http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ --- for those on the fast track to financial independence en Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:44:15 +0000 http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=1260&page=2#post-44079 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:53:33 +0000 jacob 44079@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Consider potato wine? That's my favorite of the ones I've made. Unlike the other country/fruit wines, it's very consistent (because the acidity of the potatoes doesn't vary). Since the potatoes can be eaten (only the potato water is used), the total cost of one gallon of wine is two pounds of sugar + $0.50 for the wine specific ingredients (yeast, acid blend, tartaric, ...) and six months to make it. It gets better with age so I have a rotation going. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=1260&page=2#post-44077 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:43:24 +0000 Mirwen 44077@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Update January 2013</p> <p>I haven't checked in for a while, so it's time for an update. This past month has been my best month yet. Total spending was only $1655. Vincent did attend daycare for about 5 months, but we ended that in November. He liked daycare very much, but he was ill (from various forms of the sniffles) the entire time, so we chose to forgo that indulgence. He is continuing to get weekly speech therapy at home through Nevada early intervention services. He is responding well, but is still very far behind. He has a vocabulary of about 70 words and occasionally uses two word phrases. He will be three in two months. When he turns three he will begin receiving special education through the school district instead. This is also free of charge.</p> <p>My Student Loan payments have begun. I finally have IBR set up and they set my payment at $48 per month for next year. I had to apply three times before they finally got it right. They kept telling me that I wasn't in repayment, and yet somehow my payment was overdue at the same time.</p> <p>The work on the house has ceased for the moment. I really need a break from renovations. I didn't realize how much time, energy, and money was going into fixing up the house until I stopped. The only changes left that I have committed to are installing wood flooring the the final two bedrooms, for which I have all the supplies. However, the outside of the house needs to be painted and I'm saving up my energy for that task. Supplies will be provided for me.</p> <p>Major purchases in the last few months consist mostly of a new grill for ~$450. I bought my husband one of those ceramic/kamado style grills for his birthday in September. We've had some really nice smoked meats and BBQ from it. I'm very happy with the purchase.</p> <p>Our Alcohol expenditures went up when we switched to beer. We've recently been exploring other means of medicated relaxation. Our special brownies are much less expensive than alcohol and still very effective. Our alcohol expenditures were 0 for January.</p> <p>Here's some averages from the last 6 months:</p> <p>Rent: $580<br /> Home improvement: $46<br /> Groceries: $378<br /> Alcohol: $74<br /> Fast Food: $30<br /> Non-Food Groceries: $22<br /> Transportation: $319<br /> Shopping: $286<br /> Utilities: $247<br /> Kiddo: $141<br /> Gifts: $117<br /> Doctor/Pharmacy $83<br /> Entertainment: $58<br /> Travel: $20<br /> Other: $10</p> <p>Total: $2411</p> <p>Gifts includes Hubbies big birthday present and all Christmas presents. The Transportation category is a little high because of a traffic ticket. It's one I got last spring, but they take a long time to service tickets here. They are also obscenely expensive. $540 for failure to observe a no U-turn sign. I got it knocked down to half that, but still... Kiddo is mostly daycare costs, which we are no longer using. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-42525 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 15:06:59 +0000 spearson1937 42525@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>It's all about keeping the balance between your family life and work. If you are at home, just make sure that you will spend quality time with the family. Don't bring your work at home neither you should bring your family concerns in the office. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41249 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 19:51:53 +0000 riparian 41249@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I just asked my mom how much I cost during the first year of my life. She said about $2-300. She recalls that the main expense was (cloth) diapers, and that she spent like $40 at the thrift store on clothes. Toys were all gifts or homemade (this is how I remember it too), and they kept me in a cardboard box or in bed with them (not room for much else in a one room cabin). So. I call bullshit. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41026 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 01:36:17 +0000 dot_com_vet 41026@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>One of the largest expenses (preschool/k - 12 education) is paid by everyone, whether you have kids or not.</p> <p>Daycare is expensive, but temporary. We helped defer the costs by having extended family help, and by using pre-tax monies. </p> <p>The writer is including "Adult Child Support", which makes the numbers insane. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41024 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 00:57:22 +0000 pathguy 41024@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>So she took all of her future earnings and assumed she was losing 27% compared to men, even though it might not be true, so she is just making up money lost.</p> <p>And she factored in the cost of future grandchildren as the cost of her kid... </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41022 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 00:10:21 +0000 jacob 41022@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>"Then there are the losses I would suffer as a working mother: half a year of forgone wages while on maternity leave and earning 73 percent of what men earn instead of 90 percent like nonmothers (or in my case, the equivalent fraction of my current salary) for the remainder of my career, according to a Columbia University study on the motherhood wage gap. This doesn’t include reduced benefits like 401(k) contributions, but it still adds up to over $700,000."</p> <p>There's the kicker. Opportunity cost (loss of projected earnings) is added in with the cash expenses. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41017 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 21:10:42 +0000 tzxn3 41017@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I believe it was MMM who said that children are as expensive as you make them. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41016 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:02:16 +0000 Dragline 41016@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>They make great salt miners and breaker boys, too, JH. ;-)</p> <p>As I often tell my kids, "I'm not payin'!" </p> <p>And fetch me a beer, dammit! </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41014 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 19:52:51 +0000 JohnnyH 41014@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Well, I can maintain my own adult life for $5,000 a year... What about a small human, that eats less, lives under my roof and does what I dictate makes them cost 16 times more?</p> <p>My kids are going to basically be my free agricultural labor force anyway. :D </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41008 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 18:32:54 +0000 Felix 41008@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Usually expenses are equal or greater than income. :-) </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41004 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 17:29:37 +0000 rube 41004@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I agree with the comments above. </p> <p>A better way to calculate the costs of kids is using a % of income.<br /> According a financial institute in the Netherlands the following rule of thumb can be used (for teenagers):<br /> 1 child cost 17% of income<br /> 2 children costs 26% of income<br /> 3 Children costs 33% of income </p> <p>For ERE and other frugal people perhaps a % of the total monthly expenses instead of income is a better way to estimate the total expenses on kids. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-41001 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 17:01:47 +0000 George the original one 41001@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Bunkum!</p> <p>$2 million is starting with $46,177/yr and allowing annual 4% inflation for 25 years. Who spends that sort of money on their teenager or toddler or college kid? </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-40996 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 16:30:42 +0000 Felix 40996@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I'd agree with Chad here. The numbers are simply unrealistic. Comparing the income of median-wage couples with kids with those of low-income no-kid couples could and adding that up for 25 years could give a more reasonable estimate. At least one that has a chance outside of an ivory tower.<br /> She states herself that her estimates go beyond what government agencies estimate and even beyond what the Wall Street Journal estimates where "some of the expenses they included seem based on the budgets of the truly rich, like furniture from Pottery Barn and bottled water delivery." </p> <p>So she wrote the article knowing that her estimate is as much as government and the highest WSJ estimate combined, yet didn't stop to think if something might be wrong with her thinking, not to mention the basic reality check Chad suggested.</p> <p>My guess is that the author REALLY doesn't want to have children and REALLY needs to rationalize that decision. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-40992 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:34:45 +0000 Chad 40992@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I didn't read the article, but the numbers just aren't true. Over half the population makes under $50k a year, which means it would take 40 years just to make $2M and that doesn't account for taxes and the expenses of the adults.</p> <p>So, the question is: was the article purposefully written as a "flame" piece or is the author just this dumb? </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2999#post-40989 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:18:45 +0000 mikeBOS 40989@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I thought we could all have a field day with this one. A writer at the NYT calculates it will <a href="http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/13/the-cost-in-dollars-of-raising-a-child/?src=me&amp;ref=general">cost her almost $2M to raise a child</a>.</p> <p>She includes paying the kid's living expenses until they're 25, I guess because she doesn't have enough confidence in her parenting abilities to believe she'll actually be able to raise her child to become a competent adult.</p> <p>So that's about $80k/year for 25 years. This is all, in her opinion, "without excessive expenditures." </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38871 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:26:37 +0000 jennypenny 38871@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@lilacorchid--LOL, that is so true. When they're teenagers the sound of the alarm changes to a door slam, but the principle is the same. </p> <p>@Jason--You're never ready, really. By the time you figure out how to handle the stage they're in, they move on to the next one. It's a constant (yet thoroughly enjoyable) battle of will and intellegence to stay one step ahead of them. Eventually you get to the point where they outsmart you most of the time, so you get out your checkbook and send them to college :) </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38869 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:16:23 +0000 Lilac 38869@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@JasonR - The nice thing about babies is they have an audible alarm feature built right in! It's just up to you to figure out why the alarm is going off. ;) </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38867 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:00:28 +0000 JasonR 38867@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Thanks but not quite yet. Mentally living in the future has it's drawbacks. Right now we're training me with a hermit crab and if I can keep it alive for the 9 hours she's out we'll try a baby. The pet store is starting to ask questions, but I'm getting better. </p> <p>Yes, "didn't have to make it" adds a certain flavor. Hopefully you guys figure something out that works for everyone. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38863 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:13:48 +0000 Lilac 38863@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@Jason - It could have been! Good luck with your new job! If she is working hard all day, anything you don't have to make yourself tastes 100x better. ;) </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38816 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 22:07:43 +0000 jennypenny 38816@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@Jason--congrats? Or you've just decided to give it a go? (also fun) You'll be great! </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38813 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 21:59:55 +0000 JasonR 38813@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>"Buckets of diamonds"? Was it me?</p> <p>We're about to do what Dragline mentioned above. That will be my new job. It may be tough giving up work, but since she truly makes buckets of diamonds there really isn't a platform for me to argue from. Dinners and a clean house are part and parcel of the package. Women like Spaghetti-O dinners and small house fires, right? </p> <p>I'm not suggesting that your husband do it because I am, I'm just saying we're going to try it. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38735 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 23:47:56 +0000 riparian 38735@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Dragline, I agree with you about parenting books, but childhood development is useful knowledge. A person can learn chores and a healthy lifestyle at any age, but nothing can replace the sense of self, dopamine regulation, impulse control, and neural pathways that come from good early attachment and attunement. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38733 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 23:29:31 +0000 aussierogue 38733@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@dragline</p> <p>gee i reckon you are being a bit harsh on authors...</p> <p>Why try and re invent the wheel (every new parent) when you can learn from those who have been there and done that and are supposed experts. We like the 'raising boys and raising girls series'. Many of the parents we know are either anti book / anti advice or rely too heavily and lose the intrinsic feel that it takes to be a parent. I reckon there is an inbetween. Like religious books - read em and take from them what you want. </p> <p>back on topic - i reckon we are getting hung up on the timing here (what ages whould you be at home) rather than what should be the major priority - 'good parenting'. </p> <p>No point being home during the formative early years if as a parent you are resentful, depressed and feeling like you life if sliding past you. </p> <p>So if a parent is going to stay at home they need to make sure they are in the right head space. otherwise its probably completely counter productive. </p> <p>So i have no doubt there are hundreds of examples of parent who have stayed at home only to make things worse. Some kids are better of in childcare. </p> <p>If you see parenting as a privilege but also have the insight not to over parent, then it is likely you will prioritse your life accordingly.</p> <p>@liaorchid </p> <p>fwiw you sound like a pretty switched on parent who cares for your children....which puts you ahead of the curve. I dont think your situation has a right and wrong answer. It will be about making a decision and then doing your best to juggle all the different elements for a few years. Again - not a bad situation. Imagine having a 400k mortgage, husband sick, child with adhd and you working 3 jobs....now that is stress. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38723 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 21:15:56 +0000 Dragline 38723@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Yes, Hoplite -- that's why you need to get to them/with them before the teenage rebellion. Which, fortunately for me and my missus, is relatively minor with the current generation.</p> <p>@riparian -- just going to school functions would be very passive parenting. You want to be teaching kids how to cook, do basic chores, exercise, eat healthy, shop smart and find value in everyday people and things. You can't really do much of that until the kids turn 5 or 6 and your window is until they get into their teens.</p> <p>And for God's sake, I think the worst thing you can do is try to learn parenting through books. Authors of such books usually have agendas and philosophies that may be inconsistent with your own. The history of such advice is pretty horrific -- it changes quickly with the culture, which means it is generally based on flimsy principles. Read almost any parenting book from another era and you will see what I mean. I would not say these books are completely useless, but they are best taken as merely "supplemental" information about specific problems or issues.</p> <p>Better approach is to ask older people who have raised children for advice -- especially if you have them in your family, as your children are likely to exhibit some of the same traits as you and your relatives. Raising children is an empirical experience, not a theoretical one. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38716 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 19:23:33 +0000 jennypenny 38716@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@lilacorchid--I sort of agree with Dragline. The baby/toddler stage seems really important when you're in it (protective instincts are strong because they're too small to defend themselves). Ages 6-14 are the big development years, and if parents aren't a strong presence, other people will fill that role (good or bad). I also think that teen years are important. Most drug use and pregnancy occurs during after-school hours when teens are unsupervised. My point is that all stages are important for different reasons, so I wouldn't base your decisions on what specific ages your kids are at any given moment. Be there as much as you can, and if you work some or most of the time your kids will survive just fine :) </p> <p>@Hoplite--that video is so funny. I can't believe how many commenters thought the video was real. I loved this comment "I approve of euthanizing everyone who doesn't know ONN is a spoof." </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38714 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 19:01:38 +0000 Hoplite 38714@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Whatever choice you make, there is a chance that after the age of 12, the children may not want to know you. In extreme cases, where the only signs of life are texting and eye-rolling, they may have to be euthanized:</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGXSPf9b-xI" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGXSPf9b-xI</a> </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38710 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 17:18:48 +0000 Lilac 38710@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@EMJ - It all comes out of the same pot, actually. We pool our money and to be honest, my husband just hands over his paycheque and I handle all the finances. (I'm way better then him at managing money.) The way I have the spreadsheet set up, all the expenses are on his side of it because we lived that way for five months this year while I was on leave and had no income. The only thing that changed when I went back to work was daycare so I put it on my side of the spreadsheet, along with savings. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38709 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 16:55:30 +0000 EMJ 38709@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Why does "Daycare comes out of my wages"?</p> <p>The time you spend with your children when they are young is worth more than time spent when they are older, even if they don't remember it.<br /> aussierogue and riparian said it best. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38703 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:44:40 +0000 Christopherjart 38703@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>My Mom stayed home with me until I was in first grade, but I know that kept her from making good money if she had gone back to work earlier. She still works full time between 2-3 part time jobs.<br /> If I had the choice, I would rather have waited 5-6 years and had her at home the rest of my growing up years. It would have been great to have had help with homework and other things instead of seeing her always exhausted. There is no time like the present to prepare for the future. It isn't just your ERE it is time you'll have to spend with your family for the rest of your life. The older you are, the more you need to save for the same result too. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38698 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 06:15:03 +0000 riparian 38698@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>I think you're making some incorrect assumptions about child development. Your child's attachment to you during the first 3 years of life is by far the most important thing, much more important than going to school functions. I urge you to read a couple books - whatever sort you're drawn to - before making decisions based on incorrect ideas about childhood development. </p> <p>Personally, I would quit. Just half an hour ago my mentor said to me, "money is nothing. You and me (meaning, relationships and family), this is it." </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38694 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 00:44:34 +0000 Lilac 38694@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>These are all good points. As for my husband, he doesn't want to stay home, and to be honest, I don't want him to either. A job makes him get up, unplug from his gaming, and make some money. I'm not saying he would ignore our child at home, but I doubt there would be a hot supper and clean house waiting for me when I got home at the end of the day! I have told him that now is the time for him to change around employers and find one who treats him right and he can deal with working for. </p> <p>At the end of the day, I will finish my 24 more weeks of employment and reassess then. This thread has given me a lot to think about and I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38668 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 07:20:03 +0000 DutchGirl 38668@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Before five, you're supposed to give your child some feelings of security, some self confidence and the first social abilities. I think (good) day care can help your child develop confidence and help it learn interact with others. So I'm not of the "a parent should stay home with the kid until it goes to school"-opinion. When I went to school at age four, I had hardly ever played with kids my own age. It was awkward and overwhelming. I think some mixture of spending time w your kid yourself (evenings, weekends, days off) and daycare is fine.</p> <p>After five, your child will need more guidance in developing itself, learning things at school, etc. that also means a parent doesn't have to be around fulltime, because the kid's at school anyway, but I guess it is nice if you're available to it after school. Not necessarily always, but some time. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38666 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 06:30:45 +0000 aussierogue 38666@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@dragline </p> <p>some experts reckon you need to give kids the good stuff before they are rational. agree with your points re the house husbanding in this situation. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38662 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 04:02:11 +0000 Dragline 38662@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>"The first five years are the most important in the education of a children. There's no money that can buy that."</p> <p>I don't agree with that sentiment at all. I think the most important years are between 6 and 14. That's when they really listen to you on a rational basis.</p> <p>In our family's case, my wife elected to stop working full time after we had our third child. It made sense for a variety of reasons, but financially, it makes more sense if the biggest earner of the couple keeps working and the other one minds the children.</p> <p>Of course, there are other reasons beyond financial.</p> <p>I think you should have that conversation with your husband. It makes the most sense if he stays home. Family is a team effort. And think about it -- if the situation were reversed, you would quit in a heartbeat. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38660 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 03:25:18 +0000 aussierogue 38660@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@lilcorchid</p> <p>Really interesting post.</p> <p>Like Bigato i reckon the first years of a childs life are important. I think i was influenced gy the '7 up series' of documentaries. "Show me the child at seven and i will show you the man" - or so it goes. </p> <p>So I gave up full time work (and i am a bloke) when my kids were very young. I have managed (and my wife has too) to spend more time with our kids during these years than most families and its beena real privilege. </p> <p>Having said that - you need to make financial hay while the sun shines. I am going to be sexist here - if you were a guy this would be a simple decision. Most guys like work anyway (for wierd reasons lol). </p> <p>But yours is a little more complicated. First step after reading your posts is to maybe challenge some of your assumptions. </p> <p>First one is that you personally would be ere (not your husband) if you let him work (he wants to work) and you retire. You said yourself you could live of his wage but not save anything....so what? Why save? He likes working - your house is yours......eeeeeeezzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyy street baby!</p> <p>Secondly - have you thought that the longer you wait in a dying job in a dying industry the harder it will be for you to retrain or set up for life after? </p> <p>Maybe now is a good time to get out - smell the roses, work part time, study - etc etc...</p> <p>The other option is to keep looking for part time and casual jobs doing what you currently. It may take 6 months or one year....but be proactive...</p> <p>Either way i think your problem is a good problem to have!</p> <p>Good luck<br /> Aussie </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38658 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 03:03:38 +0000 bigato 38658@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>Sorry I see I wrote it wrong. I mean, "quit after that 100 days that you said you have to wait", not after 5 years. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38650 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 01:05:04 +0000 bigato 38650@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>The first five years are the most important in the education of a children. There's no money that can buy that. Quit after that time, keep focusing on ERE and I'm sure you'll do much better than you think. You have the motivation and you'll find your way. </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38640 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 22:30:51 +0000 GPMagnus 38640@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@ lilac Happy you have the tools! I think you have your priorities straight - family, then FI, and your decision should be motivated accordingly. If your employer reneged on their promise to allow you part time work, and you think you are likely to quit in 24 weeks, go ahead and consult with a lawyer to see if you can force them to provide you with an 80% position. They may fire / settle with you, which will provide you with some salary and no waiting period and you might even be eligible for unemployment benefits .... </p> http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/topic.php?id=2841#post-38639 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 22:23:50 +0000 Lilac 38639@http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com/ <p>@grendel - Funny you would suggest going 80%! That's exactly what I was promised when I went on leave and then when I called a year later to discuss my hours when I came back, they said no and wouldn't budge due to other workplace crapola. I ended up getting three more months off instead, which was awesome (fell during the summer), but honestly, I'd rather have an extra hour a day. Ah well.</p> <p>"It is refreshing to see your question and perspective. There's more to life than FI. "</p> <p>There is. And this is part of the problem. Having a child was a very long and difficult (and expensive) road for us. He will probably be our only due to the cost and difficulty of having another. Having a family is a dream come true for me. But following up closely is FI. Granted, I haven't dreamed of FI since I was a girl, but I remember opening my own secret bank account at 12 and hiding money in there in case I had to strike out on my own so at least I wouldn't starve. Quitting my job means getting to FI will take a lot longer and I will have to rely on someone to support me (my husband) while I raise our son.</p> <p>My son will grow and he won't remember that I sent him to daycare for a few years, but he will remember if I can't make it to his school functions. The money tree is ripe for the picking now and I worry that this is my best harvest so I better clean up now.</p> <p>I am having trouble deciding which is the better path. Plus side: I have 24 more weeks to figure it out before I can even make the decision to quit. </p>