Another one in the UK

[Earlybath]

Long time lurker, soaked up lots from the forum over the years, making the push to introduce myself as I thought it would be rude to comment otherwise.

Me
Male, late forties live with OH and our two children.
Historically INTJ but INFP lately it seems.

Background
Followed my interests through my twenties in and out of education and work before finding something I found interesting. Employed in a couple of tech startup’s, worked with a lot of very intelligent people.
However, started totally freaking in my mid 30s when the conflict between work and family and the precariousness of my position became apparent.

Made a plan and slogged away for 5 years living frugally, saving, paying down the mortgage, eventually got up to about 5 years expenses saved. At this stage the freaking had eased but the unhealthiness of long hours in front of a screen and a long long commute started to catch up with me.

I became aware of ER and the idea of investing rather than my more instinctive cash ‘hoarding’, unfortunately that was in 2007… despite my savings taking a 50% hit in 2008 I bailed out of full-time work and started freelancing.

Bright times! Just the project work I liked, 6 months a year, no organisational 'overhead'. As the kids got older OH returned to work part-time which smoothed our income. All was well, fuck the savings rate, I see my family, I am human again.

Then Dame Fortune smiled and one of the startups I’d worked for years previously actually prospered, IPO’d and honoured the employee share options. From 5x expenses to 25x overnight.

After FI
I cut down the freelancing to a several weeks a year, just because I still like it. OH enjoys her job and gets slowly pulled in working full time, it’s good work. We all still see lots of each other, everybody is happy, I experience a couple of years of total bliss.

Right now
Nothing much has changed materially but I’m struggling a bit . Even a months freelancing was causing some serious family upset in combination with OH's full time job. So I’ve pulled the plug on freelancing and it makes no rational sense for me to return for the time being.

So now I guess I should be making a proper transition to a post career life... and I’m finding it a bit difficult. I hadn’t really appreciated the extent to which the friendships I’d built over the years were dependant on work mostly for proximity but also shared outlook and so on. Obvious in hindsight and a fairly well trodden path I think, but a bit of a bugger nonetheless.

TLDR; RE'd then face planted on something I didn’t expect.

[FBeyer]

Welcome. That sounds awesome all in all.
I'm curious: how did you react immediately after the IPO news hit you?

[Cornerman]

Welcome, isn't there a project you can work on or advise and help people start company's in your former field ? Gives you the contacts , maybe a bit more energy and it isn't a freelance gig as such as it used to be, if you get what I mean.

[Earlybath]

I'm curious: how did you react immediately after the IPO news hit you?

It didn't really hit me as such, the acts of paying the mortgage off and going freelance a few years before were pretty huge in terms relief from anxiety. I was comfortable living like that and had dismissed the whole RE thing as out of scope. The possibilities afforded by the lump sum didn't really start to dawn on me until perhaps 18 months after, when the tax was paid, investments chosen and some return seen. Even then it took another year or so living with a closer eye on the budget to accept that I was at 'good enough' levels.

Welcome, isn't there a project you can work on or advise and help people start company's in your former field ? Gives you the contacts , maybe a bit more energy and it isn't a freelance gig as such as it used to be, if you get what I mean.

Tricky one, from my teens to my late thirties the answer to every problem was always better job, more job, different job, which kind of worked but gave me a bit of a distorted world view. Having locked the monomaniacal work gimp in the cellar I'm not sure it's safe to let him back out just yet.

[Cornerman]

I get what you mean, I was looking into working for a non for profit as a volunteer to ease the transition in the future before I got sick. A friend of mine did that after his kids went too school , he was a stay at home dad. For him this worked well. He also didn't want to go back to the rat race.

I might go along this path after I get better. Just to get back into some form of occupation.

[Earlybath]

Yes I also looked at voluntary work, I don't know if it's a UK thing but they did seem to be a bit too prescriptive and structured for my taste. That said they do seem offer a good bridging activity, perhaps as part of your convalescence or is it too early yet?

[chenda]

Have you considered persuing artistic interests ?

[Earlybath]

Maybe, sort of. Depends on your definition of artistic, one of my old interests that I've dusted off is photography.

What I started to find last winter is that when the days draw in I need a more active draw to get me out and about. It wasnt obvious before, but that was one of the positive side effects of work for me.

As a contrast, my retired next door neighbour, knocks out some cracking prints and makes mechanical toys without apparently feeling much need for social interaction all winter.

Hopefully I'll put my mind to something more imaginative than freelancing this time around.

[chenda]

You may wish to consider an Instagram account or similar to give your photography a formal outlet and focus...