How can I fit in more people without spending more money?
I'm an ENFP, and I am going CRAZY without enough in-person social time.
Pre-ERE goals, I used to go out to eat with friends almost EVERY NIGHT... Most of my close friends have moved away, so now I'm in limbo: need to socialize, don't want to spend money; need to make new friends, don't want to spend money.
Unfortunately NYC has very isolating architecture, IMO. It's not conducive to just 'hanging out' at people's houses.
Any ideas?
Well, at my city we have those free community "newspapers" which are around 90% advertisement, but around 10% community news like Choir ABC is holding a free concert on Saturday and SportsClub XY is holding a free sprotsfestival on sunday and stuff, maybe you could find inspiration there? (I think my city also has a calender on its website where basically all events are listed and you can sort by price) Every time I attend an event I usually get to know two, three people to talk to, so it works for me.
In addition: is there something that you like to do a lot? For example I like to sing so I might start to sing in a choir after I finished my studies. Or join the local knit circle, or a roller-blading circle, or whatever... But I guess you have to pay the price of commitment here.
If you are religious, what are the churces around you offering? Some here have discussion rounds, some church dinners, some have their own libraries...
Are you interested in learning? Are there universities around that offer free talks etc.? Usually I also get to speak with fellow listeners afterwards.
Sorry for the big "me" in this post, but maybe my plans can inspire yours.
You are not alone! A previous thread on the challenges of socializing in NYC:
I wish there was a way for the I's to pay the E's here to attend our social obligations for us. I would be happy to get out of socializing, and the person I hired would get a night out and a little pocket money. Win-win.
@jenny - An escort service with no one to escort? LOL
@jennypenny,
I like that idea, but my designated extrovert would also need the ability to "have fun" when so ordered :)
@George-Too funny! It could be a new semi-ERE job for me as the Stepford Madam. I can see advertisements for "socially-adept extroverts to discreetly service the needs of the introverted and socially awkward." Haha, I'd be my best client.
@Hoplite--They'd have to make a good impression, and they'd definitely be required to talk about how great we are and how our social status forces us to limit the number of engagements we attend personally ;)
ok, way OT now...
@SideStep - What has generally worked for us---but we're coming from a base-level of 0-1 considering 4 social encounters within a month an extreme outlier---is to combine food and drink with some activity (playing bridge, talking about a specific subject, canning, ...) at our place (or their place).
I think the activity is an introvert thing. It gives us something to do so we don't have to talk [or gesticulate]. You could just leave that out and invite people over.
Another strategy is to set up activities for every night of the week. This can be done through meetup or simply be joining several clubs, etc. I used to do martial arts 3 times per week and sail 1-2 times per week. That was more than enough.
This weekend we are gonna make pizza. Two couples in a house of a friend. The owner of the house will contribute the oven, the fuel for it, and the space. A friend of mine will bring broccoli leaves, arugula, lemon for the lemonade and the pizza pan. He will pay nothing for the vegetables as he grown them himself. I will bring cheese, flour, tomato, and the rest. Both wifes are gonna have fun in the kitchen. Everybody is gonna eat a lot. It will be quite cheap.
I'm an ENFJ, and yeah I suffer from lack of inexpensive socializing. I'm so not into spending a lot of money for a night at a loud bar.
Going out for coffee isn't too expensive, but it can add up. Probably the best thing is to invite people over for movie night, cooking together, potluck, or cards or board games.
Having roommates helps a little, but they will still do their own thing.
Joining drama or sports clubs can be fun. I played volleyball with one group many Saturdays and participated in the musical Chicago with another. I'd imagine that NYC as a slightly smaller city, would still offer some of the same social clubs.
Exercise with people. Even nice health clubs / group fitness studios can be under $100/month.
Hah, being an INTJ (go figure) I haven't run into this problem, but I guess it would be pretty bad for an Exxx..
Actually, come to think of it - I have. Typically, I just cave in and go out to eat/whatever they are doing. But it doesn't happen enough to be a nuisance, and often we just hang at their place or mine.
Thanks everybody,
I'm trying to load up on meetups for now... Maybe I'll host another ERE one?
Wow, the pizza party tonight was nice. We were five people, talked and laughed a lot, managed to eat almost five pizzas (almost one per person!) of very good quality, paying very very little! And I also received another offer of a nice land for me to buy.
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