-level discourse.

[Did]

@jennypenny yes pretty much we arrived in November 14. geeze time flies doesn't it. that's part of my thinking for waiting out the 3 years for citizenship. it just goes so quickly. my only concern with that is that I might be considered of poor character as I don't have a job....

[SilverElephant]

My dad had just turned 60 when I was born, and 62 when my sister was born. I'm convinced that, his good genes notwithstanding, having to deal with two kids, then two teenagers, kept him very fresh through the years. Only since last year, after my sister moved out for good, now that's he's alone somewhat more often, that I'm noticing a slight degrading of... activity, perhaps? Though at 88, it's to be expected. But then, that brings us back to the link in the OP...

Though my father was never FI, but he truly loved his job. Though he was always in charge and never had anyone tell him what to do, so it wasn't the traditional treadmill anyway...

[RD]

FBeyer, thats really good advice. I would take that and use it to manage my social(?) expectations and hope to come out better off.
Reading what JP wrote and your addon made me realise I have some unreasonable/irrational expectations out of social interactions. Energy sapping* notwithstanding.

Fulfilling one solid need at a time, any more than one are bonuses and to be appreciated.

* : High Introvertedness.